Talk to yoig in ashram. Perth (Australia), 2 March 1985.
Now one of My concerns are the children here who are very young and I think the children of this country or any of the western countries are to be looked after in a proper way. I have already given some notes and I think that it is being circulated from London. I hope you people have got those notes which Louise has done.
One thing you must insist on is the massaging of the body, that’s important until about five years of age. Every day the child must be properly massaged, the body must be massaged, then they become quiet. Secondly, I find that this portion of head, if it is not covered properly with oil of children, then they get into troubles. What you have to do is to put some oil on this part on the fontanel bone area quite a lot on the sides every day and push it there like that and if you want you can wash the hair. If you don’t want you need not wash, but it can be washed also with shampoo or something which is not so… something very soft like get some baby shampoo or something, but the best thing would be to put the oil. That’s important oiling is best done in the area and if you oil them properly you will be surprised, they will be very quiet children and they won’t trouble you. You have seen Indian children? They are sitting in the program, they are listening to Me. I don’t know what they understand, but they feel the vibrations I think. So it is important that you must massage their bodies.
Also their sleeping times I think are rather early, you make them sleep, so if they sleep very early you must get them up early also. Otherwise it is no use, then they will have long time sleeping. Then if they don’t sleep later on, they get up very late also. So the best thing is to make them sleep at a time, say at about 10 p.m. or at 9 p.m. If they sleep, they should not sleep more than ten hours and they should be awakened after that. If they sleep at about 7:30 p.m. then 10 hours would be about 5:30. That time they don’t get up, so put it at about say 8 p.m. and wake them up at 6 p.m. is a good idea, if you do that then they’ll be very good and the problem will be solved. I think until they are about twelve years of age. At twelve years of age, you see, the sternum bone still is realizing the antibodies and that is important at this time to give them all the securities that they need and all the love they want.
Now if they do anything wrong, you must tell them it is wrong. You’re his parent, as a parent you must tell him this is wrong. This should not be done, not this. So that the children become obedient about it and understand what they have to do. Because if you allow them to go the way they like, they have no sense of obedience and whatever it is you should not allow children to have their own way. It’s a wrong idea you people have. Till the age of twelve years they must be properly brought up, not too much of love, not too much of this thing and that. All the time they think you can be taken advantage of. So love is looking after them, massaging, servicing, I mean kindliness and also keeping them to yourself. They can sleep with you, all this is all right. But too much love means is sort of spoiling, they want to do what they like, they want to get up whenever they feel like, they want to spoil everything. They should not be allowed and then they will be nice. What is the difference between Indian children and the Western children is this, that the Indian children are extremely considerate and the Western children are destructive, I don’t know, I have experienced it.
Now see my grandchildren that come home and really I don’t have to tell them. One day the youngest one does something on the carpet and she was busy cleaning it up, she could not leave it, she said: “But I must clean it up, why did I spoil it”, on her own she was doing it. If they see something untidy they will put it right, if they see something misplaced they’ll put it right, they know what things are there. This is a constructive way of looking at things you see, when the guests are there they’ll run off up to the place, get things, they’ll try to open the door for them, but not that they’ll open the door of the lift or go and touch some electrical points, not that. Their mind goes to the right thing, perhaps because of massage and all that their nerves are very soothed down and they understand and they keep very quiet.
This is one thing one has to learn about children, you have to serve them. Really, when they are young you have to serve them, pay attention to them, but they should not exploit. Like your child, you remember, when he was traveling with me in the train I thought he was very demanding. All the time she had to talk to him, tell him some stories, do this. I said don’t do that, you are giving too much attention to the child, making too much out of him and that’s why he’s demanding your attention all the time. No he must play, he has to play with himself, he has to be with himself and then he’ll improve. Otherwise, the poor thing, she didn’t know what to do, she was trying to please him all the time. Just to see that the child is happy and doesn’t disturb, but that’s not the way, just don’t talk, just stop talking.
The questions also, children should not be allowed to ask “Why?”. It’s very common here to ask “why?”. It’s not their job to ask you all the time questions, that’s not their style, because it’s very wrong. That gives very big ego to them from very childhood. What are they asking about “why?”, why do they want to know about everything? Gradually everyone knows everything. Like on the road you are going, they will ask “What is this?”, “What is this?”, “What is this?”, there is no need to tell everything that is on the road, when they’re grown up they’ll know about it. It’s a kind of pestering that they develop, a posturing temperament, that you should say that this is this tree, this is that.
Even when they are grown up you have to tell them, what’s the use of telling them in their childhood also, all these things that they forget? So too much of knowledge, filling in the head, injecting it, is not necessary. The children should not be pushed with too much of knowledge, because if you push too much of knowledge into their heads, they will also become confused and then they will be in trouble. So let them be as they are, tell them whatever is necessary, at a very young age I feel, in the west, we give them too much of unnecessary knowledge. There’s no need to know what name of the grass is this word, what’s the name of this grass, I mean they are not going to become gardeners. Gradually let them develop that proper sense.
Aesthetics you can teach them, by saying this is good, that is good. “I like..”, if they say, No, “I like..” is not good. “I should like..”, you see they must not learn to say “I like..”, “I like it.” Also in the morning time you give them too much choice, “What will you have?”, nothing doing, whatever is good for every child should be eaten by everyone. “What will you have?”, they will say, “I will have rice thing.”, another will say, “I will have this thing.” What’s the difference? It is the same, “I will have popcorn”, “I will have that.”, all ego developing.
That is how people become so egotistical, ego oriented, suddenly they jump onto a horse, I mean can you understand? If you are kind to somebody you should be obliged and you should feel that they have been kind, instead of that, they feel “Oh I must be the Lord of the whole world.” It happens. The reason is this is from early childhood they have not kept to themselves. Why should they have choices? In the morning whatever is cooked they should have, why should there be choices. Choice is one thing that leads you to ego.
I mean in America, as I told you, every tile is different, it’s all like that. It looks nice, doesn’t matter, but I like it, another fellow won’t buy the house because I don’t like that tile. I like this very much, I do not like this. Like yesterday, the gentleman said that if somebody doesn’t want to have or like to have a personal God. I mean if he doesn’t want to have, let him go to Hell. That’s all one can answer. You cannot say I like this or I like a God like this, I want God to hang by a tree, is it going to be done for the liking of a person? That’s how a person becomes absolutely arbitrary and out of the collective. So this is what one has to teach the children, “I like..” is not allowed.
“I hate” is another word should not be allowed, “I hate”, this is a very wrong word. Children should never learn such a bad word, it should be told that our language has to be very good. You are all Sahaja yogis, we have to use very good language and we are not to get angry. We have to have gracious language, that’s very important. Even I have seen grown up Sahaja Yogis sometimes behave in such a funny manner when they get into fights you see. They oppress, others, they don’t use their claws, but still. I am amazed that they talk like this, how can you talk when you are understanding that we are Sahaja yogis, you are saints and you have to talk like saints, in a gracious manner, not in a temper. Not in a degrading manner or in any way putting them down even with your children, if you talk to them with dignity.
Like you see even we have to scold children, we give them more dignity. You say like in English ‘”thou”. “Now thou will be seated.” So the child gets a fright “what have I done?”. Instead of using you we use “thou” you see. “You the sir come here.” So the sir gets a fright and says “why, what have I done.”
That’s how we spoil, our servants also we spoil like that, so they get a fright, “Why is it today it is said.” But not to use abuses, not to use anything bad, not to beat children. If they are extremely funny, arrogant, it is all right. Once in a while it’s all right, sometimes you need to slap them.
Some of the children are really very sinister type. That’s all right but, that’s very rarely because most of them are realized souls and they won’t trouble you so much, I’m sure they will come round.
Now the husband and wife also should not quarrel too much, I think there no reason to quarrel, it’s better to keep quiet. If there is any argument, just keep quiet, it will work out. Quarrelling, shouting is not allowed with Sahaja yogis. Moreover in the presence of children you should never show that. Whatever happens, happens within yourself, come out with it and be kind to each other, in the presence of children it should not be seen. Sometimes, of course, they want to give a vent to their temper or something, but gradually you will find with Sahaja Yoga as it grows your temper will calm down. You will see the whole joke and laugh at it and it will really be alright.
But it happens like that with people, when you start correcting each other especially, you don’t like it, other people correcting you. Better look after it on individual side. Too much concern for say, “Mother, my wife is like this, now what to do?”, forget it. See she has to improve she’ll improve, but if you go on all the time bothering me or bothering anyone it is no good.
Because your husband has no meaning in Sahaja Yoga that way, because your husband is your husband as long as he behaves himself. And your wife is your wife as long as she behaves herself as a Sahaja yogi, otherwise she is no more there, it is like that. So it is better to leave him alone or leave her alone and don’t bother too much about it. How the wife is, how the husband is and this and that, because that’s another trap that you fall into and go into another circle. So better shoot off straight that I have to develop myself individually higher and higher I have no traps, nothing. Others have to improve, if they see me improve, they will improve and we have other secret ways of improving other relations too. We should try all those, but not to save us because by arguments, by saying things we are not going to do that. That’s how our family system is going to improve.
We should also get to our parents and other people who are related to us, brothers and sisters, if it is possible, but in case they are not fitted, just forget it. Just have nothing to do with them. They are nowhere there, they do not exist for you. Try to show that you are not their relations, gradually you will see we have no relations. Because your responsibility finishes at the time when they refuse to come to God. So that’s what it is and it is the greatest thing you want to give to your relations. You tell them, this is the greatest thing that you can have from us. We give the presents, say we give them money, we give them parties, dinners, all that, it is of no value. What we are going to give you is the highest and why not take the highest? That is what we have to give you, why not take that? Like that if you talk to them, but in a way that’s not fanatic, in a loving, affectionate manner, as if you really want to do something good to them and then it will work out.
These relations are like that, I mean say my relations, all of them they were never near Sahaja Yoga. Gradually, one by one they started coming in, I didn’t bother, it doesn’t matter, I was absolutely alone. Some of them opposed me very much, even now, I find sometimes it happens, doesn’t matter. It’s nothing important. You should have your own way, in the sense that you know what you are doing. But don’t be harsh with them, don’t be unkind, send them a Christmas card, send them some presents, some flowers. Gestures of goodness can be done, but not to spoil them, they should not take you for granted, on the contrary your gesture should bring them round. Gradually you will find that they lose interest in you and you should lose interest in them.
It’s not important to be with your relations and be with your family so much. Of course, now we are Sahaja Yoga family naturally it is important that we should also be good and we should have very good relationships with each other no doubt. But for that, how far to go is a discretion which one must develop, how far to go? Most important thing is how far you go with yourself.
So now this is the relationship I’ve told you about, to your children and to your families and other members of your family. Then the members of your neighborhood also if there is somebody sick, then you can go and help them. I think you can put up a board here saying “Kundalini Awakening”. Put up a board like that and maybe people may like to come to Sahaja Yoga for good health. Good health and wealth something like that you could put and people would come now to do Sahaja Yoga. That’s how they would come round. I think it would be a good idea to have a big sign board so that people start coming to you and so you can start a school here for the neighbors for their children.
We have so many little children and start a little school here that can work out for children and they will have some good company. It will be very nice. You should love each others children very much, there should be no sort of a disparities or you should not feel that you love your child more. The child should be attached to everyone. That’s the sign of a good child, now with your relationships with your neighbors, you should be careful with people who are troublesome people, beat them with shoes and give them bandhans and this and that, but those who are good people, talk to them nicely, smile at them, tell them so they will come round and you can feel a feeling of brotherliness with your neighbors.
You have to be kind with your neighbors, that’s very important. But “Love thy neighbor as thy self” means only after realization, because they become part and parcel of you. But the neighbor has to be a realized soul. If he’s not, he’s no more a neighbor to you.
So try to get out as soon as possible in the neighborhood. Then in your city also you have to see what’s going on in the city. What’s there, how many organizations are there, what are they doing? How many types of people are doing meditation, find out from them what they’re doing, attend their meetings. Tell them it’s not true, you must not believe into all these things, these are hoax people and whatever you can talk about you can talk. Tell them what you have suffered from. Like now the raktabeja is coming, some of you can go and sort of protest that “You’re the one who has given problems to so many.”, like that.
So all that can be done and find out other people who are lost and hippies and you can talk to them and get some of them to go with you. All of the seekers who are around you should go out and find out about them and then should also talk to people like the one I met in the radio is a seeker. Such people they are in places where they matter, like you can talk to them. You can go and talk to the Mayor of this place. We did that in Reding and all that, these mayors are very helpful, very kind. Also to police officers tell that we want to be good citizens, we are good people we want to do this and if you find anybody like that we’ll try to help. We were like this and we were helped by this, they will be good.
Also to the Government people talk to them, they will understand. Now in India the Government is extremely kind to Me and somehow or other they recognize me. They can establish your bona fide is also, when they ask you what I am they will know that I am bona fide of a Government Service, that’s how you can establish. Like yesterday when Warren was talking to them about me they felt something bona fide. So this is how it works out.
Now about having the programs, you must have kind of a campaign to go round and talk to people and tell them about it. They should know that you exist. Of course we cannot do like Hare Rama Hare Krishna, standing in the streets. But we should go and talk to teachers and other institutions and tell them that if there are children who are difficult, who try to treat them and we will help you out, like that. Then another thing would be that we have to get to people who are suffering on account of all the gurus. You can advertise in the newspaper “Those who have suffered on account of going to some Gurus can be rectified.”
Then take information from them, write it down, whatever information you can get and we can form an organization which gives information about these gurus, what they’re up to. There is one organization like that in Paris which was worked out by Marie and her husband, but we can have an international connection like that. So all of you can work it out, what they’re doing to people and what’s happening.
Also a newsletter is a good idea. Like now I’ve come here, you can send a message to all the people that Mother came and it was very hot and She said: “I’ll do something about”, and She slept, then in the evening it was all cool. How things worked out, all these things if you write to Nirmala Yoga, they’ll write it down and send it to Me. Like that you see, you are in circulation. You send your names to people, actually, I don’t even have your photographs. I think you all should have a photograph in a proper album and send it to me so that I can go through it.
So many things can be done. Now as it is you have seen how we have worked it out with some tricks you see, getting some people over here. In the same way, you have to try some more tricks and see that more people come in. So this is what I have been trying to tell you.
Have an open heart and an open place and an open house where people can come down here, receive them. But you should, they should know that you exist in the community. Maybe if you want, you can take to some sort of a dress or something, maybe white or something like that which will appeal to them more. I don’t know what attracts the attention of these people, you can’t be punks, but they should know that you exist and that we’re doing something about it. So on various levels you should see what you can do all the time. Think about it, what you can do for the future. Who can you see? Which one of you can go and see the offices? If you know someone is sick, can you go and help them? Some people went and helped us, you know the actress in Bombay, and that gave us big booster.
Sorry I couldn’t talk to you much before, the time was spent more on correcting the problems of this household. This house has problems and I think that if you do a havan here it would be a good idea. Also if you can get some lemons for me which have not been cut or anything, then I’ll just vibrate them and if you put them in four corners you might get a lemon tree that might protect you. But now it’s alright, it’s much better, it’s not so bad as it was before. You did a very good job yesterday I must say, the way it was decorated.
Now you can bring the things that you bought to be given to Me. Yesterday you see, I went shopping for three reasons, something I have to buy for myself, something for you and something for the Indian Sahaja yogis. Because you see, in the pujas they give you something and I want to return something that they have given Me and for you people I have given to the Sydney people some silver lamps. You must have seen them, two silver lamps. Like they say you have given me four hundred dollars for the Puja, so I thought what’s the use of taking the money, so I’ll have buy something sensible which I’ll be having all the time with me. I’ll have written on it something like “Presented by Perth Sahaja yogis.” Its a very nice thing made in Australia, that’s the point.
To find something made in Australia is very difficult, I was so fed up yesterday and then I found lots of things made in Australia, I was very happy. They are doing a good job, I must say. They’re quite decorative by temperament really. They’ve done a very good job. I don’t know from where they get this silver. But the priorities of people are so funny, we found plastic the most expensive and then the glass and then the crystal which is molded and the cheapest was the crystal that was hand cut. The silver plated was the very cheapest.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi