Advice on small children in ashram Meli. Vienna (Austria), 9 July 1986.
[Unclear] which are going to the Primary Schools. But even those who are not going to Preschools are the small children when they are born. And that`s the time one has to be much more important. Because that`s the time they are the most impressionable is when they are born.
I have given some instructions for the children: how to do all the things when the child is born, how the mother must be respected for 40 days and how the child must be looked after and massaged and all those things, I hope you have got all these things with you. But certain thing in that, I didn`t mention which are like medicines and things like that, simple medicines that should be given to children. The reason is, your thing was prepared by Lewis and I couldn`t tell him all that. But, for example, a very simple thing is like this.
Supposing they are boiling the milk for the baby with some water, if they are mixing up water and milk. Then the problem is, if you separately boil them and mix, then the child will get cold and constipation or maybe diarrhea. But mostly constipation and cold, and nose will be always running. So basically, you give a child a problem, that this cold might continue forever.
So, what you have to do is to boil both the things together, together. Start from the un-boiled state to the boiled state, boil it, fully boil it. It’s not that you put it to a temperature, but fully boil it. Then keep it in a thermos flask or wherever you want to put it and that milk can be heated together and given to the child, whenever you want to put it and that milk can be heated together and given to the child, whenever you want. If you want to put it in the fridge you can put it, but the water and the milk must be boiled together, that`s the point that is very important.
Then I have also seen that some children have very thin body, very low weight, some children have. So, you must immediately find out if the child has got liver. Could be the child could have got this liver in the hospital, because they are born Realised children and, in the hospital, when the child is born, there might be hepatitis going on or something. Children will catch this and they get jaundice and things.
Now for all these children, there`s a very good medicine is to boil the radish leaves, put some candy sugar in it and give that as a medicine and don`t give water to little babies, up to a point, you see, say about, say about when they are about 6 months or so. In the water, you can give that radish leaves, even earlier you can do it. You warm it up a little bit and give it; you can mix it up with candy sugar, the taste may not be so good, but it`s the medicine for the children, for small children.
Because, if you do not give them proper liver in childhood, basically they`ll always have this trouble. So, try to soothe their liver by saying Chandrama`s mantras and put the left hand on that and try to soothe it down and take vibrations from the photograph and see that the liver of the children is down.
Now, when liver is out of this thing, then children have one problem is that they don`t drink milk enough, then they become thin children and the face looks little pale also. And when they have an inactive liver, then they get rashes very easily. When the liver is inactive, and for that ,you immediately must start them on calcium. If they start getting rashes or any kind of a this thing, then you should start giving them what you call calcium. And this calcium can be in any form. But in any case, if the children are getting rashes and all that, you should also give them Vitamin A and D, A and D.
Through adoxylene [squalene] is one very good thing for children is, the adoxylene [squalene] , is the oil of the shark, shark oil. And you take the spoon and fill it with milk and put one drop in the centre of the thing. So, when you give it to the child he takes it as a milk but it goes, the drop inside. One drop is sufficient, in the morning or in the evening, and that at very young age you can start adoxylene [squalene], a very young age, it is very good for Vitamin A and D, it gives them good bones and good body.
Now we find some children are rather skinny type, their muscles are not developed. And for developing better muscles nothing like massage, with say olive oil or something. Give a good massage, plus this adoxylene [squalene]. Massage is important, with olive oil, the body should be massaged with olive oil, but the best massage is with ghee or butter, not on the head. On the head should be done with say any oil, best is of course, they say so, that best is coconut oil because only on the head; but on the body should be of ghee or butter, is the best massage for children. Because it has Vitamin A and Vitamin D in the butter. Butter is the best thing for the body, you see, and nicely rub it in the body, it`s very good and the skin becomes very nice.
Dr Rustom: Also, common butter or must be ghee?
Shri Mataji: Better is butter.
Dr Rustom: Butter. Normal butter.
Shri Mataji: Yes. But it has smell that`s why, but you can mix some saffron in it or something to smell it better, because butter has it`s own thing, they use butter it`s very good for the children.
On vibrations you should correct them first of all see, so the child should be very healthy. Must have lot of health and muscles developed. And it`s a modern idea that the child should be thin, he should not have any fat, it’s a wrong idea. But that is the time the child accumulates fat and later on he grows on that fat, it`s like a food to the child. So, this idea that the child should not have any fat, it is modern ideas, will make people very, very weak you see, this will make them very, very weak. So, that`s not the thing, the child must look healthy and must have fat and also must have proper muscle development. So that is important and for the bones I told you, you have to give children what you call a lot of calcium for bones. Calcium is important, in any form.
In India, you get very nice things, calcium of which one year old children love it you see, if you give them they will go on eating and eating that calcium up. But there is one thing called “calcarea carb” in the homeopathic which you can use, if the children like also. Homeopathic is good for children but you must have a sensible one to do it you see, sometimes these can have a funny effect. So “calcarea carb” they use for calcium but if you can get calcium nothing like it. But calcium is there in milk and the milk can be, if it is too much, what you call buttery or anything, that should be removed. It should not be fatty but it should not be absolutely devoid of fat, that`s the point is; should be a little fat there, plus the milk, that gives them calcium also.
And putting them in the sun, in the morning time. You see you need not open the doors, but just keep them, just keep the door closed and when the sun is coming, in that sun just to rub, for small children, rub nicely on their body this
butter and put them in the sun for a while, but not their face or their head. Even face for the western people is alright because you like a complexion which is sort of little brownish; so it`s good for you, but not for Indians, Indians will become black. So best is olive oil or anything you massage on the face and they`ll get tanning permanent, they don`t have to go for tanning anywhere, so it`s very good for that.
Now all these little little things I didn`t say but for childhood it is important to see that you develop, give them basic good things, is one of them is very good muscles, very good bones and very good liver.
Now there are some children who are born alright but because of their mothers or fathers being very overactive; they develop a new disease called overactivity of the child. So such a child must be immediately removed from the parents, especially from the mother, because they get if from the mother, you can find out from the character of the mother and should be sent to some other ashram to be looked after, so that the child doesn`t get that influence on the thing, and then try to put everything that is possible to put his liver right by putting some ice on the liver or things like that and putting left to the right, left to the right; that`s the way you should cure, because this is a terrible disease that has started now, all over the world, the overactivity of the child. The child cannot sit for one minute, he runs about. It can be also with bhoots, if there is a bhoot also the child cannot sit for five minutes, you see the bhoot makes him run out, go here and go there, and the other could be this; but that you should verify on vibrations, what is the thing is. Accordingly the child must be treated, so what the purpose is that we must give very basic beautiful foundation to the child so that later on his health doesn`t bother.
Start your children as when they are very very small, as very precious things but it should not be all the time clinging to the mother, sitting on the lap of the mother all the time because then the child will never grow. The child should not be allowed to be carried all the time and you must note it down how much time the child has been on the lap, with others also. The child should be on the lap of anyone; altogether.. say it sleeps for about more than 12 hours; more than 12 hours it sleeps; so at the most one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, altogether, it should be in the lap of the mother and it should not be hanging to the mother all the time or clinging to the mother, it should be away because the heat of the mother’s body is much more than that of the child and that generation of heat you see, because the heat always passes to the less heat so the child’s growth becomes stunted. So the best thing is not to allow the child to be with anyone, anyone of us, the child should be put on the cot or should be made to play or it should be made to lie down on the Mother Earth anywhere, whereever you want to; but not to touch the child too much; that is important.
But there’s one thing more that you see, the child should be nursed by mothers but you should find out if the child is full or not by giving him bottle little bit in between. If the child sucks in the milk then you should know that the child is not fully fed. You should not just depend on the mother, little bit start giving the bottle, from the very beginning, so that you will know immediately if the child is hungry or not. If your child sucks in quite a lot of milk, then know that it is not sufficient and then you see, then the child also will take to bottle very easily. Later on you won’t have problem
forcing the child, from the very childhood the child should feel the nipple so he know’s that it’s an artificial one, doesn’t matter, it takes it. Otherwise when they are grown up they will never take it. But the nursing of the mother must be stopped at 10 months at any cost. After 10 months they should not be nursed from the mother, so gradually the mother must also take a detached way of the whole thing and should get rid of nursing the baby because if you nurse the baby further with the mother’s milk it’s not that nourishing. Our milk should be first of all tested. Some milk will suit one person, another milk will suit another person. So when you are testing the thing then you will know that this milk is alright for the child, only you use that. Milk is the only nourishment, as you can see clearly now so you have to be careful about boiling it, keeping it clean, very important. There should be a ritual taught to the woman when she is pregnant. You better have classes for this to the women, how they should be.
Now, cleaning of the child, how to clean the child because Indian girls don’t know your modern methods you see. You use these plastic things and all those, we don’t use in India. But personally I don’t like them myself if you ask me. It’s very funny you see, you tie the child, you tie up the child with say plastic and the business is in the plastic, which are giving the rashes. You can have rashes, you can have anything. So in India, what we do is very simple, I don’t know if you can do that. You see before tying any plastic or anything to the child, what we do is to use another thing from the saris which have been used, cotton sarees you see, now you will be having lots of cotton saris which have been discarded from every tour and all that. You wash them nicely and just take a square, not to stitch or anything, a square of the cloth. Now see if there’s a square of a cloth I can see here, there is a square. Now the square of the cloth not stitched anywhere, is taken like this and is just given a little knot here, that’s all, and napkin is formed. If there is a knot, then we put the child in here, you see, and we put a little cotton in for the child in front. Then we push this in from here and put a knot there, just a knot, no stitching is done. Take this inside this you see, it is stitched – not stitched, it is knotted, a little knot, you can stitch it also if you like and then tie it. And this nappy is very easy to wash and should not be disposed, you can wash it again and again. The more you wash it the softer it will be for the child. But this will not allow another plastic to touch the child you see and the child should not be tt much in the plastic also. So the best thing to do is for about 3 months of old child, should be given a prectice of how to use a potty. You see if you try to make the child understand to use a potty, you don’t need that.
But till 3 months a child, this thing is very important for mooladhara. You should use cotton, cotton is better for mooladhara. These hard things that you use for the child just crab him down, is very bad, and also one of the reasons is, if you dress the mooladhara like that then it goes on sides, and that creates other problems. So best thing is just to make it a soft thing like that, push it inside and make a nice knot here and keep it soft for the baby. And the plastic should be outside or rubber or whatever you put on, should be outside, but that too for a short time, not all the time, it’s very common here, and then the baby, you see, when he wets also you don’t change. He goes on wetting, 3 times, 5 times, 6 times, it’s all there, imagine, acid, imagine that acid that is there, that burns that soft skin of the child. Everytime a child wets in India we remove it and put it off, because we never use any plastics. Immediately the child wets it we know. And what we use instead of the plastic below this, a kind of thing called as “bogadi”, which is nothing but a thing like this, a towel like that you see. Cloth only, and stitched together. So we use this to put the child all the time so that down below the thing doesn’t get spoiled. And below this they use a mackintosh or something. But child bearing is easy, but giving birth to a child is difficult and all ladies must know that these are realised souls and they have to be given proper attention for 3 months. It is difficult to look at because it’s not very handy, but 3 months the women must look after the children very carefully you see.
So this is what these small things I didn’t tell about the very small children which are there. Then at that age, at that small age, everybody will not touch the child, that’s not proper. You must wash your hands, lifting the child, be careful, till 3 months. When the child is 3 months old then, then it can be given to other people but even it it is given, is just given in the lap, even earlier, covered up properly then and given, so that nobody touches the child as such. And kissing and all that should not be done of the child. At the most you can kiss on the head, here or here, so far away so that it doesn’t go into the body of the child or something. And then when the child is 3 months old, then you give the child to others but be careful how you handle the child. Some people really don’t know how to handle a child. The way they lift the child they pull both the arms like this and lift it, never lift the child so. Always put your hands around on the sides and lift the child, like that, always. So, putting the arms like that and lift the child or always like this, never never with the hands like this, it’s important because there’s one very serious thing develops which westerners do not know. When this bone goes out of order, we call it “hustly”. You see, “hustly” is an ornament we wear up to here. When this goes out of order it sort of dislocates this bone and the child, the child cannot suck in mother’s breast, he cannot suck in the nipple or anything, and this is difficult to set in.
But that is, can be taught to you, how to set in, if some child is like that I can show you how. Is that you put the child on the ground, put this foot on his bottom like this from the pressure, and take both the hands and bring it down from their shoulder, the child will cry a lot. Four, five, six times, seven times and you will here a sudden sound. But in India they are experts, they just lift the child with the head and pull it down. So it works out but that’s an experts job so I will not say it but you can do it like that. Then the child starts taking milk, if the child doesn’t suck the milk from the mother, if it starts crying sucking the milk then this is the problem is, one should know. So that is a thing which westerners do not know, I know for definate they do not know.
There was a Westernized Indian lady, her child had this problem, they went to America, they went everywhere, they said this is some disease we do not know, they gave a name of something. I said it’s very simple, you bring it to me, just put it right. He said “Is it Divine work” and I said “No, it’s manual”, it’s manual. (We have to see the technique). No, you see, you cannot show because you have to put the foot to his bottom and all that and then pull him down you see, like that. Sit on the ground yourself, put this there. No, no, no, the shoulders (you pull the whole shoulders forward), the whole shoulders like this. The child has to lie down and when you pull it. the child will move so you have to put your foot on the bottom to hold that with your leg, like that.
Then there’s another thing which I do not know if you people know about children. It will be a boy or a girl but mostly you find the mammary glands working in them, their breasts can be filled with milk, the children. They have breasts filled with milk, small children. This I don’t know if you people know, they cry and weep and you don’t know. So if you press their breasts a little hard, you’ll find the milk coming out of their breasts. It is very common, every child practically has it I think. So what we do in India always when the child is born; you see we call them as midwives but they are wise, they are old ancient type of ladies you see, they know this job. So they press the breast and the milk comes out of it but you see later on it dies out. I mean they cry, weep and then it clears out but then they can develop troubles of the breast or of the lungs with that, you see, later on. So basically, it should be cleared out in childhood, this is very important.
And then there’s another thing which perhaps you people do not know. We put the very clean thumb, make it also antisceptic with whatever, and press the tonsils on both the sides and also on top so that, I have no tonsils, I never get tonsils trouble. So tonsils can never grow after that, just tonsils cannot grow and this upper; what is that called, jubila, that also doesn’t grow, so you don’t have that problem. It’s a very simple thing is to be done to children.
Nor for the eyes to be cleaned out properly and kajal must be put. Now to make a simple kajal what we do is to burn some camphor and collect the camphor soot on a silver plate, silver plate is cooling. And then mix it up with some nice butter, clean butter, or ghee, ghee is better, with ghee, very clean nice ghee, you mix it up. And then put it under water, let the water clean it for some time and then when it is completely drained out, the water will not stick because it is all ghee, then put it in a proper thing and use your, this finger, every day for the child. After bath, every day because that will give them a very sharp eyes and there won’t be any problem of the eyes for quite some time. Morning bath, we don’t give evening baths in India, only morning baths, we give, but evening what we do is to give them a nice massage before sleeping and put some powder, clean the body and make them sleep. But while putting the powder you must remember, the powders here are no good. We have very good powders in India, very simple, because we don’t have chemicals, thank God.
So before putting the powder, put something on the face so that they don’t breathe in the powder, of here. But powder, I gave you the other one, the Indian one you see, sandalwood powder; so simple to use (doesn’t dry the skin), no, no doesn’t dry. Thank God we are not developed to have chemicals, we haven’t got chemicals. Our soaps do not have chemicals, our toothpastes do not have chemicals. We don’t have chemicals, they are very expensive. This is an advantage in a way, now people should realise in India but they would like us to take soaps from England, toothpaste from England; they don’t use Indian things. Yes, and these tabacco or all tabacco scents are from tobacco; all these things are. Even most of your scents are like that, I think 99.9 percent scents are made from something very filthy. And for children, don’t use plastic bowls, plastic, these things, cups and that, not plastic. How long does it take you see, in our family, for every child we would have one silver bowl, one silver thing and a silver spoon, that’s not wise. But if you say, have one, then we give as a present always a silver spoon to the child. But supposing in the ashram someone has a child, then that can be kept cleaned out properly and that.
But supposing somebody is a badish women; badly, like Jane was, Gavin’s wife, and she had this; for Olympia, though Olympia has cleared out herself, but she made a crib for the child and the same crib was used by Djamal’s child and the child was all possessed and I went to see the child. And I was amazed, I said what’s happening, why is she crying so much. He said, I don’t know Mother, when you came, since then she’s crying so much. Then I felt the vibrations and the crib had horrible vibrations. So I asked whose crib is this and they said this belongs to Jane, I said throw it away, and I sent another crib; throw it away I said, and I got also luckily a beautiful crib for them, crib is a swinging thing, and they threw it away and the child was better. So for a realised soul you must see the vibrations of the whole thing.
So this is for very little small children. Then you have got children who are in Montessori, I mean, there is so many things that will be coming up, you see, like nails, how to keep them clean, this, that. But very much attention is to be paid for 3, 3 year old and the mother must be absolutely dedicated to that. She should look after the child and all that. But
that does not mean that mother should be attached; should not do anything else but child has to be attended to. After that you start your say – at six months you take your children for or 1 year, 2 years old – (To the Montessori?). Yes. (2 years). So till that, 2 years of age, you see, it is sort of a creche condition. Then in the creche condition the children should talk to other people, call them uncle, auntie or respect of this thing, respect of puja, everything of Mataji. If you like that, till 2 years of age it will be great.
Now what I have seen now is that in the beginning we look after the physical side of the child very much, but physically, they don’t understand at that time the emotional style so much, but physically they should be looked after. Later on, the ego part is to be looked after, that’s the time they develop ego, between say 3 months and 2 years. Ego starts developing more, starts developing, I’m not saying developed fully but it starts developing from that age. Because if you give and give bottles to the child, or something like that, it starts. So you have to love also because emotion is there, emotional side is there very much at that time. So you give them love but also tell them to respect, respect you, respect elders, respect Mataji, respect themself and that, respect is to be taught at that age.
Once they start doing namaste and once they start saying good morning at that age, little little things you see, and you sort of reward them for that and say “Oh very nice, say good morning”, then you can give a kiss for that.
Then they understand this is something good is happening. That’s the most impressionable age as far as the respect and the nobler feelings to be developed at that age. Like you give to him, then give the child to another one, then another lady looks after the child, the child becomes everybody’s property, not your property. See then the child you see sort of starts developing that collectivity and also mooladhara. Because, you see if you are just used to one person as a mother, you see, anybody else you come in contact after puberty has a sex feeling. But if you are already touched those noble feelings at the innocence time then you don’t have this nonsense. So just allow the child to be sat with everyone, talk to everyone but still sleeping in the parents room.
So the child should be allowed to be slept alone but in parents room till the age of 2 years in any case. But not with the parents, that’s a wrong idea, because the poor child can get crushed or anything can happen better to keep the child till 2 years in another crib. But when they are grown up, say after 2 years or so, they can sleep in another room together in collectivity, all the children, but somebody should be there, an adult, to see how it is. Then they should not belong to anyone personally. Let them be together away from the parents, that’s important. After 2 years, try to keep them more away from the children, more from 2 years. Then by the time 6 years they become independent children, they start, but respect elders, calling everybody properly, talking to them, very behaved.
So after 6 years of age they are really mature, good children, after 6 years. Then they take to their education, you see. But it is said till 5 years that you can beat your children in case they are not good. If they are naughty, you should take them in a room and tell them once, that if you don’t behave properly, we will beat you. But talk to them separately, not in the presence of others, not to shout, don’t do that, not that. That should never be corrected, the child should never be corrected in the presence of others. Take him to the room and tell him. “See now, we are going to see
Mataji, now Shri Mataji is the Goddess, you have to behave like that. We are going to go to their house, you are not to ask for anything, you have to keep quiet, you have to behave.” And that is the age when you can start telling them what is self-respect is. They will think you are a son of a beggar, if you start begging things they will call you a beggar. We should behave like people with dignity, you are like a king now, you are a realised soul, all these ideas should be pushed into their heads at that age of 6 years. And I think this is why Indian children will never never ask for anything, no question. He might be a beggar’s child also, he will never ask, give me this, give me that, it is never so, howsoever it may be tempting for a child. And for parents also, they behave like that, don’t trouble parents.
Then another thing is asking questions, by children, it should not be allowed, at all till 6 years, they should not be allowed you should tell them something and asking questions should not be allowed, so what is this, what is that, not to be allowed. If they say anything – “you’ll understand this, you’ll find out yourself”, very important. You should not allow them to ask questions. You give them questions, you hear their problems, but don’t ask them to trouble you so the habit will not develop. Now the, you see like western habit is funny because they become liabilities on you all their lives, they’re liabilities – “what to do, how to do it”, because they don’t know, they have not found out, that’s the age they staart finding out how to do it. how to manage it. how to work it out. So the tendency is more to do it yourself.
Now, they are reliant in the West I would say, as far as earnings are concerned, the boys and the girls can go and sell newspapers and earn money, that’s all. That Indians will not allow their children to do, that is not prestigious, that the child should go and earn, that’s not prestigious. But, what is prestigious for them is that the child goes and asks for something from someone. I mean is absolutely – I tell you. Even supposing now if you have a father and you are yourself 50 years of age and father is 70 years of age, now take that age. Now, if the son goes and asks somebody for borrowing money and not the father, then for it is, he might commit suicide in
India, that’s just, they can’t stand it. Why didn’t he ask me? Or supposing, even if you know your father doesn’t have money but you have to ask him so that he will arrange money for you.
But that helps because they are self-respected, respect of the family, respect of the whole generation is meant in that see family as such. And you just don’t talk about your family to others, you don’t talk about your problems to others. You see many problems are there, so it’s good, we’ll manage. It’s not a very regarded very dignified to talk – “Oh I had to sell my watch, to get my food or something” in India. Here it is regarded something very sacrificing and all that, your so pure, it’s surprising. When they have money they are all the time saying, “Oh, I’m so poor, anyway I have no money, I’m so poor, this is that I have dept. But in India they will never say so, “Oh we’ll manage”. You tell them you see, I want to have money for that, “Oh, no we’ll manage Mother. But now Sahaja Yogis are doing that, I see, Sahaja Yogis are like that, Mother we’ll manage, we can get it, we will arrange. But normally you would have said, normally, as Westerners, we haven’t got money, you see, we need money for this, money for that, money for that, always they come out with problems, normally, normally. Because I watch these films and all that, and still surprised.
So, this is how is to be taught at that age. What is to be taught in what age, we must know. Supposing you start teaching them self-rspect at the age of 40 years, you cannot. Even at 10 years you cannot, it has to be done from 2 to 6, sense of self-respect. Sense of cleanliness, sense of neatness, sense of discipline. Two to six years is very important, I think that’s the most important time because the first 3 months they are breast fed, from 3 to 2 years they still are sort of you see in between state. But 2 to 6 years is absolutely the time (sanskrit words). At the time when the pot is now made but is not yet put to the firing thing, you see we put it in the thing. Before that, whatever impressions you put on the child, that will be, in the same way, but it is first of all before the pot is made, that is till the 2 years of age. From 2 till 6, that’s the time you fire it, but before firing you put all the impressions, after 6 you fire it, but before that you put all the impressions then fire it. That’s how it is.
So it is a very simple thing to do, it’s very creative to make Sahaja Yogis. It’s the greatest artistic thing to be produced, is a human being. That’s the greatest thing God has produced also, the human being. And to make human beings something great, is something. At this age you can also find out their talents, the childs talents are, their talents. You can discover it very easiliy. What are his interests are, if they are musical you see, as soon as the music starts he will start to see the rhythm and all that, in dancing, in anyway. Whichever are their talents should be discovered and should be encouraged from the very beginning, they should be encouraged and one-sided whatever it is – don’t force everything on every child. Some children are very good at mathematics but some are not.
But that person is very good at handicrafts, let him do the handicrafts. Every knowledge is at par, there is nothing that this knowledge is higher that knowledge is higher in Sahaja Yoga. Because this is all Avidya in any case. It’s all Avidya in any case. It’s only you have to know the technique. How to produce what you feel, that’s all. And that what, when you are learning there’s nothing higher and nothing lower. So
every, whatever the child likes, let him do. Let him manage and everything can be reached. Say some children are fond of say cleaning the rooms, keeping everything clean, cooking alright. They can become hotel managers, they can run hotels and they can do all these things.
Children, you see, their aptitudes are such like. My granddaughter, the elder one, said you see, “I want to be an air hostess or a nurse”, so I said “But why, why these two professions”. She’s very clever, very intelligent. I said, why? “Because that’s the only profession into, in which you can give food to others to eat. And they play also with that you see and them become nurses and that, they should be given food, you better eat, otherwise you’ll be sick, this, that. It’s so sweet, you know that thing, these are the only two professions where you can give food to eat to others and they are so sweet and I’ve seen there aptitude is like once their mother said, “if somebody comes you must make them sit down and give them to eat, open the fan and make them feel comfortable.” So our washman, doby, came you see, and they said “you better sit on the sopha, and he would not, and they said you better sit, you have to sit on the sopha, and he would not sit, and they opened the fan and opened the fridge, whatever was there they brought for him, you better eat. When my daughter came in, she saw them, so he said, “what am I to do to stop them,” she said, “it’s alright, you better eat, she said “eat with them”. And when they give something to others you must always praise, teach them to give, that’s one thing in Indian character, you see. Supposing our children give away anything to anyone, anything, you praise that child, even say a diamond is given to another person, to any other child, we praise the child.
But the mother will return the diamond, it’s different, but we’ll praise the child alright, very good thing, you have given. Giving is a very big quality. That’s not in the west, I mean you are rich people but the style of life is very different. I was, we are poor people, we are better than you in this way. I mean, we are rich in heart, I thing, isn’t it, that’s the thing, you see. Sharing, giving, that’s it, you see. Toys, now for example, the children who just give away all the toys are better children in india, and those who don’t give away their toys keep to their’s at all times are not good children.
You see like this Bhavani’s case, I must tell you. I asked all of them, how is Bhavani, very sweet, very sweet. Alright, that’s very good, and when she came to me, I said, “bring Bhavani”, you see she had a back agnya like a coconut stone. Soon as I saw her I said “I’ll go blind with this”. Little thing like that as if a big cunning woman had taken over her and so cunning her ways were, so cunniung for a little girl of 2 years, none of us could manage her. She would not say namaste to me, she would not say good morning to me, she would not look at me, she would just walk like this. We tried for 5 days, we could not work her out, this Bhavani, horrible thing, she had no respect for me at all, then she came down and I just thought of one thing.
So I said “Bhavani, really now, this is my house, this is not your house, this is my house”. She was taken aback. “Now when you go to somebody’s house you have to say good morning. So she, first time she said “good morning”. “Now you have to say namaste”, and she said “namaste”. She was thinking that I was living in her own house or something like that attitude. They are very tricky, very cunning, these bhoots are very
cunning. She knew how to handle things, there was nothing
natural in her but nobody could make her out, can you imagine.
Of course, before me, shot off like anything, because her father as soon as he came he sat down right there and I said “what’s the matter”, and he said, I don’t know why Mother, I’m catching here on the back. So children can be very very cunning if they are bhootish and extremely clever, they will say “Oh I don’t know,” see the vibrations. You must see their vibrations, they’ll end up with cancers, I’ll tell you, or with lunacy. This girl might become, she’s already schizophrenic, already she is schizophrenic and John is the father whose so much worried, he said that even in Rome I’m told she was lap to lap and she was very much liked by everyone. She’s very sweet otherwise you know she knows how to entertain everyone but she’s very cunning and she talked like a big old lady to me and experience showed me that we are negligent about their
vibrations. We must see their vibrations all the time otherwise we would not know what they are like. (She was vomiting very often). She would, she would vomit.
Then also for the appreciation of others. If they start criticizing others you do not listen to them. When they appreciate others, listen to them. This is till the age of 6 years, again I’m saying, very important. They’ll criticize others and never never try to sort of side with anyone. If they are quarrelling with anyone, let them quarrel, let them quarrel a little, it doesn’t matter, it’ll solve their problems. But if they are quarrelling too much then bring them 2 sticks, so if you want, here’s 2 sticks, hit each other. Then they will realise. Alright give them two sticks, you want then alright have it.
Hit each other nicely and when you are both nicely wounded we will take you to the hospital, now come along, have it. So, then you see why they quarrel also, you must know,. One psychology of the child is to attract attention. The more attention, if supposing a child, child might say abusive words, if you say don’t say that, I’ll hit you for that, he’ll say it again. But you just forget about it, when he says it, it’s nothing, then the child will foreget. The whole attitude is how to attract your attention, out of sweetness, whatever it is. But when you pay attention to something good they do, then they’ll start doing good.