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Shri Devi Puja, “The Essence of Self Respect”. Istanbul (Turkey), 27 May 1989.
I’ve been desiring all the time that I should go to Turkey or Tunisia where there could be an entry into the Islamic world, because they have been promised that they will be resurrected, and that resurrection has to take place.
For that I have to venture and give them their resurrection which is promised by Mohammed Sahib, I mean that’s My duty; and not only duty, but I’m bound by it, that I have to tell them about their resurrection and to save them. They deserve it, no doubt.
When all the religions prospered in a very funny manner, I would say, separately, everyone thinking they are the best, the chosen ones, the highest ones, the greatest ones, believing in themselves, they started going down and down and down. The reason is, you see, there is no respect for each other. And the respect is not there because there is no respect for oneself. If you respect yourself, you respect others also; but when you have no respect for yourself, you cannot respect others; but you should bombastically say that “I’m this, I’m that, I’m that” – any religion. Then your ego works, and ego makes you a person who does not know about yourself.
If somebody has respect for oneself, he will never push forward, he will never try to be something prominent, he’ll never try to show off. On the contrary such a person would be hesitant to do something out of the way, something arbitrary, something showy, because it is absurd, and it is stupid. So to do something stupid is a sign of ego, absolutely ego makes you stupid, and ultimately with it you become idiotic.
So the respect for oneself has to be developed and as Sahaja Yogis you have to respect yourself. We are Sahaja Yogis, so how can we do like that?”. As I told you that if you teach your children all the time that “You are Sahaja Yogis, you are something exceptional”, then they will have respect for themselves, self-respect.
Is a very good word, “self respect.” I don’t know how many people know about it. Only when they are insulted or troubled they think of their self respect, otherwise they go amok and behave in such a manner that as if they have no self-respect of any kind. So as Sahaja Yogis we have to have self-respect. And when we have to have Sahaja Yoga as our manifestation, as our personality, as Yogis, we have to have a sense of self-respect. And even now you can find on the periphery you find many people who lack self-respect and understanding.
Some people are still sort of parasitic. Some people hang on to things when they are told not to hang on, to take it easy, to work it out, they try to assert, “No, we’ll be there, we are going to be there, we are going to fight it out.”
That’s not for a self-respecting person; it’s a foolish thing to do. Like two persons were going, one up on the staircase, another coming down. So the one who was going up in his ego, he says, “You better move; I don’t move for fools.” So the another one says, “I do” and he moved. (Laughter)
So this is what is the sign of a sensible, wise, self-respecting person. He doesn’t go into fights, he doesn’t go into unnecessary discussions and arguments and assertiveness, but he sees – “Wait, is it worth it?”.
But when it comes to protection of truth, he stands up and he can find for – lot of courage for the truth. I think self-respect is the first beginning for Sahaja Yoga, is to develop self-respect in their inner being as well as in their manifestation.
It shows very well in protocol also, like I’ve seen people who – supposing I have to go to Brighton, “Mother is going, all right we’ll go in Her car.” If it was for My love, that’s different; but just to save some money, “Let’s just jump into the car”- that’s not a sign of a good Sahaja Yogi.
Then it is also in power, when they have to express their power, you see. Like the other day one girl came to Me, she had given realization, she was all right.
Second day she came, “Mother, I lost my vibrations.”
I said, “Why, what happened? With whom were you talking?” So she told Me the name of a lady who was asked to get out of Sahaja Yoga, Alice, and she talked to Alice. This Alice was allowed to come to the program but she took over as if she is a great Sahaja Yogini explaining Sahaja Yoga to this lady and finished her vibrations.
Now this lady is such an important thing because she was going to Florida.
If she is just allowed to come in the program she thinks she is now a very big Sahaja Yogini and she can talk to anyone whatever she wants to, and spoil the vibrations of another person.
If I’ve appointed somebody as a leader, it is not on the basis of their looks or education or anything, but on their vibrations and their dedication.
So the Sahaja Yogis have to seriously think about it – such people are always around to show off their knowledge.
You see, Sahaja Yoga is so easy the knowledge part of it, it is very easy.
Anybody who is intelligent enough can read: this is the chakras, this is this, they can give big lectures, explain this deity sits on this chakra.
It’s so simple. But the compassion and knowledge, hand in hand, makes a Sahaja Yogi.
Now some people have another style, is of compassion. Naturally compassion is always sympathy, as I told you, except when it is with knowledge is all right.
But just compassion – with compassion they will always sympathize with all the bhootish people. If there’s one bhootish person in Sahaja Yoga, he’ll bring ten more on Me, “Mother, look after this person, look after this person, look after that person.”
Firstly because that person was damaged and secondly because that damaged personality thinks that “Another is damaged, let us save this damaged person.”
All right, if it is so, first of all you should be all right, and tell that person to “work on yourself”, because if you try to help that person, your negativity will increase. You’ll go from bad to worse.
Always sympathies will go to a person who is not all right, we should say. So you tell such a person, “All right, you work it out this way, but I have nothing to do with you” or send that person to somebody who is a egoistical, so they share better (laughter). There’s complimentary (Shri Mataji laughs) between the two and it works out better and saves Me a little worry.
But beyond all this the combination of these two actually must emit vibrations. It is how many vibrations you have within yourself is the point which one should see.
First the vibrations when they are, how are we to know we are all right as far as vibrations are concerned?
What is the sign of being a good Sahaja Yogi, or we are really Sahaja Yogi, is that we develop a kind of a detachment. First the detachment comes naturally because you are away from your body, so you are not bothered about your body, you don’t think about it. That doesn’t mean you do not look after it. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have any sense of how you look and how you move about, because you have to be decently dressed also.
But attachment means that all the time thinking, “This chakra is catching, that chakra is catching, my head is catching, my Agnya is catching, this is happening.” This is the subtler way how Sahaja Yoga can ruin you, is this all the time thinking “This is wrong, this is wrong”, condemning yourself.
So this detachment has to be there about yourself, “No, doesn’t matter, so what, I’m like a barometer. If I go near somebody and if I catch well and good, you see, I’m just helping that person, well and good.”
Or you give yourself a bandhan and just approach somebody.
So worrying too much about your chakras is not a very good thing for the progress of Sahaja Yoga. On the contrary, you should try to meditate, don’t think of individual chakras, just meditate with your heart. So now you will see from My lecture, or whatever you call this, is that you have to have a heart which is open to Sahaja Yoga. When your heart is open, first of all you forgive yourself and you forgive others, and you don’t see to your individual chakras or bother about others in the way that you are concerned about one individual, but you look at the whole as a whole.
You will then start talking about Sahaja Yoga – “How is Sahaja Yoga spreading, how many people are getting realization, how much responsibility I have done.” “I should have done” means not ego out of it but “I should do, what work can I do here, what mistakes we Sahaja Yogis have committed that it has not worked out, what is the situation, how I can help?”.
This kind of a, you see sort of as if, like you really become a light and you want to give light. So what’s wrong with the lamp which is not giving light?
But you don’t think about yourself, you think as a body, the whole thing.
This is the first thing is to open your heart. As soon as you open your heart you will widen yourself, you’ll grow. For that you need not condemn yourself but opening your heart is – look at this ocean how it is touching all the shores but it is in itself, in its own maryadas. If you try to press the ocean from any side it will show the other side. You cannot press it. It has its height, it has its limitations, it stays in its own limitations.
So open-hearted person is like this, it touches every shore but keeps to itself, its own maryadas. So this understanding if it comes the expansion also is in such a manner that you do not go into individual corners and individual places, but you keep to yourself and you touch everyone. This is the opening of the heart when we say.
Then a Sahaja Yogi will have automatically a proper discretion, discretion how far to say, how far not to say, how far to go, how far to behave. Immediately you can find out a Sahaja Yogi who tries to show off and wants to talk about something they don’t know and gets hold of ten people around you and talk about Sahaja Yoga.
Anybody who sits round like that, never go near that person. I discovered a horrible woman in England who used to do that. And then she formed a group against the whole system, but she caught hold of the leader itself and all of them had to get out of Sahaja Yoga. So one has to understand that we have to be simple people, not complicated. For that heart has to be open – that’s all I can say, open your heart. Not, it’s not imaginary, it is a state I think, in which you have to be stationed to be self-satisfied.
This is a very good way of approaching Sahaja Yoga for yourself and for others.
If you want Me to say – rather embarrassing – but if you put Me in your heart, heart has to increase because of My size you see, you can’t help it (last sentence actually not audible because of people’s laughter. Shri Mataji laughs). It has to grow.
So that’s the best, easiest way to do it, you see? You are such lucky Sahaja Yogis that I’m there with you. You don’t have to do anything. Put Me in your heart, finished. You are all right now, no problem.
Not that “I love you, Mother”, but is the point is “I put you in my heart.” But don’t ever think like this: “Mother loves me, because I can cook for Mother, because I can look after Her sari, I can press Her sari” – then it’s ego. The other way round becomes immediately ego, I tell you. I didn’t know but there are instances of this kind. Immediately it becomes an ego.
But if you say “How much I love Mother” – just admire yourself – “Oh, I love Mother so much”. And you’ll feel very fine within your heart, as so joy-giving. Imagine people who never had Me with them, who came on this earth, had to fight for dharma, had to fight for righteousness and for truth, how they must have fought. But I am before you, so it is “How much I love my Mother”, is a very simple method, a basic method for every Sahaja Yogi to discover oneself, and to develop oneself.
Then the discretion, the light, everything just starts emitting. You see yourself in that light and you walk in that light and people see that you have light.
Now you are convinced about Me. You have seen photographs, you have seen the sun, the reaction, everything you have seen it. So now that you can love such a person, itself is a very big boon for us that we love Mother. Even if you think that I have not yet said “hello” to you, or sometimes I may not look at you – maybe. But it’s not Me – it’s you. I, in any case, love the whole world – no question!
Nobody more, nobody less. But how far you are closer to Me depends on you because I’m a fixed quantity. How far you move towards Me is the point. I’m a fixed quantity and sometimes people are amazed that “Why Mother was not all right with us this time?”. Actually I stand wherever I am, but you have moved away.
So all kinds of discretions start flowing into you. Even you are convinced that I’m the Adi Shakti and there are so many convincing facts that you have – photographs are there, and all happenings are there, miracles, everything, everything is there. Still you are floating, floating on these ideas that “Oh, look at this, this is Mother’s photograph, this is what has happened.” Still you are floating.
If you really want to go deep down, you have to just feel your heart. There you’ll find the miracle. These outside miracles are to push you in and there you will grow, and grow in a better way.
That’s the only thing we have to find out and discover. This will really help Sahaja Yogis who are new, you see, when they will see how you love Mother.
Yesterday only we have parked our car in a funny way perhaps, maybe, and they were all about to quarrel and fight Mr. Guido.
They might have beaten him, beaten him also, but he said – “Why did you park here?”.
He said, “It’s my Mother who has come. I’ve parked it here because my Mother can’t do this”, finished.
As it is anybody who loves his Mother, as it is, is regarded something very good. Now the Mother is horrid; still if you tell them, “My Mother is horrid” people won’t like it. But you say that “I love Adi Shakti.”
Who is it?
Yogi: Oh. Put him out.
Shri Mataji: Who is he?
(There is some confusion. Yogis says one name.)
Shri Mataji: Who?
Yogi: Mr…(unclear name) from Switzerland.
Yogi: They came without asking.
Shri Mataji: Put your, put your hand on his heart, doctor. See, this is how we help. He didn’t understand what I was talking. Put your hand on his heart.
Yogi: He never should, never should come without asking us.
Shri Mataji: No, it’s all right, it will be all right.
Yogi: He should never come without asking us.
Shri Mataji: Is all right. (Aside) What to do… Open the window perhaps, maybe.
Yogi: Are there certain modifications… (then inaudible) (Shri Mataji then says something inaudible. Then:) Correct, you are there. Is Nikolas (?) that?
Shri Mataji: Are you all right now?
Absolutely, in the beginning if you pick people up like, … you have to tell him (?) just for the puja it’s too much vibrations and too much for themselves to absorb. So you have to be careful. But this Nikolas (?) is all right, he has suffered so much, that it’s good for him that he came to the puja, must be about him. (She laughs). But now only you must choose people who can come to puja, everybody can’t bear, you see, this is too much of vibrations. But, you see, I know who can come very easily… very poor things – some of the seekers have suffered so much that one puja can settle them down completely. It’s all right now, see. Are you all right now?
Person: It is.
Yogi: He will never again.
Shri Mataji: Eh?
Yogi: He will never again.
Shri Mataji: … You know, you know you have a right. You are on the right path.
So we again go back to the same point is of self-respect. When you reach that state of love, you respect yourself, then you don’t condemn. “Because I love Mother, how can I do such a thing that will bring bad name to Her? That’s not behoving the way I should be. I have to behave in a way that My Mother likes.”
The whole all question is solved because you have somebody before you, and you know what I like and what I don’t like. So always you’ll try to do things which will be pleasing to Me, but actually it is not such a material pleasing but is the essence of it, the essence of pleasing, and that if you know what will make Me feel pleased. Actually I get lost when I think about My pleasing, I think there’s nothing that pleases Me or displeases Me. But maybe the Deities part of it, maybe that part of Me, maybe. Because They always do things which will please Me. They know. So in the same manner, if you can really work it out, you’ll get that inner inspiration and understanding. The essence of everything, we are on the principle of it, the tattwa.
So the essence of everything if you catch, what is the essence of this? Now put that test to anything, just on the essence if you try to live the rest is looked after.
So the self-respect, the essence of self-respect is “because I’m a Sahaja Yogi, because I have got Self Realization and because I love my Mother”.
This is the essence. If we can look to the essence of flowers – why there are so many varieties? So many varieties of flowers, just see. Just tremendous. Why?
Because essence of beauty, the aesthetics of beauty, is variety.
Every leaf, if you take out each leaf it cannot be matched with anyone in the whole world, exactly it will not be. So the essence of aesthetics is variety. So we have to have Sahaja Yogis of different varieties, of different nature, of different humor, to humor ourself. We are not to have everybody just the same.
But in the essence of it, all of them have to love the Mother. Then the best of yours that you enjoy the most, not the flowers so much, not the nature so much, nothing more than other Sahaja Yogis.
Once you start enjoying other Sahaja Yogis and their company, then you have achieved it.
I mean, imagine enjoying every human being who is a Sahaja Yogi and their company, then it’s more than sufficient. What more do you want?
You don’t enjoy other people, you don’t enjoy other things so much. But if you are in a beautiful place and beautiful circumstances and you are with other Sahaja Yogis also, then nothing like this. It becomes doubly enjoyable I should say, and every moment becomes an experience, every person becomes an experience in like a wave of joy.
Every person you meet, every collectivity you meet, every ashram you go to, it creates a beautiful wave in your heart of joy. My joy is silent, but when I meet somebody, then it shows itself up.
It comes up like a wave or sometimes as you see these drops from the ocean breaking on the shores, beautiful drops – we call them tushhaar, in Sanskrit language there’s a beautiful name for that, tushhaar – and then the waves go back to your heart. So beautifully is the relationship, and you just watch it as a witness and see the joy. Then everything melts away, all your knowledge so-called, all your pains, all your troubles, all your past, all your future, but you remain in the presence, in meditation, watching all this beautiful happening.
May God all of you understand. May God in all of you as Spirit emit that experience all the time to all of you. May God bless you.
This is the sari from Greece, and see that art of Greece expressed, beautiful.
Gregoire: It’s like the Aegean sea.
Shri Mataji: Eh?
Gregoire: The water is like the Aegean sea.
Shri Mataji: It’s beautiful. Like in the sea you have blue and emerald, both colors, the same way.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi