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Talk on Marriages
About this I have to tell you last time we had this Christmas Puja and everybody became so left sided you see, I think they were missing their champagne or something. So I think this time we’ll just have Ganesha Puja, because singing carols immediately you think of champagne I think I don’t know. So they were very left sided and – we have to enjoy, these are your relations these are your brothers, these are your sisters. So must learn to enjoy them, but if you start becoming left sided for those people who are not our relations anymore, then is going to be difficult.
Twenty-fifth is the Puja and twenty-eighth are the weddings, and twenty-ninth we all are leaving for Alibag. There’s one more thing I have to tell you all again, I may not be able to say this to you, that once you get married, you are not lost. You are still in Sahaja Yoga. No one consults us, they go so arbitrary in making passport visas this that’s that it’s bizarre sometimes, really bizarre, and some of the girls could not go. Specially England is very difficult, to England because of, this kind of an arbitrary behavior. So you all Indian girls, anyone should consult Yogi Mahajan because he’s in charge these days. If he comes in one piece. Everyday he is out with his file . Even if I’m going to the bathroom I come out I find him sitting with the file. So please consult him, he’s so concerned, and you do everything arbitrarily it’s very, very difficult to arrange later on. So please tell your wives or your husbands that the marriage has taken place but we still have to be completely in contact, with others, your leaders or leaders in India anyone, so that will be no problem of visas and things.
I’ll be rather busy in Kolapur buying things for you, and buying also silver. I have ordered something which I thought was important for all of you, is a big plate for your aartis because I’ve seen you don’t have big enough plates in every place I go to, so I’ve ordered that, and whatever money you have given Me for pujas I utilize here, for buying silver for you. And aboard I bought, as you know furniture thinking that it will be of some external existence. Moreover we have done lot of purchases of things, like, the land you saw in Sheri, the land on top of the hill and the land where you were pitched in, moreover I have to make a proper road, a shorter road to that place. Next year you’ll find everything ready for you.
Then we have to complete Vashi. It’s such a big place those who have seen know. Then there’s another very, big ashram we have built in Delhi which is about twenty four thousand square feet. Vashi is forty two thousand square feet. Then we have bought lots of land also in Ganapatipule where we hope to build huts for you. I’m sure they must have already done it, and very sensible good bathrooms. Now the demand has come that you like an Indian style of bathrooms. I did not know that you like Indian style. So I don’t know we have already purchased, commodes, but I don’t know why you want Indian style, still I don’t understand. But if so I mean if we can change we’ll try to change but we have already bought. Or we can try some other tricks to make it usable in an Indian way as well as in the western way.
You have very good bathrooms very good water supply now. We’ve been able to achieve a lot in these three years time. So one should understand that, your Tour money which is saved is also used as well as there are donations from Indians. Everything working together we have really done a job. I myself can’t understand how I’ve done it because it means billions and billions but I don’t know somehow I’ve managed. It has worked out. I think Hanumana must have done something.
Last but not the least, we have people like Marcus now, is gone off his head. I don’t know, he thinks now from his Sahasrara the light will be coming out or something. They go crazy. You see we had another one Hugo who said: ‘I’ve now become maha Mataji now.’ I think Marcus has become maha, maha Mataji or something.’ See it’s idiotic, it’s an idiotic thing. But too much of ego can make a person idiot, is said already. In the shastras is said: ‘Too much of ego can make a person an idiot.’ So all this kind of idiotic things they can say and talk. But there’s one thing which I have noticed and I’m quite worried, that anybody who makes ninda means says things against your Guru you should never hear. But I didn’t know it is so serious because there was this Hugo gentleman, who went and stayed with someone, and both husband and wife got cancer and I don’t know the wife is dead I know but husband I don’t know, how he is. Both of them got cancer, so be careful. If anybody like that wants to speaks you just put your hands on your ears: ‘We don’t want to hear the Guru ninda.
Because you know what you have got, and is the greatest ingratitude, to hear anything against your Guru, who has worked so hard. You know how much I have worked hard, and how much I faced, lots of problems even sometimes My family people get upset. They can’t understand at this age how can I work like this. So you must also realize within yourself, as Indians realize that all this joy, all this happiness, everything we have, but we should not somehow or other get disconnected by thinking, by analyzing, by saying something which is absurd.
Some people also are getting married. I must tell them they better decide now, because I’ve seen that so many of you start thinking after the marriage, which is very cruel, which is very indecent. So better to decide now. Actually those who do not want to marry should not give us their names, should not. Because you don’t know how much time we have to spend in sorting out these things to find out somebody for you. It’s such a waste of time. And when we fix it up, we do it then suddenly somebody comes up: ‘Ah I don’t want to get married.’ Surprising, they have no shame about it, they don’t understand. How much you have made Me work for that, how much I have gone through it and then suddenly you come and say: ‘No we don’t want to get married.’ Such people should not apply for marriage. Next time if somebody does that I’ll forbid that person to come to India, I must tell you. For days together you know we used to sleep at two o’clock three o’clock discussing whom to marry whom. Ah if you don’t like particular person I can understand, but you shouldn’t say I don’t want to marry. You don’t know yourself, you’re such an uncertain quantity, are you mad or crazy, what’s the matter?
So if you do not want to marry please decide before filling the forms. Is so difficult, you have no idea we have so many forms we have to sort it out. Is this My job? It doesn’t happen with Indians. Why can’t you be sensible enough to decide for yourself if you want to marry or not. Then if you don’t like anyone all right: ‘I don’t like some person.’ It’s all right, but just to say: ‘I don’t want to marry,’ is I think is a sign of idiocity absolutely an idiot can do that, without understanding how much one has to exert. There’s no place for idiots in Sahaja Yoga.
So this is another thing which sometimes surprises Me very much. But if you do not want to marry please tell Me that I don’t want to marry a particular person, before we reach Ganapatipule. At the last minute, when the bride is getting ready suddenly somebody will come: ‘I don’t want to marry.’ You start looking at him, is he a monkey or a human being? Can’t understand them. I mean if you don’t want to marry, don’t marry, but at the last minute when they are there to worship their, boys coming in, suddenly you hear when they are doing all the aarti: ‘No no no no no no I don’t want to marry this girl.’ One gentleman who heard this, he was so angry he said: ‘I thought of hitting him on his head with this aarti.’ Instead of doing his aarti. But it’s not just a play, a game, marriage is serious thing.
Stupid people should never get married. They make a mess of themselves and others also. It’s meant for very sensible, dignified, intelligent people. So you need not marry. It’s much better if less people marry, less expense to Me. And otherwise I have to shell out lot of money. So please be sensible. Those who do not want to marry should decide accordingly, beforehand, then once you fill in the form you should, if you do not want to marry a particular person you can tell that: ‘I don’t want to marry.’ We’ll see if we can get somebody else, if not forget it. You are not paying Me anything for doing all these nonsensical work. If it is sensible, then you must show results, though I must say so many marriages have been so successful, so beautiful, such nice things have happened, and we have such beautiful children.
This is another western madness, that you fall in love. I mean I just don’t understand, is just a concept, again I must tell you very very frankly because if you fall in love, then why do you divorce so many times? That is infatuation, that you feel for someone and next moment you are out for divorce. Isn’t it. So, you see, you have to know whom you would like to marry. In any case Australians are very much acceptable. Please, you see people love Australians in India, so be happy about it. I told them to keep Australians for Indians but I don’t know why they mixed it up, it’s Yogi.
So I mean I will be very happy if you tell Me what is your concept of a husband. Is better otherwise you know, I just don’t know. From your height, from your education from whatever you are, we judge. But what is your concept, isn’t it? You give Me the idea as to what is your concept, is better for Me – guideline you see. I don’t understand that. So if you can give Me the concept, the kind of a husband you want and if you have somebody in Sahaja Yoga we’ll find it. But whatever I thought was the best suited for you, is him. Anne. But for him I don’t know if you were really best suited.
So this is infatuation should not be. I mean you get infatuated, then it collapses very soon. You get impressed for something, after sometime it collapses. But it should be a well-guided, wise decision. It should not be just you feel for someone. It’s very wrong. You should judge a person according to what you are, and that, on vibrations, mainly. Because you have to live with the vibrations of the person, in Sahaja Yoga. That’s very important. So, this kind of thing falling for someone and this and that is very temporary, you do not know. that’s why the marriages in the west, are fizzling out so fast. This Elizabeth Taylor which, I must say a brave lady. Till she dies I think she’ll have more husbands. I mean it’s like shopping.
So there I agree that you have a certain idea some concept all right but give Me some concrete concept, and it will help Me, quite a lot I tell you really because I don’t have, that kind of a, understanding. I’m bad at all these things I should say in some ways. I never get infatuated by anyone, never, what appeals to Me are the vibrations. I don’t see, what is so, important for a Sahaja Yogi: ‘Don’t you think vibrations are the most important things for you? You agree with Me there?’ So it’s all right, whatever you think you let Me know your concept we’ll see, all right. I do not want to say anything to hurt you in anyway but the gentleman has been hurt for nothing at all.
Shri Mataji: ‘What she says?’
Yogi: She says it’s too much for her too fast.’
Shri Mataji: To what?
Yogi: To marry Now and…
Shri Mataji: Why did you apply Madam? It was application you sent, and it was this year not after ten years. The marriage was to be this year So why did you apply? Why, why did you?
Yogi: Only now she realizes she’s not ready.
Shri Mataji: Very nicely. You better pay Me now. I had to work it out for you. No it’s not easy to find a boy for you. You want Me to dance at your commands and changes. Do you, want that, to trouble Me like that? Isn’t it a trouble to Me, don’t you think of Me at all? It’s a game, it’s a cruel game you people are playing that’s all. Yes, yes what? Tomorrow you don’t eat your food the whole day, it will be better for you.
It’s not, you see these people have no sense how much I have to work hard for them to find out a boy, according to the age height aptitudes, this that, study all that, and then suddenly they say: ‘I’m not ready.’ This I can’t understand really. You must have some consideration for Me also sometimes, please. Show some consideration, not all the time try to exact, things like this, you are Sahaja Yogis. I’ve given you Realization. I don’t want anything from you but don’t torture Me like this all the time. All such people who behave like this are out of marriage list. I will not have their marriages arranged again, I tell you. I’m not going to go through this kind of a nonsense. Sometimes I must also put down My foot. I’m sixty-eight years of age and how much we have to work. If she doesn’t like a particular person is all right, but you must have some concrete reason why you don’t like. So take it little seriously, every one of you should take it very seriously.
As it is no-one wants to marry French girls I tell you. It’s very difficult to marry French girls. I have to tell you very frankly because French girls, their brains are like this, I really tell you. If Antonio is here he’ll know. It’s very difficult to marry them. Extremely difficult. And also to marry Indian girls to French men is extremely difficult. Antonio will agree. All the French boys are left out. Not that, that they are like that, but I have to request you, that these girls are going all the way from India, you have to behave yourself, you have to treat them well. Nowhere they are treated badly. So I am going to talk to all the French boys, because they are very young and they have to marry Indian girls only, because they are very young. But the French girls I don’t know why always, with French girls everybody’s frightened. Because this kind of a thing happens. This is only ego, which is stupid. If you were not ready you should not have applied. You understand that? It’s a mistake, on your part. You should not have applied. ‘Now anybody else like that?’
Where is Annie? Now what’s the matter with you? You are in Iran and you want to get out of that place. That’s what your mother told Me. You are in such a position that you have to get out of it. Now do you know you cannot marry an Englishman, they will not have there an Irani. You cannot marry a Frenchman because they will not have you there. No country will accept you because you’re from Iran. You want to get out of Iran, that is the reason I thought it would be best to marry you to an Italian that Italians may agree to take you. And he’s much more handsome than you are. I must tell you, to be very frank. But this was, Guido’s mistake. I Myself felt that he’s too good a boy for you; very well educated, he’s handsome boy. So you go back to Iran now. I thought you have come with all these difficulties just to get married so you get out of Iran. I just don’t understand. Once you go back to Iran how will you come out of it?
This is an example. A person who wants to get out of the country wants to get married this is the only country, or India maybe, Iranians aren’t allowed. In England Nick can say: ‘Will they accept an Irani girl?’ Even Austria, even Germany, I’m sure they won’t accept an Iranian girl, won’t give the visa. I’m not sure about Italy also. I don’t know because they’re all afraid of Iranians, and they think they are all Khomeini’s daughters, so it’s a problem. But still despite all that, just to say no is a game. I’m surprised because I had greater hopes from Annie. I thought you were a wise girl but you seem to be very right sided. For no rhyme and reason just to say no is wrong. Must understand that all these points I considered. I came to the point that you should be married to, a person where you could go and, come out of Iran, this was My idea. Such a thought was given, and suddenly you say: ‘No.’ For what, for why? If you start thinking about it, immediately your vibrations will stop, everything will stop. If Mother has selected, at least you must know that there must be some reason why Mother has selected. Why don’t you think like that, instead of thinking something else? There must be some reason.
Her mother is so much worried about her. I don’t know you’ll have to go back to Iran and I don’t know if you can come out. I don’t know if in India they allow, people to come even I don’t know what it is. It’s all right this marriage is cancelled. [Indian boy’s name] a very good boy, he’s an excellent boy we can find him a very good wife. Is there any other mishap? Good. Someone there? No one. All right. So may God Bless you.
I’m sorry I have to do all this because I don’t want to do all these things in the presence of Delhi people. For Peter it’s mutual, she doesn’t want also he doesn’t want to marry it’s all right without asking her we had picked the man. It’s all right, that’s all right. So may God Bless you.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi