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Talk to the Brides, The Responsibility of the Women, Ganapatipule (India), December, 28, 1995
You are all ready to get married and I bless you from My heart. Now, the duty of a wife I need not tell you, you know it very well. I’ve told you many-a-times that she is responsible to build the society of Sahaj. And as a result, she has [a] very great responsibility. She has to look after the whole family, the relations of [the] husband, and should go up to the great expectations of the family members also.
This can be done if you have really love for people. If you have love, you will have tolerance and you’ll be able to bring more people in Sahaja Yoga who are related to you and to your husband by showing a very good household that you have created.
Towards the husband you have to be very dedicated and don’t tell him about your past. Past is finished and start afresh. It’s a very dangerous thing to say anything about your past to your husband.
So, you have your expectations, so he too has his own expectations about you. Expectations should not be there in Sahaja Yoga. But gradually, if you understand the value of your marriage and you respect it, then you will not go after superficial things. You’ll not ask him to buy this, buy that for you on a material level. But also on the mental level you should not try to judge him, but as you are spiritual, he is also spiritual. So, you should see his vibrations. Don’t tell him but try to correct it slowly and steadily.
It’s easy to complain about married life, very easy, and it’s [a] very common thing. If there are two ladies who are dissatisfied with their married life, can create a big number of people who will be complaining about marriages. So, one has to be very watchful and carefulnot to indulge into gossips and talking about somethings which has no meaning in Sahaja Yoga.
Going to the higher life, we have to see that, as we are spiritual people, we have to keep our spirituality growing and growing so that great souls who want to be born on this earth will take birth in your families.
But that doesn’t mean, if you just get attached to your own child, then others’ children are not to be loved. Love doesn’t limit you, so you have to love others’ children also.
The guests who come in your house, you must look after. It is your duty to look after the guests. They are Sahaja Yogis, you have no business to insult them or to trouble them.
Your successful married life is going to help so many people in this world. We have to show that Sahaja Yoga marriages are extremely successful, peaceful and full of joy.
If you want to find faults, you see, there [is] no end to it. But it’s better to see your own faults and correct yourself. Of course, if there is any problem which is not soluble, which is absolutely difficult, then you can let Me know and I’ll try to solve it if possible. Otherwise, you can depart. But it’s a very last, extreme case.
It’s the wife who makes the family, she makes the marriage very good. So, it is for you to decide. Now, even now, there is time, if you don’t want to marry, you don’t like your husbands or in anyway you think he is not all right, you can decide now. There is time still for you to decide.
We have to prove that our marriages, Indian marriages, are not Indian: they are universal marriages. And they are to be treated with that great sense of responsibility. Once you understand your responsibility, I’m sure you will know what is to be done.
Firstly, you should never argue with your husband, as far as possible. You should not shout at him; you should not be disrespectful for him before others. And relationship between you and your husband is a secret; it should not be discussed on the cross-roads, you see.
Let people see for themselves how happy you are. But there is no need to be artificially happy. There is no need to be artificially suffering. There is no suffering that is allowed in Sahaja Yoga, so if you think something is wrong… [cut in the video].
… is done, it is sinful. One should never do like that; you are married in Sahaja Yoga not to separate your husband from collectivity. There’s more enjoyment, more sharing and no pressure if you all enjoy the collectivity.
I know you are all very wise and good girls and you will look after your family life and your social life and also look after your husband. But you should also look after other people and try to understand your problems: what problems you have, you had.
And then try to solve them so that those who come to your house or those who are in contact with you will be specially blessed by your Gruha Lakshmi quality.
In a collective way you must meditate. You must meditate at home and you must go to every meditation centre whenever it is necessary.
I’ve seen the women in Sahaja Yoga are rather poor for spirituality, it’s very surprising. I am Myself a woman and I can’t understand that they are so busy, you see, doing all other things but not meditation. So, you have to become gems in Sahaja Yoga. In spirituality you have to rise.
For that you must meditate at home and also go to all the collective programmes you have. This will help you a lot, help you, your children, they will become very good children, and their whole standard of life will be very much higher and spiritual. We have to create these great families.
That’s why I was insisting that we should have marriages here. But by this, if we have all the other kind of useless marriages, it’s better not to have.
So, I request you to take up the responsibility of a wife and look after the whole family, look after the whole family of Sahaja Yogis. And apart from that, you have to think what you can contribute to Sahaja Yoga. We have some very great women who have done a lot, who are married women, done a lot for Sahaja Yoga.
In the same way, you should take up upon yourself to do Sahaja Yoga work and Sahaja Yoga expansion.
I hope you understand how important you are in Sahaja Yoga. After all, this husband is more busy outside and maybe he might little bit neglect you. But that doesn’t mean that he neglects; you must understand that he has to work hard and this and that.
Also, there’s the demand on his time, demand on his money should be minimum, minimum that is possible.
But if [the] husband is absolutely careless about you, and doesn’t bother about you, or he dominates you or troubles you, tortures you; in any way if you are unhappy you are open, absolutely open to write to Me about all that is happening, because I’ll try to correct him and I’ll try to see what is the problem inside.
The last thing one has to know [is] that a woman has to be extremely moral. She has to be extremely moral. If she becomes immoral, the husband will become immoral, the children will become immoral. So, you have to stick onto your morality, be proud of it and you can do it because God has given you a special quality. So, it is your duty to keep great morality in the family and to live like good citizens of your country, citizens of Sahaja Yoga family.
I bless you all with My heart again and please accept what I’ve said. If you don’t want, even now, not to marry, you can decide that; [Shri Mataji laughs] if possible, I will try to remove this (out).
Thank you very much.
May God bless you.
H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi