Talk to Sahaja Yogis: Establishing your Marriage

Chelsham Road Ashram, London (England)

1981-08-09 1 Establishing the Marriage 1, 21'
Download video (standard quality): Transcribe/Translate oTranscribe


Talk to yogis. Chelsham ashram, London (UK), 9 August 1981.

God is so kind, Who is bliss, Who is joy, Who has created this whole universe so beautifully. They miss completely because they do not know what is auspiciousness is. Auspiciousness comes from pure heart. With your pure heart, then it works faster that’s why I asked for these children forward. You can sit with them along. Then auspiciousness also comes from surrendering, who are surrendered. Those who are surrendered to the power of Sahaja Yoga, Sahaja Yoga is a system by which you really suck in God’s grace. That you know for definite. So for the people who are surrendered absolutely, through their body, their mind and their intellect, they are the people who bring in the auspiciousness, those who try to stand out with their illusions – the so called – are [obstructed ?].

If you realize the importance of auspiciousness in married life – in Sahaja Yoga, you would have respect for that married life, praise for that married life – in relation to Sahaja Yoga, of course, no doubt.

So after marriage one has to know that you have been married in My place. It’s something so [great ?] – very [great ?], I mean, out of question for you anyone who has done no punyas [– good deeds – ed.], a special place, I think so that it could happen that such a marriage could happen. All right.

But with all that understanding, we have to understand our background. Unless and until you understand your background, you can never build a real Sahaja Yoga marriage. This is your only other job. Background must be understood – both backgrounds [must come in ?] and get married. You are all western, all of you are mostly western. And the western people have, I don’t know what sort of ideas – but surrounding the atmosphere I am sure there are entities, bhoots [–spirits – ed] who are anti-marriage. Of that I am very sure [so to say ?]. I mean – anybody who comes to this place can break his marriage; I mean anybody can come from anywhere, even from Timbuktu. So, it is the bhoots that give ideas about marriage. There are anti-marriage bhoots here, so you have to be careful. Absolutely anti marriage. And under these circumstances marriages cannot work out. Unless and until you have your own opinion about it, you have your own personality about it and the way you want to work it out. So, Sahaja yogis, who are getting married have a special responsibility to behave in such a way that they stabilize marriages in this country. Where it is absolutely taken out of the [ crook ?], I told you. For example you tell anybody here that I’m arranging your marriage, immediately the brain goes like – just like [match ?] – go mad. It is really, I tell you, it’s so bizarre, they go mad. I don’t know, for them marriage is some sort of a [ritual ??] or I don’t know what sort of an idea they have… And they do not understand that they are getting married now. I must tell myself that I have to behave Myself to make the marriage successful. And some of them get possessed. And sensible people get possessed and they start behaving in such a manner that marriage can never come.

I give you a case of someone whose marriage was this year. As soon as the marriage was declared, the person became so possessed that in this person lost all his sweetness, everything, all the beauty and started misbehaving. [Altogether ?]. I mean, see, the person sees those who are [attacking ?]. Can happen. Because of this horrible atmosphere in which we live we have to understand that you must learn to be sweet before marriage. If you are not sweet in the beginning if the marriage is spoiled, is very difficult to establish it. It’s like the [mood ?] getting stopped. In the beginning only you have to be very careful, to be [experts to do that ?] that’s the conclusion. But in the beginning only the brains becomes absolutely like a type of mad person.

Now a simple example is that when I fix the marriage I have to fix one [wing ?] because I am not a church. Which is a dead thing you can go any time, the priest is there, that’s a lamp post upon you. Priest is nothing but a lamp post. Say a lamp post can marry you whenever you like, but not Me. There’s a living God which has to marry you a living [wing ?] and whatever time suits you that’s the time you are going to get married, that’s all. You are not going to marry according to your choice, but this ego is so subtle, that, “Oh! No choice was given.”

And marriages are living things in Sahaja Yoga. So, they will take place within a second. Just now I can give a marriage – within a second. You could be happy about it, you could be unhappy about it, whatever you may be. That’s your own choice. But you must know that this is Sahaja Yoga marriage – in a second the marriage has to be settled. “I was not given time, I should have had six months.” What do you do six months? Only last day you run about. Six months you brood and last day you run about. Just see yourself what do you do six months?

You don’t do anything; this must be a reality. I mean that’s why Gregoire had to hurry the last minutes for a wedding – always. What do you do for six months – see? If you have no problem of security as the Queen had (Laughter) nothing is to be done. It’s only the last two three days you have to arrange everything, you see? It is something nearer, that the marriage party does not do anything, the husband and wife don’t need much arranging. It’s like the flower that grows. It doesn’t prepare – it’s ready. So, one has to understand that marriage must take place in a living way in Sahaja Yoga and this match thing, as I told them must be brought right.

Now in selecting women you have to understand that – all men. You select the person – choice is the curse of ego. Ego plays because of choice. I mean, you can have choice of everything otherwise, you can have another kind of a chandelier, you can have that, that, that. Material things you can have. Then you will say I will have a…I must have a nose of an [Arab ?]. There’s no choice. And that’s why the choice part of a wife which you have too much, you see – where you do the choicing [ thing ?] out of thousands of experience say, this, that and then you will choose someone – very grateful. And this style you get married and that style you go and divorce. In the countries where there is no choice people don’t divorce, must be something different – [futuristic ?].

The system is different, that’s [such ?]. And is more successful when there is no choice at all. I mean, you know in India people don’t even see the brides before – at all. At all. They marry, they are married for ages, the photographs are there, their children see, their grand children see, their great grand children see, no divorce. And here all you made the choice – this thing, that thing – and you’re out for a divorce. Divorce is the first thing that comes before marriage. (Laughter) It is stupidity. Complete stupidity of the brain, you must understand and that’s why you people have ruined your families, ruined your houses, ruined every relationship.

Is a thing to be enjoyed and understood. After marriage you must know that you must share other Sahaja yogis in your marriage. It is not a marriage of the old times. That’s why I would like all the old Johnnies, who are married, to marry again. It’s better. So they change their ideas. There is no sort of a life left for a Sahaja yogi, because it’s hardly four five years when you have to work hard on your own. There isn’t much time. Like we have our own private life, we go for a honey moon and this – nonsense. Or we are sort of such, “Oh, we should have our private lives, this…. We are husband and wife.” That’s not allowed in Sahaja Yoga.

That I like the way Catherine says – I mean, it was really good for her to face in the way that she meets her husband. She said, “Mother, no – Gregoire is going with You to America, I mean, I take [humans ?] different, but – (Laughter) Her bravery and her generosity and understanding of the importance of Sahaja Yoga really made Me feel very happy. So, this self-centeredness must be given up completely. Today by those who were married before or are marrying today. That we are going to dedicate our lives in every way to Sahaja Yoga. You must learn to share everything of Sahaja Yoga. It’s the greatest estate people have in Sahaja Yog is to say, now we are married so let’s have some nice [INAUDIBLE].

I would say [Kuli ?], when he got married – where is he? He’s not here. It’s just difficult. When he got married, he was very sensible and he said that, “What is after all honeymoon for me, Mother is going, so I am going with Her to [accept Her plan for buying a school ??].” But the wife didn’t understand that time and that’s how the marriage… He is too much of a Sahaja yogi and she didn’t understand and he’s just to think that way – it’s correct, the way he moves was correct, I would say. What can you do? But now, if the wife realizes that Sahaja Yoga comes first and Sahaja yogis come first, then only such marriages will be successful. This marriage is for Sahaja, not for personal life. Anybody has such ideas should know it is not for personal life. It is for consolidating Sahaja Yoga, from the first day to the last. If you are not of that mind, you are just marrying here because it’s cheaper than in the church – it’s better you do it yourself. There’s no different mission of such marriage. This is not to be used for Sahaja Yoga, [ ???]. Such people got [a deeper decline ?]. Only you will enjoy your marriages in Sahaja Yoga when you will dedicate more for Sahaja Yoga. And absolutely.

Otherwise people do wrong, so clear out your ideas – absolutely. I would say Maureen and husband are [self independent ?]. And Gregoire and his wife are sensible. And all of you who are being married in Sahaja Yoga, all of you should come to make a beautiful life. [Regina ?] and Pat are beautiful. Beautiful. By working for Sahaja Yoga, otherwise you are not going to enjoy. I am telling you, you’ll have problems, you’ll have problems, and I will never be able to solve.

And there’s no divorce in Sahaja Yoga. If you don’t want to live with your wife, you can get out. There’s nothing like divorce for us. It’s nonsense. By divorcing you create orphanages of ten old men and ten old women who sit somewhere, and the children somewhere else. So, after Sahaja Yoga marriage there is no question of divorce. You go out of the [SUBTLE?]. No question. Try to improve, try to improve. As you improve your Kundalini improves your marriage. Work on it. Give up your self centered ideas also, keeping to your self – We must tell you, you cannot. Now you are in Sahaja Yoga, you have to dedicate yourself. I should have asked you to take Sanyasa [–give up everything – ed]. Then what about marriage? Take sanyasa! Only eat once. Oh, one can do that job. But this normal life, you have to take to it and you should bow for it, otherwise you can never be useful.

Now, one must understand that you can be attacked. Both can be attacked or a wife can be attacked, or a husband can be attacked by negativity. And you will have these ideas: Oh, we must reserve ourselves. Nothing like reservation any more now. You will be blessed very much. Even moneywise in every way, Gruha Lakshmi [–wife- ed] will be there. But you should be a Gruha Lakshmi also. As like in olden days in India women used to tell their husbands to go to war. And don’t come back. If you have not won the war I don’t want to see your face.

They used to cut their fingers and the blood of their fingers is there to give a mark on [the killer ?]. Like that, the [war ?] on and these cannot [oppose ?] to have such people who have come here to enjoy only re-married life, they can go to Nagpur. (Laughter) Stay forever. Lamp posts are they. These are all lamp posts you see – registration office – or we can call it the [INAUDIBLE ?].

So, only with this vow you should enjoy the special place that Mother has given us. It’s special occasion. That we are all [expressing ?] these great marriage [in celibacy ?]. So we have now I think 17 couples now. (Laughter)

This is the [ pang ?] of the [ pang ?]. [UNCLEAR] So first of all I want to give presents to the brides, who are here. I gave it to some brides the other day. Where are they? I gave it to some brides.

Yogi: [ ?? ]

Shri Mataji: All right.

So, you should give saris to her, is very personal now. So, I would request the boys to go out or to better I give you the [ girls ?] and you go out and mix it up with water and you prepare it in a big glass. All right? And where are the bridegrooms? Let them be seated on different chairs. All the bridegrooms…ha, ha…the [ ? ] is wearing ordinary dresses – something very ordinary – and you can just have a towel or something ‘round. No, no, no. Your face gets spoiled very badly, you see. You have [redumptions ?]. (Laughter)

I would say that if you want to keep it as a mark of your marriage [ ?]. All right. It’s all right. So, now you all sit down outside and just meditate. Now it’s better.

(Shri Mataji speaks and gives indications to the yogis.)

So, there is a… give us a sari… white sari.

I will prepare something to wear this much [UNCLEAR] you can [UNCLEAR]. (Laughter)

You can take this now. That. You can take it. No, no, no. Any oil or… [ ? in the hair ?]. Or what oil?