Why Are We Here?

Hampstead Friends Meeting House, Hampstead (England)

1980-06-06 Why Are We Here London NITL HD, 85'
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Public Program, Hampstead, London (UK), 6 June 1980.

Very beautiful personality. You’ve got awareness which is much higher than that of anything that is living created. For example, an animal doesn’t understand any beauty anywhere. An animal doesn’t understand if there is anything filthy or dirty or something smelling awfully. Animal doesn’t understand cleanliness, but human beings are so well created by God. They are so evolved that they can feel all these things, much, much more than animals or any other thing that is ever created before.

At this point of awareness also we start thinking about something that is of the beyond. We start thinking that this is not the end of life. Why God has created us? Why did He create us out of amoeba with such care, with such love, with such delicacy? Why has he created us to be a human being? Is there any purpose in our life? Or are we just here to exist like animals then die, at the most, having some insurances to be paid for our children? Is that the end of this human life which is being created with such care? For thousands of years a little cell of amoeba or, say, a little unicellular animal has gone through such a tremendous change to become a human being with this fantastic awareness. Why? Why has he come on this Earth? Such a question must arise in every intelligent mind. And when such a question arises, the search starts in the real way.

Before this all the search we have had as animals, I would say, has been up to a point, we can say, that it was for our preservation, for our food, for our excretion and all such things. But the real search has started in a very deeper way – which manifested at the human stage – was “what is the purpose of our living?” We are seeking our wholesomeness. We are trying to find out our significance in the whole. Why do we exist in this world as an entity? And this search has really taken up very, very seriously all over the world during the last fifty to sixty years. Can you imagine? It was never that widely acclaimed or asked for as it is today. There were few people; in a million, one would come up to ask a question like that. For example, at the time of Raja Janaka, who was a great saint and a great Sahaja Yogi, we can call it, one man called as Nachiketa came to him and asked him, “Sir, what am I?” So, Raja Janaka who was a householder, who had not renounced the world, he told him, “My child, don’t ask me this question. The time has not come. But if you want to know the question then you have to pass through certain tests.” It’s a big story about Raja Janaka, how he gave him realization. So, there was one man mentioned at that time who came to ask, “Who am I?”

But today the situation is very different? Very, very different. And there are thousands of people who are seeking, even in this country, in a very sincere way. Not only in this country – all over the world, as I said it. But in the West the quest is much more evident. Because the quest that started earlier in the human mind was first about the knowledge, about the knowledge of all the elements around us. And they wanted to know what these elements can provide us. When they started seeking, then they discovered science, they discovered all the utility of the elements for our day-to-day life. By doing all that it happened that we have overcome most of our problems to exist. We have lots of time. We didn’t know what to do. Except that if you do not spend them in the pubs and things like that, I mean, we have really lot of time. And a feeling that we must save time started growing very strong in the modern human being.

This came to us because there was an urge to seek. The time we needed to meditate to find out “what are we”. Now, when I’m speaking to you about something? What we are and what we have to be? You are not to take me for granted either. That would be very wrong, because if there is blind faith it’s not going to help you at all. If it is also a deny, it is not going to help you. It’s a very simple, practical, common sense. I can tell you how. For example, I say that there is a room, a big room, beyond there. Now, if you sit in this room and say, “Oh, I do believe you.” You do not go and see the room. Secondly, if you say, “No, I deny. I don’t believe you,” still you don’t see the room. So both ways it’s just the same. So, what you have to do, that is to see the room. And this is how you are going to see about the Kundalini, all these forces that are existing within us, with that open mind that, “Let us see. If it is so, it’s a very great thing.”

Actually, human beings should be really very much thankful that there is a purpose in their life, that God has created them for a very great purpose. He has created them so that He can bestow His kingdom to them. So that as a very, very loving and compassionate Father, He could manifest His light, His whole, entire desire by giving you what He has, is His kingdom, is a fact. That’s why He has created us. And for that He has made all the arrangements within us. As you would know that we have done nothing whatsoever to become human being. I mean, nothing at all. And we cannot do. I mean, if you ask any one of the scientists to evolve a monkey into a human being, they cannot do it. You try anything. You cannot do it. That evolution has come to us effortlessly. We have done nothing about it. Let us accept this much, that we have done nothing about it. So, we have to know also that if we have to go further with it, if there is something missing still within us, we cannot do it, anything. It has to work out by His Will. It is His plan that is going to work it out. If we accept that, is a very big acceptance. Because once you accept such a situation then you know that you have to just watch and see.

For example, when I tell you that within us lies all these three forces that are showing here, you have to see for yourself if they are there. Now we have shown here these three forces within us working, one which you can see, the left side one, which comes from brain on the left hand and goes right hand and goes to the left hand. The another force that comes from the left hand and goes to the right hand. What is the reason for movement and all that? Is a very big argument and, I mean, it’s a very big subject which, you can say, is a thing that works here, is the refraction of the energy. Now, the energy that comes to us first from the right to the left is the energy of our existence. Unless and until we exist, there is no, nothing can work out. It’s just existence, your emotional being, is just what you are, created by your past. Is your desire to exist. The greatest desire in the human being is to exist. If this desire diminishes then one should know that that person is a gone case.

This desire comes to us, within us, as I showed you here, and exists on our left-hand side mostly and is responsible for collecting and manifesting all our past, all our psychic effects and what you call the psychic itself. So, all that is our conditioning. All that we have gone through in the past is all there. This is the power of desire. When a desire comes into us then we act on it. So we have to have the power to act. And the second one, the one you see on the right-hand side, which comes to us from the left-hand side, is the power of acting. The power of acting comes to us because we have to act, and we have to learn through making mistakes, the right things. Because the evolution in a human being has reached such a stage that he has to have his freedom, a complete freedom to develop himself fully, as he has to enter into the Kingdom of God.

For animals, they are one with the Divine Power. They do not have any freedom. They, for them you see, if a tiger eats a man he doesn’t feel guilty about it. In the same way, you see, anything that they do, they think it is their nature, it is their swabhava, it’s the manifestation of themselves. So they do not feel responsible about it. They do not feel responsible for living or dying and they are not bothered about it. But for human being when they are acting, they act even for the future. Most of them do. Most of them only think about the future. “I will do this, I will do that, I have to go to Hampstead. Then I must start at five o’clock and I must reach there a little late, because if I go too early it won’t be all right,” and all these things we plan out.

All this planning comes to us because we can do it. We can think of the future and we plan it out. But mostly these plans fail and these plans fail so funnily that we start wondering, “Now, is there any sense in planning about it or is there some another plan working and we are not fitting our plan into it?” Now, this planning capacity comes to us, or thinking capacity comes to us, from the right-side power which is called as the power of action – Kriya Shakti. These two manifest the central power, is the power by which we evolve. By desiring, by acting on it, we start evolving by learning the methods which are proper for us. So, the first thing human beings discovered was that going to extremes in anything is a wrong thing. That is the wisdom, not intelligence, but wisdom. When a person starts developing wisdom he understands that, “I’m going to extremes in everything.” But when there is no wisdom yet awakened in a person he says, “What’s wrong?” If you want to jump from the house top, “What’s wrong?” If you want to kill yourself, “What’s wrong?” If you want to do any harm to yourself you can ask the question, “What’s wrong?” Because if you go on rationalizing everything, everything seems to be all right. Even robbing the bank, “What’s wrong?” Even, even any kind of harm or war or anything, “What’s wrong?” if the point comes in, because there is no wisdom to judge that it is all wrong.

This power of action is very, very powerful in the West. Because we are now standing in the soil of England and that because we have to deal with the Western problem, I’ll be more referring to the Western people and I hope you won’t mind. Because when I’m in England I’m absolutely English. And when I’m in the West Country, I’m absolutely Western. But when I’m in India I think I’m Indian. Actually, the person of my type is so abandoned that I really cannot identify myself with anything whatsoever. But please do not feel hurt if I say that in the West the problem is because of over-thinking. We cannot stop our thinking. There was the doctor, the other day I met in Switzerland. He told me, “Mother, You cut my throat or take out my brains? I don’t care? But stop thinking.”

Our basic problem is that we have put our mind onto thinking process. And it is like a mad horse going straight forward into God knows as where, and it is dragging us along with us, and we really get tired thinking about it. In this action business, when thinking takes over, action is much less. It’s only thinking. You see, we sometimes think, “All right, we’ve made a file out of everything. Now it is in the file.” We think it’s done. Nothing is done, but it would be as far as we are concern we’ve finished the job and we are sitting idly enjoying ourselves because you’ve put it down in the file and thought of it.

Actually, the evolution only starts when you start seeing the results of what you have done. And thank God today that is the situation in the West. If you tell this to the people who are developing today they will not believe, but this you can understand. When you have developed yourself economically so much, materially you have gone up so much, then you’ll find that the peace is lost somewhere in the whole run. We have lost the joy somewhere. We have lost our heart somewhere. We have become unhappy. Not that does not mean by any chance those who are ignorant of this fact are also happy. They will also go through the same circle because they are getting sophisticated, while you are already over-sophisticated and you realized that all this so-called sophistication has given us nothing but complete torture. We have alienated ourselves from others, we cannot communicate with others and some sort of a funny individual we are and we do not know how to face ourselves and we look at ourselves and laugh and know, “Now, what it is happening to us, we just don’t know.”

This is a situation when we find ourselves and then we start seeking again our wholesomeness because we think we have lost it. Actually, the whole machinery is so well-developed and so beautifully placed that whatever you may try, it cannot break permanently. I’ve seen all types, you see, and all kinds who thought that suicide is the only way they can get out of it. I’ve seen they are all being put right. So this machinery is a special made, much better than English machinery and any other machinery that you think is the best? Like Germany, you may say. But is, I must say, surprisingly is such a fantastic machinery, despite that it is such a delicate thing inside us. And I’ve seen certain people who have got this Kundalini, this residual force, just trying to express its anger and its anguish, the way it has been ill-treated by individuals. Despite all that, she is there.

Now, this is the power of germination within us called as Kundalini in Sanskrit language. I don’t think there is any word for it in English language. But they say it is a residual energy, is the energy which has produced the whole being and still exists there. That’s why it is called as a residual energy. And she exists in that sacrum bone. Now, this bone is called as sacrum even by Greeks – sacrum means sacred. Why? Because when the body burns, this bone does not get burned. This is one bone which you cannot burn. It remains. And that’s why it is called as sacred bone, maybe. But that shows how nicely this bone is specially make to preserve this delicate energy within us. Though it looks very delicate it’s a fantastic energy. This is placed there just for our connection with the Divine. Just as you have seen here, there are cords which are connected with this, which are to be put to the mains. In the same way God has also put those cords in you which are to be connected with the mains. It is there. You can see with your naked eyes that it pulsates. Thousands of people have seen it. Here are, there are at least fifty per cent people who have seen it – this Kundalini pulsating in the sacrum bone.

So, when you talk of realization, about God, of a higher life, one should know one thing for definite: it cannot be something that you can already do. For example, some people think if they can jump they are becoming God. I mean, there are myths like this. Some people, say, think that if they can fly they have become God. Some people think if they can take out their clothes they have become God. I mean, all sorts of nonsense exist with human beings as they are. I don’t know. How they can accept such a thing? Whatever you can do, cannot be Divine. You cannot make this bone pulsate by anything else but Kundalini. When she starts wriggling, then you can see with your naked eyes the pulsation of this Kundalini. You can see the rising of the Kundalini, with your naked eye. May not in all people. If there is no obstruction then the landing is so beautiful. Then the rising of the Kundalini is so beautiful, it happens in a second? Just split of a second. And you are not even aware and you are just there. Immediately you say, “Mother, I am so relaxed, absolutely.” The whole load has fallen down. The load is that of myth. It’s a myth within you. You are living with a very, very big myth.

The biggest myth is that we are doing something. We actually don’t do anything. Nothing we do. What we do is to change one dead thing into another dead thing, playing like children. But can you transform one flower into a fruit? One. It’s too much to accept but its fact. We cannot sprout one seed, pull out those things, can you? It has to be a living force, and all that is living is done by God, or I call it God, you call it Nature, whatever you may call it. But there is something else that works it out. So we do not do anything whatsoever. Whatever we do is of no significance. But the One who does billions and billions of these things every moment, whosoever, He may be, has to do also this job for you. And this is what first of all we have to accept that we are not going to do it.

Now I must tell you something about Kundalini because I know what you are thinking about? That you must have read some books about Kundalini. There are books about everything in this country, I’ve seen, and in every country. Surprisingly, I can’t understand that how can you do Kundalini awakening through books? I mean, you can’t even cure a person through books. You have to take the medicine. How can you make this living process work out through a book? Supposing you have to light this. If you start reading before it, “for lighting this, you do it like that”, so will it get ignited? You have to do the ignition itself. Otherwise, how will you do it? And when people write books also we have to know how many of them are really authorized to do it. Now, for other things, even if you do not have certain authorities, doesn’t matter. For example, if a doctor is there, say, if he is not a very holy person, it’s all right. He can make some underhand money, doesn’t matter. If he wants to take some more charge from people for operating or something or he’s a greedy man, doesn’t matter so much. He might have the debt that has to do it. Still, he can commercialize that. But Kundalini awakening is one thing one cannot commercialize. You cannot pay for it. You cannot pay, because it doesn’t understand money. It doesn’t.

For example, if you go to a tree. I tell you very simple example, common sense it is. You go to a tree and say, “Hey, I want some fruits. You know, I’ll give you five hundred pounds.” It is that simple. You cannot pay for it. It is stupid people to pay that. It’s absolutely stupid, as if it would be stupid to pay the tree. Not only stupid but it is insulting. Because what is money? These all human beings have created money, this, that. See, it is not even the dust of God’s feet. What is money for Him? And a person who talks of Kundalini or who talks of higher life cannot be guided by material things, Cannot be, such a person has to be above this. Those people who have been taking money in the name of God or in the name of thing are all absolutely wrong. You have no business to make any private earnings out of His name. Who has given you authority? I mean, when Christ lived here, He worked as a carpenter, because His father was a carpenter. He had disciples; did He ask them to pay them three hundred pounds for something and then ten thousand pounds for something else? Did He? He lived with two robes.

And it must be understood by all the Western people very clearly that you cannot purchase God. You can purchase the whole world but you cannot purchase God. One thing you cannot do is that you cannot purchase God. This is only they pamper your ego and befool you. You cannot purchase a godly person and you cannot purchase God. That is one thing we have to accept. And once we accept that, you’ll be surprised, our ego will come down. And people have exploited this ego in such a subtle way that I’m really ashamed, very much ashamed, the way they have come to these Western people. They are so sweet and beautiful seekers, so wonderful things, nice; they have exploited them. But I’ve been saying thing, this from 1970, loudly. I even took their names and told what they are doing, how they are mesmerizing, how they’re hypnotizing. This is not God. But nobody listened to me. They all built empires after empires and people were running after them. They wouldn’t care for me. When I went to America, they suggested to me that I should ask some money. Can you imagine? I said, “How much can you pay it? Let’s see. What have you got?” And this is what it is. This is the only thing that has really enticed the people, this befooling.

So, one thing one has to know in Sahaja Yoga, that in Sahaja Yoga whatever you may be, you might be the king or you, whatever you may be, in the presence of Divine you are just the same as anybody else is. And that if you want to become, then only you are a member of Sahaja Yoga, Nothing else. We have no membership, as you know. We have no regular anything. But so-called organization we have got which is not even registered or anything is so called, is the organization of love and understanding. If you want to become, if you are genuinely wanting to become only then we are here. Because that is what all of us are here for. Why are we human beings? To become something. So beautiful, I wish you could have the vision of what God has in His mind for you and He has made all the arrangements within you, as I told you, how beautifully He has made you. It all exists within you. All these seven centers are within you. And as soon as the Kundalini rises and pierces this fontanel bone, which is the real Baptism, not the artificial one. Like you go to a theological college and you start baptizing. You cannot learn about it in the school. No, you cannot! It is an authority; comes through the grace of God.

Such people cannot belong to any such organization, whether it is church, temple or anything. They cannot belong to anything. Everything belongs to them. So you must first have correct ideas as to what to expect, as to what to get within yourself and what you should find and what you should become. In this, naturally, you will be faced with many problems. And the greatest problem I’ve seen with people is that they are definitely misguided by the circus and the whole big platform, these so-called gurus and the fake people have floated in the market. So, first thing if you understand that there is no shopping in here. Finish off your shopping; leave it outside. And if you are still inclined towards one of the shoppers, you better go back. Here it is only open to people who are really seeking.

Many people have criticized me for this that, “Mother, when you keep it free any Dick, Tom, Harry can walk in.” I said, “As far as God is concerned money doesn’t decide about the quality of a person”. If anything comes in like that, also goes out by the other door. So, we do not have to worry about this. Our job is to see that they receive for which they have come. Now it is impossible to believe in this modern times that there could be somebody who is doing this just for doing sake, because there is a person who just wants to love the whole world, because there is somebody who is nothing but love, and giving love is the only thing that satisfies the person. And there could be many like this, is an impossible situation for people to believe into.

So we have to keep ourselves open. That this is what it is going to happen to us that we are going to jump into our collectiveness. It is going to be an experience and not a lecture that, “We are all brothers and sisters”, and all that. No. “Let us form a United Nations or a world government.” Nothing of the kind. We are going to become, again I say, is an experience, means that is going to be awakened within us in our awareness; we are going to feel it, subject it. Means, when the Kundalini rises out of these seven chakras? The seventh one is just to guard? The six chakras are pierced in. Then from your hands a cool breeze starts flowing. This cool breeze is the Breeze of the Holy Ghost. We called her as the Adishakti, is the breeze of the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, which is flowing on our central nervous system, and we can feel it. It is an experience which we can feel it and is a permanent experience. You can feel it, what are the fingers that are burning. You can feel it, what are the fingers that are giving cool breeze. And all these fingers denote your different centers. And these centers are within us. You can see here clearly how they are denoting the first center is here. Then the second center is here. Then the third center is here. The fourth one here, is the heart and the fifth one is the one which is here, is expressed in this one. And the sixth one, which is in the center of pituitary and a pineal body, you can say, at the optic chiasma point, is this one and this is the center here, is the limbic area or what we call as the Brahmarandra, means the hole to the Divine.

Actually, you start feeling it. Now, if you have ten realized children, you put these ten realized children in a room and bring a new person inside, cover their heads with some sort of a, whatever they like, you know – you cannot force children to do something horrid – but if you can, cover their eyes. Now, ask them, “What is the problem with this person?” Immediately they will show you the same finger. For example, they show you this finger, means the person is suffering from bronchitis, because this is the finger of the throat on the right-hand side, means this is the finger of the throat on the physical level. Left-hand side is the emotional and the right-hand side is the physical. But it must happen to you. First this must happen. If it does not happen nobody can help you. You shouldn’t be angry because it has not happened to you. One can work, one can work hard. I have been working for days ……….. [UNCLEAR] and nights together. You can ask these people, I’ve been really working very hard. But this love sometimes is not received properly. Maybe you have some physical problem that has to be cured and as a result of this many, many ailments are cured which are supposed to be incurable.

Now, I’m not a healer by any chance. Because I’ve seen some of the people immediately must be thinking about a third aunt, of the fourth husband, of the fifth son, like that, who is down with cancer. Unless and until you get your realization, you do not get the blessings of the Divine. First thing is your realization. Once you get your realization you’ll be amazed that automatically your ailments will go away, because when you start using your energy through your sympathetic system, you start using your left or the right side. When you use your left and right side too much then the center suffers the exhaustion. When the exhaustion is established, then you might get even malignancy, you might get cancer. You can get any disease due to that. But when the Kundalini rises through these centers she nourishes them, she integrates them and when she pierces this Brahmarandra the grace starts flowing. And it fills you completely. The whole, the whole integrated vital energy starts flowing within you and you feel absolutely blessed, cleansed, and light, and beautiful.

That is just the feeling I’m talking about, but the main thing is that you become empowered with your own powers by which you can give realization to others and you can raise their Kundalini. It is too fantastic to believe. Really, it is too fantastic. But I will tell you an example how it will works out. Supposing, I say, there are lots of pictures and things in here and a music, in this room, you will be amazed. You won’t believe me. But if I bring a television and put it to the mains, it will start manifesting and then you’ll have to believe into that. It is just the same, your instrument is made that beautifully. I have to just prove it to you that you are a beautiful person and not only that but when it manifests, it manifests all its beauty and all its dimension and the new dimension of collectivity, of collective consciousness. This is the solution of the problems of the world.

For example, even on political level, if you see that when you have your powers you are the greatest capitalist because you have all the powers. I must say, I am the great capitalist because I’ve lots of powers about it. But I cannot help it enjoying unless and until I give it to others. So I’m the greatest communist as well. Unless and until you share it, you cannot enjoy it. But this is not on the mental level. It is the level of actuality. This is the level at which you are. And that is the level I’m talking about which will be. In that you jump into a new awareness. For this you must know that thousands of years back, people have worked it out. Of course, maybe there were one or two people. At the time of Christ also very few people might have been realized souls. John the Baptist was a realized soul and He tried his level best, even putting people into the water to cleanse them and did everything. But I don’t think he could succeed with that, because perhaps the time had not come. For example, when there, the tree is planted you get one or two fruits coming out of it. But when there is a blossom time, so many of them, thousands of them, you see them getting converted into a new thing. It’s not conversion of words, is not transformation of just giving a big lecture to you. It’s a transformation which is an actuality. By finding out your absolute, by finding out your meaning, all other nonsensical things just drop out like that.

There are many here who have given up drugs. There were some horrible drug addicts. We had horrible drug addicts. They couldn’t even see me when they came to me. They were under coma conditions when they started seeing me. You see, they could only see light coming out of me and all kinds of experiences they had. But today they are sensible people. I didn’t tell them to give up. It just works out because when you have found out yourself you don’t care for all these things. If you have found out the gold will you put on these false ornaments on your body? When you have found out the nectar are you going to drink this dirty water? That is what happens to you, should happen, is being promised before and that promise is to be fulfilled.

Now the question comes in, “Then why you?” That’s very true. Why? Somebody has to do it, isn’t it? Someone has to do it. Supposing you want to do it, please do it. I’ll be very happy because I’m really tired. Can you do it? No. That’s why Me. I really tell you: there is no way out for me because I have to do it. But for this why should you feel hurt, so hurt? I mean, so many people do things for you, don’t they? I mean, you feel thankful to them for anything if they do for you. But for this if I do it, why should you be angry and unhappy about it? I mean, you just think of it. If somebody is doing something for you, at least you should be thankful. I mean, this is my job, you know. I don’t know many things. For example, if this goes out I cannot correct it. I cannot put on anything that is electrical. I don’t understand your laws. I don’t understand many things. Economics I’ll read, but I’ll never know. I don’t understand your politics. I don’t understand human beings of all the persons. But something I do. And that is this. I mean, you know so many things. I have to ask you. For example, I don’t know how to drive. I mean, there’s somebody who drives me down, always. I do not feel hurt if somebody has to drive me and I cannot drive. In the same way, you should see in this way, in a very simple way, that this lady knows this job. And I’m paid for it because I see the smiles on your faces, because I see the joy rising. I see you finding that which I have within me. It’s the greatest thing, the greatest thing that one can see. There’s nothing more joy-giving, nothing more fulfilling than this.

I want to invite you to this beautiful experience. I mean, on Kundalini I must have so spoken, I don’t know, hundreds of times in London, and there are at least more than hundred tapes they have got on this, into very detailed things. I’ve talked about ego, about superego. You can see the ego, that yellow stuff there. It’s the ego, you see, which through our action works out and it’s there in the head, you know. Sometimes can be very big. I’ve seen in some of them, you know, like a big turban, yellow turban coming up. Can be horrible. And, yeah, and you don’t know how to put it down and you have to be very, very careful with that. With this superego is on the other side where, by which you could be a possessed person, or you could be, just be a melancholic person. Like we had one gentleman who used to all the time cry in my program. I said, “What’s the matter?” He said “You know, I’ve read Lord Byron.” I said, “Now, what to do with this Lord Byron? Can’t you read somebody better?” He said “No, Mother, I’m absolutely infatuated by him.” “Now,” I said, “all right, you take another life. Forget this man, Lord Byron. Then we`ll see what to do.” Because he would not stop crying.

Both the things are just the same, whether it is ego or superego. Both can affect your realization. But still, I must say, I have worked out most of the permutations and combinations so far. Let’s see if I find something new this time, is an experience. It’s quite challenging also. But one should not feel in any way diffident, because you might have read some books about Kundalini, that when you have a Kundalini rising you start jumping like a frog. I mean, are you going to become frogs now, in your evolution? A simple question. You start jumping like a frog. How can you be jumping like a frog? Or you start flying like a bird. Are you going to become a bird? Or else they say that you get a shock. How can that be? Now think: this is your Mother. And she is your Mother only. And she has been your Mother throughout. Is she give you a shock? I mean, I’ve not known mothers who are waiting for ages together for the birth of the child, start giving shock to the child. I mean, you don’t think God could be that cruel as to create something like that.

This is because people are absolutely unauthorized. So many of them are absolutely naive. I would say, I do not want to condemn them much more than that. But I would say it is condemnable to get into something which they do not know about. For example, a villager comes to a city and he puts both the hands in the, say, into the plug and says, “Oh, I got a shock.” An electricity means “shock”. What will you say to such a man? Who asked him to put both the hands in the plug? In the same way a person who doesn’t have the authority, means that purity of heart, that purity of sense, that purity of dedication, has nothing to do with Kundalini. They are not realized souls. They’re absolutely unauthorized. And if they have got these experiences are, just to warn them that they should behave themselves properly.

Kundalini can never, can never trouble you. At the most a little heat some people feel. Especially I’ve seen in certain cases and certain diseases, you feel the heat. Now, the fantastic cures of Kundalini awakening have been mostly of cancer. Cancer can only be cured through Kundalini awakening. Now, this I have been saying from 1970. Now I’ve done this miracle in the sense that it has worked out that I’ve been able to convince our government about it. And they want to have a regular, sort of a working out of this special method through our Health Ministry. But I told them I don’t understand Parliament, I don’t understand any of that such nonsense, I don’t want to have any questioning in the Parliament. I don’t know how will you make me meet because so far always governments have been against all the saints. They crucified Christ. Anybody who came in was crucified very nicely. And all the horrible people were given great welcome in this world. See Hitler, see Napoleon, see all these people. While Christ was crucified. So I told them, “I don’t understand your Parliament. I don’t understand all these things.” So, for us it’s a task now to establish it in such a way that it doesn’t collide with the norms of the things that people have created for us. We do not know anything about the political differences and all these human created problems. These are all foolish things just created by the foolish ideas of human beings. It’s so mythical and so stupid that they, I don’t understand why should anyone pay attention to it. They will all drop out, you’ll be amazed.

When you come in this room, supposing it is all dark you’ll be fumbling here and fumbling there. You might say that this room is just a book, if you feel a book there. But if you see everything in the light you think, “What foolishness they are doing and making everybody mad with their idea. They are all blind.” Sahaja Yoga is the one that says, “You get your light first of all.” You must get your light. If you get your light, then only you will be able to see what is the truth. First you see the Truth, is the main point. Now, in that there is no argument. By arguing I cannot give you. I’ve seen people standing with the sword in one hand, “Give me Realization.” Now, how, what am I to do, you see? You cannot argue it out. It has to work. It works out for people who are thought to be the absolutely gone cases, you see, absolutely wretched, horrible he is, useless, good for nothing and he is the first one to get the realization. What am I to do? Now you may say, “Mother, how can it be possible?” If some people look very, you see, gracious and very helpful type, they are running three, four organizations of charities and feeling guilty for, say, Vietnam, where people were killed, and all sorts of nonsense that goes on like this, may not get any realization and one who is just standing near the street and says, “Mother,” he might get it.

This is the Last Judgment of your quality. This is the Last Judgment. And one must know that the Last Judgment is not going to come with a big weighing machine. How are we going to know? Through Kundalini awakening the judgment has to take place. And you are judged and judged and judged. But this judgment is so beautiful that you are not damned with anything, you are not completely imprisoned. But you are given a chance to improve, to reform, to be perfect, and to enjoy the beauty that is promised, the beauty that is described, the beauty that we are, the beauty that is Truth, that is bliss, that’s Heaven. That’s what it is. I’m talking about Sahaja Yoga. It sounds very fantastic. Everybody has used my words. I went to America and for that, I was the first to go there, and I was speaking; they had all tape recorders, everything they taped it and those people who were there they told me, “Mother, what are you doing? Why do you allow them to tape it?” I said “Why?” They said, “They will use your words.” I said, “Let them use.” “And they will use your ideas.” I said, “Let them use, very good idea. It will spread.” Then they said, “They will make money out of these.” I said, “Let them make.” But they cannot give realization. They have to come to me for realization. They have to take their Realization and then only they can work it out. It will be all talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. What does it matter? I’m in no danger. On the contrary I feel better. Some ideas will trickle into. It has worked. It has worked, no doubt.

So, if somebody talks about Divine and talks about God, everything, then one must know that by talking you do not get to God. It’s a happening. If it works out, you are the most fortunate person, most fortunate person and we have had so many people in this great country. I think England is the heart of the Universe. It is the heart. India has the Kundalini but England is the heart. I’ve said it many a times. People are not that shifty, neither that arrogant, in the center, but like rather hard nuts, you see. They take time. They take time. They are little bit skeptical and could be quite wondering because it is too much for them. But still, they are very steady people and it goes down very deep into them. I’ve seen, I’ve always said it also, that the best young people are in England. I don’t know for what reason because I have now experience from Russia onwards to Australia I go round, and everywhere. But most surprising thing is that even Australia which is supposed to be they were convicts and things like that, is taking it up just like that. Only two people came from Australia and the way they are doing it, it is amazing.

So, let’s see what happens today in this beautiful place, Hampstead. If it works out, very good and it should. I’m going to be here with you for six years at least, I hope so and I’m sure within that period, many, many should get it. But you must know that here is only your dedication and understanding which is going to keep you persisting into it and nothing else. Because our habit is, if you pay ten pounds, say, to see a play and the play is horrid, absolutely you can’t bear it, but you go through it. You see, you paid ten pounds so you can’t go back. Because you have not paid any money here, there is no binding force. You have to little bit bind yourself and come down a little onto it and work it out yourself. Because you are in complete freedom, complete freedom to stick on or go away. Nobody is going to force. It is for you to decide. Nobody is going to decide for you. At the most the other Sahaja Yogis may tell you that “please”, you see, this is a tricky stage. You just see now, you are just going to slip out.” They may tell you because they all have slipped out like that. Can you imagine, I was working only on six hippies for four years in London? Then, by chance, they all got all right, everything was fine, and they are today very great Sahaja yogis. So, it can work out with everyone. And once it started triggering it is triggering very fast.

I would like you to ask me any questions, if you have any and answer them. But for meditation you must know you have to dedicate yourself with the idea that you have to get it. The time has come. The moment may be today. Today is the time for giving meaning to all your lives and to all your seeking.

May God bless you. Thank you.

Shri Mataji: Is there any question? Any question? Please, ask me. You can read this also.

Seeker: ……..[UNCLEAR] Mother, to a person who has lost the desire? It’s something that I’ve been carrying, I shouldn’t mention that.

Shri Mataji: Forget it. Have you lost your desire to exist? Ha?

Seeker: All right, I think I don’t desire to live much. Some other time, not to kill myself, but.

Shri Mataji: You see, I know it’s desperate sometimes, you know, the things are. But that is the sign of a great saint also, is a sign of a seeking, you know. You feel, “What’s the meaning?” After all, you have not found the meaning. So you feel that way. It’s all right. But not for Sahaja Yoga, I didn’t say you are a gone case for Sahaja Yoga. All right? May God bless you. Like I met two girls, one was eighteen, another was nineteen, from Sweden, Sweden. Now, just imagine, Sweden. The people are so very rich there. And both of them had vibrations like a dead body, absolutely numbed out. I called them, “Is it true?” I mean, my heart was pounding, absolutely. I couldn’t understand. Such love and such compassion started flowing and I said “You, the young people just now blooming out. What’s the matter? What do you think about death?” They said, “We are all the time doing nothing but planning about death.” Can you imagine? How miserable it is, how horrible it is. But for Sahaja Yoga that’s a good sign because you are really desperately seeking it.

But on the whole one should be a cheerful person, is a good idea to be cheerful. After all, you are entering into the Kingdom of God. Now if you are, say, even going to 10 Downing Street and if you have a very long face, you see, people will say, “Put, put up a little smile.” So we have, I have told them that if you have to say the first mantra is “cheese”. All right? What about you saying “cheese” once or twice? Will be good idea. Mmm. Good idea. It will work out. Mmm. Is there any other question? Please.

Seeker: Mother, we have a small talk from somebody before you, an any, he said you were prophesied in all the Scriptures, that, that he’d …….. [UNCLEAR].

Shri Mataji: Oh, did they say so? I told him not to say this. We’ll get these problems, you see. Now, forget it, forget it. You better find out later on. All right? Who said that, Marcus? How dare you? No, no, no. Forget it. Forget it. You see, this is all to be found out later. It would be something like telling someone, you see, that as soon as you get inside the room you will find somebody like that and you just don’t want to get in, you see. So, please, forget all that. If he has said all this. Did you?

Sahaja yogi: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Could be frightening.

Sahaja yogi: It’s reality. This is reality. ….. [UNCLEAR] and it is so nice to settle down and then these things really works. And he told me this and this and …… [UNCLEAR].

Shri Mataji: Thank you very much. Now, the fragrance you will get because, because this is your own fragrance, for your information. Because you are made of the, one of the centers – the lowest one – is made from the Mother Earth, you see, the soil. And the soil, the essence of the Mother Earth, is fragrance. So, it starts breaking up. You see, you come into your subtler being. So first sometimes you get a tremendous fragrance also. Sometimes you may just see a little light also coming in you or maybe you might see all these things. But what I would say, that when we have to go to the airport you don’t see all these thing around. It’s nice to see it, isn’t it? But best is to go to the airport. All right? I’m happy you are having a comfortable journey. That’s a good thing. Yes, it is just to give you some comfort that, and it is fragrance you’ll get many a times, whenever you think of me. It’s true.

Seeker 1: So us to improve is the main reason you have to come …. [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Yes, I have. I have. We have…

Seeker 1: …. [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Yes, in Caxton Hall we have the program every Monday. Caxton Hall. And otherwise also they are organizing my program all over. We have been to many places. Like Chiswick in, lots of, Enfield and lots of places I’ve been to. And also all over England, I have tried to cover as many places as possible.

Seeker1: How do we come to progress?

Shri Mataji: How to progress? Yes, that is.

Seeker 1: Not to be concernedly about.

Shri Mataji: No, we have also a little ashram which is rented by some of the Sahaja yogis where we meet every Sunday in the afternoon, where we tell people how to progress, how to go further, and how to work it out. And there the greater intimate relationship is established among all of you to understand it. And they look after also some personal problems and things. Yes?

Seeker 2: Nothing, I have turned actually, I am a bit cold because, you see, that’s my position. Unless…… [UNCLEAR] I was going to sit down there.

Shri Mataji: All right. I think… I would suggest…

Seeker 2: I also wouldn’t stop it, stubborn for that, but then it keeps on my nerves.

Shri Mataji: All right, please, sit down. Here.

Seeker 2: Its one way open.

Shri Mataji: All right. Just is all right. Now, what I would suggest, that if you want to have a tape of this my speech you can just… Please.

Seeker 2: …. [UNCLEAR] If I had like …. [UNCLEAR] then I would shut it down as I came in. That’s what is all right. It looks as he only does it for me.

Shri Mataji: All right, all right. Now it’s all right. You can take the tape. I mean, if you give a tape to these people, they will tape it for you and give it to you as much as you like, as many as you want. So, just… you have to just give a tape to them because, you see, as I told, we don’t take any money or anything but we shouldn’t expect others to pay for our tapes also. I mean, it should not be the other way round.

Seeker 3: I know that also …… [UNCLEAR] Shri Mataji, was healed and he was a doctor. ……. [UNCLEAR], Shri Mataji what, what should be done to Western Europeans or this could also cure them?

Shri Mataji: What should we?

Sahaja yogini: What should be done to these Western Europeans well to cure them?

Shri Mataji: This is what I’m doing. It was necessary, you see, for you to progress that way, to see for yourself that there’s something wrong. And this is what I’m doing here, is to raise your Kundalini. This is the solution of the problem. Not by running away from it, but just by facing it you will see that. It will happen. There are so many people already here who are all Western people with the Western brains, over-developed. They have become this. Sometimes, some of them do get this Mister Ego coming back onto them, but now they can see it. Unless and until you get out of your car you cannot see it, you cannot cure it. So to cure yourself you must get out of it. Then only you can cure it. Is it all right now? To cure it, all of you must get out of the car to see it.

Seeker 3: And once we see it?

Shri Mataji: Beg your pardon.

Seeker 3: And once we see it, what do we do?

Sahaja yogi: Once we see it, what do we do?

Shri Mataji: Now, it is a question, is very simple and can be answered very simply that once it is lighted what does it do?

Seeker 3: It turns then on.

Shri Mataji: And it gives light.

Seeker 3: hence, it can also give darkness.

Shri Mataji: No, but you give light. All right? That’s what happens. When you get it you give light to others. You become to others. You enjoy your own light. The light starts flowing through you. You enjoy that light. And you give light. A very good simile is given like a hollow flute. You become the hollow flute through which the melody flows. And others say that it is you who is playing but actually you see the melody flowing and enjoying it. You become that.

Seeker 3: But this light does not help us with our problems, the problems which influence my life.

Shri Mataji: The problems that influence your life are because of…

Seeker 3: They are important, too.

Shri Mataji: No, they are very much there, because you have not known yourself.

Seeker 3: Pardon?

Shri Mataji: Because you have not known yourself. You see, supposing I start driving the car I will jump into every problem. But if I, I know how to drive I’ll manage it. You become the master.

Seeker 3: Not everybody.

Shri Mataji: Yes, it does. They have, necessarily. They do. It is necessary. That’s why it happens.

Seeker 3: Not really, other people driving also know how to drive but keep it to their own; more often do not.

Shri Mataji: It is, it is not like that, the way you are taking analogy too far. It is that you become the master of your own problems. You start seeing the problems with a different angle. You see, now supposing you are – I’m giving analogy just to make you understand but you cannot pull it to that extend, you see, that confuses you. Try to understand it, not to confuse yourself more, but to understand. You see, to solve a problem you must try to face it and try to understand it. Now, for example, say, you are in the water. All right? Now, there are waves in the water and you are, you are in it and you don’t know how to swim. So, you are bothered about it. But supposing you know how to swim, you’ll enjoy it. All right? That’s it. Now, is it all right?

Seeker 4: Yes. No, it’s not. It’s very bad, actually. Or I don’t know if it’s bad but it’s also related to …….[UNCLEAR] more straight on the Eastern theory …….[UNCLEAR] in the East……[UNCLEAR].

Shri Mataji: What is he saying? All right. You see, these are all problems of dogmas and all out of ignorance. I have to tell you that Christ is living within us. He exists within us. We cannot deny Him. He is within us here, as I told you, behind, inside there. He is there. But you have not yet awakened Him. You are not connected with Him. That’s the only problem. And we’ll see ourselves how it works out. If all these deities are awakened within us, which are there, then they manifest their powers. Now, what is the power of Christ?

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: What’s the thing?

Sahaja yogini: It’s something about meeting snakes.

Shri Mataji: Aha! Yes, yes. Yes, yes. The way he condemned, you mean to say. John had condemned them, is it? You are saying about that?

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: It all comes out of ignorance about it, you see? People try to dominate others; some people try to take domination from others. It all comes out of ignorance. All these things have come out of ignorance. Is even sum total, I would say. Because in one lecture you cannot deal with such… so many varieties. But in the, on the whole I will say, it’s all ignorance. See, when you are there you do not dominate anyone; neither you take domination from anyone. You are just standing, it happens, it happens, worth trying. Why not? All right? Worth trying, isn’t it? It looks fantastic; that’s all. If you forget that part, let’s try.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Left and right is he said?

Sahaja yogini: I don’t know. He said that it’s a different thing. It’s a different part of the body when, when they said evolution from, from the centers there.

Shri Mataji: But the evolution is going out?

Sahaja yogini: When he said evolution and he said it yet means associate to different things which is expanded in different parts of the body.

Shri Mataji: Yes, that`s all developed in our evolution. You see, the association comes like this that first our left side developed much more, you see, and then the right side developed. And at the time now, today where we are placed, we are developed in such a way that our right side is much more effective sand it’s much more dominating than the left side, especially in the West, you see. But how it relates, how it relates to our fingers and all that, that you can see yourself. Gradually you will see yourself. It is to be seen as I said it. You cannot by argument understand it. You should see it yourself.

Seeker 4: So assuming that, then …… [UNCLEAR] paralyzed on my right hand side. The thing is that if I am jealous about…

Shri Mataji: Not paralyzed. They were not. But if you take a primitive man. Take it like that, all right? The primitive man doesn’t have his right side so much developed. And the, and the person who is over-developed his right side has a much more overpowering on the left-hand side in the sense that the, if you see the yellow side of that balloon oppresses the left side and the person becomes very dominating person. So, on the primitive person, say for example, some people who have taken to, say, primitive life, outside, they cannot become primitive, brain-wise. They cannot. You see, outside you might wear clothes of primitive people but inside the brain has developed like that. So, by Sahaja Yoga what we do is to bring you to the balance. Both things are brought in the balance. Once they are brought to the balance, you get it.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: No, no, no.

Sahaja yogi: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: You see, whatever you have known. No, no listen, I’ll answer this question, very simply. Now, whatever you have known or read about anything, or have been discovered, what has it produced? What has it produced? What is the effect? Nothing. But you will see yourself that it is so. Even people, you will be amazed, I’ll tell you, I’ve seen people who are very, must have been very egoistical once upon a time, all right? But then they took to drugs which take them to the left side. There are many drugs, alcoholic especially, not LSD but things like hashish and all that, you develop, start developing your left-hand side. Specially people who go to spiritualists. They have a very strong left-hand side development and the big wobbling going on, you know. It’s very unsteady condition. Sometimes this comes up this side, sometimes this comes up. And lots of permutations and combinations, but in a simple way I’ve told you. It works out in very, lots of permutations.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: No, no. I have seen that, but you see for yourself. What you are saying is out of your own knowledge which has no shown any results, but I’ve seen people who take LSD move more towards the right. They have supraconscious effects. They show more on the lights and all those things, its supraconsious. When you go deep into it you’ll see yourself. You should see yourself. What I’m saying you should see yourself. Without that there is not assumption. I’m not saying you have to believe anything that I’m telling. But you see yourself. But if you have previous ideas, the fifteenth century ideas or something like that, that is not improved to you. Today I’m sitting before you, isn’t it? Forget those fifteenth century things. Just now you should know that I’m sitting before you to show you something, which you see yourself.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: What is it? What do you suggest? What is he suggesting?

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Yes. I mean, you see, you people are – that is one thing about the West – too much rumbling into useless discussion. You see, even in Sahaja Yoga, they get realization and Indian, you see, if he gets a realization, he just get into it, He enjoys it. But a Western man, you see, he gets realization, then he starts thinking about it, he goes into this, and goes. Oh, God, he is such a headache to himself.

Shri Mataji: No, no, please, please. Now, Colleen, don’t handle it. Please, sit down. Please, sit down. I’ll handle the situation. No, please don’t. You are not to handle the situation. These are not Sahaja yogis. You see, these are come for the first time. You must know that. They don’t understand the importance. So you don’t say anything to them, ha? Please.

Seeker 4: By going from the left-hand side, to the right side whatever the emotions and intuition, that is the left side of the body. And then left side of the brain and what does we next do [unclear] that more to go the right side.

Shri Mataji: He’s got it. He’s got it. He’s got it.

Seeker 4: [Unclear]

Shri Mataji: He’s got it.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR]

Shri Mataji: Correct.

Seeker 4: [UNCLEAR] and therefore more rational.

Shri Mataji: Very good. He’s understood it better, Correct. But you don’t worry about these things, my children. You don’t worry. You see, we should see it, we should get it, we should become that, and experiment it. All right? That’s what is there, you see, is a thing to be seen. It’s nothing written in the book or some theory being propounded. I’m saying, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating of it.” But, say, if I’ve done the cooking also, as a Mother has done it, no doubt, but if you are not hungry you will go on asking Me, “From where did You get it? From which supermarket?” That’s true. All right. I understand that. But if you are hungry, you’ll just get to it. You’ll get it, I tell you. That’s how it is.

I was traveling to America first and luckily I went to “Penang” and there’s a very famous doctor Yang, very famous doctor. And he heard about my coming, you see. I was having my lunch. And it was a split-level area where I was sitting and I was eating my lunch. He came and sat down. He said, “I’m Doctor Yang. Mother, I’ve come.” I said “Really?” I left my lunch. I came down. So, my hostess has said, “What is it? You left your lunch?” I said, “My child has come now, finished, done. I’ve taken my lunch.” He got it. He got it in a minute. It is, it is that. What I’m saying is the quality, is that. That is the quality. And it’s your own. You see, just see the common sense. Use your common sense. See, there is some chocolate here, all right? It’s free for you. If you want to have it, you’ll have it. Will you argue? But I find that there is diamond. And yet not diamond but a diamond which is invaluable. People will start coming from Australia. Will they argue? I say that, today it is there. Better have it. If you are fortunate, you will get it. Is for you to see the fortunes.

Seeker 3: And then listening, they say when it happens, it happens. And we don’t have any control over the happenings. It’s God’s grace, and how to get it, well, that’s the point.

Shri Mataji: He’s very right person, Typical Indian. That’s the difference, Tremendous. Yeah. That is the vibrations of the country of such. I must say I’m sorry but it is. We have to ask, “How? Mother, let’s have it.” What important thing is that by which we get it. “Let’s have it, Mother.” All right? I’m requesting you just to have it, can you imagine? Settle down your minds. “Why I ask questions?” Because this silly mind is like a mad horse, you see. It will start driving you. “Oh, you didn’t ask this important question.” That’s why I said it. But there is nothing more important than becoming yourself. For this you don’t need any education. Nothing. You have to just feel it from your heart that you have to have it. You’ll understand it in no time as soon as you have it. That’s what it is. It’s simple.

We have to reconcile ourselves to one thing, we have not found it so far. With all our thinking and dogmas and arguments, and everything that we have done we have not yet found out the solution. If Mother says so, let’s find out.

First thing is to experience yourself not by anybody else telling you. Just experience. You must change the role now. Then you will understand. There is no parliament going on here. All right? Like you can ask that I am responsible, that you have elected me. No, it’s not that. There is somebody who is giving you something as a present. Something who loves you very much has cooked for you a beautiful meal and is requesting you to have it. It’s very different. You change your role and you will get it. That’s the different point. Because we have never been loved that much so far. We have never been cared that much. We have lost our self-esteem. Nobody has thought of us that way. Change that role, for you must know that God who has created us is love and affection, and compassion. He is the ocean of love. And all that is going to work for you. Why worry? It is His job, He is going to do for you. Just leave it into His hands. Let’s see, if it works out. All right? Can we do it that?

Now, how do we do it, it’s the best point, which he has asked the question. Is there, get to the point. How do we do it? Very simple. As I have told you, these fingers are representing all our centers. So we have to get our centers ignited. How we do enlighten this light? Is bringing an enlightened thing near it and it enlightens, Simple. The light is its own, the power its own, the whole oil is its own, everything is its own. Only one light comes near it, which is enlightened and enlightens it. That’s all.

Just put your hands towards me like this, Simple. Please, take out your shoes, because shoes sometimes obstruct the flow, that’s all. Just put your feet straight on the ground. Just for a while. Just touching the ground will help you. It’s very simple. Take out your shoes, please, all of you. Will you please take out this?

Seeker 3: I won’t be able. I will get a problem.

Shri Mataji: Ha? You won’t be able to? Please, take out. Please, take out, for five minutes. It’s not much. The virtuous understand things better, faster as it is said. These munis can understand. In the same way, try to understand it more than repelling it. It’s for your good. Just put your hands towards me just like that. Just like that. Now, close your eyes. I give explanation for whatever I tell you because without explanation you’ll ask the question, “Why to close your eyes?” Because, when the Kundalini rises, in this center of Agnya, then there’s a dilatation of the pupil, and to make the flow all right you better keep your eyes shut. There’s no hypnosis on. Please, keep just your eyes and tell your mind that, “You have never helped me so far. Now please, for Heaven’s sake, keep quiet.” Tell your mind that, “You have not helped me so far. Let me keep quiet within myself.” Keep your eyes shut and watch your thoughts. As soon as the Kundalini will cross this point you will find you are blank but you are aware, absolutely aware. You are thoughtless but you are aware. And when the Kundalini pierces this point you will find a cool breeze will start flowing towards you.

Some of you may be already awakened people. Please put both the hands straight on the ground. Must have self-esteem, must have self-respect, and of all the things is love for yourself. You are doing it because you have to love yourself. Not to condemn yourself anymore. Some people are having a fashion of condemning oneself, its feeling guilty business. One must know that He is the ocean of compassion and He is the ocean of cleansing. There is nothing that He cannot cleanse.