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Raksha Bandhan and maryadas. Hounslow, London (UK), 11 August 1984.
After the great tour of UK I feel very confident that Sahaja Yoga is taking its roots, and you can see some of the plants coming up. It’s surprising, when I declared that it may be the last tour I’ll be doing of UK that things have started working out. Everywhere we went it was very good and successful, specially certain places it was very miraculous. You must have heard about the lady who would not go out of her house, was suffering from agoraphobia, and the press challenged us that she should be cured because she can’t go out of the house. And only on her photograph and treatment she got cured, and now she’s walking about, and they have given a big report saying that ‘The Guru fulfills Her promise’. This is one of them and there are many things have happened of this kind, of which you should get the report.
I must say I found all the sahaja yogis very cooperative, very alert, very helpful and extremely progressive. And I was happy that they are trying to come up and improve themselves, build themselves up, and are doing much better than what I had expected, really. I was very, very enamored by all of them, and I hope that by the time it is 12 years, we’ll be all absolutely top class sahaja yogis of the world.
Now today is a very great day of Raksha Bandhan, so I have to tell you something about Raksha Bandhan. Before that we have to talk about the maryadas that are to be observed by sahaja yogis.
One of the things I discovered here, in the West, that though we have understood the importance of Mooladhara, which is a very important thing and that unless and until we re-establish our Mooladhara fully we are not going to have a speediest ascent. Despite all that, still there are lingering things you see around.
Like people start choosing their life partners in Sahaja Yoga. That is not allowed, that is not allowed. You are not to spoil your ashrams, your centres, using them for a marriage searching society. You must respect it, this point you must respect.
If you have to marry, then you can find your life partner outside Sahaja Yoga – to begin with. But if you want to marry in Sahaja Yoga, then you should not go on searching people in Sahaja Yoga. Is a very dangerous thing for Sahaja Yoga itself and for you people. That is one thing one should never try to do with sahaja yogis. For all practical purposes you are brothers and sisters. And that’s why I always encourage marriages between people who belong to another country or another centres.
As we are now having a marriage – big program – I would say that most of the marriages which were done like that are very successful than the marriages that were selected and were done. It’s very wrong to do such a thing as to arrange your marriage with a sahaja yogi by yourself. It will be dangerous. I don’t want to say anything, but it won’t turn out to be good, because it is anti-God activity, absolutely anti-God.
You are supposed to develop your brahmacharya, you are supposed to develop your Mooladhara. Instead of that, if you start using a sahaja yogini or a sahaja yogi for the selection of your married life, it’s going to be very, very troublesome. Your Mooladhara will not settle down. I mean that’s a very bad stroke for your development.
Because of the background and the kind of conditioning you have had, you people don’t understand that it is important to maintain the purity of the centres, and of every place. So any such relationship in one city is a very wrong thing. It spoils everyone. To add up to the trouble, it’s a habit of people, I have heard, that they try to tease that “You look better together, you are nice together.” They tease and enjoy. It’s a kind of a very perverted enjoyment of Mooladhara, to tease others “You are looking very nice with him, and you better marry.” It’s a kind of a romantic nonsense.
Of course, for all the yogis they have to have a brahmacharya. But even if you can’t have brahmacharya you must have maryadas. Not to tease each other and enjoy that kind of a nonsense, when the marriage is not settled. [If] marriage [is] settled, is all right.
And this kills completely the joy of marriage, because there is no curiosity left. And many a times I find that absurd relations are established. Some of them are really no good, and they will really be detrimental, and some of them never are established. So if they are established, they are wrong, and if they are not established, they are heartbreaking.
So all this kind of thing you should not do. We’ve got experiences of people who married outside and brought wonderful people to Sahaja Yoga. If you can do it, you should do it. But if you have to marry sahaja yogis, you should not marry them at the cost of destroying the purity and the idealism it has. For your own sake, for your own pleasures, you should not spoil the name of Sahaja Yoga.
That is one thing I have seen, so I would say that today, as it is the day of purity between relationship, let us know that you have to treat each other as brothers and sisters. No such play should be followed. Don’t allow your mind to drift into this. Because if you allow, then there’s no end to it. As it is, you know how hard it is to bring you back to normalcy.
When Christ had said, “Thou shalt not have adulterous eyes,” He didn’t say it because it was not practical. It is quite practical for sahaja yogis. And there is nothing to worry about marriages so much. What is so important? So many are married and what has happened to them. Even with Sahaja Yoga marriage, some of them have failed because of these bad habits.
So you better get rid of these bad habits before marriage, because after marriage also they go on like this, and searching for boys and girls. Because if these habits are not curbed before marriage, then they go on lingering on. So one should not try to do all these things before marriage. And I have seen such marriages are never, never successful so far. And even if they are, it is a sort of a make-believe thing. It doesn’t give real joy, it’s a joyless pursuit. Maybe in one case, may be successful; that doesn’t mean that you should take any help from such difficult things, but have normal marriages which are enjoyable, which have created permanent bondages between people.
Now we have to understand the maryadas, about which I have told you before also. The relationships between men and women are only pure if a certain amount of boundaries are kept. Like, supposing you have milk in one container and you have got something else in another container. To keep the purity of one container, you have to keep it in its bounds, in the cup. If you allow them to mix up, if they fall together and they mix up, then there is no purity left – is a simple thing like that. One should understand, that we have to understand that how to keep our relationships in proper respect to each other’s modesty and chastity.
Now for example, there is a girl who is younger to you. You must keep all the distance from such a person. If she is much older than you, then it is all right. You can talk, laugh, joke – she’s much older than you. But normally with a girl who is younger to you, even much younger, you should try to keep away, after all if she is a young girl; not with the children, but still. You must learn these things: how to maintain a distance.
Now, if there’s a man who is younger to you, then you must not have any funny ideas about such a person – is absolutely absurd. If some gentleman is younger to you, it’s in, only perversion you do such things. You see, you should not have any funny ideas about that person. It’s only done when there are emergencies, when there is no possibility of a marriage, when there are so many women or so many men – or under perverted conditions. We don’t have none of these conditions here, so we have to behave like normal people, and when the proper atmosphere is given to us, why not make use of it? Why should we create absurd things?
Then they come out to Me saying that “Mother, now we have decided to marry. Let us marry.” I have to say “Yes.” [With] many things I don’t want to say “Yes”, but I have to say “Yes.” But [it] creates a very bad precedent.
Maybe that in certain cases, as an exceptional case, I might have chosen to marry somebody like that. But that doesn’t mean you should take things into your hands, and just start doing things like that, so that I’ll have problems later on. Because once you do like that, then anybody starts doing. It’s a kind of an aggressiveness, that you arrange something, come to Me, say. “Mother, we want to marry.” Now what am I to say? “All right, marry.” But it creates a problem for Me, for the rest of the people. They will say, “All right. If he has married a girl who is twenty years younger, why not I marry a girl who is thirty years younger?”
You must understand My problems. If you ask Me for something, “Mother, should I do it?” You really force Me into it – I have to say “Yes” . I cannot be very strict with you, because I am your Mother. But you should be sensible what to ask Me, how far to go. This is the biggest maryada you have to learn.
Suddenly you will come, “Mother, should I sit here?” What do I say? Should I make this gentleman sit here? What should I say? “All right”. You yourself should not ask such a question.
Because sometimes you give undue importance to somebody, who is “my brother,” who is “my sister” -something – and make that person sit on My head. Sometimes you telephone to Me, “Mother, she would like to talk to You.” Who is she? Is she all right? Should we take her to Mother? Is she capable of talking to Mother? What is her condition? Will she trouble Mother? Nobody thinks about it!
So you must first establish your relationship with Me of proper understanding that you should not try to trouble Me. But this is something is not yet in My hands. I think because people do not understand what they are doing.
So first try to see that you don’t try to take advantage of Me.
And secondly, don’t try to bring people to Me who do not deserve it.
There is no need to waste My time with them. I have so much things to be done, so many ideas to be formulated. I have to work so hard. You know, I am working harder than any one of you, those who are doing Sahaja Yoga. And at this age, if you try to trouble Me like that, I don’t know how to tell you that “Don’t you trouble Me!” In the presence of the person you will come, you will bring the person on My head, “Oh, that person has come from Timbuktu, and I have brought her.” Just you do it. It’s aggressiveness on Me. Please don’t try to do like this! This is a wrong thing to do.
So the maryadas are to be established first with Me, that understand that you should not try to trouble Me at all like this.
Secondly, you must try to please Me by being good people. I hear that somebody is trying to be very egoistical. He doesn’t even put on My tapes, he just gives his own lectures. This kind of a thing is very surprising. How can people do like that?
Try to bring down your egos, super egos. You must learn to please Me, “Prasanno bhave Devi, prasanno bhave”. If you cannot make the Devi Prasanna ( pleased), what will be your achievement? As Rustom says that I am Mahamaya. All right, but don’t you know that I am that? So try to keep to it. And keep that understanding that if you have to grow, we must have proper relationship with Mother, and we must understand what will displease Her the most. “Am I pleasing Her by doing this?” But if you force Me, “If it pleases You, we’ll do.” Then what am I to say? “All right, go ahead.” If it pleases Me I’ll just spontaneously say, “All right, it pleases Me. Go ahead with it!”
Like that, so many things are there that people just try to force on Me and I say “Yes”. But I am very cunning and clever in that, because I tell in a way that you should realise that it is not joy giving.
All right, whatever it is. Now the second thing is that the maryadas of relationships between you is a relationship of pure love, of purity.
Unless and until you develop pure relationships, you are going to be ruined!
See, this finger has to have pure relationship with this hand. Supposing if this finger has some dirty feelings about this hand, it may dirty it, it may spoil it. In the same way, we should have extremely pure relationships with each other. Means, we should try to give our heart to another person without any lust or greed in it. That we should try to do.
Try to help each other. I find when they feel in a lusty way, or a greedy way attached to others – this is not for the sahaja yogis, but non sahaja yogis – they get so much interested in that person. Is a very baser way of attachment. But in Sahaja Yoga, your attachment is with your Spirit, with your Atma, and Atma is the purest form of our being. We have to keep it absolutely pure. And then the enjoyment is higher than any romance, any marriage, any worldly thing. It’s the highest and the top-most. First achieve that. First of all you should arise and achieve that, achieve that purity. That is very important.
Now the relationship between the men and women, I have told you, that you should not try to enter into any bedrooms where the ladies are – it’s not proper. Nor the women should enter into men’s thing. But is very common.
Women should not behave in the way other women behave. Like, I was told in a wedding in Maharashtra that the women went and took out all their clothes. I mean, that’s not England. They got a shock, you know. Some of them lost their appetite for three, four days. They have never seen such women in their lifetime. They went and took out their clothes suddenly, all of them. I mean, they were shocked, so much shocked that three, four days they didn’t eat their food. So you have no business to shock them also. Because if you go to somebody’s country, you must know in what way they live. It’s never done. Nobody becomes nude like that. And about twenty girls, if suddenly they become nude, what will happen?
So the sense of shame must be developed among men and women. It looks nice, it looks beautiful. It gives you an additional charm if you have the sense of shame, a little bashfulness. See, your Princess of Wales is regarded as something beautiful. She is bashful. Her bashfulness is so natural. That bashfulness is not there, like a – I don’t know what animal does that, but somebody who has no shame. I mean, I just don’t know which one is that. Everybody has a sense of shame, even animals. So why shouldn’t we have that sense of shame? How to behave towards women, how to be… Suddenly there is no need to just… I have seen one lady going from England to India, and she just went and put a big slap on the back of Mr. Modi, “Hello Modi, how are you?” And Modi got such a shock. She didn’t mean, she was innocent, but that’s not the way in Sahaja Yoga we are going to behave, like some sort of a debonair or some sort of a fantastic, what you call, a modern woman, you see, walking in like that.
One must understand one must have a sense of shame. How do you talk, even with Me they will talk with a hand like that “Mother, (?) thing is happening.” But there’s no need to do all that, you see. Talk in a way that is gentle and beautiful.
The other day I met a very nice taxi fellow. And I tell you, his gestures and things were so beautiful. Immediately I said, “He is a realised soul.” He would not say anything without putting his hand like this, and with his eyes down below. He would not say something like that, nothing of the kind. So sweet he was, his whole gesture. He is an Englishman. Brought up and bred here. Not a single vulgar word he said. Like one of your players was so stupid, when Princess Anne went to meet him he said all kinds of things, you see. Is a kind of an ego, or stupidity, I don’t know, because, how you talk, how you speak, everything should be saintly. You are saints now, do you realise? You are all saints.
So how you behave with dignity towards each other, how you respect their dignity, how you live, is very important, and that you should try to maintain in a way that looks like a saintly behavior. You have to be a saint. And that is not difficult for you, to take to that, that you behave in a manner that you are saints.
This is very important I must tell you because I have seen that these maryadas. It would be killing, it would be absolutely killing Sahaja Yoga, if you do not keep your maryadas. That is one of the most essential things one has to be. I have told you again and again how you dress up, how you bear yourself up, how you talk, how you listen to others more than you talk yourself, how you become non-aggressive, is the best way to impress people and to express Sahaja Yoga. I tell you, as it is, people have started saying, “They are very beautiful people, you can see they are very beautiful. You can see they are very different type. It’s something different. They are something great.” People have started saying that. But still we lack in certain things, like we start going on a plane which is not suitable to our stature, to our dignity, to our position as saints. We are all prophets, and prophets have to behave like prophets. They cannot behave like cheap type people. So, in that we have to understand the maryadas.
Now the maryaada to your leaders also, you should be respectful. I have seen that nobody calls anybody – even the children will call somebody, say, elderly person also – never they, say, call them uncle or anything. It’s a wrong thing. You must teach your children to call elders by the name as brother or uncle or someone. Give some respect to the elders. But when the leader is also not respected, what is the question of it? I have seen little boys calling big, married people with three, four children, by name. That’s not our style. You should never do it.
I saw this – even My husband’s office has this problem. Because when I came, you see, they always called you by name. “Tom”- he’s such a big man, he’s called as “Tom”, and all that. So C.P. looked at it like that you see. And we always call them – even the drivers, we call them by the name “Mr.,” you see. So we couldn’t understand why is it like this. You see, being democratic or something like this, you see, that’s how you become demonocratic.
We must respect. We must respect each other, must call them by higher names. Specially when in a meeting, there are people, you should call them – each other, even your friends – by “Mr. so and so.” It’s all right for Me to call you. It would look very funny if I call “Mr. Brown” or “Mr. Reeves” because they are My children, you see, I’m their Mother. But for you, because you are equal, this thing, at least call them “Mr.” and say something in a way which is good.
Like the English language has many words as “please”, “thank you.” All these must be used profusely, profusely. We are going back a little bit. We are now becoming much more modern. That we should give up and become less modern and more elevating.
Now the whole idea of this maryada is such that when you have called somebody as a sister or a brother then it is not only lip service – “You are my sister” – it is something innate, and very deep. You have to develop that feeling of a sister, because that’s how your sublimity will go up, your left Vishuddhi will improve, your Vishnumaya will be satisfied. If you call somebody a sister, the sisterly and the daughterly relationships, and motherly relationships, always bring down, you see, the so-called ego, which is hiding in the left Vishuddhi.
So try to be kind and gentle with the person whom you call the sister. Stand by her, look after her. If somebody you call your brother, you have to pray for his protection, then you must know that you have a right to ask him for his protection also. But you must also give something to him, and you must try to look after him, welcome him to your house, and treat him as a somebody, a part and parcel of your being, because he’s very much near to you because he is your brother, and he’s very much closer.
But such a brother should not try to dominate the wife. This is the maryada, again. Like a brother is, somehow, is very friendly with the brother, or a lady is friendly as a sister, then she should not try to put a wedge between the husband and wife. That is the worst thing to do, is to put a wedge between husband and wife. Anybody who tries that must know that he’s a mean person. One should never try to put a wedge between husband and wife.
I know there are problems between husband and wife, I’ll put them right. But you don’t try to put any wedge between them. And don’t try to create a problem. If it is problematic, it is for Me to solve, not you people don’t have to solve. And don’t interfere with their married life. Let them be as they are. I will find out how they are, I’ll try to help them. But it’s very wrong to play with their married life or with their married problems, and suddenly jump on somebody. Is a very wrong thing, which is very common here. And [if] a woman is in distress, you see, a man will come to help her, even if she is married, he’ll elope with her. This is how he comes to help her in the distress, to create another distress for her!
So this is how one should understand that this kind of a cheap heart giving business, and taking business, is not for Sahaja Yoga.
In our heart resides the Spirit. We are dignified people, and in that dignity we have to rise and live with that dignity. Not to cheaply allow the Spirit to be insulted or dominated or subjugated to anyone.
Now the relationship with children also one should understand. I have seen some people have a habit of getting a child very much closer, and pampering them, “Oh, that child is this thing. Oh, that child…” Let the parents handle the child, you just don’t interfere with other’s children. Don’t interfere much with them. If you find any child is such and such, inform Me, I’ll cure the child. But if a child is being spoilt by you, it’s the worst thing to do is to harm that child, is to spoil. Children here are very clever and intelligent, you must know. They are very good at manipulating. They will, because they are extremely precocious. They are realised souls, they are born in this country. What a combination! At that time you must be very careful as to their training.
From the first five years all the parents must be extremely strict with children, extremely strict. Don’t allow them to overpower you or manoeuvre, manipulate you. It’s very important. If you allow them to overpower you or to dominate you, they’ll sit on your head. Tell them not to do like that. And one day you will come and say, “Mother, what to do, these are realised souls and, you see, we were looking after them.” They are not deities! They are not deities to be worshipped! They are only realised souls. So keep them at that point. And you are My trustees of those children. And if you spoil them, it is you who will he held responsible.
You have no business to spoil the lives of these children as sahaja yogis, and their chances of ascent. So if they are born-realised, they are not deities – this you must understand. They are not beyond corruption, they are not beyond all kinds of things.
So this, if you understand this little point, that dealing with your children you have to be really strict. They must know how to meditate, they must know how to pray, they must know how to respect; and all the good things you must teach your children. And don’t allow them to sit on your head.
Many people have ruined the lives of their children like this. Now will you please see that such child is brought into proper level? If the child is trying to take liberties with you, and cheeky and does not listen, please give that child to some other sahaja yogi to look after, whom you think can look after, and see that the child is put right. Nip in the bud is the best way, because we don’t want to have children who are spoilt, who are spoiling other children, nor we want children who are subjected to such children.
So, you can have proper children, well-behaved children, sensible, wise children. Because they can really be a drag on you, on Me, on everyone, if you do not properly bring them up. And they are our liabilities; we have to look after them.
So the relationship between the father and children, mother and children, is important. Actually the mother should look after the child much more. And the child must respect. Father should never scold the mother in the presence of the child. That’s one thing one must understand, that, if the father starts scolding the mother in the presence of the child, the child will have no respect for the mother.
But the respect must be maintained, because if the wife respects the husband, then the child will know how to respect her and the husband too. So the whole thing is built up like that. Is a kind of a pattern for children to follow. One should not try to dominate the husband, at least in the presence of children. It is very wrong, because then the children learn that trick and they start dominating you. So it flows from you to children. So try to see that if you have to do anything then you do it yourself. And respect the husband and in a way that is very obvious to the child that the father is respected by mother.
And they are just like monkeys. The way you behave, they behave. So you allow them to behave in a particular manner, they will behave that way. But if you put a good pattern…
The other day I was thinking, how Indian children are so obedient, so sensible. They will never ask for it. “I want this, I want that.” They never manipulate. What happens? What happens, how do they do it? The reason is, I think, is a good pattern in the house. Everybody knows whom to respect, how to respect, how to behave.
The relationship in Sahaja Yoga has to be even more than this, much more subtler. For example, if – this I’ve said before also – if we are in a room, try to give another person a room always, try to. Try to do for them. If you have to pay, better pay yourself, not that wait for another person to pay. Try to do it yourself, run forward to do it. You see, if someone is carrying the luggage, you run, you do it. That is the way a sahaja yogi should be. Mostly, children are like that. They’ll say, “I’ll get it, I’ll do it, I’ll receive it.” May be ego, you might call it, but whatever it is, but that is the style you all have to achieve by organising a proper type of an image for the whole society. That if somebody needs something, you run away. “You want water? All right… You want this thing? You take mine.” Food also – same thing. First let others have, not that you should first have anything. How you eat your food is very important, everything is very important for the children to see, and to behave like that.
In money matters also, I have seen that people should be very, very sensible and should have proper maryadas. Now with Me, whatever maryadas you want to keep, you must understand, because [it’s] very embarrassing to talk about it. But so far, as you know that, I had to shell out lot of money to manage many funds, many things. And last time also we had many people who came (?) doesn’t matter.
But now as it is…would you not do just now! In My lecture why should you do? Just wait. At the time, now, when we are talking about maryadas, we must know that, in any case, Mother should not be made to pay anymore. Because we are so many, we should try to manage, if possible.
Like yesterday, I had a person from BBC, and he said, “It is wrong of You not to take any money from them.” I said, “Where is the money? No question of taking, I have to pay Myself.” I said, “It is so invaluable that how can you charge for it? You cannot charge for it, it is very invaluable. The Spirit is very invaluable, and you cannot charge for it.” So he was insisting. I mean, he took half an hour on this subject only. He said, “This Anglo-Saxon brain won’t understand unless and until You make it a little more money-oriented or something.” I said, “I cannot. Tell me how much is to be paid.” Just to shut him down, I said, “What about Christ? How much money did He take? By God’s grace I am quite well off and I really don’t need either. But He needed, still He never took any money from anyone.” Then he kept quiet.
But this is what it is, you see, that people think that you are getting it easy, cheap and that’s why you want to take advantage, which is wrong. You must respect. You must respect and understand that it is never good to take any advantage of Me. On the contrary, whenever it is possible we should try to do whatever is possible for Sahaja Yoga – is very important. Try to surrender.
Not that I will take any money from you, you know that. I don’t want any money or anything. But surrender yourself absolutely to Sahaja Yoga. That’s the best way people have risen and have done so well.
Now the relationship among yourselves, among different groups, among different nations. We should try to help people who, supposing there is a couple now, wants to go to India to get married. Now if they don’t have money, of course I am there. I said, “All right, they need not pay any money, I’ll pay for them.” But Warren has put down his foot, he says, “Why not the people, or the centre, help them out, for the time being?” You see because they helped; now supposing they have helped somebody – he had no money, he went to India, he got married and then he got lost, you see, he misbehaved, in the sense, he doesn’t talk to anyone, he thinks no end of himself, then he started behaving in a funny manner. So a kind of a feeling came into their mind that “Why should we do it? If you do it for somebody, he behaves like this. If you try to help somebody…” Is this a natural reaction that if you try to do something for someone then people try to misbehave? That’s not so. Must be one person has done it, that doesn’t mean that everybody has done it. That’s what it is. They say that a kind of a barrier is built in a person who is helped by us, and his ego is challenged, and he tries to behave in a manner which was never known before. And he starts behaving in such a funny manner that he doesn’t talk to anyone, he keeps out and he becomes mad with his ego. So his ego is hurt. There’s nothing to feel hurt. Because if you have no money and if it is one part and one body, if somebody’s helping you out, doesn’t matter. You can help, when you are well off, to somebody else. But when it comes to you, you give up. So this is a very absurd type of a behavior of one individual, or two or three, or maybe five or ten. Doesn’t matter. But still we must not forget that we have to help. We have to help as many as possible. And we must try to do whatever is possible for us, for others. This is important. If we cannot do for a group, like sahaja yogis, whom are we going to help? So we have to give that help.
Now in Sahaja Yoga itself, on the subtle basis we should not try to judge anybody’s vibrations. It is very common in people, “Oh, you are caught up on your Agnya. Oh, you have got this wrong, let me clear you out. You sit down.” Morning till evening, without meditating, they are clearing each other’s chakras and catching on themselves. It’s an absolutely wrong idea.
Everybody, individually, should sit before the photograph, get the vibrations, every morning, there should be a discipline. You must know that the system of Sahaja Yoga today has worked out this way that I have given you Realisation just to say that – let your light be enlightened.
Now you have to see your lamp, if it is clean or not. Only possible when the light is enlightened. See your lamp, if it is enlightened or not. See, if somebody is over-aggressive, then it’s all right, you make a joint attack on that person, and tell-off that person. Or there are leaders who will do it. But everybody should not judge others. You better judge yourself, cleanse yourself, look after yourself, and also try to see how your lamp is – is it clean? Mother has given us the light to see and why not see?So if you work it out on these lines, you’ll go very fast. And you have to, now, perfect yourself. We have so many sahaja yogis. But how many are perfect? This is the point is.
Now your relationship to Sahaja Yoga is also very important. There’s a maryada about it very much. Sahaja Yoga should not be taken for granted. Anybody who thinks he has got Realisation and now he is sitting on top of the world – is not so. You must work it out, you have to have discipline. The same gentleman, the BBC fellow, was saying that it was before, for years together, you had to live in celibacy and wash the feet of the …wash the steps of the temple and do all kinds of things, work hard, do this, do that – and then they would raise it to one chakra. I said, “Now we do it the other way round!” First build the dome and then the foundation. Sahaja Yoga is like that. So that with the dome you understand, you are protected, you are looked after. But people take it for granted, like. “Mother will do it. Leave it to Mother.” No, it is not so. You are My hands. Supposing My hands have to lift this, I should say that Nirmala will do it? Now, which is Nirmala? These hands are the Nirmala at this point.
So, many people drift like that. So, to Sahaja Yoga also, your attitude should be of respect. You should not try to put yourself into bandhan before others, you should not try to do these things, but in a dignified way you must respect Sahaja Yoga.And foremost of all, to Sahaja Yoga your relationship should be that you should know Sahaja Yoga, what it is. Otherwise every time if you have to talk about Sahaja, Gavin must come, or somebody. Why? Gavin didn’t know a word about Sahaja Yoga, he didn’t know a word about Indian mythology, he didn’t know anything, he did not know what Realisation is – he studied. He’s even studying Sanskrit. Like many of you have done it.But all of you, one and all, should become a big pandit. But you get lost in your marriage problems. Then your children’s problems. Then “my mother,” then “my sister.” I mean, it will take too much time for you. First of all you should see, “I am a sahaja yogi. Let me get to work.” And it creates problems for us also. Because your wife will sue you, your children will come round, this, that. You should say, “I have nothing to do, I am going to study Sahaja Yoga.”I was surprised that many people have taken The Advent just like as a Bible, just as a Bible. They never read it. I was surprised that some people do not know what I have written in the Bible. So it is like the Jews, you see, having a Golden Bible tied up here. They keep The Advent in a very good cover near the photograph, worship it – finished. Then the knowledge goes into them straight away! (laughter)You must read some chapters at least of Advent, if not anything else. There are so many books you can read [that] I have told you. Try to make your own library. Try to improve in it. Everybody must try to get perfection it – perfectionism. You should never be a liability on Sahaja Yoga, but a great asset of Sahaja Yoga. That’s what everybody should try to be. That, your problems I will solve. But you solve your ascent. That is very important. You must ascend. Otherwise, whatever problems I solve, you get into another problem, then you get into another problem.
Now the relationship – say you have an ashram; somebody has bought it. Now, nobody should think that “This is my house.” Now this is the best way to get out of this idea of possession. Because then I trouble you. That’s the place where Mahamaya plays. If you say, “This is my house,” then you will have it. And you will have it forever. So such things you should never develop, the feeling that “this (is my house).” Now I have seen people,
they go into an ashram, and then they think this is their house. They live there, they manipulate all the money that they save and this and that, and develop this, want to make everything comfortable. They never think that, “This is not my ashram. I am doing it because I am a sahaja yogi. This is the Ashram of Mother. I have to do it.” But that detachment is not there. Not at all a detachment.And it is something surprising, that if you have to go to Himalayas and make an insurance policy, then what’s the use of coming to Sahaja Yoga? It is as absurd as that, that we are writing to insurance policies, that “I have gone to Himalayas. When I die, give my property to this one. If I don’t die, I’ll come back after that.” And nicely packing up in a nice plastic bag so that ice doesn’t spoil it. It’s as absurd as that! So you should not have anything.Now some people have a habit, “Oh, I’ll get a house for myself. Get my wife there, children there, finished!.” All such people should, for a change, leave their houses, come to ashram, put some other people in their house. Because they are getting attached, you see. How will you get detached? Is there any way out?That is very important in Sahaja Yoga. Unless and until you are detached, you cannot ascend.Supposing you have all the tentacles down here on the Mother Earth, and you say, “Let this plane fly,” how will it go? So those people who have houses of their own, or buildings of their own or anything – flats – should give up their houses. Not to be that comfortable. Get out of it. Ask some other people to shift, and you shift to the ashram. Go on shifting, training your mind to shift, to live with everyone, to be able to share and to do things.
I have changed forty houses after My marriage, you can imagine. And the kind of a house I have to carry! What a very multi-purpose house. And I have changed, so far, forty houses, and if I change now this house, Hester’s (Hester Spiro) house, it will be the forty-first. You can imagine, I have been married forty years and forty houses I have changed.
So the relationship of purity must be understood, in everything. Is it pure relationship? Am I living in this ashram in pure relationship? “Because this is the house that is giving me comfort, that’s why I am living in this house, or am I just living here, just because it’s an abode – I am here today, and I will be there tomorrow?” You will be amazed, you will enjoy every part of life.
As soon as you are attached, you are doomed! It’s a headache to be attached to something. Then you hanker. “My wife has not arrived. Oh God, what to do now? I must telephone to her, get her here.” But if you are detached about it – she’ll come in time. Not only that, but you will enjoy her company. Otherwise you’ll shout at her, “Why didn’t you come in time? I was waiting for you.” Then why were you waiting to scold her, and shout at her and spoil all the relationship?Just see, the absurdity of the whole thing is the attachment. You should get completely detached about everything, and you will enjoy, just enjoy. But in that also, one has to judge – you are really enjoying or you are just making a drama out of it?Try to be sincere. Purity is brought forth by sincerity. If you are not sincere to yourself and to others, you cannot be pure. And purity is the main thing you have to achieve in Sahaja Yoga, apart from the unity, which I have given you. But if you do not use this unity for purity – no use.So this light should give you complete wisdom that you enjoy a pure, good life. You are married, all right, you have life of enjoyment with your wife; that I have already described to you. And with your wife how to behave also, I have described to you many a times, or with your husband.
But when it comes to others, you should have absolutely pure relationship of no exploitation. Even there are flirting exploitations, as the same as money exploitations. Here if you exploit somebody by money it’s called a thug, but flirting is not called anything. I think that is a much worse crime, according to Christ. So you have to be careful on this point, and understand that relationship with each other has to be clear.
Now there are people who have, say, horrible wives or horrible husbands. I don’t mind, they can give them up. If they are absolutely impossible, if they are spoiling their purity, if they are torturing their lives, then is best is to get rid of them, I don’t mind. Because if they are so bad that you cannot use them – just like this body, if it is so bad, it’s better to give up and die – so that let that relationship die out. But that death should come to you as a very forceful help, otherwise, after that, if you become a nervous personality, what’s the use?
So what you have to do after such a thing has happened – that you have given up such a relationship – then, if you have to go to courts and all that, you should give up Sahaja Yoga for the time being. Solve your problems. Solve your court problems, everything, then come to Sahaja Yoga. We do not want to get involved into this kind of a thing at all, that we have broken any family or anything. If you cannot carry on with a wife, not that Sahaja Yoga should not be an excuse because you can not carry on with her! You should have this thing, go out of Sahaja Yoga, do what you like with your wife, finish it off once for all, and you should tell her, “I’m no more a sahaja yogi.” Get it out, and then come to Sahaja Yoga. But by coming to Sahaja Yoga you’ll be really troubling Me too much. So I have to make a humble request to you, that if you have any a such problem don’t come.
Do not allow any child who is younger than a proper age, sixteen years, to be kept in the ashram without taking a full permission, written permission, from the parents. Or a wife who has made problems with the husband, should not be allowed to come and stay in the ashram with the children unless and until it is resolved. We are not responsible for all kinds of problems. Then people who are sick or mentally deranged should not be kept in the ashram. That is also quite a sympathetic attitude of so many sahaja yogis. Ashram is for the best people, not for the lunatics. So please do not get such people who are no good. We do not want such people to come in the ashram who are going to ruin the reputation of ashram, so also that you have to establish…
So coming to the relationship of Vishnumaya, is that Vishnumaya is the One Who is the sister, sister of Shri Krishna. She’s the One Who announced the coming of Shri Krishna. She’s the One Who sacrificed Her life to save Shri Krishna’s life. Vishnumaya is the One which surrounds Shri Krishna, and She was born as Draupadi who, you know, was later on humiliated by Duryodhana, and it was Shri Krishna Who came and helped Her.So it’s a very sweet relationship of purity, of help, a very delicate relationship is to be maintained of a brother and a sister. And that is a special relationship today. Those who want to tie the Rakhis to a sister should tie today before Me, it will be a good idea. It is a greater relationship than any other relationship. Because here somebody’s your own sister, is all right, but if she’s not your own sister you should know that you all are born of one Mother. So the brother and sister relationship should be all right.
In that also one should not have preferences – because some would like to have a rich sister, or some sort of a nonsense like that. Or somebody would like to have the most miserable one, this is all the mind. But a relationship with a person with whom you would like to be happy, you should tie the rakhi. And if there is anybody left out, you should not try to do that.So anybody who is listening, I would say that – best thing would be to have your lucky dips I think, for people, something like that could be done so that they choose their sisters and tie the things. Which ever way you like you choose it. But I have got some nice rakhis for you, that should be done today. And I will be very happy. And then we’ll do this little havana for the Vishnumaya.
May God bless you.TIE THE RAKHI AND HAVAN:
(Informal conversation with yogis about who will live in which ashrams)
This house has too much right-side. [Inaudible] It’s a very right-sided house, it’s very right-sided. I don’t know; you have to, little bit, fill with some left-sided [inaudible].
There is one more thing I have to tell, which he had asked Me to talk to you. I don’t know if you are interested, but they are showing some sort of a program at seven o’clock on Saturday. They are showing some program of revelation, how people see lights, things like that. sahaja yogis must know why these things happen. Like, one gentleman suddenly felt a flash. He went to a lady and she was a widow lady, her husband had died in climbing, and he himself used to climb a lot with him. And the husband died, so he went to get the lady, the widow. And she was telling all the stories, and he felt very sad about it, and suddenly – he didn’t like the way she was telling the stories, I think – and suddenly he felt a flash on his head, of light. And then he felt tremendous compassion for her. What must have happened, can you tell? No, I’ll tell you what must have happened: the Kundalini must have risen. He used to climb and do all these right-sided business, so it must have spread – one possibility – on the right side. It could have been that, without Kundalini awakening also, the sympathetic might have broken its way to the right because he’s too much right-sided and all that. And ultimately with these things, he might have broken himself to the right and gone to the right most probably. But by going too much to the right, you see, he must have felt the pull of the left, because right is too much pulled out, then you sink to the left. And that’s how he must have felt the compassion for the lady. But could be also with Kundalini. With some people it can happen that Kundalini, at the time of such tension and problems, sometimes rises and tries to… because It’s a parasympathetic thing. Might rise and just soothes the person, at that point. But most probably, I think, it is the sympathetic activity which he was doing, and suddenly the whole thing flashed into the right, then he went to the left.
Another lady who did some dirty act on the stage, some filthy act, and she was not very happy with it. Though it was indecent, she had to do it. And she did that on the stage, and after that she was feeling very sad, and then suddenly she felt a lot of fire in her stomach, tremendous heat in her stomach. And then in the morning, when she looked in the mirror, she felt her eyes were all heated up, and heat was coming out of her eyes, when she looked at her eyes she felt very sad about it, and all her body was frozen. And this is the one where, I think, is Shri Ganesha’s anger, that He showed Himself as the Mooladhara heat, and from the eyes Christ, His heat was coming. And because the heat was all consumed in those chakras the rest of the body was heat.
One fellow has an experience that from his back he gets cool breeze coming out, but not from his head, because, I think, should be an Agnya bhoot was blocked, so he’s just emitting from his back only, and the Kundalini is trying to come out.
(With) some people, the Kundalini will rise, definitely. The reason is this: that so many now of you have got Realisation. And I have told you that once a particular number of people gets it people will get the experiences. But getting the experience is a very vague thing. They are just vague; they do not know what it is. So it may be also that hundred monkey syndrome has started and that people are getting this Kundalini awakening within themselves. Because suddenly so many revelations are coming forward.
[Shri Mataji asks for the center leaders to come and perform the Havan]
Let this fire light go into your Left Vishuddhi and cleanse it completely, burn off all baddha.
May God bless you
So we had this complete, this Vishnumaya where we have never done before. And Left Vishuddhi has been the biggest problem of this country – feeling guilty and all that. So now I’m sure the people will come out of it, and will try to show everyone not with ego but with complete balanced mind, the dignity of sahaja yogis.
May God bless you
Now, we have decided not to have too many marriages in Switzerland, because, as you see now, we cannot go up to that point where we can have marriages. It’s all full of snow, you cannot have fire, you cannot have all the arrangements. Even a garland of flowers may cost you fifty pounds. And it’s not going to be cheaper marriage, in the sense that everything is so expensive, even if you find out in the market. Now I have to make a request to you people: those who want to get married in Switzerland should be mostly the people who want to remarry, or those people who can not at all afford to go to India. But try to help the people who do not have enough to go to India, that they get married in India. It’s much easier, it’s much [inaudible], much more simple. All right? So, if you understand that, if you can go to India and if you have leave, then do it. It’s better to do it there. And you need not jump…They say that [Indian saying], means a person who is very anxious to get married, doesn’t even raise the head-dress here, he ties upon his knee. So one should not be that much excited. Take a very sensible view of the whole thing, those who want to get married. And we have decided on the people who could marry in Switzerland.
So those who have no money or something, apart from this you should try to help them if possible, every way possible. I will also try to help.
Now another thing I have to say is that you all have to send some money for My travel, because I have to travel now. We have been traveling throughout England, again I have to travel; and if there is no travel money, you know who has to pay the amount. But the people will be again replacing the money of the travel, which will again be there ready for other travel. As it is, for India and all that, you don’t have to pay. But, I think that, if you decide that I have to travel, that you should pay for My traveling, then it is better that you should send some money for the traveling. We have been all over the country and, so far, nobody has paid anything for travel. So please try to send the traveling money to Gavin Brown, and all the money that you want to contribute to him and the travel.
Now another one, we have decided now to keep the emergency money. Plus, if you people donate more than the travel money, or the money you want to donate for the programs and all that, should be in the emergency money. It can be used for other things like mailing, for photography or any kind of such expenses where you have to have a hall – all these things. Certain people, like Isle of Wight people have sent five-hundred pounds for the program, within three persons it was too much so I decided to pay half of it to them back to the travel money. Then we have to buy one tape recorder which will cost about sixteen hundred, fifty in the market, for which we have money – not the whole but we have lot of it – and we have to buy that also. So the only now money left with us is emergency money and the travel money. Out of it, the travel money is very limited. If I have to travel, then either I pay and then we reimburse, or something like happens. It’s a big problem, because how to adjust it and how to do it? So keep it free from all these problems. If you people donate some money for the travel money to Gavin Brown, it will be easier, which will be again replaced by the people. But just now the traveling is important, for which you have to pay. And the rest of it, just now, is that we don’t have to pay much for anything else. So that all the money should transfer to the travel money – for the time being, only for the time being.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi