“Shri Mataji commenting on Early SY Experiences”. Delhi, India. 14 March 1979.
Shri Mataji:- That is it. Whatever you believe into just turn it down that time. That’s all! Because I am the ego(unclear) and the “Mahat-ahankara” Just say that and you will get the vibrations. Say that you are the Mahat-ahankara and you will get the vibrations. I am! No doubt. I don’t say that but I am.
Shri Mataji:- See, from where do you get your “Ahankara” (ego) I am the one who does. So I am “Ahankara” but the difference between you and me is only this that you don’t do anything and you think you are doing and here I am doing everything and I am not bothered.
Yogies laughing and clapping
Someone from the crowd:- As it is said in the Gita, Mother! Krishna says I am everything.
Shri Mataji:- Yea, that is true. Very True.
Shri Mataji:- So, let’s have. Who else.
Yogies:- (Unclear) Alex!
Shri Mataji:- Alex
Yogies laughing together with Shri Matjai!
Shri Mataji:- You are never…(Unclear) Yes, I remember (while laughing Mother says so) Alright!
Like that you see. People I have seen, even the complete…ahh.. complete flow of light, moving up like that. But they have not felt the realization. They saw it coming to the Agnya then the whole thing dropped back. They saw it. So they saw the kundalini how it was helping. The Adi kundalini was helping. They saw it. Even this light rising is (*) because your attention is still outside, you see. So you go on…flickering of the eye start. Then I tell you to fix up your eyes to my (unclear) then you fix it up to my figure and my face..what happens is the Chaitanya pushes you through your eyes to the center. You see! So that you see me as I am but the eyes are controlled by the Chaitanya and the attention that is inside you see, is pushed inside that what you call that?…aperture in the Agnya chakra. So I always say that if you are (flutering your eyes eyes please pay attention to me. So that the Chaitanya works through your eyes and fixes your attention to past…because the light starts spreading on all the sides. I mean you see that light. And the eyes go on like that. You can not close your eyes. It is that is the reason for that. Then the second thing you said that you are facing the…your Sahasrara was on the (unclear) there is one of the reasons for “Nirvichara”(thoughtless) is that. But also Nirvichara (thoughtless)is a way to express the blessings of your Mother. When She wants to bless you, see you wrote the letter. She was happy. Just to bless you. You became “Nirvichara” You see. It’s the blessing. That’s how you…That’s the grace, you see. (Unclear) from your Mother that you become Nirvichara. That one has to know. If you do the things that I tell you I feel, I bless you very much. Because they are for your good, for your “Kalyana”( benevolence), for your “mangal” (auspiciousness) and that’s why you are blessed and that’s why you feel “Nirvichara” Because I am Nirvichara myself…..Pause…
That is a mess up kundalini. You see, this is the thing. It is not. It is…This is what happens to lot of people. That is all “Ida and Pingala” problem. This is what happens to lot of people. This is Ida, Pingala.
Yogi:- Yea, I see.
Shri Mataji:- (unclear)It looks like kundalini. But you didn’t get any vibrations in the hands. It looks even some people get like a big hole (unclear). Especially this Muktananda, he does like that. (false guru) and you get a feeling, oh..you should never like the kundalini rising, (unclear) like an explosion, (unclear) stuff like that.
Yogi:- question (unclear)
Shri Mataji:- This kind of experience many people get. Like (unclear) also like that and so many people get that feeling like that you see. That something goes up suddenly it shoots off and you feel exploded and opened out and all that. But that is not the kundalini. It is the sympathetic nervous system. Which is very much in strain. You see! They have strain. In that expression of that strain what happens that the whole thing the energy of the complete sympathetic (unclear)
Whatever they have parasympathetic is sucked into the sympathetic. Because sympathetic is too much activated. You see! Then what happens is the parasympathetic system has your stored up energy. Whatever it is. It just sucks in all that. And when it is sucked in then suddenly the wave from the pelvic plexus down below starts. Because you see these all these energies are released to the sympathetic. Because the sympathetic is so exhausted that whatever is the energy left in the chakras is released. Once it is released, you see..all that released energy, you see..makes you feel that the energy is rising within you because it is rising through ida & pingala. Now this is the energy which is sucked into Ida and pingala it rises up and you can feel it going up and coming down and all that. But the after effects of these * that such a person, of course in these experiences people feel sometimes, horrible things also that they feel that there is heat, liberation sometimes they feel some sort of a scorpion bites going on, or some snakes coming up and all kinds of things can happen in this. Can be very horrifying also this one and could be very simple also. But when this happens after effects is like that- You become arbitrary. You see, all sort of this drug system started after that, because once you are released from that self control in between you can take to anything like this. Because you are free now. Do whatever you pleased with. You see! And that;s how you can take to drugs and all. And this is what all these gurus are doing. Is to take out the stored energy which is controlling you, suck them out on to the sympathetic. There are so many ways by that they can do it. They can starve you, they can make you work very hard, they can make you tired, they can make you say some mantras, things..I mean they make your sympathetic work so hard that ultimately a stage a reached that your chakras release all the energy that is stored in them and just get out of it. You see! And a person feels oh! Suddenly…there is something suddenly,(unclear)
But in these circumstances you see, you can, may have a big hollow in the head like that and is like a mad person has, see here a big hollow. And the whole thing is sucked in and you get a hollow there like that. So many people get the thing. That is very different. But because all that energy that was inside is sucked in. So it has become like a big hollow inside, you see. Like a mad person has too the same thing. So this is the way people confuse between kundalini awakening and the exhaustion of the sympathetic.
Normally in the kundalini awakened through Sahaja Yoga, you do not feel anything. It just goes up and works out. But sometimes if there is, after realization if there is an obstruction due to certain combinations. It may be the obstruction goes out like that. But there is a tremendous difference between the two. That first, you release in the hands of the vibrations. (*) but with the first one you do not get on the contrary you get heated up. And you start avoiding yourself, escaping from yourself. And this starts and that’s how you get into these (*) This is very much played by these gurus. You see, that’s what they do to you. They exhaust you completely so that you can not withstand reality and the present moment. So you try to get into something and once you try to escape it; you see the whole release and store (unclear) parasympathetic takes place. Deities are broken and you are broken. You become arbitrary. It’s a cancerous sort. It is not kundalini awakening but we would say it is more sympathetic system which comes into play. And the moment of (unclear) what you call that? Pumping. Ahh. Pumping of the energy start. And the whole thing is sucked in because of the exhaustion. So one should not confuse between the two. Because after realization you can not take to drugs easily, it’s very difficult. You have to really force yourself to take drugs.
Shri Mataji:- It’s a hypertension. You develop hypertension. You become very agitated. You start dancing, jumping, doing all kinds of things. You see, these things can happen that you can start dancing, jumping, shouting, doing all kinds of things. Getting into licentiousness, pervasiveness, because that’s how you are let loose. You see, the control on your being of the wisdom is lost. Then you just get into it. You don’t feel the (unclear) you don’t feel the conscious. Conscious is no more. You just shoot off. You just arbitrary. It can happen to people without feeling it. Even without feeling this, some people can get into it. They have no control. That’s how they become alcoholic. And they become all these things where they have no control.
Shri Mataji:- Now, Jay? Did you speak something? Pause. Eventually, he was absolutely on death bed. Because he got the cirrhosis of liver. And he was going to die. SEe, he had left Sahaja Yoga. He wanted to do on his own and all that and he just lost it. Poor thing, within three months he started showing his (unclear) and he was so I had brought him home. My husband had gone abroad. And he came back and said what is this? You have a got a dead person in the house? They are going to prosecute us, we are all going to be in jail, he is going to die. Next moment the lady (unclear) I just can’t look at him. He was very angry. I said, where can I send him? Afterall he is very sick. It would be very inhumane to send him out anywhere. He said, alright! Tomorrow you arrange something and send him away. But next day, when my husband got up from his bed he saw this gentleman walking about and he was so surprised and (unclear) can you see the fellow is out. Out of his bed. (laughter) I just can’t believe my eyes. And within seven days he was completely cured. Mother, then (uncler) just told me that some of us are so egotistical that we have to go to that lint to know you and to come to you. It’s not possible for some people to give up their ego and behave in such a manner so better allow them to go that position and then come back. I said, for a Mother it’s difficult. She will try to tell them again and again, that no no..you try to get alright. See, that’s what he told me. But this is very true. What I found with the western people that they are very egotistical. In the sense that, they don’t mind killing themselves. You see. The ego is so self destroying. That they know they are destroying themselves but just to satisfy their ego they’ll go on destroying themselves. And they reach such a funny point that you just can’t understand (unclear) that they are so foolish about it. Then he started respecting himself and then he went to his mother. He said I feel tremendous love for my mother whom he had left for years. He never bothered about her. Then we went down and now he is in Australia and he is looking after his mother and (unclear) and he writes very sweet letters. So this is what the thing is of wisdom (unclear) who was the leader of all the hippies of London and who was a very clever boy. And he was a physics professor so you can imagine what can happen to an egoistical person. How he can loose his complete wisdom. So thats done.
Because this was the first lot that I had from Bharitya Vidya Bhawan. There were about three hundred people out of which atleast two hundred and seventy five were indians. And they all were suffering from one disease or the other, I got such a freight. I was so angry with all of them that (uncler) some were suffereing them paralysis and some were suffereing from gout and all kinds of problems they had. And in that lot I found (either- Kohli/kooli or some other name-unclear) sitting in front of me and absolutely cool. So much cool that the (unclear) frozen you can say, dough a frozen dough. And i sent him I said this is too much. But because of his heart catching you see, when your heart is caught up, you can feel that kind of coolness. Because it depresses your heart and you get that kind of feeling. Kooli is a one doctor. I had heard about him. He was in Houston where they are operating small children. I had taken my grandchild there. So I met him and he looked very much like a cooli but he is a very tall fellow and very kindly person. And when I saw him combined these two (faces/pieces-unclear) Dr. cooli that I call him cooli. And that’s all. And whenver he talked he says Mother you remember me? I am cooli speaking. (laughter) Now come along, his name is Anthony. What’s the surname? (unclear)
He is from Cyprus. You see, Greece. From where Alexander the Great came to ascend. Now comes Cooli the Great. (cheers, laughter & claps)