Shri Fatima Puja, St Georges, Switzerland, 14 August 1988.
Today we are going to have the puja of Fatimabi, who was the symbol of Gruhalakshmi, and so we are going to have the puja of the Gruhalakshmi principle within us. As the housewife has to finish every work, everything in the household, and then she goes for a bath, in the same way this morning, I had to do lots of things and then I could come for your puja, because today the housewife’s jobs were many. So, I had to finish them like a good housewife.
Now, the principle of Gruhalakshmi has been evolved and developed by the Divine, is not a human being’s creation and as you know it resides in the left Nabhi. The Gruhalakshmi is the one that is represented in the life of Fatima who was the daughter of Mohammed Sahab. Now She is always born in a relationship to a Guru, which is of virginity, of purity. So, She comes as a sister or She comes as a daughter. Now the beauty of Fatima’s life is, that after the death of Mohammed Sahab, as usual, there were fanatic people who thought they can take the religion into their hands and can make it a very fanatic thing and the attention was not paid so much towards the ascent of the person.
Even Mohammed Sahab has described his son in law in many ways. And He is the only one – or there is another incarnation of Brahmadeva, who came on this earth; Ali came on this earth, He was the incarnation of Brahmadeva and his – another incarnation was Sopandev (सोपानदेव – the younger brother of Dnyaneshwara), which, you can go to Pune, you can see the temple of Sopandev there.
(Shri Mataji [to the Yogi who fixes the mic]: it falls with this weight.)
So, we have Ali and his wife Fatima who incarnated on the principle of the left Nabhi. She stayed in Her house, in Her household and She observed what you call a kind of a parda [Parda: veil]; naqaab as they call it, to cover Her face. It is a symbol that a woman who is a housewife has to save her chastity by covering her face because She was a beautiful woman and They were born in a country which was very, very violent and She would have been definitely attacked in case She had not lived in that kind of fashion.
As you know, in the time of Christ, though Mary was Mahalakshmi’s incarnation, had to be very, very potential personality and Christ did not want anybody to know what She was.
But though She was in the house, She was Shakti. So She allowed Her sons or actually ordered them to fight those fanatics who were trying to deny the authority of Her husband. And you know, Hasan and Hussain, they were killed there. It’s a very beautiful thing how the Mahalakshmi tattwa of Sita took a form of Vishnumaya just to establish the beautiful principle of a housewife. Now, She was very powerful no doubt, and She knew that Her children will be killed. But these people are never killed, they never die, nor do they suffer. It’s a drama they had to play to show people how stupid they are. As a result of that, another system started where they respected saints; like in India Shia people respect Auliyas (अवलिया) or we can call them the people who are Realised souls like Nizamuddin Sahab. Then we have got in Chisti; we have got in Ajmer, Hajarat Chisti. All these great Saints were respected by Shias. But still, they could not transcend the limits of religiosity. So, they also became extremely fanatic.
Firstly, they would not see to another religion where they had saints. They would not respect the saints who were belonged to another religion and even when we had a great saint like Sai Nath of Shirdi, who was a Muslim to begin with, and it is said that Fatima Herself brought him as a child in Her lap and gave him to some lady. It said so. We did not deny, as far as the Hindus were concerned, his saintliness, but the Muslims did not accept him.
There is another one who is called Haji Malang, who is very near Bombay, who was a realised soul. He, too, realised the fanaticism of the Shias. ‘Shia’ word comes from Shiya; in U.P. Sita is called as ‘Siya’. Sitaji is called as ‘Siya’. They also did not realise that there are saints who are not, so called Muslims but they are saints. So, they could not get out of it. So, we have another one called Haji Malang (हाजी मलंग) who was worshipped by Hindus. Some Muslims also go there, no doubt and this Haji Malang was quite worried about the fanaticism of the Shias, so he appointed some Hindus to worship him, just to counterbalance. They did all kinds of things.
There are many saints like that. I went to Bhopal. There is another big saint who was buried [there]. But his all disciples were just depending on the earnings of that place, which was very bad. Even Hazrat Nizamuddin’s things are the same way as the Hindus do. They all make [an] earnings, I mean it’s a kind of a commercial business. So, this saint died and was buried there. There were many people who were depending on it. When I went there, I just by the way asked them, “What is your religion?” So, they said, “We are Muslims”. I said, “What was the religion of that saint who died?” He said, “Saints have no religions.” So, I said, “Then why do you want to follow religion? Why don’t you follow his religion? They have no religions.” Even, it is said in Sanskrit, [that] the Sanyasis have no religions. They are dharmatita (धर्मातीत), they go beyond the religion.
But as it has happened with every incarnation, it has happened even with the Shia people, with the Sunnis, with the Hindus, with the Muslims and everyone, that they made a fanatic group. Now fanaticism itself is absolutely against religion, against your innate religion within yourself because it creates poison. It’s a venomous thing. It makes you hate others. When you start hating others, then it reacts in you as horrible poison which eats up all that is beautiful within you. Hating any one is the worst thing that human beings can do, but they can do it. They can do whatever they like. Animals do not hate anyone. Can you imagine? They don’t know how to hate. They bite some one because that is their nature. They cut some one because that is their nature. They never hate someone. They may not like someone but this hatred, which is a poison, is a speciality of human conception and human absorption. Only human beings can hate. And this horrible thing hatred, was settled between even the Muslims which was not done. This Karbala was not created for hatred, but for love.
Everything that was done for love was converted into hatred, in every religion. Now the worst part of the whole thing is, that one part which hates thinks the other part is the worst of all, and the another part thinks that the first part is the worst of all. Under what rule, law or logic they decide – that is their own lookout. So, they club together like that.
While this principle of the Gruhalakshmi was specially created to overcome that hatred, to subdue that icy stuff called hatred, to remove, from the minds of the people, hatred – this Gruhalakshmi principle was created. How? In the family when you have a household, the Gruhalakshmi principle has to subdue the hatred between the children, between the husband and the children. But if she herself enjoys her hatred then how can she subdue it? She is the source of that peace which subdues hatred.
Now in India we have joint families. You too have relations like uncles, aunties, this, that. But the housewife’s job is to smooth, smooth out all angularities of people which creates friction. Now the man has to worship a housewife. It is said so, “Yatra Nariya Pujyante, Tatra Ramante Devata” (यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते तत्र रमन्ते देवताः।) – “wherever the housewife is respected, there only the Gods reside”. In our country, I, must say credit must go to the housewives, because we are no good for economics, no good for politics, administration; hopeless! Men folk are useless, they don’t know any household work or anything, women have kept it to themselves, but our society is first class, is maintained by the women of the household.
So, the man has to respect the housewife, that’s very important. If he does not respect his housewife, there’s no possibility of any Gruhalakshmi tattwa being maintained. It’s like the preservation of that principle of a housewife.
But some men, I mean many of them, think that it is their birth right to ill-treat their wives, to torture them, to say all kinds of things, to be angry, if she is a good woman. But if she is a nagger, if she is a bhoot, then they are subdued, completely subdued. If the wife is a bhoot then husband always, sort of, tries to please her and be extremely kind to her. He knows she is a bhoot, after all, you know, be careful [you] don’t know what time the bhoot will come like a snake on you! And if she knows how to nag or to argument, then also they are afraid. There is no love, they have no love or respect for her, but they have an awe or fear. And they are afraid of such a woman. Now some women think if they become flirtish then the husbands are better controlled. But their basic principle they lose. The basic shakti that they have, they lose, and they land up in difficulties.
So the basic principle of a Gruhalakshmi is to respect her chastity, to respect her chastity outside, inside. That is the steadiness of her. Of course, most of the men take advantage of it. If the wife is docile or obedient, they make it a point that they just rule the wife, left and right. All right!
But this woman, the housewife, has to know that she is not docile. She is obedient to her own righteousness, to her own virtues, to her own qualities. If the husband is stupid, all right, he is stupid like a child, finished! But the husband has to know that he must respect, otherwise he is a lost case, he is finished, he is good for nothing. First thing is that he must see [that] the woman in the household is respected as a Gruhalakshmi. Then the blessings flow.
But in no way he should insult her or be unkind to her and raise his voice or say things to her. But the wife has to be the one who is to be respected. I have so many times said, your wife is dominating, give her two slaps on the face, of course! No doubt! She has not to be dominating, she has to remove the dominating forces of others. She is the source of peace; she is the source of joy, and she is the peacemaker. If she is the one who creates problems, then you can slap her nicely, bring her to her shape, is all right.
So, its Gruhalakshmi tattwa is mutual. It doesn’t depend only on the wife or husband but both of them. So once if you are making your wife suffer, your left Nabhi can never improve. Or if you are a bad wife your left Nabhi cannot improve.
Now, in the west the problem with the women is this that they don’t realise [as to] what is their power. An eighty-year-old woman also would like to look like a bride. They do not feel their dignity and enjoy their dignity within themselves. They are the queen of the house, but they want to behave like [a] cheapish, childish, young frivolous girl. They don’t feel the dignity of their being. They talk too much, they behave in a manner that, does not behove a housewife. Like they will take out their hands, talk like this, as the fisherwomen do, when they sell their fish to someone and when they have to fight. Or they shout sometimes, they shout also, I mean, I have heard they shout and sometimes they beat their husbands, that’s the limit!
They start always comparing themselves with the husband, to begin with. Like I am such a rich man’s daughter, I am from such and such family, my husband is from such a low family, he has no money, nothing, he is not educated, so ill-treat him. Treat him in a manner, that shows no respect. Such a woman will lose all her powers. Also in her own ways she will feel guilty, she will feel guilty because, first of all, nobody has right to look down upon anyone whatsoever in Sahajayoga specially. Then, to look down upon your husband, is something unbelievable! He may not be a Sahajayogi. All right! He may not be up to the point, but by your behaviour, by your strength, by everything you can save him. But why are you losing yourself by dominating others, by strangling others, by making your husband a very, sort of a – frog in the well; telling him, “Oh, we both are, after all, we should enjoy! Let’s have our house separately, nobody should come in the house”. Even a rat won’t enter that house! Even to say, “Oh, these are my children, my husband, myself”, is the negative of Sahajayoga, is the negative form of understanding. These are absolutely absurd things, they do not look like for any Sahajayogi or any Sahajayogini. All this kind of selfishness, all this kind of seclusion is against Sahajayoga.
But a thing of a housewife is, “Oh, now how much should I prepare? For example, there will be 50 persons coming.”
So, the husband says “But only 10 are coming. Why do you want to have for 50 persons?”
“But maybe they would like to eat more.”
“But then why do you have 50 plates?”
“Maybe they might bring their friends.”
So, she thinks of her generosity. She enjoys her generosity. I have known many like that. Those, they are not even Sahajayoginis.
They will say, “Will you come, sister-in-law, will you come for dinner?”
“Oh, I am not coming, you cook too many things. Not coming!”
“‘No, no, I will cook very few things but please come.”
Then she just starts thinking immediately. “What vegetables are available in the market? What should I get? What is the best?”
I mean, I am not their Guru, I am not their mother, I am just a relation, but they want to express their love through the food, they are the giver of food – Annadaa (अन्नदा). They are the Annapurnas and this is the one of the qualities, the generosity if a woman doesn’t have she is not a Sahajayogini, by any chance. Take it from Me. Husband may be little miserly, doesn’t matter, but wife has to be very generous and sometimes, she secretly gives money, not to her own children but to others. Such beautiful women have to be there in Sahajayoga. But I feel so sorry sometimes, that the attack comes from the women of Sahajayogi, not from the men, on Me. I am a woman Myself, and I feel shocked that the women should attack Me like this, for what?
In Sahajayoga there is no domination of any kind, but all these so-called ideas of servility or domination comes from the false ideas you have, about your own dignity, about your own understanding. You are not aware of yourself. You do not know that you are the queen, nobody can dominate you. Who can dominate the lady, who rules the household? If supposing the husband says, “I don’t like this colour!” All right, leave it for a while. Then somebody will come and say, “What a nice colour!” [Then] he says, “Ah, such a nice colour, oh, don’t change it.’
The women must understand the men. They have big eyes. They are not microscopic. They see everything in a big way, you see. So today they will say something, tomorrow they will forget about it and they don’t have microscopic eyes. They are too above these things; they are above these things. You must understand them as they are! “But if he sits on the horse, I must also sit on the horse and fall down. If he goes for skiing – I will also go for skiing. If he develops his muscles – I will also develop my muscles.” It is coming to that point! I mean women start looking like nothing on earth. You don’t know what sort of women these are with big, big muscles without any moustaches. So, this kind of stupid ideas we have.
But there is no subordination of any kind. You are subordinated to your own dignity, to your own chastity, to your sense of honour and above all, to your righteousness, because you are in charge of that. The man who is in charge, has to look after that side. How many quarrels you create? How can you be quarrelsome when you are supposed to become the peacemaker? Supposing we send two peacemakers to some country to make peace and they cut each other’s throat, what will you say to such a thing?
You are the one who has to smooth down everything, you are the one who has to bring such expression of love, such sweet things that the family itself feels rested in you, secured in you because you are the mother. The family must feel secured within you and this love is your power. This is your power that you can give love and giving love you will find; you will always enrich yourself. I mean imagine what presents I give compared to what I get. I don’t know I will have to build another house! I am telling them “Don’t give Me individual present. I will not take any individual presents.” Now still despite that. I don’t know, just with love if I get something with care, that love, you know, itself manifests and comes back to you like a poetry. You are sometimes surprised.
I will give you one simple example of My own life which will tell you how love can work it out. I was a housewife to begin with and to end with, I think. And once I was in Delhi, My daughter was to be born, so I was knitting something for her, sitting outside in the lawn, when three persons walked into the house, one lady and two men and they came and said, “See now we are – I am a housewife and these two are, one is my husband and he is the friend of my husband and he is a Muslim, and we have come to you for shelter because we are refugees.” I looked at them, they looked very good to Me, they were quite all right. I said, “All right you please settle down in My house.” So, I gave them the outside room which had a kitchen and a bathroom and this thing, and for the gentleman, I said, “There is another spare room, you can stay there, and husband wife can stay here.”
In the evening My brother came in. He started shouting at the top of his voice, he said “What is this? You don’t know these people, they may be thieves, they may be this, they might do this…” and then My husband came, he also joined him because, you see, they were friends! All men just the same, you see, so he said, “You see, she doesn’t understand she has kept these three persons here. God knows, what they are, they are saying refugees, this thing. She doesn’t know, he is a Muslim, he is a Hindu. God knows, she has two husbands, one husband” like that, all kind of things. Next morning, they forgot about that. I said, “All right. Let them be there for one night. Is all right? I can’t drag them out today, one night.”
Next morning, they forgot that they were living there. That’s like men! First there is such a blasting, such a blasting, I said, “All right, one night. Now don’t shout. They will feel hurt. So let them stay one night!” They soothed down. Next morning, they went away for their work. They had no time. It was, you see, only on a weekend they become active in the household, otherwise they are inactive. So, they went away.
It so happened that these people stayed with Me for one month. Then this lady got a job and, she went away with her husband and this Muslim. But in the meanwhile, there was a big riot in Delhi, very big riot. Because many Hindus and Sikh people were killed in Punjab. It had a reflection in Delhi, and they started killing all the Muslims there. So, three, four Sikh people and one or two Hindus came to My house, and they said, “We are told that you have a Muslim staying with you.” I said, “No. How can I have?” They said, “There is a Muslim. We have to kill him.” I said, “See I am wearing such a big teeka (टीका- bindi), can you believe it that I could have a Muslim in the house?” They thought I must be a real Hindu fanatic; you see! So, they believed Me. I said, “See now, if you have to go in My house, you will go on My dead body because I will not allow you!” So, they felt quite frightened. They went away.
So, this fellow heard My things, and he came, and he said, “I am surprised. How did you risk your life?” I said, “There is nothing. Nothing.” His life was saved. Now this gentleman, this Muslim gentleman, became a great poet called Sahir Ludhianvi (साहीर लुधियानवी), and this lady became a great actress, [“Kai naav ahe tyanche?” (काय नाव आहे त्यांचं?) – What is her name?] ….. the one who used to act like a mother? Ha, Sachadev, Achala Sachadev (अचला सचदेव). I knew it was, they had become one day and all that. But I didn’t tell anybody about it. I said, “Now supposing they come to know, I am in Bombay, they will just go mad about Me,” and I said, “I have no time for all that.”
So, we started a film centre for the young people, to give them some good films. But it all made into a farce, later on. They never listened to Me, but whatever it is. So, they said, “We should get this Achala Sachadev to act as a mother.” I said, “All right, but don’t tell her I have said, I have anything to do with it.” So, years had passed, about after, I think about twelve years or so. So, they went and told her. So she was fussing like an actress. “No, no; how much are you going to pay me? I cannot act free. Everybody will ask for free. Then how can I give you free? You will have to give me Sari. You will have to give so much money. This thing.” They said “All right, come to the muhurat [मुहूरत – inauguration ceremony] at least. Come to the muhurat”, to the beginning, big muhurat is the one where you start it.
So, she came and I was there. She looked at Me and just, you know, she couldn’t believe that she has seen Me after twelve years. The tears started swelling her eyes. Absolutely she couldn’t say anything, just she came and fell into My arms and she said “Where were you last? All these days I have been trying to trace you out.” Then she started describing Me and all. Then Sahir Ludhianvi was there, and he said, “How this Lady is here?” They said, “This is Her work.” “Oh God, why didn’t you tell us? You see, we will give our lives for Her!” And they were all amazed, how they were changed. “No money, nothing, I am going to give money for this project. Nothing doing. “
See now, I was a housewife just an ordinary housewife. I didn’t have so many rights on My husband’s property or anything, and My brother another dominating fellow, both of them put together, just were about to kill Me that night, with their temper and anger. I soothed them down and then you know when I told My husband and My brother, they were amazed. I said, “They are the ones who have become like this! And see the change, how much they have…”, and then they said, “No more, we are going to say no to any charitable institution. This is the last mistake we have committed!” And the whole idea of a…earning and money and this and that; just toppled down. And she has acted in many films for charity and this Ludhianvi also wrote many things for charity.
So a woman can make a man a charitable personality – because she herself is charitable. She has so many beautiful…she is an artist! And she can create beauty around her, in her household, in her family, in her society, everywhere! But no! Women want to fight like men. They will have associations. They will have… What you call that? (Labours चं काय असतं? क्या बनाते लेबर लोग? -What do the labourers have? What do they create?) Unions! Unions!! They would like to have unions to fight for their rights! I agree that some of the men have been extremely cruel, some of the laws have been extremely cruel, this thing, that thing, and that they have to be told. But this is not the way!
There is another way of improving these men who try to destroy the women, because women have one very great quality that Ganas are with them, and Shri Ganapati is with them. He will never side with men if they are chaste and do not try to show off their body and show off their beauty and want to make, sort of a capital out of it.
Such women are extremely powerful, extremely powerful, and they show their valour when it comes to anything; like we had Jhansi ki Rani (झाँसी की रानी). She was an ordinary housewife. She fought the British. And the British also were surprised at her valour and they said that we had got Jhansi, all right, but the glory goes to the Queen of Jhansi. Like that we had many, Noorjahan (नूरजहाँ ) we had, we had Ahilya Bai (अहिल्या बाई). We had many great women in India because of the institution; Padmini (पद्मिनी) we had, Chand Bibi (चाँद बीबी). There’s so many women we can mention who have been great women, who were housewives.
So, the woman’s qualities are like the potential of the Mother Earth or potential of any energy. Like electricity has its potential somewhere else. You see the lights here, makes no difference, one light or two lights, but the potential is important. So one has to understand we are potential and to preserve our potential, we must have the sense of dignity, honour and righteousness within ourselves.
Now men must respect their women who are like this. But men are another stupid stuff because they will not respect a woman who loves them, who is chaste, who is good, who wants them to be collective, who wants them to give, to be charitable, who wants that Sahajayoga should be promoted and the one who wants that her husband should be happy and joyous and that he should come to Sahajayoga as well.
Instead of that, they run after some funny, stupid women. What is there to be so attracted towards bhootish women, must be some bhoots in them, I don’t know, that the way they get attracted. As a result of all this misbehaviour of men, women become very insecure, and they get insecured. As a result, the men suffer, and women suffer. A man who neglects his wife, and treats like that, will consequently get blood cancer.
And the woman who behaves like this, in this manner and if she ill-treats her husband, will get asthma or of a very serious type of cirrhosis, could be brain damage, could be paralysis, could be complete dehydration of the body. Because left Nabhi is so important. If the left Nabhi is made hectic, as you know by your running about and by jumping about and by being hectic, that left Nabhi becomes hectic and you develop blood cancer.
I have always seen that the women who are thin, their husbands as jittery – why? Because the wife is all the time making him run up and down. “Do this, do that, you didn’t bring this thing for me! I had asked you to bring the Coca-Cola you didn’t bring! You didn’t do that!” As if he is the sinner all the time. And the man becomes jumpy all the time, jumpy. He gets something for the jumping, and she gets something for her torturing. There is no love. There is no joy. There is no happiness.
This so-called figure madness, which is now subsiding, thank God. It’s coming from America now; subsiding. This figure madness makes you funny.
Women have to be settled down women, they have to be grahasthis (ग्रहस्थी), that is the one who settles in the household; said to be satisfied with her household. If she is all the time running about, she doesn’t want to stay in the house then she is not a housewife, but she is a maid servant. There is a saying that there was a lady who was a maid servant, and then she was made a housewife, but she could not stop her running about because she was a maid servant. She doesn’t settle in the household. Now, for whom is the household, is not only for herself, no, not for her husband, no, not for her children but for others to welcome!
Like this Mother Earth has spread all these beautiful things for you, to come and sit and enjoy. But is a very common thing, also in the Sahajayoga, we find that people, after marriage, become absolutely engrossed into each other and lose Sahajayoga. Then their children suffer. Their children become fussy, funny and disobedient, torturesome. They have some physical problems also – is a punishment. Not that I punish this, but it is your own nature punishes – supposing you put your hand in the fire, it will burn. I mean who is punishing? You are punishing yourself! Then children become funny.
Just for your family, just for your food, just for your household, this selfishness, if it crawls up into man, then God save that family. If it’s a woman, its all right, at least little bit but if the man is a gone case, that “I should have a house, I should have a job, I should look after my children, it’s for my family.” Our family is not of one man – one woman but the whole universe is our family. We are not on our own, and if you become arbitrary, and if you become secluded, I must tell you one thing and warn you today that – those people who will try to seclude themselves, a day will come, when they will have horrid diseases on them – don’t blame Sahajayoga! Sahajayoga has its own beautiful realm of God’s Kingdom. But in the God’s Kingdom, you have to be collective.
But a bad wife can create problems because she is… and she will create a problem, she will form a group of people, group of women, she will go on rolling down with her bhoots to everyone. Or maybe she is very conscious of her education, may be conscious of her position or of her money and all that – then also she will try to keep the husband aloof. Such people have to pay for what they have done. Not because it is a punishment from God.
So Gruhalakshmi tattwa in Sahajayoga is very important. Those people who have got problems after coming to Sahajayoga, most of them have neglected their Gruhalakshmi principle. Because Gruhalakshmi, if goes out, then centre heart catches.
Those women who have tried such tricks, should give up immediately because that’s very undignified. Nobody respects such a woman. It’s very true with the leaders’ wives and the leaders. The leader’s wife or the leadership is a minimal of a minimal of a minimal of a so-called position. Most insignificant! What you have got is much higher than this. If you ask a saint to become a king, he will say, “What? You want to put the ocean into a cup?” Is the minimal of minimal. Is the lowest of lowest.
Those who think their life is service are another stupid people. Their life is enjoyment, not service. But that service itself is enjoyment. But if you just keep to service; “Oh, I am sacrificing, this is my tapasya (तपस्या)!” Finished! Then you end up as a tapasvi (तपस्वी), with like a beanstalk [figure] – thin. You can be used for a cross!
So, in Sahajayoga it is enjoyment but, unless and until you have that essence of enjoyment into everything, it cannot be an enjoyment. If you take out the essence from the cane sugar or what you call the sugar cane bamboo, then what is left? In the same way, all the so-called service and seva (सेवा) and tapasya and all that has no sweetness in it, finished! So, the essence of all this is sweetness and that is generated by women. But they are very strict. “Don’t spoil this. Keep this nice, keep that nice.” The husband comes home like as if like a criminal, you know. He has to be like a bull in a China shop, he has to be. It’s a good thing in a way. Is nice, he doesn’t know how to do anything, is even better for you. But to make him all the time slave, “Do this! You didn’t do this for me! Do that for me!”, Is not the job of a housewife. Her job is like the Mother Earth. Does She complain? Nothing. She gives you everything. So much is the sustenance in Her. So [much] dignity. Such powers She has. What does She care for anybody giving Her any thing?
You will be amazed if I tell you today, till today, till yesterday, I never asked My husband to buy Me anything. For the first time I asked him to buy Me a camera, and you see the result, in the evening what he said. Least expected! Never in lifetime. He used to say, “You must tell me what you want”. First time, I said something and see the effect. Because I have never said to him!
So, such a woman has to be self-satisfied, satisfied within herself because she has to give. The person who has to give, how can she demand? She has to give love because she is love. She has to give all the services. She has to give all the possessions; she has to sooth down. What a responsibility, I tell you, what a responsibility! More than a Prime Minister, more than any king or anyone, is the responsibility of a woman, and she should feel proud of it, that such a responsibility has come to me. A housewife has much more responsibility than a leader of Sahajayoga. But the wives of leaders can be horrid because they think they have become leaders. This is the minimal of minimum. I mean it’s like, I said, the ocean coming into a little cup. And their behaviour becomes so funny and absurd, I am surprised!
I was married in a family where we had 100 people living together and each one of them adores Me. If I go somewhere in Lucknow, all of them will come from all over to see me but My husband goes, nobody comes to see him. He always complains. He is the relation, I am not the relation, and they come and see Me, not him! If I had not given them love, if I had not given them whatever they wanted they would have not come to Me.
So, they are the preservers, preservers of others. They don’t have to preserve things for themselves. And we have many stupid women with us, I tell you, many stupid women — we call them buddhu (बुद्धू – idiot) in Hindi language, the buddhus — because they don’t know what power they have got. They don’t know what responsibility they have. I am an example before them.
And this is the very big problem with Me that practically I think 60% leaders have horrible wives. I must say, horrible. And Sahajayoga goes dhap (ढप् – sound of falling deep down) like that with them. They can’t live in an ashram, they will have their food, the husband must see that they have their food. But it is they who have to feed everyone, everybody has to be looked after and at the end they should eat. Everybody must get a bed, they must see everybody is sleeping now, they must cover all the children, everything, then they must sleep. But no, they sit down, they become mini-matajis or greater-than-matajis. “Get me this thing! Get me that! Just do that! Do this!” They don’t know how to cook, most of them.
Every wife of a leader has to cook and learn cooking. It’s compulsory now. They have to cook. And with heart! They should be able to cook and give with love to others. That’s the minimum of Annapurna. And the husband shouldn’t find faults with them. In the beginning they might make mistakes, then encourage. Encourage their qualities, encourage their goodness, encourage their niceness.
Also, I have seen, some very good ladies who were taking very active life in Sahajayoga. After marriage they are lost. Husbands are also supposed to be Sahajayogis – lost. Sometimes they appear, sometimes if I am there they come, otherwise they are not there. Today I was asking Arneau, he told Me so many of them are like that here. That means there’s something wrong with the husbands because before marriage they were better off. So how much it is important, a Gruhalakshmi Principle within us, for us to be together, to us to grow together, to feel the togetherness, all the time, the oneness that is within us.
So yesterday, as I told you, that I will tell you about the Ragas we have. Ra (रा) is energy. Ga (ग) is in Sanskrit language ‘Ga – Geti’ (ग गेती ) means ‘which penetrates’, ‘which moves into everything’. It’s the etheric qualities, etheric, into which you see, you put anything into ether, you can receive it anywhere.
So, the Raga, is the energy which goes into the ether and touches your spirit. That is the Raga. And these Ragas are, I would say are something like a housewife. Supposing if you stand with a military band, you will be fed up, “left right, left right, left right”. But a beautiful melody; that’s a melodious thing, melody! And this melody itself is suggestive of a beauty.
The way the housewife decorates the house, she smoothes down everyone, makes them feel happy; then she’s looking after everyone. Everybody knows she is standing there. Imagine, like a modern style would be, you call some people for birthday cake of your child, and you cut the cake first because you are the housewife! How will it look? It is that ridiculous, I tell you. The way the housewife always puts forward before everybody else. They have to be on the back because you have to look after. Look after all of them, and this is what is a Raga is. It caters to all your angularities. Supposing a person is very upset and worried, he comes from office, sits down, puts on a Raga. It soothes you down. It makes you settle down.
Like people come home for five days, live like I don’t know, what to call, not even hotels, and live in a tent-like thing and the sixth day they are out at the sea, or they go and stay in a hotel. Nobody wants to stay in the house because there is no Gruhalakshmi principle between the two. But Raga needs baithak (बैठक ), sitting down, settling down. Unless and until you settle down, you cannot enjoy Raga. Imagine somebody listening to a Raga when he is a jumpy. So, one has to settle down and that settling down is what is the work of a woman who is a housewife, and the man has to act, is to settle down.
As I have told you many a times how your left Nabhi goes out in the modern times, much more, and many children are also born of the women who are hectic. Is that the wife…normally in India before, you see, the husband used to get up, have his bath, all the time his wife is not with him. She is cooking for him. She is looking after the children.
All the time sticking on to husband also is a sign of boredom. Husband gets bored, the wife gets bored, then they have a divorce. So must have other interests like looking after the children, household, Sahajayoga, things like that. Then he comes from the bath, he sits, sits on the ground, in India. Now we are sitting on the tables, all right, at least sit on the tables, not on the table, but on the chair. Then she doesn’t tell him at this time “Why did you do like this?” Or “This lady was quarrelling”, Or “I met another lady she was telling me you were this and you were that.” No! She says, “Let him eat his food”. That’s why in India if husband has to show temper, he doesn’t eat his food in the house or he will wash his underclothes himself on his wife! That is how, they show their temper.
So, then she fans the husband slowly and tells him good things, “You see, today you know what? My son got up and he said – I love my father very much”. He said “Really?” “Yes, yes, he said, he said so”. And husband knows she is telling lies also, but you see all nice things, you see, and “I think your mother is much better now. I think I will go and look after your mother. And your sister is coming. So I think you are buying a Sari for her.” All such nice – nice thing she will talk to him. So he eats his food nicely then he go and washes his hands and goes in a bullock cart, not in a car where there is a jam, always. All right, now the bullock cart is over, the fan is over. You have to be very fast. Life is fast now. In this fast thing, as I have told you, that on the periphery of the wheel you have the speed but at the axis it is not. So the Sahajayogis have to be at the axis, and so the husband and the wife, the left and the right side of a chariot have to be on the axis and the left is left, and the right is right.
Now the women always take more time to get ready. Not Me, I take less than My husband, much less than My husband, but normally. So, that is their habit. Forget it. Now women have their own habits. They are women. Women will remain women, men will remain men. Men must see their watches ten times. Women might see it once or may be their watches are lost or out of order – if they are real women. They are not jumpy like men; they are different type. But they are women, and you are men, and God has made men and women. If it was to make a unisex, He would have made unisex, He did not.
So, one must accept the sex is which you are born, with grace and beauty and dignity – both. And you must know this is Woman’s party!
In India we have these things like, you know, I was married in a family, very orthodox where they used to even cover the face and all that. So, one day, the collector, is the friend of My husband, so, he told My elder brother-in law that, why not the wife of my friend come and see me. So, he said, “Of course! of course!” So just to make it easy for Me he took leave from his office and disappeared into another town and he told his wife that “See that She goes and sees the collector”. See how beautiful it was, how beautiful it was, and I never felt that he was dominating Me because after all that was the system of that family, all right, it’s all right.
But for this what you need is pure Intelligence. If the husband is a dullard, he will bring down his wife. If the wife is a dullard, she will bring down the husband. If a woman is very smart, talks well and you know she knows how to talk and impress people [it] doesn’t mean that she is very intelligent. I call that person the most intelligent who sees the benevolence, the ascent and the ultimate goal. That person is the most sensitive, is the most intelligent. All other intelligence is avidya (अविद्या – false knowledge), is useless. Now, on this subject I think I can write a book, so, is better leave it to the book, and today let us have the puja.
May God Bless You.
[Shri Mataji is scratching Her left palm and showing that it is itching; She continues to talk]
This means, I will be spending some money! I don’t know, there is no chance! I don’t know when will I spend! I love to spend, I mean, everybody should love to spend. That’s why the money is for. Must give to others, you see. Why the matter is there? Matter is to give to others. Just enjoy giving others. So enjoyable, to give something to others.