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Advice To Women, Shri Vishnu 1982-09-27
Shri Mataji: A real Lakshmi.
Sahaja Yogini: Hum.
Shri Mataji: Innocence, just see the innocence of this, it has such innocence.
Sahaja Yogini: This is in Portugal Mother, just before the-
Shri Mataji: Ah, this is a sanyasi, really, I tell you. Now the camera is taking the freshness, it is remarkable.
I must say the camera is great.
Sahaja Yogi: I guess the English have a good camera [Inaudible] [Laughter]
Shri Mataji: Or the cameraman.
Sahaja Yogi: The film was good.
Shri Mataji: Or you can say the film was good, alright. It’s alright up to that point.
Sahaja Yogi: [Inaudible] it’s the actor who was great.
[Shri Mataji is laughing.]
Shri Mataji: Now this is in the West.
Sahaja Yogi: Majorca.
Shri Mataji: Now, the people, the women are intelligent- and the women of the West being intelligent and educated, have developed a kind of a very complex situation about themselves. Sahaja Yogi: They also can earn money Mother.
Shri Mataji: Yes, and also they’re handling their own money.
These things have made them, you see, a kind of a man without the manliness. And that’s why their whole behaviour becomes extremely odd, sometimes I just don’t understand.
But now I’ve started understanding; it’s the way they are women, they want to dominate men. But they don’t understand by dominating, you cannot create good relationship.
Now, to dominate men, one way could be just to go on, just behaving like a man, you see, pushing you through and all that, saying: “Don’t do this, I don’t like this, it’s not good, that is not good”. But that’s not so sophisticated.
So the other way is to all the time talk about your miseries, you see, of your past, “I’m like this, this is wrong with me ” all the time she’s sick, all the time she’s miserable, all the time she’s insecure. All the time, she’s oh, this thing she needs her husband, she wants the attention of the husband, her husband must look after her. Ultimately, I think, the husband must be getting fed up and running away from the wives and must- that’s why the prostitution is so strong; cause at least, prostitutes try to please the husband and not to make trouble because she has to earn her living, you see.
And I think it’s just the other way round in India. The men will fuss, the man will say: “This is not good. ” The men will say: “We are sick and you must look after me” and all that. They don’t say that: “We have to look after you.” They say that: “You have to look after us”. And the women think that because they are their wives, they are the shaktis, so they have to bear it upon themselves and give them the joy.
Now the women here have another very bad capacity, I’ve seen that, in Sahaja Yoga, I’ve seen it, that they always say that the negativity attack, all the time, for any reason, night and day. Like just now, somebody told me that when you have a child, you feel more attacked by negativity because you are left out alone. Imagine! When you have a child you have such a great company of a child! I mean for an Indian mother, as soon as she’s pregnant, she feels the happiness of the child. Then the child is born, she feels the company of the child. I mean for her nothing more is needed than that her own child is there. And then, through her child she learns how to love other children.
But even when the children are born they put the same nonsense, you know, on the children. “Oh how bad is the husband, he’s done so much to me and how bad is this world, how bad was my mother doing this to me”. And this is how they try to dominate the child and make that child absolutely miserable. That’s how we call them “Les misérables”, from where it has come the source of this feeling?
Now if they are uneducated they are even worse, because they have a complex. If they are less intelligent, other problem. They try to play all dirty tricks with the husband, with other people. If the husband has any relationship with anyone, they don’t like it, it’s most of the time that they don’t like it, like friendship or if the husband wants to talk to other men, not women, of course, women you can have objections, but I can’t understand if has friends, they don’t like the friends of the husband to come in their house. The other way round in India. The husband’s friends are very much welcomed, looked after by the wife, there’s a sweet relationship between them and they call then the sister-in-law and it’s very sweet, you see.
But here, it’s just the other way round. They just abhor all the relations of the husband. And this is something most surprising that husband is not saying: “All these relations are part and parcel of me.” And he is sort of obliged to them or related to them or he’s attached to them. And if she really loves the husband, then she should accept all the relationship also.
Then all their life, you see, they have lived like this by making, I would say, a show that they are miserable. And they continue with it after their marriage.
And with Sahaja Yoga also I have seen the way they behave towards any calamity. An Indian woman will stand. She is the one who stands up at the time of calamity otherwise she will not show, she is not on the scene. Nobody will know there is a woman in there, except for the fragrance in the house that there is a woman working. She is not the one who talks first. For example, if Me and my husband are sitting and there is an interviewer, he will say that this woman is deaf and dumb, she doesn’t talk. You see, really, many people who have seen us together, like they were also saying “We never knew about you, you see your husband never said a word about you.” You see, like that. It is very common the woman will just keep outside. People did not know that I could be Mataji because those who had known Me otherwise had never seen Me talking because you are not supposed to talk, when your husband is talking you keep quiet.
Here is the other way round. If there is an interviewer, the woman will talk first. The man will be sitting like a beaten-up mouse, you see, looking around and opening his mouth a little to say something. And the aggression of these women is very subtle, you see. They will come up with such sinister questions. Also I have seen that this question has a very sting in it. Anything they say, it has a sting and then you get fed up of such a person and that’s why there are divorces.
This is – the men of the West are much better, I can tell you this much, much better than Indian men. They are not dominating, they understand the value of women, they have given so much freedom to them, they have given them so much prestige and honour and [UNCLEAR]. But if you give something to women, they should be capable of bearing it out, isn’t it? They should be capable of bearing it out. What’s the use giving everything equal to them if they have no capacity to bear it? That’s why it’s such an imbalance I find for women, the way they are sinister about the whole life. Life beautiful, it’s joy, happiness, wisdom. Morning till evening, if you go on making somebody miserable, then you are against life, you are against God. This they must realize. The whole thing is, the whole idea is that they have got equality without achieving or evolving themselves up to that point.
Like you can say the Arabs, they got the Cadillacs. First, they were on camels or on the donkeys and they became into Arabs, rich Arabs and they had Cadillacs. Now by sitting in the Cadillacs you don’t become a cultured man you see. In the same way, if the women are suddenly made to feel: ‘Oh they are equals’, ‘this that’ – they haven’t developed that panache, as you say. In your language it’s ‘panache’. They haven’t developed that sophistication. So the inferiority works out and they go on pinching the man all the time, everyone. And the tongue also doesn’t have that sweetness.
But in our Sahaja Yoga we have seen some very good Sahaja Yoginis, who are really senior women, I would suggest. You can see Genevieve, solid woman she is, very solid. And she understands very well things and she is very solid. You can say Mahatma. She’s a good wife, all right, she makes her husband happy.
Here we have [name?] these people have that sweetness about their husbands. I have never seen them telling Me about their miseries or anything about their past, anything, never, never! Always they said: “We were happily married”, even [name?] told Me she was happily married, her husband was a Russian. She had a problem because of the war, but she never said that: “My husband made me miserable” or this thing, that, she never, I have never heard her saying like that. And even if that is the case or something is there, you should keep happy.
Even if say, your husband is a bad man, he is not a Sahaja Yogi, you should keep happy. In Sahaja Yoga it is compulsory that you should be happy, you should be joyous, and you have to be joy-giving. There is no place for people who are miserable. If they try to go on with it, they will have to go out of Sahaja Yoga. Take it from me. All of them will be thrown out. If you do not want to come up, then you are thrown out. So it’s a challenge for all the Sahaj Yoginis in the West that you must be joyous. You must be happy too.
Now, if there is any case like this, they build up their ego very subtly. Now if you just say that: “No, that’s not going to happen.” Immediately they start crying with me you know, they are upset. Because men don’t know what to do, you know. Men don’t know what to do because these have built up their own images and they want to do and if men see something more than they do and they say that: “Do this, this will be better”, they are finished that: “Acha, because it’s not done, I get upset.” they will get identified with these things.
So you can see that they are egoistical. You cannot say that they are left-sided but they are egoistic. And in this ego there is a sinister attitude by which they make the men and the women and the children miserable.
So this must be stopped now. Any more of this misery is to be stopped in the West. Nothing. You are not miserable. What this misery you have got? You should go and see the women of India who are smiling and laughing. They have children to look after, they have 10, 11, 12 children to look after. They have no money. Early in the morning 4 o’clock, they have to get up. They get baths because of traditions of Indians. They cannot laze out like this you see. And then, they go to the well, fill the water, bring it home. You see them walking, beautiful; you see their faces shining, that’s it. They come home, put the food down there, slowly wake up their husbands, you see. Put things for his bath, look after their children, clean the house. By the time the children are up, they see the clean house. You should see how much they work hard, you see and you will not know that they are working. I have seen these silently. I have seen how these women used to cook. Did you ever hear anybody outside? As soon as people are coming, they are serving, they are looking after them, they do- they are all intelligent. Uma is an income tax officer, do you know that? Uma is an income tax officer, they are officers. But how do they behave? Have you ever seen them anywhere, in any way asserting themselves, they are?
In India education is very strong. Most of the girls in India are at least graduates, at least. But there’s no ego about it, they understand their position as a wife and as a woman. And they know that they are the ones who are the source of joy. And they have to live that joy. Here the women don’t understand how much they can give. After all your Mother is a woman and if she can give so much joy why can’t you give joy to others? And this is what it is and I don’t understand that such a great potential, such a great source is just cut, just cut. That’s why you see is the motherhood is lacking. Nothing else but the motherhood.
Indians are all right, nothing wrong with that, it’s the mother and that’s what even a little child in India, you see, you take our Anupama, is hardly now six years of age. She came up, she came into my ears now “Who is this lady here sitting, Nani?” I said her name is Macchindernath. “Ah! This is Macchindernath.” She is a 6 years old girl, she does not know how to carry, you remember? She took the plate together, then she will give him something to eat. If you give, if you have any child, bring it home, these two girls will look after her, give food to her: “You want this? All right, have it.” They will look after. They are just all the time nursing the children. Even to the grandfather: “Now can I feed you?” to the grandfather!
Mataji: Grandmother of course, but to the grandfather: “Can I feed you? Would you like to have this?” I see, I take my bath and then come out, she is there with the powder, to pickle up my feet you see, and to wipe up the towels. All the time they are running up and down. Just you know, you can’t imagine you know how motherly they are to Me. To Me they are motherly, to their grandfather they are motherly.
Early in the morning, you see this Tuni was about two and half years, she was very small. So early in the morning, she used to come to see the grandfather sitting. She would go in the room, take his newspaper and used to walk- just hardly used to walk, you see- and his spectacles and bring the paper.
What does it take? But if the attention is all the time to extract other’s attention, this comes from some sort of a very sinister attitude. It is very repulsive. It is not that I have seen once but when I talk to them and all that, I really feel very disgusted sometimes. I feel that: “Oh God, these women when they marry, what will happen?” And when they marry, I have seen.
And that’s why the men here don’t know what to do. You see if you have any problem, a woman has to work and not only there, but there. Indian women are known for their great courage.
Like when the war started, in India, a woman who was a widow and a queen, she rode on a horse herself. She tied up her a sari and all that, took her child at the back, of course she was the queen, and jumped from the fortress about 100 feet down and she fought the British. She fought the British, she died of course, the British killed her. But the British has himself, the General wrote that: “We won the battle but the victory and the glory was that of Jhansi Ki Rani.” See, not only that she, but there were many women like that, one better than the other. But they would only show up when there is a calamity. When it reaches to the cusp of just drop, that time they come. Otherwise they are quiet. You see, that kind of thing that should be in a womanhood. I mean, one better than the other. If I have to tell you about Indian women, I’ll have to give a big lecture, really big. And you have seen how they behave, how dignified, how sweet they are.
Sahaja Yogi: Nowhere in the world, Mother. Similar thing, nowhere in the world, Mother.
Shri Mataji: I must say my hats off to Indian women. I mean it. They have matured in the womanhood, in the best possible way with potential of the human, potential of humanity. They have worked so hard and if you remember, you were there I think. There was a little girl who was married and she invited us for breakfast. Do you remember? Once, she invited us for breakfast, about three years back. You see, little one very small and we had gone to a canal, and she said: “Tomorrow Mother you come and have breakfast at my place.” I said: “No, it’s too much, we are so many people, about 35 people, how will you give us?” Apart from that, the other Indians were also there. “Oh, I’ll have it.”
When we went there she gave us such a nice breakfast. And all the neighbouring women you see, they got up at 4o’clock and did their cooking and all of them in very great joy, you see. That motherliness you see, and they were so enamoured about it and I- It’ s called fondness in India, there’s no word for joy, there’s no words for different joys but this fondness of feeding. And they were feeling obliged, you see, that we were eating and I ate and ate. I said: “Oh, I’m too full I can’t eat this time.” So they said: “Mother, you didn’t like anything or what?” So embarrassed [?] Now, what to do.
Sahaja Yogi: Yes Mother
Shri Mataji: And giving and giving and doing. They were so sweet, and so many! I think I told them 35, there were 50. Arranged like that also! And in a small little house, there are engines in front of the thing. You were there? Never? How did you eat? Really silently, really silently. So, if you see any – because of the efficiency, you see, of love, it’s so sweet. And little, little things they do. It is so much energy giving, so nice. And this time I am going to write even to Pune’s ladies that they should arrange our food, not in the Rajvadi Karyalaya but they will arrange and you see how they will arrange: they’ll get the best vegetables of the market, the best chickens of the market, the best of everything, and do the best that they can, put all their heart into it. “The saints are coming to our house. The saints are coming to our house.” The beauty, you see, is this.
And despite that many people think that Indian women are very much suppressed because of their goodness. They don’t mind, they say: “Our goodness cannot be suppressed.” Our goodness is a thing that is important than suppression and oppression and all that. They don’t take to all this nonsensical ideas no. It’s so nice and then the husband feels attached. You see My daughter now she receives her husband’s phone every- practically every day from South. When Aradhana came, My husband came from India. I mean, you see they miss, look at my husband. He is an old man of 63 years. But if it is left to him, he will telephone Me ten times. I tell him: “Don’t telephone all the time” but he’ll go on telephoning.
Shri Mataji: You see, you feel the source, you see, that’s the source so you want to talk and you want to have something. But here is the other way round. They want to extract from you. What is there for men to do? It’s women who have to do. Women have to do. They don’t realize their potential, you see. They go on eating somebody’s head all the time, how can they love him? They cannot.
And that’s what I think when I tell Indian men to marry Western women, they shudder. I mean because why should they make themselves miserable, just think, if they know about the Western women as they are. They must change, we are Sahaja Yogis we have nothing to do with the Western ideas of women and this. I don’t know, I, whatever books I have read about Western women, about the heroines and all that, they were not like this. This is something else, I am seeing actually what I have read and –
Sahaja Yogi: I think that the women in the West could imitate and take for themselves very much the attitude of the Indian ladylike.
Shri Mataji: No, that’s not an issue, there’s no need to imitate because you are Sahaja Yogis. You’ll get it spontaneously, you just accept that what was the past is past. You can. Our job is to make everybody happy and joyous, that’s it. That’s our job. That’s the source we have got. We are the source of joy, accept this situation. We are the source of joy, of confidence, of love and affection and kindness and gentleness. Then once in a while, if husband does wrong, you have a right to tell him. He will never mind. But if all the time if you go on coaxing him he will say: “Oh this is permanent, mundane, everyday.”
Shri Mataji: Yes, what is it?
Sahaja Yogi: Mother it’s about 35 to 5.
Shri Mataji: Yes, we have to leave. I will hardly take any time as you know. You want me to be by 10 o’clock or?
Sahaja Yogi: Quarter to ten, Mother.
Shri Mataji: Quarter to ten, all right I will be there. Just go and tell him, I will be there.
Sahaja Yogi: Mother can I come just with You or it is too late?
Shri Mataji: Will be there, be there, all right? May God bless you. But this was necessary, right?
[Cut in the audio]
Shri Mataji: Even Australia, women should be told about this, very common.
Sahaja Yogi: Mother, it’s going to be intensive, it’s going to be [unsure]
Shri Mataji: Yes, you sent it all over.
Sahaja Yogi: It’s going to be a present to all the Yogis. Please touch it.
Shri Mataji: Yes, [?] are very sweet, haan. Don’t trouble the girls. If they don’t trouble you then you shouldn’t trouble them.
For the- this should be nice for the [?], no?
Sahaja Yogini: Ok.
Shri Mataji: Hum? Because here
[Cut in the audio]
That’s all. We don’t know anything else, you can see, and it will all scratch.
[Cut in the audio]
Shri Mataji: One thing I want to tell you, that when Sahaja Yogis react or do anything wrong, it really badly harms Me, actually I believe, it gives much harm [unsure]. But if somebody else [?] nothing can touch Me. But truly so because you become part and parcel of Me, anything you do negative, that harms. [?]
So now remember, for all of you, that don’t try to put any negative thing before Me. If you have to go, cleanse yourself and come back. But don’t tell Me any negative thoughts about it, all right? You’ll be out of troubles?
Sahaja Yogis together: Yes Mother.
Shri Mataji: Raise your hands.
No more any negative things we will talk about.
And nothing negative. I’ll carry trough, I’ll do it, all right. But, [?] it’s not good, ok? Because you are part and parcel of Me. If my eyes start paining, would that be [?] ? You are my eyes, you are my hands, you’re my everything.
My God bless you.
You see all kinds of things people [Unclear]. I just laugh!
But I have to find a place in my body, in Nabhi, in my heart. Try to [Unclear]
And take a vow, just take a vow.
You decide today in your heart.
Just say: “Mother, let there be no actions of ours which will not be in complete concordance with your will.” [unsure]
Sahaja Yogis: “Mother, let there be no actions of ours which will not be in complete concordance with your will.” [unsure]
Shri Mataji: So today is the day of the environment. [Unsure and unclear]
So let’s have some [?], all right?
[Unclear] ….of Austria.
May God bless you.
[Cut in the audio]
Gregoire: About the original sin, is it first innocence and then ego?
Shri Mataji: But it’s not sin [Unsure and unclear]….
They just wanted to know about how this world was created and who has created it.
Then the child is born.
Gregoire: Yes. But if it is our curiosity
Shri Mataji: No …