Talk Before Marriages, Kew Ashram, Melbourne (Australia), 15 March 1985.
Tomorrow we have decided to have the weddings in the evening time so, there are, how many people are getting married? Can you give Me the list of people? Yes. So many people are getting married. Now tomorrow, as the time is very short, as we have, they’ll be arriving tomorrow morning and they’ll be all be sleeping off, all the brides and bridegrooms, and I don’t know…
Nine of you, so there are still seven coming. All right, how many girls, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, where’s the ninth? Who? Sydney, all right. So we have nine. So what I’m saying, that you have to have, choose your own, one man has to have one brother, younger, one of the younger boys, you can have one little boy as the brother or one unmarried man. Then you have to have girls who are flower girls. All right. Then you have to have one, uncle, of yours, some uncle has to be there. So this is the relation we need, is for girls to have father and mother and the boy to have either a uncle or mother, one of the two. All right. Do you follow that point? So out of you nine at least you decide now, who will you have, and the boys, little boys will be the brothers of the wife, so you select brothers of the wife, and the girls will be the flower girls. And the bride has to have one more thing, is a bridesmaid, which should be a little grown-up girl, who has to look after the bride. Did you follow the point?
So how many people all together? Same. Me, I’m out of it. Every girl, flower girl, should be general, flower girls need not be belonging to any girl as such. But she needs a sister, younger sister. Yes, yes, at least a father or a mother, one of the two. At least, at least. All right. This is what you have to select.
So, now the program is such that tomorrow all the boys have to, all the girls have to come round at about five o’clock, and they’ll be applied with haldi. It will take about ten minutes as you know. After that the girls will go for their baths. Then the boys will be applied the haldi. After that the boys will go and take their baths and go to this place nearby, what you call? Motel, you are there. So the boys go down there. So we finish at about, say, the whole thing from haldi to going there and going in a procession whatever it is – you have to get some cars for them to come down, altogether should be by seven o’clock you should be here.
So girls should be ready about say six-thirty. They should be ready by six-thirty. So they do the Gauri Puja in half an hour’s time. By that time the boys arrive, so girls are there ready to receive them. Say we can put it, girls will do even earlier than that. So the girls are ready beforehand, so they have time, like five o’clock, they come, do it, ten minutes, have their baths, this, that. And then start getting ready. They should try to be ready say five-thirty. They finish this in one hour’s time. So whatever you need to be ready with, you just keep with yourself and as soon as you finish your bath you start getting ready. So you are ready, say, by about seven o’clock. The boys should arrive here whence about seven-five, or so. The girls will be standing in the line, the boys will arrive, and then they’ll be given garlands. Then the father or mother or both of them of the girl will go and do the aarti and invite the boy to come inside. And then they will be garlanded. First the girl has to garland, and then the boy has to garland. All right. When the girls are moving, all the flower girls must be ready with the flowers, and they have to shower flowers on the way. And all of them should stand in one line and the little boys should be with the brother, as brothers should be also standing with the girl, so the little boys and the sisters all walk forward. But the mother and father now go to the fire and sit there till they have garlanded, or they can come at the back of the boy, and carry them to the fire. All right. Correct?
Then we have the ceremony. And after the ceremony we’ll have the rice cooked by Me. What we call pilaf. Which I cooked for people in Sydney, but I didn’t do that for Melbourne, so I want to do it. All right. Then next day we are having in the morning time, we are having the puja. Its not a very long puja because we’ll not have havan so it will be from say about eleven till one o’clock. Then the rice that will be left over will be eaten after that, so that you don’t have to bother to …Then you have to prepare, at seven o’clock we are going to have here the workshop. Any questions?
Yes, ornaments you see, all these ornaments are actually given, at the time when the girl is doing her, you see this, she gets, she does all her washing and all that and she gets ready, when she takes her bath, you see, she wears another sari, and she comes out, she comes in the room where everybody sits down and they are given these ornaments by the boys’ side. So somebody, the mama or somebody maybe the mother or mama of that, should come and give those ornaments to the girl. All right. When the ornaments are given, then they go away and the girls start dressing up fully, they go away and then they go round with the boys dressed and arrive here about five minutes past seven. Keep it that way. All right. What else? I hope you have got dresses and all that for the (…?) He has done a good job, very fast. And the presents, have you got them? For the bride and bridegroom? Tomorrow morning I am thinking I am going to get something, present.
Now one more thing I have to tell you. Anybody who can do it. That you must get Me the list of children, and their age groups. Say, from sixteen downwards. Sixteen to fourteen, then fourteen to twelve, like that. We have the age group, like that. Alright. Tomorrow morning, if someone can give it tonight, I will be very thankful. And the small babies also.
We have to get the presents. Any other question? You find out, whichever is good. Modi is there, he is going to do it. All right. So do that. It is going to be about at the most one hours ceremony, I have to still – with Modi I have to do all that. Now the other people who are not getting married, should not run away with the boys, but there’s not going to be any procession; are we going to have any procession? All right.
So the only thing what they can do when the boys arrive here, just entering inside they can just, inside the road, we can have that kind of a thing. A small procession. From the gate, to this place. But you’ll have to become one horse. But you can come in the car, don’t walk down. All right. Yes. And the boys will be given their clothes and all that, tonight? Or tomorrow. When they go, you see when they’ll have the haldi you can’t give them, but after taking your baths you see they can take it. So what you do after taking baths they can take it from you. But when they are playing with the haldi, nothing of the kind. No, no, they have to have their baths, here, accha, you do one thing bring some sort of a dressing gown, wipe you faces, go in your dressing gown. You want to do the, here the bathing. That’s a better idea. You find out that. As long as you wipe your face and come… Look sensible. What you can do is cover yourself with some sheets. Walk like…
Now, is going to be a nice time tomorrow but I hope you start the music and all that tomorrow morning. Music – somebody should be in charge at that time. We need lots of music. So shennai and all that we should start in the morning. Now what about haldi? You got that mehendi, have you got mehendi? You’ve got. So that has to be done tonight for girls. Somebody has to do that tonight or tomorrow morning. So you do one thing, do that tonight and then tomorrow again, those people will be coming so we can do it tomorrow to them.
Before they go off to sleep you should do it. As soon as they come so finish half of them and the rest can be done. That can be done tonight. Children are quite excited. You haven’t seen the weddings you see but they came on the horses. Here there are no horses, otherwise we should have brought them on horses. Once we had fifty-four couples, can you imagine, one hundred and eight. See sixteen is a good idea, now only sixteen now. Nothing exceeding. Ah? fifteen all right. Now can I take your leave?
May God bless you.