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Talk on leadership and responsibility, after marriage, end of India Tour, Alibag (India), 30 December 1988.
So we have come to the end of our tour and you all will be going to your countries in different directions. Now we have to look back and see what did we learn in this tour and what did we understand. There has been less talking from Me, I don’t know about you people, but there was a tremendous dynamic force which was working the movement, organization and the correction part of it. I do not know if you have felt that way, but should have, so many of you must have felt that within yourself there’s some sort of a dynamic happening.
This has come because now the attention of Sahaj has gone beyond the realm of only few collective Sahaja Yogis and when you open your heads to this new dimension, then suddenly you start thinking about all the problematic things you have to face. So far you have been like Brahmins, you see, keeping away from non-Brahmins, in the sense, keeping away from people who are not Realized, keeping your society away from them, keeping your vibrations all right. And trying not to expose yourself to these people who are, according to you, maybe half-baked or maybe they are not yet in Sahaja Yoga.
But I think now you are quite capable. Now, you’ve reached a stage where nothing can harm you, nothing can catch you. Now you have to catch them. You have learned how to catch them. Like the sharks you have to first learn how to catch the sharks. If you don’t know how to catch the sharks and if you face them they’ll eat you off. In the same way now you know how to face life. So this time I felt that already a tremendous force is working within us.
But there are certain problems which are within and which are without, which we should very objectively see. The problem of a Sahaja Yogi even of a very high status in Sahaja Yoga is still ego, because still people argue quite a lot among themselves, sometimes with Me also. But if the Cosmos is working for the whole success of Sahaja Yoga and if the laws of the Cosmos are so definite and so helpful, then I think you should not argue it out or think it that: “This could be this way this would be better that way, I didn’t like this, I didn’t like that.” This argumentativeness from your mind has to go, “I did not like”, this does not exist within us now, that “I did not like.” What is this “I”? If it is the Spirit, It has no likes and dislikes. If it does not like something it corrects it or it just avoids it, gets out of it, but does not react and does not say that: “I did not like it, I don’t like it” or “I don’t want it.”
The reason you must know, first and foremost thing is this, that Sahaja Yoga is nothing just sermoning or something in words but it exists, it is there. Now you have come into Sahaja Yoga, gradually you have learnt through experience that it is so, it’s a fact, it’s a very big thing. Not only that, but that is what has penetrated into your being, it is there. So, once you know that there’s such a dynamic force which thinks, which organizes and which loves, how can you argue out with that force, it is going to work it out in its own way, so this one point of argument, if it is there that means you still have to be in the Nirvikalpa, you are still in thoughtless awareness all right, but in Nirvikalpa.
The reason is there are new people who are coming they are not at your level, so then you get angry with them, you get upset with them. That upsetting doesn’t end there it reacts on you also, that’s why you have seen in My lecture there will be thousands, but when it comes to meeting you people there maybe hardly four-five. The reason is that you are the one who are lacking in communicating.
Now, one day, there was one gentleman who came to see Me and he told Me: “Mother I once came to your lecture”, say in France or something, “and I was very enamoured the way you told us and talked to us, and so sweetly you put those ideas into our heads and you were so kind, so patient you know. But when we meet the leaders, they just, are like bulldozers. You face them they just come on us like a bulldozer. Then it’s impossible for new people to come in.”
Now, if there is a force which is Cosmic force, which is acting through you, you are just the channel and it is working through you then allow your channel to work it out, but if there is this ego business and there is not proper handling of those who are coming to you, you have to be extremely sweet and kind to them! But I was told even in the hall people are extremely arrogant with them, when they come to My program. So this shows that still you are not there it is anti Sahaj behaviour.
You have to be extremely kind, extremely sweet and very wise about everyone. Let everyone come in, let everyone sit down I’ll manage it, I can look after it. So this is one thing is that reacts on you, on your Sahaja Yoga temperament is when you start getting angry with others, or scolding them or shouting at them, or arguing. I think less we talk the better it is, so that at least the temper that you have will not have expression of that kind. But the temper also is something if you suppress it also it will act like a suppress it and you can become volcanic sometime.
So in this tool we have to learn one thing is that it is more the silence within us which is powerful, silence is the most powerful thing we have got. If somebody argues some outsider comes you just keep silent about it, you get patience and you will be able to help with them. This I have to tell you because already I have been touring all the countries and when I finished the touring this is what I find that there are very few people who are coming to Sahaja Yoga. Now this dynamic force wants to work through you, you are the instrument. Now if this instrument is not conveying to you what I have to say to you, how will it be possible to communicate? So Sahaja Yogis have to develop a mannerism which is very much Sahaj, sweet and must learn how to overcome few obstacles or few arguments that are around.
There are sweet ways of talking. Like yesterday when you got married I did know how will I speak to you about having a nice time in your marriage because what I find that after marriage you start thinking, “Well will I be able to manage, will it be compatibility,” or this and that because you all have read all that, is in your head, so you start thinking about it then you start criticizing your spouse about it or something, “Now it doesn’t work out, I don’t feel happy in the heart,” something like that nonsense, you see, “I have not fallen in love or I have not risen in madness.”
All these stupid ideas start crawling up like snakes and they just eat you off. That’s why I didn’t know how to tell you because I could see that clearly that it was working in some minds, in some women’s mind and in some men’s mind, so I just wanted to tell them then I thought, better put some chocolates and now I said, “They have some chocolates for you, you must be tired better have some chocolates,” and then I gave a bit of My mind.
Because if you want to hit yourself, who can stop you? If you want to cut your own nose, then nobody can stop you. If you want to destroy your married life nobody can stop it, can you? So those who are married when I had to deal with them I didn’t want to say something that would really upset them and shock them, so I started with a chocolate, and then I did say what I had to say, because I don’t want you to become miserable after marriage with all the work we have put in, I mean all these people have lost their weight they say, in arranging these marriages, they’ve got all the saris, you have been so worried about your veil, this, that and doing after all that then suddenly you discover that you are not compatible of something like that, some funny word and that is how the marriage fails.
So this kind of intelligence is not needed, it is absolutely destructive and stupid which gives you ideas. Now this dynamic force is working it out, this for you, that you got really good matches, very good matches. This time it was really very good, very well done I should say how it worked out, in the beginning it looked formidable, because we had boys who were all below 30 and all girls were above 40 years. I thought now its impossible situation. How are we going to manage this show, but it was managed and so many marriages took place, can you imagine?
So that’s this dynamic force just worked it out somehow or other and we managed it. But this dynamic force is working out everything for us, it has done so much good for us, it had brought such joy for us, not only the wedding part, but the whole of it, it has given us Realization, it has given us the idea of our existence and also it has given us strength to abide by our experiences. Despite all that if you just start like a jack-in-the-box some idea comes into your head and you start thinking, “Oh God would have been better if the boy was shaved off, or the girl was one inch smaller.”
So what I am trying to tell you that this kind of temperament and stupidity has to be left behind if you really want to enjoy life, otherwise you’ll be very difficult for yourself and for the bridegroom or the bride. So try to be nice and sweet, I decide that I am going to enjoy my married life and not to say that I am going to work it out.
You cannot work it out, you have just jump into the sea of it. In the same way in Sahaja Yoga also, we have to see that we have jumped into the ocean of joy. Are we also joy giving or not? All the leaders especially in every place wherever I go, I have to tell you that you have to be joy giving, yourself. For those who come and see you, meet you new people especially, they should just feel your joy. They will never be impressed by your ego or your super-ego unless and until they are possessed.
They’ll be only impressed by your calm, sweet and compassionate nature, because this force is working through you can be seen. Not only on your face there is light, no doubt, but in your heart, there is light or not is to be seen and that light has to be welcomed, has to be asked to come in and this should be your prayer that let this dynamic force work through me.
Now this dynamism is of a very different type. This dynamism has no heat in it, it has no anger in it, it has no destructive forces, it has no cursing, no frustration. Is a force, why I’m saying, “no, no, to this”, then we reach a place, then what is it? They say, “Ya neti, neti wachane nigamor awachus.” When you go on saying, not this, not this, not this, then what?
Because nothing else can be compared with that. That’s why we have to take the situation, this is not that, this is not that, so when you are dealing with anybody, or when you are dealing with yourself also you have to use the same method. This is not Sahaj, this is not Sahaj, this is not Sahaj, so ultimately what is Sahaj remains. It is a practice, abhyase (Sanskrit for practice), practice of your own understanding. For a small, small thing people feel insulted, there’s a protocol there’s a proper channelizing of that. Supposing I put this one there and that one here, this may feel insulted, it’s like that, but this has to be here and this has to be here, so there’s nothing to feel insulted about it or anything like small things people get upset with each other, I am upset. I will set you right now, how can you be upset? Is a common complaint, Mother I am very upset, I mean that means something wrong with me the way I have put you down there, on your settings, so best thing is now to understand that you are no more upset, you are quite fixed in Sahaja Yoga. Only keep on sticking on to your positions and this dynamic force will move.
Now your experiences of Sahaja Yoga are such a lot. You can tell them, you can talk to them, you can express them, we are making a book out of it, but these experiences are outside you or inside you. If you have an experience outside it is of no use. The spiritual experience has to be inside you, means you have seen something miraculous. Now what is the reaction of your being to it? Supposing you see a miracle something happens to you as a miraculous thing, then what is your reaction, to it? What do you feel with this? For example somebody told me how they were helped to come directly to, to Bhuga, directly from the airport, to the Bhuga, without knowing anything where the program was. What should be the reaction of a person at that time? We should see this, the first reaction could be, Oh God how we have come here, it’s very nice this and that, but actually the reaction should be, that after all we are looked after by God. It’s all done by God. He’s brought us here. It’s just to confirm your faith.
All these miracles are happening but you must have faith in yourself that you are a Realized Soul and that you are a higher being, and you are capable of doing such benevolence to others. This faith should be within you and just once you have this faith that you have all these things you’ll have the self confidence of love. What is lacking is the self confidence in your love. If I do this then that person will take advantage, if I do that, that will happen. Many a times people tell Me also, “Mother why did you give so much money to that person? Why did you do that?” I said, “I did it that’s all.” But why I did it because I have faith. I have faith that doing good to others one day that person will be good to me. He’ll be good to Sahaja Yoga. So try to do good, don’t try to cut anybody short, don’t try to throw somebody out because somebody is something not up to your standard.
So this is also substandard, that we discard people on certain things. During this tour I think the Western Sahaja Yogis have behaved very well. They have been very kind and let us give them a hand, just give them a hand. There have been, I mean no accidents like, burning the skin and all that, but I saw some people still very hot and red in the sun the temptation was too much but still I would say that there were very few who really burnt their skins. Like that we always have some mishaps, something so it all worked out well and you all are safe and sound and enjoying yourself. But now, today being also New Year’s Eve for us, so we have to take a vow what we are going to do for next year. How are we going to use this power? This should be our problem now, nothing else. How are we going to use this power? So first is to imbibe love within ourselves because this is a power of love, first and foremost is. Now you will be going away today, meet people, here there are many people, Indians also whom you may not be knowing, meet them, you have to bid farewell to all your friends, meet all of them you are going away after one year you may meet, may not meet, so they’re your relations, they are your own, so you can express your love to them and say how nice you felt and all those things, as if you are leaving your own Mother and going away because in you I live. Then the idea of love should be brought to some sort of a form. How are we going to spread this message of love to people?
On two ways you can work it out. How individually you can do it and how collectively you can do it. So I have to make one suggestion to the leaders that whatever suggestions come to you, from the people you must accept. You are just leader there because you have to just communicate with each other. You are not to dominate anybody, you are not to sort of dictate anything to anybody, but you have to be a communication person for Me and them. So now you should see that how these people are giving you new ideas, note them down. Don’t think that you are the only one who has ideas, get ideas from them. They might get ideas from the Cosmos again. They may tell you something, this should be done and should be noted down and recorded, that yes this was said, this was to be done and then try to follow whatever is possible. If you are in doubt you can always telephone to Me and find out. But involve them in this dynamism.
Everybody’s involved, like I told you last time it was on My birthday, I mean all of you could have sent Me a card individually it was all right, or you could have sent Me a flower or something. I have relations with you directly so it should not depend on your leader that when he says we’ll send it, and the leader should not say “without showing me you cannot send a flower to Mother”, and between flowers and Me you can’t stand.
Your job is only to communicate, but you must take everybody into consideration. This is the point where I think sometimes the leaders go arbitrary. One of them was like changing the school, when you have the school. They brought the school from Melbourne, to Sydney and I was surprised I was never told about it. It is a serious thing. All such happenings can be told to Me. Also you can send Me a tape with all little things that are doing well, or you can write to Me, which I will be very happy to go through it and to find out. Before throwing out anybody from the ashram, you have to send the photograph of that person to Me and ask Me if you could throw out that person or not. You have to respect them because they are Yogis. They are not ordinary students from some place that you can go on throwing them out. So you have to give reasons why you want to throw them out. Every person is important to Me and why it is that you feel that that person has to go by, that person will be helped by another who will be helped.
So you have to give substantial reasons for that otherwise I won’t like it anybody thrown out, just because he answered you back, or that he said something to you. It has to be very mutually understood, that Mother has appointed these leaders because She has faith in them, so you should just talk to them and listen to them. Now there are people I know, who are always their habit of group forming. Whether it is x, y, z, whosoever may be the leader they can form groups and they are trouble shooters. So anybody who tries to say things against leaders you should not, you should not listen to them, but in case you find really something very seriously wrong with the leader, you can write to Me. Always you can write, but I don’t like people who have, just because somebody has not been nice to you personally, or may be something has gone wrong personally, that’s why you are criticizing the leader. If basically you find out what’s wrong with that person and write to Me, immediately I’ll know that that’s definitely wrong. I can make it out and there’s no time spare for that, I mean I don’t have to even say that all right I’ll think, I’ll just immediately I’ll tell you this is wrong.
So, to work it out this force within us and to understand it fully well, what is it we must understand a kind of a, not slavery, but an obedience. For example, I told not to bring many big bags, I saw the boys today breaking their hands on these bags. Now those girls who bring heavy bags will have to carry their own bags next time. You should point them out who they are and I’ll give one bus for them, they have to get down to the bus take out their. It’s definitely I’m going to do that. It is out of my love for the boys who have to take out the boxes. If you are buying something in any place, we can make a device by which everything can meet you in Bombay. You need not carry out with you, but today I saw them in the morning I was amazed how they were carrying such heavy loads, now that means you have no love for you don’t understand, that how much it has to be done.
So, little, little things can suggest that you are not in Sahaj. In Sahaj we think about others, am I troubling others am I in any way harming others, not is just a question of saying sorry, that’s not in Sahaja Yoga. You just don’t so something that you have to say sorry. There’s no need to say “thank you”, but you do something that will create gratitude, express your gratitude. So, we don’t believe in words, if you have gratitude for someone then give them a present, just saying “thank you” is just a word, give them a present, or do something good turn to him. Now if you go on like this there’s no end to it but to come to the main point is this way, that we are in a whirlwind, it’s not only cool breeze, it’s a whirlwind now. So what do we have to do?
We have to move with it, we have to have the same speed, we have to have a complete nature of the same, we have to be one of that. So it is within us that we see this, and without we’ll see that, but we are moving with speed the rest of the world is not, so now how to go round it and how to engulf it into ourselves. All these things are not weight for you because you are Realized Souls, it might be weight for people who are not Realized.
You understand what I’m trying to say but still I feel some of you feel that I’m talking about others, not about you. Now think that: “It’s all about me Mother is talking. It’s all I have to do it, I have to be responsible.” And this sense of responsibility has to come to you that we are in the whirlwind and to take this whirlwind all around the world, “I am responsible. What am I doing about it?” Just you see like, you visit the centre, all right we will visit at the centre. So what? People think that if they visit the centre then they should be given all the blessings. Why should they be given blessings for visiting the centre? Instead of going to some wretched place they are going to the centre, which is a good place, so why that should be blessed? After all, their already blessed so much, or they think that, Oh we have been in the collective, we have been this way.
What have you done for Sahaja Yoga is very important. And that has to be seen, how many people have you really loved, really loved, sincerely? We have to count, that’s very important. Then what have we done for Sahaja Yoga constructively? You won’t feel happy unless and until you have done something. Say, I’m a mother and a child is born to me, I just have to look after the child that’s the nature of a mother to look after the child, to do everything for the child, to get up in the night, so many times one has to get up that love compels you to do it. But if that love has not entered into you, it has not become part and parcel of your being, you will not be compelled. You will be just compelled! You cannot help it.
That is the best way you should say that now you have dissolved yourself completely into this dynamic force. So, I’m sure next time when I come I will have better news, much better news, otherwise normally I go to any place they say: “Mother this one has disappeared another has gone away, fourth one has run away and a fifth one is missing.”
So, this should not be such, it is your responsibility to see that Sahaja Yoga you work it out, for yourself and for others, with love. So, I for a Mother, to see all of her children are going away I have said quite a lot, it’s not easy to say much on such an occasion, but I have to gather up courage and time and decide that I have to tell them all about it, because now it is your responsibility to work it out. It’s your responsibility.
In your own way think it, what can we do for Sahaja Yoga? In everything you can see Sahaj. You will get ideas pass them on, write them down, write your poetry, so many things can be done by all of you and there’s no time to be wasted any more it has to be a very fast job, because this universe is standing on the brink of its’ destruction, and we are the only people who have to save it.
So, it’s emergency for us. In that emergency one has to know that the nature of Sahaj itself is working out everything, but if this does not work, in right time, then we’ll have to have another world, which is another problem.
So, we have to think seriously about it and understand the essence of everything and understand yourself why you do such and such things. Once you start this method “not this, not this, not this” [neti, neti], I’ll be not surprised that your growth will be very much faster, very much faster and I’ll see you as very well established “Nirvikalpas”, very soon. I bless you that you mature very much in your spirituality.
May God bless you.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi