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Farewell Talk. Sydney (Australia), 19 April 1991.
Now because there’ll be so many Sahaja yogis here and it will work out, not only for Sydney, but other places, like New Castle was a surprise. You’ve seen New Castle how it worked out. You have to go to other, smaller places which are around.
So, we have to know that Sydney people who are now coming to Sahaja Yoga and we have to strengthen ourselves by meditating also and also by spreading Sahaja Yoga across.
But more if you start paying attention more to the defects here and the defects there, then you’ll never grow. What you have to see is defects within yourself, and it will definitely grow very well. The best way is to grow yourself and become something that we can say is a solid Sahaja yogi. That’s much more important, I would say, for all of you.
You can always write to Me. And I always take heed of that, and I work out many things even before you have written to Me. So, there’s no need to be frightened of someone, or to be afraid of someone. You can always tell that person what you think. And nobody will now throw away anyone from Sahaja Yoga without asking Me. It’s a law.
Nobody is going to be thrown out. But, of course, always I’ll have your photographs with Me. And I know you very well. There’s nothing to be told. But when I am busy with other people, you should know that Mother has given such a responsibility on us, we have to grow and let everyone grow. And gradually, I’m sure, everything will be all right.
And so far we have had mishaps, not so much because of leaders but because of you people, because you should have told Me and you should have informed Me. Also, I know we are very capable people here, but still people don’t meditate. That’s why I find they are catching. Once you have got your realization, you should know what should be the attitude towards yourself. Now we have a Sahaja culture as you know, and we have to come into that Sahaja culture. And when we “¦
Ah! Hey, what are you doing? Bad. No. Ah ah. At this age they pick up these things here, so what do you say of children?
Whose child is this? Just take him. You must correct, yourself. At this age you must correct . Maybe later on no, but at this age you must correct. You see if they hit, then you hit them on their hands. Hit where their legs. Hit them there so they are all right.
Now come along, now what’s your name? Hallo? What’s your name? Such a Right Agnya. Very bright Agnya he has, and also see his eyes are showing the reason.
Gradually everything will be all right. You have to be grown in Sahaj culture. And also the women have to grow in Sahaj culture; men have to grow in Sahaj culture. And the women have to grow in a Sahaj culture is this, that you should not answer back your husbands at all. That’s not the way you can conquer him.
They do not understand how they can conquer their husbands.
That’s the main point. Not by answering them back. Not by torturing them, but by bearing up whatever they are saying. And explosiveness of women is absolutely wrong. That puts them off. They come from outside; they are very tired. And they are themselves in explosive condition. And then you suddenly do something to them and they start being explosive. You see?
So women, if they cannot run their husbands and family, all right. Then I think it is their responsibility. So the responsibility is much more on women than on men as far as the culture is concerned.
Now, what is the matter? Sit down. Sit down here. Come along. Sit down. Sit down. Be a nice boy. Otherwise — Now, sit. Nice boy, all right?
And when you want to say something, don’t show anger, but determination. You see. Just sit down with them. Then they know what you mean.
So one side of the thing is of establishing the Sahaj culture among ourselves and being kind to them. In the family, to create peace. That’s the job of a woman.
You see how that man was trying to provoke Me. But I wriggled out of all his provocations, bBecause I’m a woman. Any other man would have slapped him twice I tell you.
In My place, any one of them. Krishna must have used His Sudarshan. And Christ must have hit him with His cross, you see. They cannot bear, you see. They don’t have so much bearing power. And they cannot wriggle out, you see. But we can. So that is the quality one has to learn: how to wriggle out of this.
Then the men have the work to go out, earn. Women also, it doesn’t matter. But you must share with them, have companionship with them. Enjoy your companionship. After all, you see, the romance starts actually after marriage, not before marriage. I was surprised that there’s no book which describes the romance after marriage in English language. I asked so many people to find out if there’s a book that describes romance after marriage. They said, “No book.” But in Indian books, Indian languages, we don’t have any romance much described before the marriage but always after the marriage.
So I didn’t understand what was this thing was. After marriage, the romance finishes. Not in Sahaj culture “¦
Hallo. Now, come along. Ask him to “¦ take him out “¦ Put him in there in the room. He’ll be all right. No, you can’t sit here. Come along. Tell him. Now he’ll be all right. If you beat, you cannot sit here. Now you take him. No, you take him out. Take him out and put him in the room. He will be all right. Now, why did you beat?
And the men have to know that they have to respect their women. In the presence of their children specially, they must really respect. If you’re angry you can do what you like in the bedrooms. In the presence of your children you should behave yourself. And this is one of the reasons why the children in the West are not at all obedient. No sense of respect.
So the respect that husband pays to the wife is absolutely important. For example, now supposing I’m sitting here and my husband is sitting here and I want a glass of water. If I try to get up he’ll ask the children, “Go and get it for your mother.”
If they say, “All right, daddy, should we put some oil in your head?”
“First put in your mother’s head.”
“Can we go out?”
“Ask her. What does she say.”
So put all the authority towards her. This is the job of men. You see, then only the love grows. Moreover, if wife is sick, she needs your protection. You must go all out to be gentle, very gentle with them. If the husband is gentle with the wife, the children will be very gentle, too. How you gently hug your wife. How you talk to her, how you express yourself to her. It’s all very, very important. And care for her — to make her most important.
You see, if she’s sitting uncomfortable, “Should I make something comfortable for you?” Then if you are decorating, “Aha, this year Mommy will like very much, isn’t she.” All such things suggest how much the husband cares for the wife.
Or sometimes bring some present for her, in the presence of children you should give, so that they also have that respect for the mother. Gentleness is missing, completely. We are very harsh sometimes. We are volcanic. And I don’t know how people can stand volcanic women and volcanic men. So to be very gentle is the best way to live together. And to care for each other is very important. Then you start missing each other, don’t dominate each other. On the contrary if the wife is going towards, then the husband would rush, say, “No, no, no, no, no, let me go.”
Gradually they develop these qualities in them. Not by fighting, not by quarreling, arguing. Gradually they will develop these habits. And you’ll be very happy to be in love with each other.
I am only worried about our family system in Sahaja Yoga. It’s very important, extremely important. If the family is not all right, how are we going to keep all of you together? And I want the whole world to be together. How can we get the whole world together if you cannot have one family all together? But in no way it means that you become a slave to your husband or a slave to your wife as far as Sahaja Yoga is concerned. Sahaja Yoga is above everything. If husband tries to do something against Sahaja Yog, you should stand against it. If the wife wants to do something against Sahaja Yoga, you stand up. Nothing else. Because this is something precious you have got and you have to live with it, and you have to enjoy it.
It is very difficult for people to understand that Sahaj culture is the only culture in which people can live happily together. There is no other way out. We start from the very primitive to the most modern. We have imbibed lots of things of the Indian culture as well as lots of things from the Western culture.
For example, we allow divorce. Not at the slightest thing. It’s not a very good thing to divorce also, but in case everything fails and everything is so horrid and by law you feel horrible with your standing, then I say, “All right. You can have this, you can have the divorce.” So we could have a little compromise on that point. But we have the least divorces in Sahaja Yoga. Say in a church if there are ten marriages per year —I don’t know if they even have so many, but even if they had, nobody goes to the church — out of them, nine of them are failures, first year only. Compared to that, we are much better off. We have some problems, in the beginning sometimes it happens, but on the whole we are much better off than all other people.
Now it’s for you to decide whether you want to enjoy your wife or your husband or not. If you have everything and you do not know how to enjoy, then what to do? So all this anger, all this temper should go away. You should introspect also, ” What am I doing? What am I expecting? What am I doing to the other party? Why can’t I enjoy?”
Just ask this question: “Why can I not enjoy my wife or my husband?” Just ask this question and you’ll realize the problem is more with you than the other party.
So our family system has to be absolutely ideal. And we have to prove to the world that those who are getting married in Sahaja Yoga are the ideal husband and wife; or those who are Sahaj yogis, even if they are married outside but they become Sahaja yogis, they become ideal husband and wife. The relationship between them are the best, and for that, whatever is necessary you should do; whatever has to be done, you should do. No sacrifice, no adjustment. It’s just our idea. Just our idea.
So this is My last advice to you, that have beautiful families, pure families and love all the children as your own children. It will work out much better. Nobody should object if some child is corrected. Never. If somebody corrects your child, you should be thankful to that person that they have corrected your child. And then children are frightened of the collective because they think all the collective are together if they are not misbehaving. You see, if you start supporting on your own child, then the child becomes, you see, quite clever. It knows that “Nobody can say anything to me,” but the whole collective — if just now the child has gone there, you see, they all have felt it. Because all of us have decided. They’ll all behave. But if somebody had supported that child, then the children wouldn’t.
So all of us should support all the children, and if some child is wrong, then we all should say, “All right, you’re wrong.”
Because all of them are your children. Take it like that. They are collective children. You have to look after them; you have to bother about them; you have to help them. Everything has to be done on a collective basis. But supposing one child is bad, then all of us, all of us, should tell that child that “You’re bad.” Then he improves. Also we have to tell them, “You are Sahaja yogis, you can’t do like that. You are Sahaja yogis; you’re great. You can’t do like this.” And that will work also, very well.
Also other relations we have outside who are not Sahaja yogis, just see if they are nice people. You need not be rude to them, need not cut out from them. But if they are rude and if they are against Sahaja Yoga, then it’s better not go near them. Better not.
So you should just try to make a point in your life that you are going to show Mother that we are very happily married people. And that’s what it is I want to see among you. Now we are a very big family all over the world and as you are Ganesha’s patrons here, it’s also important that the family should be the best in Australia. “˜Cause Ganesha is the product of a very beautiful family. I hope you’ll all understand this. Seriously take it up, and work it out and practice it.
I’m told that people get angry if somebody corrects their children. Is very wrong. Never. Feel detached about it. You shouldn’t spoil your children. And we have had a very bad experience with these children when they came to India. And we thought from which land they have arrived.
My tour has been very successful thanks to you all. You have worked very hard, I must say, very hard. Next time I’m told I’ll have no radio, television, nothing of the kind. Just a waste of time with them. We’ll just have all posters which are very good because they emit vibrations by which people feel much better. We’ll have also beautiful — what you call them? Banners. Banners. And wherever is possible, you can put it. And it is My name there; when the wind blows also, the vibrations are emitted. Also you could go into the newspapers. That’s all right. But no more of this radio or these things.
The other day I asked some people, “Did you hear the radio?” Nobody has known if there was a press card. So we are wasting our time with this radio and television absolutely, we are not going to have anything to do with it.
All those who are coming to India, they should try to book as early as possible, and let Me know when they are coming; they are all welcome. This time we are changing our plans. We are going via Madras. I want you to see the south. So we’ll be traveling not by those horrible buses, but by the train, by the train this time. Up to Ganapatipule we cannot go by train as you know, but up to Kolapur. And from Kolapur to Ganapatipule is not such a long distance. The road is quite nice.
This time we are going to very different places like Madras, Bhairov, Hyderabad, then Puna, and then to Ganapatipule. I hope you’ll all enjoy your stay this time again in India. And lots of people will be coming again. We are really having a great success everywhere. I’m sure this time we’ll have many more people.
If you have money problem, you can write to Me also. We can make some arrangements for that. But, you see, we cannot reduce now any more. We have kept the same price throughout because we have to pay for the Russians, for all these Eastern Bloc people, their food, their living. We have to lend them money. There are absolutely, say, about a hundred people coming without a single pai on them. They’re traveling; so, sorry, but we have to compensate for it. I know it pressurizes everyone. But we have to compensate.
And other nations are at least paying for their travels.
I can’t pay for their travel. That’s a hundred people traveling. So, as far as Australia is concerned, you don’t have to share that part.
So, may God bless you!
Sahaja yogi: Shri Mother. We would like to give You a little memento of Your tour. It is something that has been with You for some time. Each time you had a public program or even at the puja it was there. It was made by Sahaj yogis, a whole series of them, even some children participated in it, into this screen.
Shri Mataji: Oh, My! Thank you so much. It’s so beautiful. You know, today only I was just thinking what a nice thing it is. I shouldn’t desire anything, I think.
Now, very beautiful. Very, very beautiful. It gives so many ideas of colors and things. You have so much of talent here I must say. But you’ll have to bring it with you.
Sahaja yogi: We could dismantle it, You know that? and just bring You the silk screen.
Shri Mataji: Thank you, Alex.
Sahaja yogi: Shri Mother, from all your children in Australia, we thank you in our hearts for coming and giving us such a wonderful tour.
Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. Ki Jay!
Shri Mataji: And any disease or anything you have, any problem, you have to tell Steven, or you can tell Me, or inform Dr. Spiro, or someone, whomsoever you want to. Any disease. Don’t be shy about it. And I’ll tell you how to treat it. I mean, normally it is only on the vibrations you have to say left, right, what is the problem is, but there are certain things which require more attention “¦
(part of a bhajan plays)
“¦ only Mrs. Thatcher. Tell Me what is to be done about the bum. I must say, that’s the only point where I agreed with her.
Sahaja yogi: Yes, Mother.
Shri Mataji: Otherwise, you know, she is a very simple woman, otherwise. What happened, that I was to go to a party to her place for a luncheon here, and it was a Monday or something and a holiday. It was a holiday and all My ornaments were in the bank, you see. But My daughter had asked Me to buy some artificial ornaments. So I said, “Now what to do? I have nothing to wear.” See she doesn’t like Me to go just like this. So I said, “All right.”
So I bought one of these artificial diamonds. Quite big, big ones. Absolutely artificial. So I went to the lunch. It was in the area. She saw me. She just started looking at the diamonds. And she came and talked to Me again and again. And then ultimately she asked Me, “Is this from Your family?”
I did not tell her, I said, “Yes.” But I was wondering, “Look at this woman. She doesn’t even know this is artificial.”
But apart from that, you see, even if I am wearing anything, what does it matter, I’m not going to give it to her in any way.
But the way her eyes, you know, just opened up. I was amazed at her. And then she became very friendly with Me and she was following Me, neglecting everyone. And in the next lunch party, she made Me sit with her. She asked lots of things about India and “how You manage Your family” and this and that.
Very surprising. That artificial diamond stuff. I told My daughter about it and she just laughed.
But in England people are quite conscious of ornaments, very conscious. Maybe here also, I don’t know.
Sahaja yogi: Not so much. In England, they’re very concerned with status.
Shri Mataji: Status. Like one day, she wore a, I had an old necklace of Mine with real pearls, you see. They know what is real pearls are, I don’t know how. And she went to the market, she went to the shop and she came back. She said, “Now take your madam necklace.”
I said, “Now what is this “˜madam?'”
She said, “Mommy, whichever shop I went, they called me madam.”
At first I didn’t know what was, how I become madam now, then I realized it was the pearls.
I have lots of such things with Me because of the family. So I was wearing one ring, it’s a big emerald. Very big emerald it is, such a big one, from the family. I don’t know how many in India would look at this ..
(Break in recording)
Sahaja yogi: There’s a story, Mother, of King Charles I, when he was riding through Scotland and he came across a man belonging to a very small Christian group who didn’t approve of kings. And his lieutenants — they were all on horses and this man was on foot — and his lieutenants said, “Will you not take your hat off before the King, sir?’
And the Scotsman, who was very independent, said, “No, actually, I won’t.”
So the king said, “Then sir, I will take my hat off to you.” So he took his hat off.
He was a gracious man, apparently. Actually it was King Charles II.
Another Sahaja yogi: He must have been the same man who was going up the stairs, wasn’t he?
Shri Mataji: You see, it’s all right. I mean, supposing it’s your country, it’s all right. But we are from another country. We are not even in the Commonwealth. So why make everyone bow to her? Actually, Americans would have said, “Hi.”
Rosie, are you going to America now?
Sahaja yogini: Yes, Mother.
Shri Mataji: When?
Sahaja yogini: I’m not sure when.
Shri Mataji: I see.
Are you all right? When are you going?
Sahaja yogi: I leave in one week and then a few weeks after that. Somewhere between one month and then three months.
Shri Mataji: I see. So where will you be?
Sahaja yogi: Seattle. If that’s okay.
Shri Mataji: Very good.
And when do you love Me?
Sahaja yogini: All the time.
Shri Mataji: Very sweet. She’s a poetess.
Ganesha is standing in attention for you. Really. It’s beautiful.
Thank you. Ask them to keep it carefully somewhere. They will do it. There. Give it to King. I’m very happy now.
So, you are enjoying yourself?
Sahaja yogi: Very much, Shri Mataji. Very, very much.
Rosie looks so nice.
That Phillip is such a pitiful — he’s doing all kinds of things in France. He’s going on the streets and shouting, “I’m the incarnation, and this and that.” And big problems. I said, “Let him shout, he’s going to lunatic asylum.”
Lots of lunatics are there.
Sahaja yogini: There are.
Shri Mataji: They’re on the streets.
Sahaja yogini: I’ve seen them.
Shri Mataji: They are not in the lunatic asylum but on the streets and they go within the buses and things. And talking all kinds of things, you know. Horrible. And I told Marie, “What is this nonsense, they put all of them on the streets and they’re walking into every bus.” So she told Me that “Mother, you see, the French are very considerate, and we try to help them.”
I said, “What? You’re helping them and ruining everybody else. This is a stupid help that you are giving them. Better put them in some lunatic asylum.”
French are coming up now, getting better.
Sahaja yogini: They seem much happier. When I saw the people that I knew there, they seemed very joyful.
Shri Mataji: Better now. They must change.
You see, in that country, if you are miserable, then you are very knowledgeable. You have to be extremely unhappy, all the time. If you are not miserable, then you are an ignoramus. Can you imagine? Les miserable.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi