Talk to Sahaja Yogis, New Delhi, India, 20-02-1982

Just see the answer, because they have full faith in God, see they have full trust in [Unclear], so they are not worried about their wives what will happen to them or wives are not worried about them. The rest of it, you people worry about husbands, right?, you cannot conceive, doesn’t come into our heads.

Sahaja Yogi: We will leave rest to Mataji.

Sahaja Yogi: Everything.

See na, see the innocence, can you see the innocence, can you understand that.

Sahaja Yogi: Then nothing happens.

See.

Sahaja Yogi: Joyous and joyous.

Nothing happens, there is joy, leave everything to Mother.

Sahaja Yogi: Kahat kaabir aanda mayo (en – Kabeer says to be in joyous state)

Now listen to that, So, simple they are, they are so simple they won’t understand this. It is not proper for me to say anything in their presence really, they still cannot see things you know, after all I have said it they are so simple they can’t see through the things, now these two ladies are sitting here where are their husbands? They have been sleeping in my room for the last three days. They have got their children, nothing they are doing, this is something I just can’t understand, all these things you have to learn in this lifetime. They have to learn from you some things, but you have to also learn some things.

Look at the innocence, see them, nothing goes into their heads, like the big problem, we had a seminar in, same seminar you are telling. Where was that? Paris,  same seminar, Mr Regis the great! you see he is a very big Englishman, he went down there, and he was fighting with Marie where will my wife sleep, what will happen to her, this thing that thing, and poor Chaya when she came obnoxious, she was so shocked, she came and told me “Mother, I don’t know what sort of a husband is this?, he is making such an ado out of it ,I am feeling worst embarrassed. I sleep at your feet, what is there”, and so, she couldn’t understand this man, why he is talking like that. She went and told Marie, you see, just forget my husband, he talks nonsense she just couldn’t understand what the matter with this man, where will she sleep, where will she have room and all that and Marie was blasting.

First this Marie used to support him because he speaks French you see. So, Marie used to say “Mother no no, you know, he is very good, and we French are like that, we speak like that to each other, we understand each other these things” after that she sat down like this, and she said to me. “Mother i must say this Chaya, what must have she have done in her last time to be married to a man like this”.

After that she never took his side, always she used to come and tell me, that Chaya told me that he is such a funny man, she wants as soon as he comes into the room, I should enter into the room, she says I feel shy, I mean, will anyone do like this?

Did you understand anything, they have no understanding of this nonsense.

You will feel shy you see to do that, you really feel shy, I mean there is something like shyness, she said I find it impossible you know to live with this man, I mean I feel very shy, and I feel very embarrassed. She wanted to see some nice film, she wanted to see, so this fellow said no you should only see it with me, so she said but you are not coming if you come, I won’t go together.

He couldn’t bear her going with other friends, can you imagine, such a jealous pot, he didn’t understand that she was going with her female friends. I mean we are not complicated; in same way you get rid of your complications.

Like Hoolie got married, I mean they must have one room that’s important and they come out fighting both of them, no one can sit there, in that Brompton squares can you imagine that? such a supposed to be a posh place. Once I was there, in evening time, who was with me that day? None of you, we came out of that place, from Brompton square, about 12 o clock in the night we were going back, and one girl and one boy came out, girl and boy, quite old I would say. The boy was 25 the girl was 22 or something, he was pulling her by her hair and she was beating him, I said “What is this going on”?  She said we are married, I said “Really”? 

If they are married then then they are supposed to fight when they are not married, they are supposed to love some funny chunks, find the absurdity?

So, you get out of this nonsense, this kind of madness is not good, if men do like this.

You see, Chaya told me such a hen-pecked husband. This is we call as hen-pecked, who runs after the wife all the time, looks funny you know, must have your self-respect.

So, one must develop a new style it’s an education, it’s an education, the women must be together, men must be together. it’s an education,  we too have some men like that, some are like that still it’s very funny everybody laughs at them, very embarrassed, the husband running after the wife, the wife running after then husband it’s a embarrassment, I mean in you are in any case married what is there to run after?, too much ado of the wife is very embarrassing or of the husband also is  very embarrassing, live like normal people now you have come on a tour, It’s not a honeymoon trip, not at all a honeymoon trip, it’s a trip for education. Education, how to live with this group, how to live with each other, with others only. Did you bring it? (to a Yogi).

Sahaja Yogi: yes, got it, have made the arrangements there.

So, this is it. Now for marriage, no [Unclear], do not take any frantic steps,

marriage should be done in a very normal way, there should be no franticness, take it easy, nothing has to be done extraordinary. If you like somebody, you can have the marriage, if you don’t get married this year it doesn’t mean you won’t get married next year. So don’t misunderstand, and Sahaja Yoga is a training, and you have to be patient, 

When you have come here, did not come here just to go around like tourist or to save your money you have come in down here, you have come here to educate, the aspects which are not of use for you.

Sahaja Yogi: [Unclear]

Where to sit down, men on this side ladies on that side.

Sahaja Yogi: We will make 4 groups. 

Make 4 groups, 2 groups of women and 2 groups of men.

Sahaja Yogi: [Unclear]

So, start from there, give it first to the ladies first, traditional English way.

Sahaja Yogi: Ladies first. In India, always ladies first.

What India?  How? Never, Never, no women will eat before their husband has eaten, never.

Sahaja Yogi: So, ladies are requested to make 2 groups.

Never, on the contrary, men are fed first of all, they like to pamper their husbands, their husbands’ friends [Unclear], it’s a fact, women will never eat even if you force them.

Sahaja Yogi: Women will not take food unless her husband takes food, she will take after

Will any women eat food before the husband? Unless until all the men folk haven not eaten, the women won’t eat.

Sahaja Yogi: First husband then wife, men and children [Unclear]

Men and children, when they have all eaten the food then the women will sit down and eat.

Sahaja Yogi: She eats alone.

She eats alone, sometimes she is alone, so she eats alone, But there are many women also like this, but here once i told only, you remember, we told some one that German girl, she came like Hitler on us. You remember, you remember? (to a Yogi)

I told her that you better feed these men they have to go out then you take later on and she became just like Hitler, can you believe it? so angry with me for this, I just didn’t know that I have said something very wrong, we all do it all the time in India, sometimes I feel what’s the matter? We never feel we are oppressed, or anybody is dominating us nothing of that kind, how are they dominating? I mean we are sensible people, and we can look after them, we have to look after them, we are in charge of them. Ya that’s what we think.

How do you think like that? (to a Yogi)

Sahaja Yogi: Because they haven’t got the ego, we Europeans have got ego, they have to show they are not in-charge of them, both of them.

No, no but the women you see will fight with the husband, why didn’t you eat well?, you must eat well have this food, if he goes away without food then she won’t eat the whole day, you must have your food, she will prepare his bath she will do everything, she will look after him like a child she treats the husband.

Sahaja Yogi: It is degrading for you for western women.

It is very upgrading, for us it is upgrading, why should it be degrading.

Sahaja Yogi: Because they think, they are like that.

Ego, Ego, I mean, you see.

Sahaja Yogi: Even she gives bath.

Look, patience, even she gives bath.  

Sahaja Yogi: This is my experience. Once in a week.

Just see that, confessions coming forward, I must say I have spoilt my husband completely,

My daughter says you have really ruined him, and he himself says I am so ruined. When I am not there he is shouting at the servants. He is shouting at everyone, they say if you are not there, we are not going to stay in your house, he says nothing is all right, this is wrong, that is wrong. he will throw his shirt, this side throw that, really spoilt and they also straight forward walk home, they don’t go here and there, they look forward, but not this way, you see, it’s very different.

I think the training is different, your parents would have been like this, grandparents would have been like this, you are like this, but our parents have been like the other way around, so we have learnt from them, it doesn’t go into our heads all these things, I mean if my husband says you come and eat food with me, supposing and there  are 5 – 6 guests are sitting and I say, who will make the rotis now you are asking me to sit down, he says no no it’s alright  you just make it and bring it along. I’ll say now it will become cold, it’s alright it doesn’t matter, what is there we will all eat together. He will force on me that we should eat together, and I will go saying all the time “No no no, let me prepare it”.

Did you get? Start serving the juice. (to Yogi’s)

Sahaja Yogi: Ladies, please stand up, go there and sit there in 2 groups

It’s my experience, In America I have decided that western ladies should take first, I don’t want to face the warships.

[Unclear].