How truthful are we about seeking?

Caxton Hall, London (England)




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How truthful are we about seeking?, public programme, Caxton Hall, London, England. 16 July 1979.

The other day I told you about the instrument that we have already within ourselves, for us to have our own Self-knowledge, which is an actualisation, which is an experience, which is a happening by which we become That. It is the becoming, it is not any brain washing or sermoning but it’s a becoming I’m talking about. When we say, we are the seekers of Truth, how truthful are we about this seeking? This is one point we should try to understand. Are we really, genuinely seeking? Are we genuine about it, or we are doing it because it’s nice to say that we are seeking the Truth? If you have to seek something genuine, you have to be truthful yourself.

This is one of the greatest hurdles in Sahaja Yoga. Sahaja Yoga is a system by which you jump into the Truth itself. You become the Truth, you don’t see the Truth, you don’t understand the Truth, but you become the Truth. It is most amazing thing that human beings don’t understand what to expect out of Truth. They are seeking Truth but they have no conception about the absolute value of Truth. Truth, we cannot compromise. It doesn’t have two sides: like you have day and night, you have right and wrong. It’s absolute! There is no compromise about it.

For example, as the other day I told you that when you get your realisation, you start feeling the cool vibrations flowing from your hand. And these cool vibrations are the indication that the Divine power has started flowing through you. Now, these vibrations that you have are flowing through you like a cool breeze, are absolutely genuine, they are much more genuine than genuineness, because human beings always have relative idea of genuineness. For example, say, if you take carbon atom- it can be placed in any way, it has got four valencies, but it can be placed any way in a molecule. You can change the form of it, but still, if you go to the details of it, the carbon will remain carbon. And a hydrogen will remain hydrogen, in its basic structure.

So, the Truth that is the basic thing, cannot change. You cannot mould it, you cannot befool it, you cannot act it. When these vibrations are flowing from you, if there are no vibrations then you are not there. Nobody can say that you are there, that you are a realised soul because you are carrying a big horn on your head. You may carry any signs and signatures saying that you are a great person, you have so many following and there are so many people running mad after you. But still you are not a realised soul and you are not. Even if you are crucified and you are a realised soul you can feel it that this one, the one whom we have crucified, is the one who is emitting vibrations.

But if the seeker is not truthful or is conditioned and he’s trying to cheat himself all the time, he is not going to gain anything. In Sahaja Yoga you have to gain. Nobody else has to gain, it is you who has to gain. So, you have to be genuine about it. You cannot purchase it with money. You cannot hide it by any false means. You cannot kill it. It is eternal. If you lose your vibrations in your hands- many people have told Me that “Mother, we’ve lost the vibrations, now, what to do?” As if they have achieved something great by losing the vibrations, sometimes I feel. It’s a mistake! There’s something wrong with you somewhere which you must get it corrected. If you think by talking or by befooling, by hiding things you are going to achieve anything, you are sadly mistaken.

So, we have to be extremely truthful to ourselves, we have not to cheat ourselves when we are facing God, when we are facing Truth.

There are some people in this world who destroy others and there are some who destroy themselves. In the same way, there are some people in this world who cheat others and there are some who cheat themselves. There are so many things in this world which helps you to do that – is to cheat yourself. So, be on the alert! Like you read some books- they pamper your vanity, sometimes, pamper your ego and make you feel ‘Oh, I’m all right, I feel all right!’ And you think that you have really achieved the goal that you wanted to, because certain books say ‘so, so, so, so…’ Or maybe, somebody is a man who is not interested in your well-being and your Truth-seeking, may give you an idea that ‘All right, this is the Truth, all right!’ So, you believe that this is the Truth and you accept it, that this is the Truth.

And with that kind of a conditioning, with that kind of an idea within your head, you go ahead and carry on your life. One life, two lives, three lives… You are supposed to be a seeker of Truth! How many lives are you going to waste seeking? Are you really genuine about it? Or is it, because there is a fashion that one has to talk like that or similar/ly? Of course, to cheat other is, of course, is a sin, no doubt. But to cheat yourself, itself, is also a big obstacle in the seeking of Truth.

So, we have to realise that we are here to face the Truth. And God has created us in such a way that He has placed everything so beautifully within us for this thing to happen, for us to get our Self-knowledge. You are not to go in wilderness to find it out! You are not to read anything about it! Which university did Christ go to, or Krishna go to? What education did Rama have as far as university education is concerned? You have to read within yourself, your own book is within yourself, and to see for yourself, in a very humble manner to understand, ‘Where am I?’

Sahaja Yoga is a system which says, ‘saha-ja’- ‘saha’ means ‘with’ and ‘ja’ is ‘born’. It is born with you. Everything born with you is genuine. Do you know that? We do not know. Our hands are genuine- they never cheat us. Our feet are genuine- they never cheat, do they? Our eyes are genuine: you see something white, it looks white, it is white. Our eyes never tell us that it is black. Only when we are sick, then the whole composition changes and you get all kinds of wrong information from this body of yours. Your heart is genuine, but we teach our heart to cheat, we teach our eyes to cheat. We have pretensions and the Truth knows you.

When I say this we should not have self-pity about ourselves. It is never the way to go from one extreme to another. This is a very common condition of human being. If you tell them one thing, they go from one end to another end. No, you just stand in the centre and see for yourself: How much genuine are we to receive the blessings of God? Are we really seeking God or we are seeking something else behind the name of God?

I tell you, everyone who professes any religion should just have this test and he’ll be surprised that either he is seeking money out of Him or he is seeking power out of Him or he is seeking some sort of a physical or maybe a material advantage of Him. That is how we are disillusioned by these people who teach us about Truth, because we find that they are not seekers of Truth, they are cheating themselves. A seeker of Truth has his attention all the time inside, on his seeking. He is not bothered about other things. The seeker wants the Absolute, the Perfect. The seeker doesn’t want something that he’s not seeking.

That’s why innocence is the best way one can seek. Like a small little child once was lost in a fair. So, the child started crying for the mother. And the police people got the child in the hand.

So, they said, “All right, just now wait, we’ll get your mother, but first of all you have something else.” They gave a nice balloon to the child, to play.

So, the child says, “No, I don’t want any balloon, I don’t want. I want my mother.”

So, they said, “All right, let’s take you down, we’ll give you some ice cream to eat, some chocolates.”

The child says, “No, I don’t want any chocolates, I don’t want anything like that. I want the presence of my mother. I want my mother. I won’t have anything else.”

They tried and tried their level best to pacify the child, but the child would not take anything else but would just ask for the mother. Because child had lost the mother and it was seeking the mother, it was doubting everything else but that.

But our sense of discrimination, our sense of understanding, our wisdom is so developed, is so foolishly developed, I would say, that we always miss the Truth and grasp the untruth. I don’t know how human beings can do it? It’s difficult for animals to do but human beings just manage. That’s all we have done so far in the history, if you see. Such great incarnations came on this Earth. What did we do out of their lives? We crucified them, gave them poisons, we put them in the jails, we did whatever was possible out of them. How many followed them, one or two?

But take Hitler now. How many followed him?

Because we have a special identification with falsehood, not with Truth, we have lived with falsehood all our lives. Moment to moment you’ll find we are doing like that. In the name of money, in the name of power, in the war, they say, everything is fair, in the name of so-called love. With all this, we expect to find the Truth? Also we expect that Truth should fall at our feet?

So, to all the seekers of the Truth of this world, I request to know that if you are seeking the Truth, this time you don’t miss it.

It is a genuine, absolute, eternal, joy-giving, being within yourself. Yourself, within your heart it resides, is the Atma, is the Spirit within you. It does not like cheating. It knows you are cheating, it knows all the field – kshetragya ( the Knower of the field). It knows what you are doing, what you are playing with, what you are doubting? It knows everything.

Because this Spirit within you is one with the Whole, it keeps absolutely in harmony, unison, concord, with the Whole. It is we, with our intelligence you may call it, or ego, or superego, whatever it is, we try to cheat it. It doesn’t like it, at all.

If you have to become that, if your attention has to get dissolved into that Spirit, then keep your attention pure. Purity is the way you are going to get into it. It is something between you and yourself. It is something which is your own concern within yourself, it is for you to decide and to understand.

If you are getting vibrations in the hand, if the cool breeze is coming, if your Kundalini has touched the Sahastrara, maybe, it is the Grace itself is pouring into you. But do not take it for granted. You will not progress fast if you go that slow way. You can only progress if you go on drenching yourself in that Grace. This is the first problem of Sahaja Yoga, I find, specially in the West. And that’s why I have seen, that you are more enamoured by people who are not genuine and least bothered about someone who is absolutely genuine.

The second point that comes to My mind, which is very important, the other day I hinted at it, that when you get your Self-realisation, it’s just the Grace that you get it, at the first shot, you do get it. It’s just the Grace that you get it! To maintain it, is your job. You lose it very fast, so many of you.

Because as soon as you get it in Sahaja Yoga, you start doubting it. Firstly maybe, because you do not think that you are capable of getting a Self-realisation. You undervalue yourself, because you don’t know how much God loves you. His creation will be destroyed if He does not give you Self-knowledge. It is out of this divine Love that you have got your Self-realisation. But you lose immediately the vibrations so many of you, because you start doubting.

What are you doubting there? Because you are confused! What are you going to gain out of doubting or lose out of doubting? There is no shop here. There is nothing selling. You have paid no money for it. You are not going to lose your powers or anything. If you are a king, you’ll remain a king, may become even a greater king. If you are a student, you might become a better student. What is there to lose that you’ve started doubting and playing with it?

Perhaps, very few realise the value of Self-realisation. I’ve seen the sick realise it more than the healthy people, sometimes, because sick feel comforted in their body. But how shallow we are! Just think of it. Sometimes, this Ambrose, this amrut is given to someone who doesn’t know the value of this.

I had some great saints in India who told Me, who know Me, and who know My work, that, “Mother, You are wasting Your energy on these people, they are no good.” They don’t want to come down.

I say, “Why do you say like that? I know they are seekers of the ancient times, they’re great people who have been seeking the Truth and today they are born as normal householders.”

But they said, “They are so identified with other thing that it is going to be very difficult for them to accept the Truth.”

You have to steady yourself on the platform of Truth, which itself plays around. It tests you. There are ways of testing you. Every minute it is testing. You have to settle down on it. While, I’ve seen many people saying, ” Then why should we lose vibrations?”

I mean, see the attitude, I’m saying. You are a seeker. Truth is not the seeker, sir. You have to settle down there, isn’t it? You have to sit down there, isn’t it? Because you are going to gain, you are going to get the joy that is Truth, that is Love, that is Eternal. It is you are going to benefit. So, why be that shallow? Why be that frivolous? Because you are people, of ancient ages, have been seeking the Truth.

There’re people you have seen the other day, I had met a man who was on the TV or something and he was talking big thing about wholesomeness and also of seeking and self-knowledge. When he confronted Me, I found him absolutely shallow, good for nothing, absolutely useless fellow.

He said,”I must have the experience.”

I said, “Why must you have, sir? Why do you entitle? Because you can give big lecture in BBC, because you have read this book of this man, that book of that man?”

It judges you, My children, it judges you every minute. You are judging it, but it judges you!

Perhaps, I hope in My lifetime, I may be able to see that Truth is dawn upon this Earth, in your heart and that thousands and thousands of you, who are really the seekers, receive it. But it’s a living process. It is not a artificial process. It is not just a movement, linear movement like that. It is a living process. There are so many things that have to work it out. Like you can have many plastic flowers, but to get one flower, how much time one has to spend watching it blossoming?

This growth does not cut anyone, it doesn’t move in a linear way as other growths do: like your power, like your political, economic growths. They move in lines, they have no relationship with others, you see. There is no relationship with the Whole, they have no sense of proportion. Like somebody’s nose increasing, somebody’s ears increasing. It’s a cancer! All these movements will lead to cancer, means they will eat you off. They have to eat up somebody to make their way. They just start blindly moving one side, then they cannot turn round.

It’s a wholesome, living movement. And that takes time. It can work out very fast. It can go into a chain reaction. I can assure you: if you all decide to be genuine about it and humble about it, if you little bit change your attitude about Sahaja Yoga: that there is nothing selling here, that you are the seeker, you have to knock the door, you have to ask for it and then you will be blessed.

This is the biggest gap I find, and that’s why sometimes, I feel extremely helpless. Please, try to understand. Please, understand this is the situation: you are seekers, you are really genuine seekers, you have been seeking for thousands of years. It has been said in the scriptures. And you are born on this Earth to get your right as the citizen of Kingdom of God. But seek That! Do not seek anything else, because nothing else is important, neither fulfilling, nor rewarding, neither perfect.

Today, we are going to have the meditation now after this. In Sahaja Yoga the meditation has only one simple meaning is that the Kundalini has to rise from the triangular bone there, and has to touch the Sahastrara, here, and open you to the subtle point. This is a simple thing, is meditation.

After realisation also, meditation means the same that you keep your Kundalini high up hanging there. You are with the subtle collective consciousness, with the Universal all-pervading power of God’s love. Once you are there, you are just hanged up into that blissful state. Then diseases don’t come to you, then mental tortures don’t come to you. You become a witness and you become the instrument of that power, which is all-pervading and you get the collective consciousness within you. It happens to you.

If it does not happen to you, then genuinely, there are some defects somewhere, which one has to correct. For which I am willing to work hard. And there are so many who have got it also. So, you are also going to get it and you are also going to feel it. There is no problem about it. It is a gift, it is not an enticement. Do not mislead yourself any longer- you have done quite a lot. Now please, receive the gift and establish it within yourself.

Do not identify yourself with all false ideas. Say, if you are a Christian then, ‘I am a Christian. Only Christ is the One.’ Yes, He is the One, no doubt, but He means many thing. Or if I’m a Muslim, then Mohammed Sahib is the only One. Or if I’m a Jew, then I do not believe in Christ. There are many like these mad caps all around. You are not that type!

Get over these boundaries and false identifications and raise your vision higher, which is called as adhishthana, you put yourself higher than what you are. Which you are! And just say that, “I’m a seeker of Truth! Does this behove me, my personality. How can I think like that about it!”

The Truth has to be universal and has to be for all of them, whether they are Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, atheist. It has to be for every one of you. So, you do not put it into compartments and strangle it, because then that is the end for your seeking. That is the death of your seeking.

As I told you before, a tree has many flowers and it has beautiful, one, whole personality. People take the flowers with them saying, “This is my flower. This is my flower.”

They remove it from the whole and the flowers become ugly and die out. The sap of life moves in the tree all over, it does not stick on to one flower because it is one in unison with the power of God.

We, human beings, are separated, specially for the purpose of our independent development, but, in our wisdom we should be able to see all this around us and learn from it. There are so many thing which teach us that do not get into compartments. Does a tree say that ‘I belong to England’ or ‘I belong to India’? If it cannot prosper in one climate, it does not, that’s all.

As human beings you are the highest and are the wisest and the best. Let God see how this blossoming time flowers you into beautiful fruits of His work, of His creation.

May God bless you all!

Will you put your hands like this, towards Me, just like this and take out your shoes? Now, you are here for seeking and not for any mental acrobatics. So, please, tell your mind to shut up for a while. So far you have not been able to find it.

All right, so let us go ahead. And now do not put your mind to any exercise. Just put your hands in a very simple manner like this, in a most comfortable position. Do not put any strain on your body. If there is anything tight, please, remove it. And let us sit little comfortably. Just most comfortably, but put both the feet touching on the ground.

[Pause for 2 minutes]

Please, close your eyes. Please, close your eyes, because when Kundalini crosses over the Agya, there’s a dilatation of the pupil. And then eyes little bit, you see a little bit, blind for a little while, but please, keep them closed, otherwise the Kundalini won’t cross, you see, because She doesn’t want to disturb you, you see. So, She’ll keep below the Agya.

Now, if you cannot close your eyes properly, in the sense that there is a little flickering in the eyelids, please, open them.

[Pause for 30 seconds]

Don’t be angry with yourself, you see. It is not true of everyone what I said you. But it is a little bit in everyone of us, a little bit of that lacking sometimes, you see. So, please, don’t be angry with yourself, but love yourself. By loving you will be able to judge it; what is good and bad for you. Just don’t think about it. It will work without thinking. With thinking it is not going to work out. So, just leave your thinking one side. You’ve not to think. Most of you have become blank.

[Pause for 30 seconds]

You have to get it like a small child wants to have his mother. In the same way, you have to get to the Truth. That’s all, very simple. But tell your mind to rest a while, not to take you to too much thinking. That is very important, because this mind only cheats you all the time. Train it up properly.

[ASIDE] You should record it, vibrations.

[Pause for 2 minutes]

If you are getting any cool breeze in your hand… All those who have come for the first time should see if there is any cool breeze coming in your hand, through your fingers, fingertips.

[Pause for 30 seconds]

You are [UNCLEAR] to the experience. Very good.

[Pause for one and half minutes]

Now, those who are getting cool breeze, please, raise your hands, all of you.

Mother addressing somebody in Hindi. Tumhe nahi aa rahe? (Means ‘You are not getting?’) [rest is UNCLEAR]

Those who have come today for the first time, please, raise your hands who are getting cool breeze. For the first time…

Mother asking a Sahaja yogi: “Aa raha hai unke cool breeze? Nahi aa raha? Unko bandhan do tou tumhara aa jayega.” [Meaning: “Is he getting cool breeze? Not getting? If you give bandhan to him then you will get it.”]

Now, those who have come for the first time and are not getting cool breeze, please, raise your hands. First time and are not getting cool breeze, please, raise your hands.

Have you come for the first time? Have you? This lady… ask her. Have you come… Yes. Are you getting cool breeze in the hand? Then raise your hands.

Did you follow My point? Those who have come for the first time and are not getting cool breeze, please, raise your hands.

Hanna is he getting cool breeze?

Haan? [Meaning: ‘Yes?’] What’s the matter? Doubting? You are going to waste all your time, like this, My child… [Unclear] How are you going to listen?

Please, raise… Are you getting cool breeze? No. Then again, raise again… All of you who have come for the first time and are not getting cool breeze, please, raise your hands. Are you getting cool breeze? Good. [Unclear] I’m so happy! Very happy! You all have got. Are you feeling better now?

One, two, three, four…and four… What about that lady there? Are you getting cool breeze, no? Getting it? Very good! All right, let it work out. Close your eyes, it will work out, all right? Only four people are not getting vibrations. Have you been to any gurus? Have you been to any gurus? Guru, guru. What you call them, masters or gurus or I don’t know… what all names. What do you say to gurus?

H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi