Advice, Picnic

Richmond Park, Surrey (England)

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Advice at yogis. Richmond Park, Surrey (UK), 25 June 1995.

In the nature one goes absolutely thoughtless. For me it is such a pleasure to meet you all here under the trees. There is a beautiful atmosphere created by these trees. How much they work hard for us – think about that. All is built-in, in them, built in to produce this chlorophyll, this greenery. All that is built in, in them. But see how collective they are. You have to learn a lot from them. Every leaf is allowed to get the sun, every leaf. How they grow, how they are organized, how they behave like this, nobody thinks even – and what is it working it out in them? They haven’t got realization, but how do they work it out in such a beautiful manner? Because they are under the complete control of the Divine – absolutely, they don’t have to worry. Even the animals are, that’s why they are called as Pashu, means they are under the complete Pash. Pash is the complete control of the Divine and Shiva is called as Pashupati, he’s the one who looks after all this. Affectionately and in a very delicate manner. All this is created for human beings. These human beings don’t understand that all this world, which is created, is for the use of human beings, not for abuse – but use.

And this is one thing which has to be really felt in this atmosphere, that how they are collective. They have no problem, how they live together creating a good atmosphere for us. How they keep to the cycle – it’s a global cycle. First, for example, we can see that the sap rises, then it gives whatever is needed for every part of the tree. Then whatever is left over it can go into the atmosphere or it can go down. So it does not get stuck into one place. This I’ve told you a long time back that, you should not get stuck into anything. If you are detached then everything works out, very well. But if you are attached, you just get worries and problems, thinking too much about it – your life becomes miserable. But if you are detached, then the nature takes over and it has taken over for these and you feel extremely relaxed then, absolutely relaxed. But when you are thinking, we have to do this, we have to do that, we have to achieve this and you start worrying. So two things can happen. One is, you will get confused – you’ll not achieve any results, one thing – and you’ll go on thinking, thinking, thinking. And the second thing that will happen is that you will exhaust yourself completely. But if you are detached, then as Sahaja Yogis, you will be amazed how things work out. After getting your realization you should try to detach yourself, by getting into thoughtless awareness. Just detach.

Now see our attachments, after so many things. This detachment you can just practice, that, you can see yourself in the mirror and know that you are not this reflection that you see but you are much more than what this reflection is. And what is that within us which looks after everything, even before realization, which looks after the parasympathetic nervous system. Little, little things you know, it looks after. It tries to keep us on the right path and gives us a conscience. What is that? What is within us that does that? The spirit has not yet come into our attention, but there is something within us, which makes you, think about the truth, to seek the truth, to know that there is something wrong in the society. What is that within us? Can you tell me? God has not left you without his care. There is something that looks after us. Kundalini is sleeping, then it is in our hearts. What do these have to feel within them? It is the Soul, it is a Soul, which lines our spinal column.

Sometimes when people die, or are about to die and they come back to life they always say they passed through some sort of a tunnel, somehow a black tunnel, somehow a bright tunnel, somehow a light tunnel, and all that. This is what is the soul, which is within us, which starts going up and with that our attention goes and we feel we are passing through a tunnel. Alright? These Souls you can see now in the sky, all hanging. With seven loops you can see them. Only after realization, not before that. So this Soul guides you. This Soul has brought you to Sahaja Yoga. This Soul has told you that you have to seek the truth and you have to get to the truth. This is also the, I should say, the pursuit, perseverance or the way this Soul gets out to you. You have to seek. Some people really get so restless about it. All this comes from Soul before realization and this Soul starts working. This kind of a search that you have had.

When a person dies, then his Soul comes out and his Spirit also guides him. So we call it a dead Soul, like that. They hang in the air, sometimes, sometimes when they are realized Souls they need not. They become one with the Divine, and whenever they want they can always be born again. But these Souls who are still attached to something, maybe the children, maybe the house, maybe the drinking habits, maybe something nonsensical, still hang around and they are the ones who trouble us, who bother us too much. They can be in groups, they can be many of different types, they could be with a very bad subconscious activity or could be with the superconscious also. But about this we cannot talk to anybody else, because they don’t know, they don’t want to believe that there is something like that. They believe in a religion, which says that there are dead Souls, and there are bad spirits but that’s only in the Church or in the Mosque or in the Temples. But in private life they don’t believe that we have all those things hanging around.
Now some difficulties that you face which cannot be solved could be coming from these dead Souls. So the best way to get rid of them is to develop a detached attitude towards life. Now somebody is very much attached, say to a house, or to a building or to something like that. So what happens these Souls who are trying to find out somebody through whom they can satisfy their wishes, enter into you, enter into your mind and then everything goes wrong. You cannot do well, you cannot achieve anything, you feel horrible. Especially with false gurus, you get this curse upon yourself. All these things have to be corrected through detachment to things. What are you attached to? Some people are very much attached say, to their children. Then the children will be attacked by these Souls. If you are too much attached say, to your money, then something will happen and you will loose the money. We have known so many people who were multi-millionaires, but the greed was still there. So the spirit, or whatever, entered into them, started telling them “invest here, invest there, invest here” and no money was left. Especially the western business is like that. It goes on telling you “now you invest there” then you invest there and nothing is left with you but loans and debts and that is how you get into trouble. So one has to be very detached about everything.

You know the story of my getting into business of terracotta. It so happened that, you see, some of these big Johnnies from Delhi, who are retired, thought they must still serve their country by having export. But they cannot carry on with each other with their bureaucratic nonsense. Everybody thinks that they are the best. So they fought and the whole firm broke up completely. But still my husband said we will have our own, and so many of them had their own, I don’t know what they are selling. So, I asked him “what will you export” he said “fans”, I said “Fans to where, to Switzerland? – exporting fans?. Like that, he told me various things, which are all to be imported, not to be exported. So he said, “What will you export?” I said “I’ll export terracotta”, he said “what, it’s clay!, that’s clay! – “that’s what I’m going to do.” But, I don’t know banking, I don’t know anything about business, nothing, I’m so detached about it. I don’t know what it is like to do business. So that headache I don’t have, but terracotta is selling very well everywhere because I know that now people want hand made things and they love it and it is doing well. And then I’m helping some people in a far-fetched village, or villages, who have only one cloth to cover their body, one cloth. So it helps by also charitable nature. Also a global need today that people should use hand made things. It is working out very well, you would be amazed. It is working so well. I don’t understand anything of business, but it is alright. I don’t have to know anything about it, it’s just working out.

So, the detachment that I have about it…like somebody said, I gave so much money to Shri Mataji, so Mr. Shrivastava asked “who counted? She doesn’t know how to count!”. Really I don’t know how. If I have to count thousand, I count two thousand. I don’t know what happens to me. Otherwise I’m good at mathematics. But when it comes to counting, my fingers just go on slipping. I don’t know. I don’t know how much money I have in the bank. Never: It’s terrible with me. I don’t know how to count money, I don’t know banking, I don’t know how much money, what is the return, how much I have put in, nothing. I’m buying things whatever I think are good, hand made nice things and they are selling, I don’t know if they are selling for the same price or a more price, I don’t care. I have taken no headache upon myself. No headache of any kind.

It is such a pleasure to see these poor people making something so nice. It’s such a pleasure. Everywhere. In Russia they make such beautiful things, Bulgaria, Turkey. Turkey is another great country, I must say. They are so capable, they make the best terracotta. Better than even the Indians, in a way. You can cook in them food, you can wash it, you can do what you like. Such capable people are there. But in these modern times you see, they are not successful, they have to have computer, you have to have competition, you have to do this.

So if you develop a detachment, through thoughtless awareness, God will take over, he will do your work. He will look after you. You should have faith in God that is the main thing which people don’t understand what it means to have faith in God. That He is almighty, He does everything, He looks after everything, why should we worry? This is a very good way of life, is not to worry. You have gone beyond now, you have gone beyond time, you have gone beyond all the three Gunas, you have gone also beyond thought. So, whatever you have been through, your thought waves and through your mind, you can stop it. In America I gave realization to one girl, she had a shop. So she told me one thing, Mother I knew all about my things I had, I had a complete list with me, I knew this way, I knew this way, all that I had, clearly – now I don’t care. I don’t know what I have in my shop. “What is the result – I am making big profits”, she said. I said “that’s the best thing that you are making big profits, after all what is the use of carrying all the load on your head and making no profits.”

So one should be prepared to surrender completely, absolutely to the will of God. Whatever he does is for our good. Say, for example, yesterday in the programme, I didn’t want people to have rain, that’s all, I didn’t say anything to anyone, it just worked out that it was cloudy so nobody came to this park. Nobody came out for a holiday, nothing, they were all jolly well there. Otherwise imagine how could I have worked out this Sahaja Yoga, in the west especially. It is an impossible situation but it has worked and it is growing and people are enjoying it. But it was not any kind of a, what should I say, a deliberation, a worry, nothing of the kind. It all worked out and it is there, you can see it very well.

In the same way you also should not worry about anything whatsoever, any worry comes you just say “shut up”, any worry comes up just say “no”. Don’t worry. See there are mothers who worry about their children, I get such thick letters you know. Such thick letters I have no time to read, I don’t know. Ultimately the whole thing you read is about their children. Before Sahaja Yoga perhaps they were not so much attached to their children, perhaps. But now after this they are glued down.

Then there are worries about husband and wife, which is very common nowadays. There’s a husband and wife they say they would go to Ganapatipule and there they get into the mood of marrying. And as soon as they come out of Ganapatipule they don’t want to marry. So what is this? I have known many kinds of mad, but this kind I have never known. It is very difficult. There they are so enthusiastic with this thing, they apply, they give you a big list of people, four hundred applications and then they suddenly declare now we don’t want to marry! But if it is mutual it is better but one will say I don’t want to marry. Some English girls have misbehaved very much. So much so that now the names of English girls is cancelled, they are like black-listed. We don’t want to have any more English girls.

Surprisingly, how can they be like that? You had such great writers as women, I have read them. You have had so many people like even Shakespeare, always praised women. I can’t understand why should you make this kind of a mistake. If you don’t want to marry, alright don’t marry. Then if you want to marry then at least know what is your responsibility as Sahaja Yogis. Complications after complications. I’m not saying only from England but more from England.

I have told you before also that this should not be done. There are girls who are not married for say 34 years, 50 years – still we find boys, I mean some older people for them also. And then after that suddenly you find they say no, we don’t want to have this man we want to have another one.

English men are very good husbands, no doubt, but they are like cabbages sometimes. That part I don’t like. Sometimes they are really cabbages.

So, one should understand that as a husband you have to get things corrected. And as a wife you are a part of the society, which you have to not only, create but also to preserve and to advance – is the duty of women. They don’t know what their duties are, and it’s not their duty to work like secretaries or some sort of politicians. What their main duty is to become a very active member of their society. Of course we have some very great ladies, I shouldn’t say that, it’s not that we don’t have, but some of them are exceptionally funny, they don’t realize that marriage is not meant just for a kind of a shopping centre. It is a mission . It is very sweet to be a wife and to be a mother. But they lack sweetness for small small things if you are going to fight, alright then you had better not marry in Sahaja Yoga because you tarnish the name of Sahaja Yoga, which has given you realization. So you must know how to manage your marriages, and to do some justice.

Of course in Sahaja Yoga we have divorce. We allow people to divorce if they want, because it is a question of freedom. You can divorce anyone you like but it is better to make your marriage successful if you want to help Sahaja Yoga.

Another problem, which always crops up sometimes, which is very dangerous. Like somebody has the habit of forming a group against the leader. We have had recently a very bad case from America. Wherever she went she formed a group against the leader. And was creating such a problem, so I told her “now you go back to India now, we have had enough of you.” She wouldn’t go. She went to commit suicide. Two miles she ran up to the River Hudson. She didn’t jump of course, she didn’t jump. And nobody threw her in also. But she was threatening I’m going to commit suicide and she took some panadol or something, with that you don’t die, must have been some aspirin, must be something like that, but she didn’t die. I don’t know if she took it also. So all this tantrumism, you are going against yourself. What is the use. When I told her you go back to India, now we don’t want you here, she did all this…she said “I will not go, I’ll do this, I’ll do that.” Her father got such a big heart attack – she had to go – next day. I didn’t do that. I would hate to do such a thing. So she had to go. I said, “let her jump into the Hudson River and finished”.

So this kind of tantrum nature of women is very bad. You are deceiving yourself, you are Sahaja Yogis, you should know how to absorb the problems, you can. You can pacify, you can cool them down. You can do everything, you have the power. Women should understand their own powers, it is very important. Because they don’t know what powers they have. I am a woman myself and if the women start behaving like this, it’s very difficult. Also some men have this habit that they start forming a group.

The third type some of them who maybe leaders or maybe something, maybe leader’s wives, they become extremely dominating, somehow or another, it’s kind of a bumping station they are nearby or something. The whole air goes into their ego and they start, see, like floating in the air and kicking everybody around. Now, this kind of a thing is also a sinful thing to do. Because you are the wife of a leader, you have to behave. You cannot try to hurt people and trouble them because you are the wife of a leader. Actually, according to Shashtra, there are five mothers we are born. One of them is the wife of the leader, wife of the Guru, is your mother and she has to behave like a mother. She has to treat all the disciples like a mother and if supposing the leader is angry or upset with someone, she should try to soothe him down, she should try to talk to another person and say see now, this you should not do. This is her job. Not to dominate others. They are doing just what they are not supposed to do. So if anyone of them have problems and he cannot talk to the leader he’ll go to the lady and tell her, see this is the situation. And then she can really bring you down.

I remember one case in our life, it was really remarkable, my husband had somebody in the office who went out to another company, because this was a Government company and was not paying him so much, naturally, he got a good job so he went to another company. But he didn’t like it very much the way they were doing some things. So he came back and he asked my husband that I want the job back. He said “You get out, I’ll have nothing to do with you. Why did you leave the job”? So he didn’t know what to do, he tried but that didn’t work. So, he came to me. And he told me that, see I want to come back. I am a very good officer, I have done a very good job, but it was stupid on my part to have taken on another job, which I hate and I want to come back and serve my country. So when CP came home I told him that this gentleman came to see me. So he came to the right one you see. He said, “Now, are going to eat my head off”, I said “No” “I’m just telling you he came to me because he thought I was more generous than you are”. He said “What?” I said “Yes”, “I’m no less generous” (CP), I said “alright, you do what you like”. So, the next day he gave the job back to him. So the job of the woman is much bigger, much deeper, and much higher.

My husband had at least one hundred relations, very close. He told me that you have to look after my people. Then he got so fed up with me he said “I just told you to look after them, you’re making them sit on my head now”. I don’t feel that way. Not only those hundred but hundreds of their relations also I tried to help, as far as possible. You see this is something so satisfying that when I go to Lucknow they all come and see me, no one comes to see my husband, never. So, you see, you create a committee of your own. Your own community you also produce out of that. They are your own. If you need anything they will be there to help you, they’ll be there to look after you.

So what is most important is to just love and try to please others. If women can do that they have achieved their womanhood. All the time telling against somebody to your husband, all the time criticizing somebody to me, that’s not the way. On the contrary, never tell or complain about anyone, unless and until that person harms you. And always tell something nice – that’s the best way. For example, somebody comes to tell me about somebody “Mother, see he did this to me, he did that.” So I tell him a lie, and say, that’s allowed, and I tell him “now I don’t understand how do you say things about him. He was just praising you all the time. For one hour he praised you.” Finished. Really, they trust me. They think I’m telling the truth. That’s how you can run the family, you can run everyone around and Sahaja Yogis.

The first thing the women must know they have to become compassionate and loving. Their main power is in compassion. I think that is my power too. Why are you here? Some of you can’t even hear me, but you don’t mind sitting down here. It’s just love. Just love, you know. It’s so great to feel you know, this beautiful atmosphere of love, give and take. What else can we give each other? This is what I’m trying to tell you that this is the heart of the universe. What does the heart have. Compassion and love and enlightenment. So we have to understand that it is only through compassion you will be satisfied.

I’ve known so many people in this world who are very great, who think no end of themselves, who are very well known, great writers and I don’t know what else. All kinds. But they always complain that nobody comes to see us when we are old. I said it is the other way around here. The older I’m becoming, I’ve more visitors. Nobody seems to know about my age. They say “how do you do it?”, I said “just love, just compassion, just pure love, nothing else”. But they never loved anyone all their lives, and they lived like this. So now they are lonely, they are alone. They are talking to their fridges. Can you imagine, they talk to their fridges now. You can’t purchase a friend like that. You see, so this is a situation in which no Sahaja Yogi should land. So you should see how much collective you are, how much you help each other, how much you are kind to each other. This is very important to introspect and find out, more than anything else. It doesn’t matter if your vibrations are bad, doesn’t matter, they will be alright. But first your attitude has to be alright. In Sahaja Yoga I see people who don’t have good attitudes, can never progress.

Love should be pure. If you have love for someone you won’t see bad points of the other person, never. You will always see the good points of that person, always support that person. Sometimes I’m faced with such problems that there are people who are to be told, so I prepare myself first. Before the mirror – “I’ll stand up and say like this, I’ll say like this, I’ll say like this”. When the person comes in, half of it is lost. When I’m talking about 25% of this gets lost, whatever, 25% I have left, I tried it. It’s very easy to give up that than to keep it, very easy. It is better if you practice that, I’m sure. So little, little things you can suggest to them.

Like yesterday, you know what a nice present the English Sahaja Yogis gave me, was a beautiful miniature of Royal Albert Hall. Can you imagine, beautiful. With handwork on that, beautifully done, so beautifully done. It really, it was so from the heart, because I loved this hall somehow, since long. And shows the Queen Victoria, for whom I have such tremendous respect. Like she built it in the name of her husband. This kind of thing shows such a deep reverence for her husband, love for her husband, and she remained like a widow, when he died, throughout. She didn’t attend any functions, nothing. Like an Indian, we don’t, the women. And she enjoyed her widowhood. She was all the time with it and she did so many good things after that. She’s the one who created all this terracotta patterns you see around. She, in the seclusion she became extremely creative. But she was a deep person, and I think her example should be a good example for the, especially, the women of this country. It is very, very much a personality, which is respected, especially in India, very much. You know in a riot there was a statue of her, her nose – somebody had cut – and all the newspapers and everything and everyone went with the banners “who cut the nose, how dare you, how dare you do that” and they saw to it that it was put back. See, she’s a woman who is adored by a country, which was under her domination, in a way. But this is what is the personality of a woman.

We have to understand what we can do. When it comes to war a woman can become like Joan of Ark or if it is not, it is in peace time. She prepares for neutralizing wars, for bringing peace. She’s the one who is the creator of peace. She’s such a powerful thing because that is the real power. Not in doing some sort of a work like men and competing with them. But a deeper potential that you have. Use it for creating a very compassionate and beautiful place. In the field of peace, of global peace and bringing this compassion into action. It’s possible because you are all Sahaja Yogis. Husbands also must respect their wives. Very important. Where women are not respected, calamities come in – like Bangladesh. See Bangladesh is full of calamities because they don’t respect their women. Pakistan is full of calamities, now there are wars are going on, this is going on, because they don’t respect their women. What about Saudi Arabia, always in threat of wars. What about Iran. All these countries where women are not respected they are in trouble. But women also must respect themselves, not like the women in the west the way they throw themselves at the men. Why should you try to attract men all the time? Why should you try to be all the time dressed up that they should run after you? Why should you run after men, they should run after you. See this one is a culture which really debases women to I don’t know to what level. They are not prostitutes!! So we should have our own self respect.

I have told you of 3000 women who committed suicide in India because Muslims were going to invade so they burned themselves suddenly, just to protect their chastity. So the power of the woman is compassion but her vehicle or we can say the one that works out is her chastity. We should respect our body, respect our husbands, respect our children, respect everyone. That’s important. It’s very important, very complimentary, men and women are complimentary. Just like I always say that say, for the west though they have done very well in the Science field, the blacks are very complimentary because how can they win their rugby’s if they don’t have the blacks, what about losing – all these things are complimentary.

So we are a sum total as one – we have to have Indians also here, we have to have English also because we are all complimentary – like the left hand has to have also a right hand – it’s like that – it’s all a sum total together. But if you see complimentary powers like left side is complimentary to the right side. But they cannot be the same, they have to be opposite – otherwise how are they to be complimentary. So men should respect their wives and the wives must respect husbands because they are complimentary and in a proper way we have to understand the importance of married life in Sahaja Yoga. I spend so much time on these arrangements of marriages and this and that – you have no idea. If I could be spared of that I can write one more book. Because first, you select, then you marry, then you get all the changes – this, that, letters after letters. All the leaders – leaders are always worried about individual cases, always, they will write to me “Mother, there’s a problem, this woman doesn’t want to live with him, then this man doesn’t want to live with her”. I mean, you do something and then suddenly what you find is there are problems out of that. There are even worse – the whole year they will last – then comes another marriage. These people – I spend so much time on this. Now, this time those who don’t want to marry should not marry, and if they marry and do like this they will never be allowed to come to Sahaja Yoga – finished. (Gap in tape) They think they can do what they like – both of them are to get out of Sahaja Yoga and get a divorce – and then they’ll blame Sahaja Yoga. I say so because I have had lots of problems from all over the centres, all over the world.

So, now under the tree we have to promise, because they are living beings that we are not going to do all such nonsense and we are not going to create problems among ourselves and we are going to live very happily as husband and wife and enjoy life. Of course, there are very difficult cases, alright we can work it out. There could be exceptions, but out of hundred marriages, if the sixty marriages fail you’re better not to have it. And they discover after three years, somebody discovers – or four years – so God knows what is going to come up – it’s very difficult. So it’s not a marriage, what you call institution, it is a thing for having these great souls, which want to be born to you. For that we are having marriages but if you do like this then it will never work out. Or if you want to have divorce then at least no more marriages. Will be good idea.

I am so very happy to see so many children here. All are beautiful, born realized, sweet things and so joy giving and we should really know that between 10 to 15 years you will see the force that is coming out and they’ll correct you. They will remove all of your complications. So allow them to grow, allow them to be grown-up Sahaja Yogis and then you will see the difference. How sensible they are. How beautiful they are. Support them, help them, understand them. Some Sahaja Yogis who are lost to Sahaja Yoga I know that the children are dynamites. Let them grow they will put them right, I know that. So we reach to a point to understand that now we have to move a step forward. Forget about all these nonsensical things and petty things and useless things and your problems. What are we going to do about Sahaja Yoga. We have the powers to go one jump higher and this will work. Everybody, must think on those lines and I’m sure it will work out, very sure it will work out.

May God bless you all