Adi Shakti Puja, “Detachment”, Rahuri (India), 11 December 1988.
The Puja has to start when it has to start. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting, then I realised that today was a very good time according to the calendar; but it is not in the morning, so it had to be the third day of the moon and as the moon is changing its phases in the day time, we had to wait till it started. I think, all these things have happened, of the theft and everything has happened, perhaps, to delay the Puja up to the point where it should start.
So in Sahaja Yoga we all go beyond time and we don’t have to worry about the timing; only when it’s a formal function or something, because the people are formal, they don’t understand our styles. So we have to be present there at right time, otherwise we should just allow the time to take its own course and we should know in our own way.
Now for our travel and this tour, we have to realise that we are here to achieve a certain amount of height in our detachment, we have to rise into the realm of our state, while the circumstances around us, their surrounding us and they should not make us unhappy, or biased, or we should not react to them, on the contrary we should try to rise above that if there are no events of mishaps.
Then you cannot see the surmounting quality of the Divine, if the surmounting quality of The Divine has to be seen we have to see the obstructions for example, if there is the flow of the water going on and it is smoothly moving, there’s no happening as you call the “ghatana” (event), there is no happening, but if there is a stone them the water splashes against it, creates a beauty and surpasses it, this is the sign of Divine surmounting all the
difficulties that are supposed to be there.
Now we are proceeding to Puna and where we will be having a proper session also for marriages and all that, we will have to take a firm decision, I must speak about it today, that the steadiness of the mind is very important for the marriages. If you have certain concepts and if you are whimsical, it’s better you don’t get
married, because that’s not found in Indian character, once they decide for marriage the’re married forever.
But if the mind is still wavering, going up and down its a trick of the mind that wants to play tricks with others and enjoys, it is a sign of ego, absolutely a sign of ego and then you start playing games, you enjoy it, yes, no, yes, no, you go on enjoying those games and later on you play into it so much that your marriages can never be happy or successful, that means you are not yet matured for marriage. For marriage you are to be matured.
But one of the reasons for this I find in the west, that you have had no training at all, parents have never told you how to behave towards your husband, towards your wife, how to make a marriage successful, that is a very important event and that we should try to establish ourselves in the marriage system, instead of that we use it as a nice trick playing ground, we miss the point, who is the loser? If you do on playing tricks like this and playing with your ego, whatever you may do, whatever type of marriages you’ll have, you can never be happy.
Now in the west as you know I lead another life also and every person I have met, every person whatever country they may come, nobody seems to be happy in their marriage. I was very surprised, it seems every wife finds something wrong with the husband, the husband finds something wrong with the wife and they have funny miserable faces, they don’t look like married people, but as if like criminals, or something has really gone wrong with them. There’s no smile on their face, they look horrid, because they have missed the point,
marriage is to be enjoyed, is for your enjoyment.
Supposing one gives you ambrosia, Amrut as they call it and then you start playing trick with it. Who is the loser? So must know that we have to achieved that maturity and enjoy that love, basically if something is very wrong, or if there’s no possibility of a proper marriage, in Sahaja Yoga we have arrangement, to give it up, you can change your wife, change your husband, no problem, but there must be some reason behind it, just for funs sake, if you want to spoil your life. I’ll try my level best to tell you, that don’t spoil your life and of the other person.
But people enjoy sometimes, spoiling somebody lives when it comes to the ego part, they themselves cannot enjoy, “dog in the manger” policy, dog in the manger cannot eat the grass, but barks at any bull that comes to eat it, its like this, neither they will enjoy, nor they will allow others to enjoy and when such stupid couples are there. I have such a headache all the time, reconciling them, talking to them, asking them, I mean it becomes a marriage buearo for me and sometimes I reach such a conclusion: no more marriages in Sahaja Yoga, had enough of it!
Actually what have I to gain out of it, this is nobody tries to understand, what I am trying is to make you happy to get you good husbands and good wives, that you should have good relationships, you should have great people on this Earth, to be born, that we should have a society which is beyond all this nonsensical societies which is so great that we can create a homogenous family among ourselves of purity and of holiness, instead of that, for petty nonsensical things if there’s a fight going on, one gets really fed up, of course one has to try, but if you are bent upon cutting your noses, how can I go on clipping them back, it’s an eternal problem, if you marry your say, seventy five people, you have the enjoyment of it
Now if it’s say a ocean of, Indian Ocean say for example, but then you get the Pacific Ocean back on your head with all the cries and weeping and shouting and screaming and all sorts of nonsense that going on.
So I again say that, now we are going to Puna where all the marriages are going to be confirmed, if you go on like this there’s no end to it, also those people who come for marriages and deny it twice, third time I dont ask them, because its a joke going on, you do not know how many nights I have spent selecting people, as it is you are from twenty five, thirty countries, yesterday you saw that, you have different conditionings,
different styles, different everything, heights different, ages different, faces different, aptitudes different, so combine all these things, so very difficult, sometimes I think if you are overeducated, them better to give you a simple woman, so that your little pressure is reduced, you can share with her but if you are equally educated people, then both the heads may be.
So I have to think of many things and of vibrations, but somehow or other you can defy and you try to defy it, alright doesnt matter, but who is the loser is the point, today I had to speak to you about this, because in Sahaj we have to take the way it comes as it comes, whatever comes in our way we should take it, we should not sort of say, “I have fallen in love.” There’s nobody falls in love, it rises in love in Sahaja Yoga, that is some funny idea, that one must fall in love; because you see that means you must do something sinful, or something absurd.
So many people have told me, “Mother I have not fallen in love with her.” How can you fall in love, you fall into some ditch, or you may fall into some river of something like that. I didn’t understand how do you fall in love, it’s a solid stuff, so this absurd idea of falling in love has to be given up, if it means that you have
felt the love, or if it means you have the sensitivity of feeling the love or something I can understand, I’m a little explanatory, but this falling in love business has been going on and on and on, now I would request you that in Sahaja Yoga we cancel this terminology.
So problems of marriages should not arise in Sahaja Yoga, you have chance for one month to decide for yourself and to find out for yourself, little bit adjustments and understanding can create such a beautiful world for you, its just waiting there, but suddenly you decide on some spot, suddenly your alright I find, at the spur of the moment I find suddenly you say No, I say what’s this? The horse was going alright suddenly what has happened it has turned round? One can understand a horse, but I can’t understand human beings.
So this whimsical behaviour suddenly, can be very injurious to the growth of Sahaja Yoga. Whenever I go to England there’s a list of people from all over the country, this marriage has gone rotten, that has gone rotten,
that has gone rotten, while I’m boasting to everyone that Sahaja Yoga marriages never fail.
I know its not true, but whatever I say is a Mantra, ultimately it becomes the truth. So time will come when no marriages will fail, but you have to join hands with me and co-operate and should understand, how much I have worked hard to bring about these events and marriages should not make you happy or unhappy, because to marry is not the ultimate in life.
But it happens after marriage people get lost, they don’t come to Sahaja Yoga, after that, we are enjoying our honeymoon for the last three years; wonderful Sahaja Yogis who are leaders suddenly get lost, that also may be a fall in love maybe, I don’t know, but this kind of nonsense, even if it is one or two its such a headache and I really don’t know how to solve this problems, because I think there’s no problem at all, only thing you have decided not to enjoy the anything. Supposing you don’t want to enjoy the food you can put some can put some quinine on your tongue and them say I dont like the food, something like that. It’s absurd, so try to help me in this, otherwise I’ll give up this marriage business I tell you because it doesnt give me any joy
or pleasure even one person plays like that I just don’t understand and for no rhyme and reason you should not say no.
First of all your must look at yourself in the mirror. What are you? What is your education? What is your intellect? What do you expect from another person? How much money you have got, how much money the other person had got, whatever you want to see, then see for yourself, to begin with, then compare, but the
greatest thing you have to think about, how many vibrations you have, how much Sahaja Yoga the other one knows, you are married for your ascent. If the other person has vibrations much more than yours, then your should not unnecessarily boast of nonsensical gross things; the person is much subtler, make yourself that, whether it’s a woman or a man I dont say, but I just say that see for yourself. Where are you?
Specially for beginners who are beginning to take to Sahaja Yoga, is better to marry some mature Sahaja Yogi so that they can ascend very well, much faster; and also if the other party is not so good, maybe, we have to work, we have to save that person, after all, they are not yet matured but they are Sahaja Yogis, they want to do, so try to work it out in that way.
I think you will understand the seriousness, this is the most important work that ever happened on this Earth so far, where marriages are very important and you have seen the photographs with the Gods themselves have blessed you, because of my consent, because of my selection, they all were present in your marriage and how they were giving you tributes and how they were putting flowers on the brides. You have seen the photographs. If you have not seen I will show you.
But if you are not a seeker and if your are not seeking your higher ascent, then you go into nonsensical things and nonsensical ideas. So better be careful not to do such a thing, don’t think too much of yourself, another note of caution, that you see the way Indians pamper their son-in-laws, so don’t get mad also they pamper their daughter-in-laws very much.
It’s dome in India to create better relationships, because we don’t have the balloon of ego so much here. But here as soon as somebody pays attention to you, you go off, so better be careful, its a custom here to look after the son-in-law, to look after the daughter, there is a custom, now it is ingrained from ages, it doesn’t mean that you are God, or you are in some superlative condition: it’s just that, that is how they pamper, they look after the daughter-in-law, or the son-in-law. Normally and you should not carry away ideas, which I must tell you because it doesnt happen in the west I have seen, they don’t care. Once that they are married they
are finished, it’s not so, so please be careful.
When you are marrying Indians, you will find the parents will quite pamper you, look after you, they’ll call you to their house, do this, give you money, give you ornaments, all kinds of things they’ll do, but still one has to understand that is just a custom and should not get pampered, on the contrary should feel blissful about it, but when it is done I have seen suddenly they go off and they think no end of themselves, their value system goes off, its because, so far we have had no education, no training about marriages, I am sorry I have to say this in the presence of many Indians, Indians also you see, expect you to understand their customs sometimes too much, for example yesterday the garlands were given, at the time when the garlands were given, you are not supposed to garland yourself, but some of you took the garland put it you, they regarded it as absolutely unmannerly, but it is so, so when we are in India we have to understand Indians, but when we are in the west we have to understand the western people.
For example in the west you just go on saying, thank you, thank, thank you, sorry, sorry sorry, sorry sorry sorry, it is so confusing sometimes, we have to go on shaking hands with so many people, I sometimes shake with their going back again better idea, see to shake hands with every sort of a person, you catch from every one, but is a custom, its custom so we have to understand this is a custom and which is not to be resented, is not such a bad custom. There’s nothing wrong in it and maybe there is no logic. For example garlanding yourself there is little logic, your don’t garland yourself, somebody else has to garland and the ladies don’t take garlands on their, you because any man cannot garland a lady, because is only husband has the right, so anyone won’t garland, or a son can garland the mother, but any man cannot garland any lady who is of a younger age, or who is not yet married and even if married, she has to be an old woman like me, then its alright, so these are customs very much ingrained and its best of logic that you cannot garland yourself
and walk on the street even if the leaders here are garlanded immediately they take out their garland.
Except for the Gods, I mean I can carry with my garland but I also take it out, so there are few customs which must be understood and there’s nothing wrong in it, there’s logic, whatever is illogical we can give up,
whatever is logical we have to lake it and understand it.
So I am just telling you, that yesterday they started laughing, children also started laughing also, because they thought they are garlanding themselves, its like doing Aarti to yourself you know amounts to that, so you can understand why they were laughing. They didn’t mean to hurt you in any way, but this is the system,
now coming to Sahaja Yoga yesterday was’ Left Vishuddhi was too much perhaps in the Morning I said you were very late for the formal programme I dont know, whatever I say has to be listened to thats all, only thing is next time we should not be late, in any formal programme, but it seems such a Left Vishuddhi was
there that I got a lump here and I just knew that it was so Mother says to you things which should not hurt you in any way and you should not take it that seriously but should understand that next time we should not do so, otherwise you are all wonderful people. You are beautiful people, I love you, I adore you, but I am very proud of you, I’m extremely proud of you, but I have to tell you something sometimes.
But if I tell you even we bit then if you, get that upset, I don’t know what should I do, so not to take things that seriously. There’s nothing so much wrong, in general I have to tell you things which you should understand its for our good, for our enjoyment, everything to increase your enjoyment, even your ascent in Sahaja Yoga is to increase your enjoyment, your sensitivity to joy to increase it more and more all this is done.
Today I have talked to you about little gross things, that seem also important of course I am always talking
about subtler things and subtlest, but gross things are also to be looked after, thats very important, we are integrated people so we cannot allow the subtle to fly in the air, it has to stay in the gross and the light has to come to the gross.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi