Adi Shakti Puja, “Detachment”, Rahuri (India), 11 December 1988.
The Puja has to start when it has to start. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting, then I realised that today was a very good time according to the calendar; but it is not in the morning, so it had to be the third day of the moon and as the moon is changing its phases in the day time, we had to wait till it started. I think, all these things have happened, of the theft and everything has happened, perhaps, to delay the Puja up to the point where it should start.
So in Sahajayoga we all go beyond time and we don’t have to worry about the timing; only when it’s a formal function or something, because the people are formal, they don’t understand our styles. So we have to be present there at right time, otherwise we should just allow the time to take its own course and we should know in our own way.
Now, for our travel and this tour, we have to realize that we are here to achieve a certain amount of height in our detachment, we have to rise into the realm of our state, while the circumstances around us, they are surrounding us and they should not make us unhappy, or biased, or we should not react to them, on the contrary, we should try to rise above that if there are no events of mishaps.
Then you cannot see the surmounting quality of the Divine, if the surmounting quality of the Divine has to be seen, we have to see the obstructions. For example, if there is the flow of the water going on and it is smoothly moving, there’s no happening as you call the “Ghatana”(happening), there is no happening, but if there is a stone them the water splashes against it, creates a beauty and surpasses it, this is the sign of Divine surmounting all the difficulties that are supposed to be there.
Now we are proceeding to Poona(Pune) and where we will be having a proper session also for marriages and all that, we will have to take a firm decision, I must speak about it today, that the steadiness of the mind is very important for the marriages. If you have certain concepts and if you are whimsical, it’s better you don’t get married, because that’s not found in indian character, once they decide for marriage they are married forever.
But if the mind is still wavering, going up and down its a trick of the mind that wants to play tricks with others and enjoys, it is a sign of ego, absolutely a sign of ego and then you start playing games, you enjoy it, yes, no, yes, no, you go on enjoying those games and later in you play into it so much that your marriages can never be happy or successful, that means you are not yet matured for marriage. For marriage you are to be matured.
But one of the reasons for this I find in the west, that you have had no training at all, parents have never told you how to behave towards your husband, towards your wife, how to make a marriage successful, that is a very important event and that we should try to establish ourselves in the marriage system, instead of that we use it as a nice trick playing ground, we miss the point, who is the loser? If you do on playing tricks like this and playing with your ego, whatever you may do, whatever type of marriages you’ll have, you can never be happy.
Now in the west as you know I lead another life also and every person I have met, every person whatever country they may come, nobody seems to be happy in their marriage. It is very surprising, it seems every wife finds something wrong with the husband, the husband finds something wrong with the wife and they have funny miserable faces, they don’t look like married people, but as if like criminals, or something has really gone wrong with them. There’s no smile on their face, they look horrid, because they have missed the point, marriage is to be enjoyed, is for your enjoyment.
Supposing one gives you ambrosia, Amrut as they call it and then you start playing trick with it. Who is the loser? So must know that we have to achieve that maturity and enjoy that love, basically if something is very wrong, or if there’s no possibility of a proper marriage, in Sahaja Yoga we have arrangement, to give it up, you can change your wife, change your husband, no problem, but there must be some reason behind it, just for fun sake, if you want to spoil your life. I’ll try my level best to tell you, that don’t spoil your life and of the other person.
But people enjoy sometimes, spoiling somebody lives when it comes to the ego part, they themselves cannot enjoy, “dog in the manger” policy, dog in the manger cannot eat the grass, but barks at any bull that comes to eat it, its like this, neither they will enjoy, nor they will allow others to enjoy and when such stupid couples are there. I have such a headache all the time, reconciling them, talking to them, asking them, I mean it becomes a marriage bureau for me and sometimes I reach such a conclusion: no more marriages in Sahaja Yoga, had enough of it!
Actually what have I to gain out of it, this is nobody tries to understand, what I am trying is to make you happy to get you good husbands and good wives, that you should have good relationships, you should have great people on this Earth, to be born, that we should have a society which is beyond all this nonsensical societies which is so great that we can create a homogenous family among ourselves of purity and of holiness, instead of that, for petty nonsensical things if there’s a fight going on, one gets really fed up, of course one has to try, but if you are bent upon cutting your noses, how can I go on clipping them back, it’s an eternal problem, if you marry your say, seventy five people, you have the enjoyment of it
Now if it’s say a ocean of, Indian Ocean say for example, but then you get the Pacific Ocean back on your head with all the cries and weeping and shouting and screaming and all sorts of nonsense that’s going on.
So I again say that, now we are going to Poona (Pune) where all the marriages are going to be confirmed, if you go on like this there’s no end to it, also those people who come for marriages and deny it twice, third time I dont’t ask them, because its a joke going on, you do not know how many nights I have spent selecting people, as it is you are from twenty five, thirty countries, yesterday you saw that, you have different conditionings, different styles, different everything, heights different, ages different, faces different, aptitudes different, so combine all these things, so very difficult, sometimes I think if you are overeducated, then better to give you a simple woman, so that your little pressure is reduced, you can share with her but if you are equally educated people, then both the heads may be.
So I have to think of many things and of vibrations, but somehow or other you can defy and you try to defy it, alright doesnt matter, but who is the loser is the point, today I had to speak to you about this, because in Sahaj we have to take the way it comes as it comes, whatever comes in our way we should take it, we should not sort of say, “I have fallen in love.” There’s nobody falls in love, it rises in love in Sahaja Yoga, that is some funny idea, that one must fall in love; because you see that means you must do something sinful, or something absurd.
So many people have told me, “Mother I have not fallen in love with her.” How can you fall in love, you fall into some ditch, or you may fall into some river or something like that. I didn’t understand how do you fall in love, it’s a solid stuff, so this absurd idea of falling in love has to be given up, if it means that you have felt the love, or if it means you have the sensitivity of feeling the love or something I can understand, I’m a little explanatory, but this falling in love business has been going on and on and on, now I would request you that in Sahaja Yoga we cancel this terminology.
So problems of marriages should not arise in Sahaja Yoga, you got chance for one month to decide for yourself and to find out for yourself, little bit adjustments and understanding can create such a beautiful world for you, it’s just waiting there, but suddenly you decide on some spot, suddenly you’re alright I find, at the spur of the moment I find suddenly you say, “No”. I say what’s this? The horse was going alright suddenly what has happened it has turned round? One can understand a horse, but I can’t understand human beings.
So this whimsical behaviour suddenly, can be very injurious to the growth of Sahaja Yoga. Whenever I go to England there’s a list of people from all over the country, this marriage has gone rotten, that has gone rotten, that has gone rotten, while I’m boasting to everyone that Sahaja Yoga marriages never fail.
I know it’s not true, but whatever I say is a Mantra, ultimately it becomes the truth. So time will come when no marriages will fail, but you all have to join hands with me and co-operate and should understand, how much I have worked hard to bring about these events and marriages should not make you happy or unhappy, because to marry is not the ultimate in life.
But it happens after marriage people get lost, they don’t come to Sahaja Yoga, after that, we are enjoying our honeymoon for the last three years; wonderful Sahaja Yogis who are leaders suddenly get lost, that also may be a fall in love maybe, I don’t know, but this kind of nonsense, even if it is one or two it’s such a headache and I really don’t know how to solve these problems, because I think there’s no problem at all, only thing you have decided not to enjoy the anything. Supposing you don’t want to enjoy the food you can put some can put some quinine on your tongue and then say I don’t like the food, something like that. It’s absurd, so try to help me in this, otherwise I’ll give up this marriage business I tell you because it doesn’t give me any joy or pleasure, even one person fails like that I just don’t understand and for no rhyme and reason you should not say “no’’.
First of all your must look at yourself in the mirror. What are you? What is your education? What is your intellect? What do you expect from another person? How much money you have got, how much money the other person had got, whatever you want to see, then see for yourself, to begin with, then compare, but the greatest thing you have to think about, how many vibrations you have, how much Sahaja Yoga the other one knows, you are marrying for your ascent. If the other person has vibrations much more than yours, then your should not unnecessarily boast of nonsensical gross things; the person is much subtler, make use of that, whether it’s a woman or a man I don’t say, but I just say that see for yourself where are you?
Specially for beginners who are beginning to take to Sahaja Yoga, is better to marry some mature Sahaja Yogi so that they can ascend very well, much faster; and also if the other party is not so good, maybe, we have to work, we have to save that person, after all, they are not yet matured but they are Sahaja Yogis, they want to do, so try to work it out in that way.
I think you will understand the seriousness, this is the most important work that ever happened on this Earth so far, your marriages are very important and you have seen the photographs where the Gods themselves have blessed you, because of my consent, because of my selection, they all were present in your marriage and how they were giving you tributes and how they were putting flowers on the brides. You have seen the photographs. If you have not seen I will show you.
But if you are not a seeker and if your are not seeking your higher ascent, then you go into nonsensical things and nonsensical ideas. So better be careful not to do such a thing, don’t think too much of yourself, another note of caution, that you see the way Indians pamper their son-in-laws, so don’t get mad, also they pamper their daughter-in-laws very much.
It’s done in India to create better relationships, because we don’t have the balloon of ego so much here. But here as soon as somebody pays attention to you, you go off, so better be careful, its a custom here to look after the son-in-law, to look after the daughter-in-law, there is a custom, now it is ingrained from ages, it doesn’t mean that you are God, or you are in some superlative condition, but it’s just that, that is how they pamper, they look after the daughter-in-law, or the son-in-law, normally and you should not carry away ideas, which I must tell you because it doesn’t happen in the west I have seen, they don’t care. Once that they are married they are finished, it’s not so, so please be careful.
When you are marrying Indians, you will find the parents will quite pamper you, look after you, they’ll call you to their house, do this, give you money, give you ornaments, all kinds of things they’ll do, but still one has to understand that it’s just a custom and should not get pampered, on the contrary you should feel blissful about it, but when it is done I have seen suddenly they go off and they think no end of themselves, their value system goes off, it’s because, so far we have had no education, no training about marriages, I am sorry I have to say this in the presence of many Indians, but Indians also you see, expect you to understand their customs sometimes too much, for example yesterday the garlands were given, at the time when the garlands were given, you are not supposed to garland yourself, but some of you took the garland put it you, they regarded it as absolutely unmannerly, but it is so, so when we are in India we have to understand Indians, but when we are in the west we have to understand the western people.
For example, in the west you just go on saying, thank you, thank you, thank you, sorry, sorry sorry, sorry sorry sorry, it is so confusing sometimes, we have to go on shaking hands with so many people, I sometimes shake hands with 900 people at a time, and while they are going back again 900 people, but I think “Namaste”(greeting with folded hands) is a better idea. See, to shake hands with every sort of a person, you catch from every one, but is a custom, it’s custom so we have to understand this is a custom and which is not to be resented, it’s not such a bad custom. There’s nothing wrong in it and maybe there is no logic. For example, garlanding yourself there is little logic, your don’t garland yourself, somebody else has to garland and the ladies don’t take garlands on their (neck), you see because any man cannot garland the lady, because it’s only the husband has the right, so anyone won’t garland, or a son can garland the mother, but any man cannot garland any lady who is of a younger age, or who is not yet married and even if married, she has to be an old woman like me, then its alright, so these are customs very much ingrained and it’s based on logic that you cannot garland yourself
and walk on the street, even if the leaders here are garlanded, immediately they take out their garland. except for the Gods, I mean, I can carry with my garland but I also take it out, so these are few customs which must be understood and there’s nothing wrong in it, there’s logic, whatever is illogical we can give up, whatever is logical we have to lake it and understand it.
So I am just telling you, that yesterday they all started laughing, children also started laughing also, because they thought, they(foreign sahajayogis) are garlanding themselves, it’s like doing Aarti to yourself, you know, amounts to that, so you can understand, why they were laughing. They didn’t mean to hurt you in any way, but this is the system.
Now coming to Sahaja Yoga, yesterday was, Left Vishuddhi was too much. Perhaps, maybe in the morning I said you were very late, for the formal programme, I don’t know, whatever I say has to be listened to that’s all, only thing is next time we should not be late, in any formal programme, but it seems such a Left Vishuddhi was there that I got a lump here and I just knew what it was so Mother says to you things which should not hurt you in any way and you should not take it that seriously but should understand that next time we should not do so, otherwise you are all wonderful people. You are beautiful people, I love you, I adore you, not only that but I am very proud of you, I’m extremely proud of you, but I have to tell you something sometimes.
But if I tell you even wee bit then if you, get that upset, I don’t know what should I do, so not to take things that seriously. There’s nothing so much wrong, in general I have to tell you things which you should understand it’s for our good, for our enjoyment, everything to increase your enjoyment, even your ascent in Sahaja Yoga is to increase your enjoyment, your sensitivity to joy, to increase it more and more all this is done.
[English translation from Marathi]
(24:28) Now, what I have to say to our Indian Sahajayogis, is that, we have to learn a lot from these foreign Sahajayogis. I told them don’t garland yourself, of course, it is not a big mistake. What happened is that they didn’t know anything about it, but we have to observe what we, ourselves, are doing in Sahajayoga.
Here, I find that we are still conditioned with the ideas of “my family”, “my house”, “my children”. It is alright that we have take care of our children, pay attention to their needs, but it is said (in scriptures) that “Udar Charitanam Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” (meaning For one with generous nature, the whole world is his family). Where is that generous nature?
So they are saying that Mataji, You (please) donate a land for an Ashram, (please) buy an Ashram. But, first, find out who is ready to live there. First, find out who all are going to live in that Ashram, then I will buy a land for an Ashram.
So they said Mataji, You will live there. Am I going to live in those many Ashrams? And you are trying to put Me in an Ashram? And what for do I need an Ashram? What for do I need Sahajayoga? What for do I need an Ashram? I have got everything. I am Everything (I am The All powerful ).
Then they said that, alright, Mataji, we will arrange for Your stay. I said, please don’t do it.
First, you make list of all those who are going to live in the Ashram, then I will donate money for the Ashram. Now, (that) I have started an Ashram in Delhi, I donated money and all that, no one is ready to live there, not even if they will be paid to live there. This is the case.
This means that these things happen because we are conditioned. One of the conditionings is that, we should have our own house. It has many advantages, husband can shout at the wife, he can say that I will eat this, I will eat that dish, I don’t like that, then the wife will cook the food of his choice.
Now, in an Ashram, he has to eat whatever food is cooked for all (the yogis). Everything is available but everyone does not get food as per their likes.Then how will the husband dominate the wife?
Again the wife also says I like this room, I like this only, I prefer my house, I will dote my children, I will ignore others’ children.
How can this go on? So what happens is that our concept of our universal family is not yet rooted inside us.
And about these people (foreign Sahajayogis) one good thing is that they are detached from their parents, fortunately, and thus, they live together enjoying with the universal family that we have newly established, understanding that this itself is our own house, our own mother, our own father. They are from different countries. They live happily together. See how it has worked nicely, see how the collective has manifested beautifully.
If Guruji presents a song, you (Indian sahajayogis) will hear it after a year, each one of them(foreign Sahajayogis) from different cities, different countries, sing the song correctly. But this is not the case here (with Indian Sahajayogis), for any song, even for Aarti, you need to refer to the book. What should I say about why this is happening in Maharashtra? You can’t sing even one song together. Then living together (in Ashram) is an impossibility. It is impossible for all of us to live together as one family. Because everyone wants to have their own house, their own wife, and their own children. And they are happy within that.
So (now) the solution is that the children should leave their families. Then everything will be alright. I don’t see another way. And that’s why wives of our (Indian) boys who were married and sent to live in other countries are complaining that these husbands don’t know how to do chores, they can’t live in Ashrams, they want to get out of the Ashrams. Until now they were used to living in their own house, hence they are finding it difficult to live in beautiful infinite world in an Ashram. It is difficult for people who live in finite and limited world.
But we have to remember that if we want to do Sahajayoga, we will have to live in an Ashram. So now I have found a midway out of this, that for the Indians, knowing that they can’t (continuously) live in an Ashram, that wherever there is an Ashram, to go and live there only on weekends. In that, they are saying the Mahabharat (TV series) is aired in the morning, then what do we do Mataji. I said then have a TV set and watch Mahabharat too.
What else can I do? Is this how we are going to achieve our great vision? It is said (in scriptures) that “Yerya Gabalyanche Kam Nohe, Tyala Pahijet Jatiche” (meaning this(Sahajayoga) is not for the fickle minded, we need to be born for it).
I have seen my father, my mother, they were in prison for many years (while fighting for Indian Independence movement), we were eleven children in all, to be looked after. How did Mahatma Gandhi achieve this? What trick did he use to achieve freedom? What for did he make people suffer the plight to achieve the goal of Indian independence? And why is it that you all can do nothing to obey Me? What is it?
There is only one difference between Gandhiji and Me. Gandhiji let the people face hardships right from the beginning. Cleaning up, washing the toilets, sweeping the roads, not to engage servants. Then they got used to it. and if they wished to join the freedom struggle, then they had to sacrifice everything. They all had be the embodiments of sacrifice. So what happened is that there would competition in sacrificing.
In Sahajayoga, is it the opposite. In Sahajayoga, there are only blessings. (They will say), Mataji, now we are alright but one of our hens died. To that extent this goes on in Sahajayoga. That means their hen should not die. To this extent, I am responsible for them. How could their hen die? Their hen should not die. Mataji has to look after this too. How could the hen die? We are doing Sahajayoga and how could our hen die? And they put a blame on Me for that. So to say, since there are only blessings in Sahajayoga, even little mishaps, I should not let happen to them. Let alone mishaps, not even a bruise is supposed to happen to them.
Each and every need has to be fulfilled.
Mataji, my son should get a job, then they need such and such to happen, they should get a child, oh, they got a girl child, they must get a boy child, that means I am so much accountable for fulfilling all their desires, if they are doing Sahajayoga. They question Me. Are You giving that or not, they ask? And in Marathi, we are rather outspoken.
They frankly say, You did not do this for us, You did not do that for us, You must do this for us, You must do that for us.
But why should I do this for you? Do I need Sahajayoga or do you need Sahajayoga?
In olden times, people used to go to the Himalayas, shivering in that cold, and their gurus would make them sit on the ice wearing only a loincloth. Then they would tested and if they failed, the gurus give the rod.
In Sahajayoga, we didn’t do such things. You all were made to sit on thrones, and have received these many blessings. But we should think, what have we given to Sahajayoga.
The fact is that nobody has given any money for Sahajayoga work. They don’t even want to pay for their food. To tell you the truth, this time, in Pune, I said, alright, I will look into the accounts and see why we are not getting money, what’s happening. Last time, 75 persons did not pay for their food, they ate free food for 7 days.
Hence I made a rule that this time I will deposit money in the bank here, I will look into it. So it was found out that there was a loss by 750 rupees. It was a lot. I had to pay but I said it is alright. You people only are going to lose by this miserliness. Still, I said, I will pay 100 rupees myself for each one of you, just to compensate. But still they were waiting to see if I will pay even 50 rupees more and reduce the coupons price again. All this, I am doing this for a trifle really, still they are looking to save pennies.
Above all, you are not giving even a single pie for Sahajayoga work. I don’t know if you all are contributing any trivial amounts regularly , but you must realize that you have received these many blessings but have you contributed anything to Sahajayoga? Did you work hard?
Did you do anything for God? I don’t want anything.
You are giving me too many saris. It is not necessary. I have too many. But nobody listens, no matter how much I tell them not to give. I don’t want anything from you. I do not even want the sari that you give me. And whatever Puja money you are giving, I am buying Puja items in silver for you all. I do not want anything.
But you all should do the hard work for Sahajayoga, do hard work for yourself, mingle with other people, ladies can invite other ladies for Haldi Kumkum ceremony (ladies’ event in which they apply bindi on each others’ forehead). Tell them about Sahajayoga.
Followers of other gurus do lot of publicity of their gurus. As I came, on the plane, I saw a follower of some guru. He was holding a banner and in that first class cabin he started giving a lecture about his guru and praising his guru. They even stand on the road and keep preaching. This is the reason why Sahajayoga is not spreading.
You all need to take on this responsibility. You have all the blessings but are you ready to shoulder some responsibility for Sahajyoga? Or am I supposed to do everything? As you all are sitting here, in meditation , all the Indian Sahajayogis should make a resolution and pray, Mataji (please) give us the power to take on the responsibility.
The soldiers were ready to even sacrifice their life for Shivaji Maharaj (The Maratha King), these Marathas, where are they now ? Just idling ? Where are they now? Or only the show offs have come to Me? You do not have to fight wars or conquer forts. But you have to realize that it is your responsibility to spread Sahajayoga.
Like a drunkard wants others to join their party, in the same way, you should feel like spreading the bliss that you are enjoying. You should feel that this is your responsibility.
I have to say this to the ladies as well. Ladies should invite other ladies. They are saying that men are intellectuals. However, the ladies are not that way. You have to work through them. It will work better. Invite them for Haldi Kumkum function. Visit them. And tell them how you are benefitted, how miracles took place, show them miracle photographs, then they will bring their husbands in line.
Gandhiji worked the same way. Gandhiji said he is working for the upliftment of Harijans(erstwhile untouchable caste) in India. He appealed to the ladies to donate their bangles(ornaments) and they did so rightaway.
I am not asking for all this. Nothing like that.
Invite the ladies for Haldi Kumkum. All of you get together. And do the spreading. This is not much trouble or expense. I have been doing all these things rather than Sahajayoga because all these things are important as well.
And I am talking to you about the subtler aspects as well, all the time. (36:06)
[Shri Mataji speaks in English]
Today I have talked to you about little gross things, that seem also important, of course I am always talking
about subtler things and subtlest, but gross things are also to be looked after, that’s very important, we are integrated people, so we cannot allow the subtle to fly in the air, it has to stay in the gross and the light has to come to the gross.
May God bless you