Talk to Sahaja Yogis, How To Be Respected, Leadership and Administration,The Hague (Holland), September 17th, 1986
Now. (Hindi aside)
So. Now to, you see, to influence other people we must know how much control we have upon ourselves also; that’s very important.
For example, some people, you see, have no proper image and they try to influence others, so it’s a mockery. Nobody gets influenced by such a person who himself has no image of his own. So, before working out the exterior, interior must be worked out.
For example, a person who always comes late to the office, and is always delayed and has no time-sense, is never respected. So when you tell people that “you should be in time”, you should be the first to arrive at the time, right time. You must always keep the time, absolutely, you should be known person for keeping time.
Say, supposing you have to go to the office at say ten o’clock, you reach office in such a way that you are there five minutes, wait outside and enter the office exactly at the time when you have to go. That punctuality is very important. That helps people, and people get an awe about you because they think that “This gentleman is so regular and I’m the one who is absolutely late”.
Also, if you tell somebody that I have to meet at such and such a time, and should be arranged at such and such a time, then you should be absolutely punctual. That is very important, that the punctuality is to be maintained by you.
Now, I’ve seen in the West specially that people get up very late and are very lazy. They walk in a limpy manner; and the whole thing shows that, you see, they are not interested in the world. They are just pushed into it; somehow or other they are doing it.
Such a person can never influence anyone, because people also see your image, that you yourself you are dragging your life somehow; so why to do the same thing, whatever he is doing he cannot tell us anything.
So that’s another reason you cannot influence people at all, if you are yourself a lazy person. So the person who has to influence others has to be early riser, he must have proper habits of sleeping, he must get up in the morning and be properly brushed, washed and everything, and should be what we call a smart man.
Now many people believe that if you try to be very sort of a person of a fashionable type, I mean that you wear dresses of fashionable style and all that – that will influence others, it’s not true. Because they think you have no conviction of any kind, you see, so you must build up an image of yourself that you are such and such. You see, a kind of a character, as we have in a drama; it’s a character. The person speaks with the same character, he talks with the same character. And the style should be absolutely known to people, that this is your style, that’s how you are, that you do not sort of compromise on things.
That is very important that when you are talking to people you must have a proper style of talking; walking – proper style. This should be all trimmed down properly, that you don’t walk in a languid manner, you see, in a manner where (you are) throwing your legs here and there, walking like that, but straight, and sit down straight. And let people see that you have faith in yourself first of all.
If you do not have faith in yourself; I mean, your any behaviour shows that you have no faith in yourself, you cannot influence others.
So your self-confidence must be shown through your all behavioural programming, like talking, sitting, walking, communicating, there should be a thing with confidence.
But the confidence comes in a person when he realises that he is completely secured. And in Sahaja Yoga, as you know, that if your centre heart is secured… if you know, tell yourself that, “Mother is with me. Mother is helping me, and I’m with Mother. I’ve nothing to worry”. Then your centre heart will be alright. Of course, this you cannot tell to others, but still if you have a personality, you can imbibe that into others very simply.
But if you are diffident about yourself then you cannot do it.
So confidence is to be established first of all within yourself. For sahaja yogis is very easy to say, “I’m the Spirit, and I’m the child, I’m the one who has been chosen by the Adi Shakti herself.”
So there should be tremendous amount of confidence in you.
Now. Say, for example, when you are, say, with the people, how do you eat your food? Some people, you see, open their mouth all the time; eat their food with a sort of a sound and all that. All these things are watched by others; how you eat, how you talk. And also, normally, you should not keep your mouth open. You can never influence people.
But keep your – not pursed either, but in a normal way – closed, like that, so that people do not think that you are just gaping at them, or if you keep your mouth open all the time. Or they should not think also that you are aggressive with them or angry, but a normal face, a – what you call – a face that is neither aggressive, nor which is subservient. So it won’t give – supposing you keep a gaping mouth, they’ll think, “He is an idiot”. And if you keep pursed your lips they will think that you are a person of aggressive nature.
So one has to understand how you are sitting before others, talking to others.
And to influence others, first of all, as I said, you must respect your own personality, and then respect the personality of others in your behaviour.
Like, you see, when somebody comes in, you should talk to them in a very gentle manner – knowing that this is another God who is coming in. If there’s Spirit in me, is Spirit in him also. So you must see that he sits properly, he is comfortable, and ask to – if he wants any tea or anything. Make him comfortable. Let him feel that you are not in any way disturbed, nor that you are irritated, but you are very happy to meet him and that you should settle down with kindness.
Sometimes also in diffidence one might feel nervous about a person if he is there. That nervousness is a sign of insecurity.
One should not be nervous. If you are talking to someone, one should be in a way that another person should feel absolutely confident and should feel that this gentleman is going to listen to me.
Now the another way to impress people is; allow others to talk. Listen to them properly; not talk yourself, listen to them.
And once they have said something, then say, “That’s true, no doubt. I agree, but…” Then you can start.
So you do not just stun them by your, “No! Not at all!”, like that. But on the contrary, you see what they say.
I mean, you can watch Me, I do that many-a-times. When somebody says, “Oh, true, it’s true, but, you see, this is it.” So they don’t mind. They think that you have seen the other side of the thing also. That you have a balance and you just don’t impress your ideas on the other.
In a way you are, but in a way you do it that nobody feels that impact, that you are doing something of that kind.
Now, as far as possible never tell anybody to do anything. That hurts people.
Say for example, supposing, you people are there, I will tell you that, “Do this. Put the lights on.” Because after all you are My children, it’s alright; it’s a different relationship. But when you are dealing with others, you see, like you should – somebody is there sitting, if you want to put on the light, slowly, while talking, you get up and put on the light. Ask him: “Would you mind if I put on the light?” Let him say.
But in any behaviourally aggression is the first impression.
Is the other way round in Sahaja Yoga. In Sahaja Yoga I first raise the Kundalini, then do this and do that. Is the other way round it is. You have to build them up from the foundation if you have to impress them outside.
To build them up from the foundation, the first is thing is that you must infuse in them a kind of a trust in you. They should trust you.
They should know that whatever you are saying is the truth. That you are not telling them something that is false or you have no faith in. So in the way you tell them, it influences them very much that this man is telling the truth. So the whole thing should start from your behavioural style, you can say.
Now the dress also, I would say – dress is very important in influencing others.
Now supposing you are connected with somebody in an official way, or in any way, that you want to influence in the business and all that. Best thing is to wear a business dress, not to wear a dress that is relaxed or casual. No. You must wear a dress which is a business dress, you see, like a – you can say, a deep blue suit with low strips, and a proper three-piece smart thing, and a smart, clean shoes, and hair nicely done, maybe little bit oiled, it’s alright. Look like a smart business person.
But if you try to do the fashions of the world, you see, then it changes every day. Today the hair will be this side, tomorrow that side. So make the hairstyle as an official would do. Is to properly comb the hair.
In the olden days, if you see, even the heroes or anything of the films used to have oil in their head. They never had this kind of hair which was dry and this and that. But, I mean, it need not be oil, but should be properly groomed as they say. There are lots of things available in the market which can just groom your hair without oiling it. So it should be properly groomed hair. And you should not be something – so that you show that you have paid attention to your appearances, you have paid attention to your hairstyle and everything. So you make an image out of you which is absolutely suitable for a particular type of a job.
Now, for a cook, say for example, if cook dresses up like a, if you – supposing a cook appears in a swimsuit – what do you think of that? It’s horrid! A cook has to dress up like a cook. In the same way a businessman also has to dress up like a businessman. Now you cannot go about in jeans in your office. You should not, because if you do it, everybody will do it.
And all these things are creating laxity. Laxity is alright outside the office, outside your business, alright, but not where you have the business.
Like we have drawing rooms; now drawing room is a drawing room, it’s not a bedroom. You should not mix them up. Once you start mixing them up, there’s no end to it. One can go to any limit. I have seen people going to office in dresses which really look like a swimsuit.
So this has to be revived, and can be revived very easily if you tell people that you won’t be able to influence people unless and until you keep that kind of a form, and an upright behaviour.
In dealing with others is another point, very important; that you have to be truthful. Don’t tell lies. But if you have to tell something, then you must tell straightforward. But everything need not be told also, that is not telling lies. Everything need not be told. Whatever you have to tell you should say; this much is this, that’s all.
But you shouldn’t tell one thing today, tomorrow another thing, day-after-tomorrow another thing. That creates a very big gap in the mind of a human being, unconsciously, and he thinks, “Oh, he is a cheat, and he is trying to evade the issue or something.”
Supposing now I’m talking to you, and then I start looking at the watch (laughter), then it is insulting. Supposing you are talking about something, some particular thing, and then suddenly I change the topic; then it is again insulting. Because everybody is intelligent to see that you are trying to avoid the issue.
But up to a point you should take it, and then, the whole thing if it is ridiculous, you should bring to a point to show that.
Like yesterday, I said that, “You see, I never wrote about a serpent. If somebody else has written, why should I explain it? I never call it a serpent energy, because that confuses people. But if somebody has called it a serpent doesn’t matter. What can we do about it?”
And when you say such a thing, you see, bring it to a ridiculous conclusion of the whole thing, so the person himself keeps quiet.
But you should not suddenly change the topic. That means you are evading the issue; you don’t know how to handle it. You see? This is something sometimes people, just while talking, they’ll say, “Alright, let’s talk about this.” You cannot.
And a diversion in talking like that can create a big problem.
Another is; while talking to others, don’t talk about yourself; “I am this and I am (that).” No one likes that. It’s stupid, to talk about yourself. “I have this thing. I am this thing.”
Nothing! Now, you just all the time ask, “So what are you doing? What is your profession? How are you?”, this, that; all sorts of questions to him. Now, if he says to anything – then you have to talk, say, about your organization, then you shouldn’t say ‘I’, you should say ‘we’.
You should always say ‘we’. ‘We don’t do it. We are”. ‘We’ means the organization. You always refer to the organization and never to yourself. “I would not do such a thing. I hate it. I believe into it.” It’s absolutely absurd.
What you have to do that “We, we, we believe… We, we think this way, and what is your opinion? We have this kind of a thing.”
Or anything that you want to tell them about your own organization or your own product or anything, you have to tell them that; “See, this is what is available to you. Now it is here, and we have seen that it has done lot of good, and it works this way. And we have got very good reports about it. You can see the reports. We have the reports here. You can see what is it. And, if you please, you can try it, and see for yourself.”
The amount of services you give to the person is very much appreciated by another person. It’s not only ego, but it makes a person very comfortable.
Like, people would like to travel by Air India very much. Many people say they would like to travel by Air India. I tried to understand why; because these days it’s difficult, because they examine you too much, and also because of bombing and this and that.
So I thought that Air India would be very difficult. And they have raised the prices of their – what you call – travel because they have to do extra spending on getting people checked and this and that. But the reason why people take to Air India is this – the ladies who work there are extremely modest type. And they look after the people very well. They are not cheap, they are not cheap women; and when they serve people, they take good care. And the food is lavish, absolutely lavish; eat as much as you like; a lot of food.
They give you five, six times food, whatever you like. And you feel quite happy to have all that. And the slightest – if you press the button, immediately they are available to you.
So what I’m saying, when you are really marketing things, you must know you are on the other end. You are not to be serviced, but you have to service.
Once you realise that you have to service others, your attitude changes. You see, you have to service others. Only through your services they are going to work out. I’ll tell you how.
Like – specially with the English is a big problem. That’s why they are losing so much. They are extremely arrogant. If you go to an Englishman and ask him that, “Can I see what product you have?”
“What do you want!”
“No, I would like to see the product that you have.” “Alright; we just now don’t have any arrangements here to give you anything. But if you leave your note we’ll send you.” Finished! That fellow is not bothered.
You should be properly equipped all the time to attend to people.
In the sense, in an organisation… now supposing you are having some product, then you should know all about it.
The brochures should be there. It’s all the time available whenever you want it, it should be properly priced, systematically kept.
If somebody comes, if you know the person, if it has validity, you see, he is the one who can do some business with you, say: “Here it is. Please have it. You can see yourself” – explain to him what it is – “And this is what it is, and we can give you so much concession in that; could be this much.” And all those things are going to capture the market.
The market does not capture – not because of the product so much, but because of the way it is put forward. The way it is put forward is very important. That you have a proper brochure done, by proper people, or you yourself see to it that it’s done beautifully.
Little money doesn’t matter on that, that whatever is spent is a proper of the capital that you have to put in for the product; is a part of it. If you think that just to put a production, then it won’t sell.
These are part and parcel in modern times of any product being made or sold. Is a part of the product.
To influence people you don’t have to advertise so much as you have to deal with them.
I mean, I can tell you this much, that when I have to buy something anywhere I remember the people from whom I bought, and the experiences I have had.
I think I would always go to a person who was kind to Me, nice to Me. He may take more money, doesn’t matter. But he is kind to Me; he is not shouting at Me, who is well-behaved and his behavior is nice and he doesn’t just try to make fun of Me; and also, on the contrary, gives Me all the information and everything. It’s absolutely acceptable.
Like, I went to see Lloyds; there’s a company I wanted to put some money.
I mean, it’s a very big thing to put some money in some bank, they should understand there’s a customer. Now, they had put a little girl there.
After all, the people who are to be contacting others should be people of personality. Some little girl was there.
As soon as I went there, then she said, “Who are you?”, this thing. I told her, “I am this and this and all that.” “Oh, no, we can’t have you; you have to get this and, please – we can’t do it.”
So I said alright, in deference I said alright. I gave the name of the High Commissioner of India and all those things. I mean, she should understand that I would not say like that.
So, the only thing is that she did not realize that I was with a driver. I had a chauffeur-driven car. I had a Mercedes with Me and I was wearing an expensive sari. I looked quite respectable (Shri Mataji laughs), and she should have understood that the way to behave towards Me is different from you would behave for an ordinary laborer. Here is a real customer.
So she said, “Alright then, I would like to have your identification, then I’ll have to do this, and – no, no, no, no, no. You fill everything”
I got so fed up with her; I went to another; that is NatWest, I would say. I mean, I have got a bank somewhere else, but I wanted one near My house. Though it is far, little far away, though it is not in such a good locality, when I entered in, as soon as I went, she was an intelligent woman, she could see that this is a good customer for us. She could see it from My – I was wearing diamonds, this, that. She could see from My personality that there’s a good customer coming in.
Immediately she said, “Please, let us get into the VIP room.” I didn’t say anything about VIP room. She went, took Me inside and she talked very gently to Me, and she said ‘Yes’ and she asked Me, and she said, “Can I take one minute?” She went in and she told somebody to telephone and find out about My, this thing and all that, and she didn’t say.
You see, it is not to be done in the presence of the person, but you can verify the person’s personality and everything secretly, alright, in a way that he doesn’t feel bad or something, and to know that who is this man and is he correct or not, whether he – but he should not know that you are inquiring. And you should not in any way show that you know about him.
So, you see, that kind of a secrecy helps a lot, because you do not become arrogant, you do not become blunt; or you say, blatantly if you tell somebody, you see, no-one likes you that way.
The likes and dislikes come when you insult another or you try to put down another person or you try to doubt another person.
These are the three things if you look after – that you put the person into a comfortable position and tell him everything; listen to him, what he has to say; trusting him. Then the person looks upon you.
So, in an organization, if you have to run any administration and organization, your personality has to be absolutely sensible.
Secondly, what you talk you must follow.
Supposing I tell you: ”You shouldn’t take money”, and I start grabbing money from you; supposing – then what will you do? You will have no faith in Me, will you?
I mean, actually, when you give Me money for pujas I keep them in a packet, you see, like that; and use that money for buying the silver and all that for your… something.
I need not. I mean it’s out of question. You have given Me in puja, it’s supposed to be Mine, and I’ve said, alright, to keep the protocol alright, you put all this silverware… it is My own, you see, but you can use it.
I mean, it’s just a joke, but everybody knows that Mother is so clear cut, is so clear cut.
You have to be clear cut with people.
They should understand that you do not play tricks with them, or you are doing some sort of backhand outwitting or something.
Some people do it, you see, at the back of a person they try some sort of a trick and…
Such a person is never liked; nobody respects such a person; but straightforward dealing with a person as he is.
If somebody is not alright, in a mild way you should say: “See, this is the problem is. I’m facing this problem. Now you tell me what is the solution”. And then the person doesn’t feel bad. If you tell a person directly they won’t like it. No, they won’t.
You won’t like it, I know, if I tell you something so directly, but I tell you everything. But I tell you in a way that is mild…
[Gregoire enters the room. Shri Mataji says: “Come along, I’m now on administration…”]
… something that is mild, that is congenial, that is easily understood and assimilated. That is very important, that you must have a style which people understand, and a kind of a proper behavior.
[Shri Mataji (aside to Gregoire): “Just giving them some lecture on administration, and how to influence…”.
Gregoire: “Should I go out or leave?”.
Shri Mataji: “No, no, no, no, it’s for every one of you”.]
How to influence others, you see, how to – actually by not influencing others, you influence others. Art lies in hiding art.
There should be no deliberations exposed about it. And if you understand how to do that… (Hindi conversation aside)
So, you see, you should (Hindi conversation aside). So (Hindi) Now, so, while talking to someone also, even if you don’t understand what they are talking, you should show you are understanding them and listening to what they are telling you; also may be absurd, this thing, that thing.
Now, when you have to deal, say, about with three persons, or five persons, or ten persons like, then you have to understand that you should always try to create a good feeling among them, what you call.
Like supposing now, I would like you to marry say Mary, for example, take a position; then I will tell you about her, what she is, in a way that will not hurt you, not hurt her, but prepare you.
Because later on you may hear about her that somebody was saying so, and Mother never told you. So in a way, in a very gentle way you should say, “You see, she has little of this thing, but it’s alright, she can be very, very gentle, you can manage it. And it depends on you, how you manage it.”
And then – so that he feels informed, knowledgeable about a person, and also responsible about it, that “Now it’s my responsibility.”
So, to make people responsible is also a very important part of administration. If you start doing every work yourself, then people will never share your work, you see. They will never do anything. Now to make them responsible, the best way is by rewarding them.
You must reward them if somebody has done a good work. “Oh, you’ve done such a good work.” But not directly like that; in a very indirect manner, very indirect manner you must reward that person. Not only in words, but in kind words – you can do it in kind, small things.
You see, like, I’ll tell you an example of Rajesh. Rajesh is very sweet, and he doesn’t need anything. I mean, he is such a rich man, and what can we give him?
But once he, what – he had taken Me somewhere and he had these Swiss knives, see, Swiss penknife, and he gave it to the driver to cut the fruit or something. And then it vanished.
You see, he got very angry, you see, with him because he couldn’t bear this fellow cheating him like this. We took him to the police station and all that (Shri Mataji laughs), but he couldn’t get it.
The driver had managed it, you see. It was a taxi. So he was very angry with the driver. So I saw that, I said, “Let it be. It’s alright, doesn’t matter.”
Next time when I went to India, I took a very nice knife for him. When he saw it, he just melted away. He said, “Mother, how did You remember?”
I said, “You were so upset at that time!”
He said, “Not because of the knife as such, but because of the way this fellow cheated me.”
But the whole thing neutralized, you see, and he was… So, little, little things if you watch of a person, it’s very sweet.
Like I’ll tell you about Gregoire; once we went to a shop to buy some saris, you see, for Myself I was buying some saris. And I thought, “I’ve bought quite a lot now.”
And I liked one sari very, very much, but I didn’t buy it. I thought it was too much money, I shouldn’t waste all this money, it will not be needed and whatever it is – I gave it up.
And next day Gregoire bought that sari as a present to Me, and really I treasured that sari. I remember…
You see, every incident can be made into some sort of a very valid thing. You can say kind of like a puja we can call it; but like a very valid thing that: “Oh, this was…” So all these things make a difference in an organization where you are working.
Little, little things like that. Also they should feel that you are responsible for them in an organization, very important.
I’ll say, like once in My husband’s office you see, one fellow joined another organization. And he told not to join another organization, but he joined it because there was more money.
And when he went there he found it was all a very horrible thing. There was nothing good happening only except for the money, he was very unhappy there, so he wanted to come back. When he came back – you see, My husband was very annoyed. He said, “I told you not to go there. Why did you go? And, what was the need to do such a thing? Now I cannot take you back.”
So the fellow came to Me. I don’t know (Shri Mataji laughs) why he thought of it, but he came to Me.
He told Me: “This is what has happened but I want to come back to shipping corporation, and I’ve made some mistakes. I think I’ve made a big mistake. But Mr. Shrivastava is somehow or other is angry with me. He doesn’t want to take me back.”
So when Mr. Shrivastava came home I said that he came to see Me.
“Oh! So he came to see you – as if you are my boss!”. And, you see, he got very angry.
So I said, “He wants to join your organisation. I think you should give a consideration to him.”
He said, “Why did he come to you?”
“I think – I said – he thought I’m more forgiving than you are, perhaps”.
That put him right. He said, “What do you mean? I can be forgiving too.”
“So then forgive him!” (Shri Mataji laughing, laughter)
These are the tricks, you see, which I have natural, but you can imbibe also.
Not difficult to impress others, you see (laughter). Such little, little things make a difference, you see. When they are sick you must look after them. Find out if their children are sick, if their wives are sick.
You should be concerned and you should be identified. In an organization you must treat it like a family; absolutely like a family. “What’s wrong with her? Is she all right? Do you need any help?”, this thing, that thing. Send sometimes the flowers if the husband is sick, or wife is sick, or about the children make enquiries. All these things mean a lot.
But while – normally people what they do, on a Christmas Day at the most they might send a card or something. But you can have in the organization a proper card system. You should sign them at hand (unclear) yourself, and one line somewhere in the thing if you know something: “I hope your wife is alright. I hope the children are alright”. If you know the wife: “Please convey my regards to her”.
There’s no need to make them drink like fish, but it’s more to make them feel that they are loved and they are liked in the organization, they are very important, this kind of thing.
Even the suggestion, like say, you see, changing a position of a person; now, supposing, now if I want now Christine to be the leader in America and Gregoire to be the – to be there, to have you, but not to interfere with Christine, I said: “Gregoire, see now, she is there, she is handling people better, she knows them, people have love and respect. Suddenly you are a new person going there. So I don’t want – and you will be her husband – so, as it is you are one of the world leaders, you see, and you should have nothing to do with the local stuff, you see.” He understood it.
But had I said, “You don’t talk anything there! Now you keep quiet!” (laughter) I mean, it would not have worked out. And that he is, he knows that very well. That he is that way one of the world leaders, and we have Warren like that. Some of you have come up like that, that anywhere in the whole world you can go and do anything you like.
Like I would say Rajesh is another one who is coming up.
But unless and until you make proper arrangements you should not shift a person suddenly. See, you should try to see that this person suddenly shifted won’t be alright. But you must also find out if you really want to shift a person or not.
If you are uncertain, better keep it hanging.
You see, time is the best way to allow things to happen like this, you see. Allow little time to pass away. Give a little hint to a person, “You see, people are complaining. What to do? I’d like you to help me out, like.”
So that he also thinks that you’ve given him the sufficient time to improve. You know, that way.
But if you don’t give any time and you just tell a person: “Now, you get out!”, he’ll become your enemy.
But, on the contrary, you should say, “I’m sorry, but these people are such, they are trying to, you see, trouble us and trouble me all the time, and I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but, see, please take care and all that.”
And things work out. People take it, you see, they understand that you are responsible for yourself, and that I am putting that responsibility on them.
That is how it should be worked out.
There’s a shop in Lucknow and he makes very good sweets, very famous for its sweets, you see. And now his father is gone but the son is sitting with his big stomach he has got there, he is sitting there. And everybody goes there to his shop to buy. And you cannot take a car; you have to walk quite a long distance.
Now his trick is such, which I have noticed that. What he will do that he will take your first order, then you said, “Alright, please this”.
Then you are sitting there. Then he’ll say, “What are you doing? Why don’t you give her things? She has been sitting for such a long time.”
He’ll tell Me: “Look at these people you see. They just go on taking so much time of people. Now I hope you don’t have to go by the airplane just now.”
I said, “No, no. I’m alright, it’s alright.” So, on an apology all the time, you see. So then he’ll say: “Why not taste some of these things I’ve made specially, just try.” So you eat something; “Alright, give me this also more” (Shri Mataji laughs) – like that he goes on, you see, giving time.
And then, after some time, again he’ll say: “Oh now, look at these people, how horrid they are. They don’t know how to finish the work. Hey! What are you doing there? Why don’t you give some, Her sweets to the lady? She has to go now. Why are you taking so much time? I’m sorry, but will You taste this till then, they’ll bring it”. So he gives something else (Shri Mataji laughs). So you say: “Alright, give me this”.
By the time you go from there all your money is finished and (Shri Mataji laughs) you have bought all the sweets of the shop! And that’s the trick he plays.
And it’s – then after some time you discover it that, and you say that, “I know all these tricks. Now, will you please give Me whatever I want and I’ll leave!”
So what I’m saying that a relationship of sweetness and this thing develops when you see that a person how sweetly he is selling his things, products to us.
On the contrary: “This is my product. If you want you have it. Otherwise, get out!”
“Yes, alright, you get out first”. (Laughter)
The whole attitude of selling is now turning back to a proper relationship between the person who wants to sell – seller – and the purchaser.
It’s just the relationship that works, not the product. Let the product go to hell! Nobody is bothered about the product.
Of course, I mean, if you just cheat them is alright, but between A, B, C, D, E – if you have five products, people will take – and they are equally about the same, equally good – then people will go to the organization which is sensible, which receives people sensibly, respects them and delivers the thing in time, and a thing that is not so useless.
Of course, you must find out what is the good in the other organizations, what they are having, and what they are selling. You should find out. That is important. And why people like that. But mostly I’ve seen what works out is nothing but your relationship with the customer.
But also your relationship in the office should be good. That’s both the things should work out. The relationship must be good. First of all your personality should be good.
I was telling him, you see, people who wear the fashionable dresses in the office, you see, cannot be good administrators, cannot.
Because, you see, they become little loose, and people start taking advantage of a loose personality. But you should be tight, in the sense – wear an official dress, always, you know. People have an awe about that.
I was telling him, supposing a cook wears, a lady cook wears a swimming dress: no one will like it, will they?
In the same way, this new idea, like you see now, in the offices people will call the… everybody, the driver will call the boss: “Tom, how are you?”. Then no respect, it starts like that.
Or if the boss takes, say, drugs or something, like in India they take what you call tobacco. Is a tobacco they eat. So what happens, that even a peon goes to the boss and the boss says, “Have you got little bit of …?”. “Yes, yes, yes.” So he takes out his own and gives it. Finished! The whole relationship is finished.
So at that time, if you’re taking drugs, if you have – if you take drinks or anything, whatever habits you have are really detrimental, but try to cut them. But even if you cannot, you do not expect your subordinates to support that.
No one likes cheap type of jokes and things, but, you see, these subordinates they pass a cheap type of jokes and they think they are popular. They are not. Popularity is to be gained by aloofness and singleness. Not by just becoming like them.
Like, another incident I’ll give you that in CP’s office there was a lady who came in a jeans, you see. And CP called her. He said, “Madam, I will not have this. You can wear trousers, or you can wear something, sensible dress, but not these jeans.” She said, “No, but sir, now these days it’s good.”
He said, “Yes, it’s alright. You can wear it on the streets. You can wear it in the house. You can wear it anywhere – but not in the office.”
She said, “No sir, it cannot be so”.
He said, “Alright, then will you please resign. I won’t have you.”
Then she started wearing proper dresses. Because that really makes a difference, you see. Always a dress makes a difference for proper articulation. Absolutely you see that.
Now, yesterday I didn’t have a white sari.
Just imagine! They never put any white saris for My programme.
So, I said: “Now, I always wear a white sari for My programme”.
But I had one, this one, the white with the red border. It makes a difference. If I had worn some other sari it could not happen.
But supposing I am coming to see you, what sari I wear has an effect on you. “Oh, Mother wore this sari while coming, you see, just to meet us.” It’s like your light; you see, your dress, your behaviour is like your light, whatever you are inside shows out with that.
And all these compromises that people are having nowadays is spoiling the administration. You must keep to yourself; you must keep to your position.
Like, now there are, in the offices I’ve seen, people answer back, you see. Your own people will sit down and answer back. But if you see a Japanese firm, one person will speak, nobody else. They’ll all sit tight.
When this one person asks him a question, he says, otherwise he doesn’t speak.
A kind of an absolutely unison exists between them. Now what they do – the trick is like this – before going to any programme and all that, he’ll call all his five people, “This is what we are going to discuss there. Now you have to say this and you have to say this. And when I ask you this, you have to say this.” It’s already decided.
Nobody is free to talk in the presence of others. All the freedom is before, you see, before going. We do the same with our children.
When Indians have to go to somebody’s house, now, they’ll tell the children, “When you go there, you are not to ask for anything. You should not touch anything there. You are not to eat much. I’ll say no to that. And even if you have to eat, take very little. And then, before going, you must say; “Thank you”. When you go there you must say, “Namaskar.” All these things are taught in the house first of all. “Otherwise next time we’ll not take you!”
So by that thing, you see, what happens that they are already warned. Actually they are knowledgeable what to do.
Supposing you take five people, come along for a meeting, sit down there. Then they start arguing among themselves, in the same organization they do.
Now, for example, now, Sahaja Yogis in the beginning used to do the same. I have seen that. They would argue with Me in the presence of others and it created a problem. So I had to tell them: “Now in the presence of others don’t argue. If you want to tell Me, you tell Me”.
And between them to create a good feeling, you see, no sense of jealousies or anything. The jealousy is another thing that plays very much among your own people.
So you just have to tell that, “Everybody has their own job. Everything has to be done, and is to be done well – and we are all together; we are one. There’s no question of having this hand having a jealousy with this hand, but you are on the left hand, you are on the right hand. Alright, do your right-hand work and you do your left-hand work and the whole thing will work out. The whole organization has to come up. If the organization goes up, we’ll all get the advantages.”
So always build them up into a unison as far the organization is concerned. “If we all work out well, if we have more profits, we’ll have better bonuses”. So…
…innately perhaps maybe I understand your Kundalinis very well. Innately I know how to deal with people; innately.
Now, sometimes you have to say about someone – say, I may say about you to him, that, you see, “Look after him and do this and…”
Maybe he is rather careless. He won’t understand what I’ve told and he might just say, “Mother was saying so!”
So I have to warn him: “You just say yourself. Otherwise it won’t have any effect. If I have to tell him, I can tell him directly. Why I’m telling you?” But all these things must be made clear before he speaks. Because once he’s done it, then what’s the use?
Then, if he comes to your explanation to you, you should be prepared to say, tell him why you had to tell him, and I didn’t tell you directly. So that the another person who has tried to be stupid is put into his own place; and your relations remain alright.
So relationships are to be maintained good by your own dignity, your own sense of respect of yourself, and the respect of others.
You see, as you treat yourself, you treat others. But first you have no respect for yourself, how can you respect others?
And I personally think that, you see, this fashion business – that this is very fashionable, that is very fashionable – is a beggarish stuff.
You see, it’s beggarish. Is the beggars who create the fashion in democracy. Democratic countries, you see, another I’ve found out, is a left-sided stuff.
And when they create a fashion, what happens? That, say, there are ten beggars who have nothing, so what – the ten people start wearing a dress like that, and even a rich man will start behaving like that.
So it is in the same way there are ten stupid fools, you see, idiots, they behave like idiots, so even an intelligent man thinks something wrong with him.
So in a democracy you have to be like the rest of them (Shri Mataji laughs), so you start behaving like an idiot. Yes, it’s true! (Laughter)
I mean, like I have seen some very senior people, sensible people cracking very dirty jokes. And the reason is, you see, when they came to England they found everybody talking like that. So they thought: “Am I something different with me? Oh, I’m also like you.”
So they will crack a joke. So they stoop down, you see.
You don’t have to stoop down, you have to rise higher to attract them. This is the difference; to stoop down to their level or to rise higher.
But, while rising higher, you should not suggest that you are rising higher, create any jealousy, or kind of a feeling that this one thinks no end of himself.
But in a very gentle manner you should show that you are higher than them; then only they will follow you. Otherwise they will not.
If you are lower than them, or of their style, how, why will they follow? Many people do these things, I mean, such a common thing in the West; see, they have lost their sense at all.
But in other countries, like say, any country which is a fascist country, or a, say, a Communist country, where they are right-sided, what they do, they build up their own images.
I would say, even in Japan is the same. They have their own images. The leader is a leader, you see, you cannot talk to him. If you have to talk to him, you have to talk in this manner; there’s a system of that kind, and you cannot behave like this. But the leader himself has a projection of a personality, where he treats everyone like a father.
But here the father behaves like a child. The child comes and says: “I want some drink.” So the father pours some whisky and gives it to his son. Finished! That relationship is finished. As soon as you try to come to the level of your child – is finished.
They must know, there should be an awe.
That’s a part you have to play. You should be very friendly, you should be kind, you should be everything. But you must know you are a father out and out. Otherwise children will never respect you.
In the same way, in any organization it happens. You must keep that distance.
For example, I would never like anybody to call Me by name, at all, never. But in the office or something I don’t like someone to call Me by name, so I’ll call others, say, in an office or so, I’ll say ‘Mister’.
CP’s driver also I’ll say ‘Mister’ to him. So he dare not call Me by name.
R: Yes, at school it’s become a fashion that the students call me with my name.
Shri Mataji: That’s it! They have no respect. They have no respect.
R: All teachers, I mean.
H: Shall I go and take a look downstairs and see whether the bell…[indistinct]
Shri Mataji: Beg your pardon? Is there somebody who has come?
H: Well, I heard the bell ringing.
Shri Mataji: Alright, go and have a look. Then I’ll go and see. It’s eleven o’clock now, exactly.
Now let Gregoire listen to the first part of it. Let’s see what he has to say.
You see, Gregoire, this one….
[Tape recorder is switched off.]