Marriages and Talk After Marriages, Mahalakshmi Principle

Nirmal Temple, Cabella Ligure (Italy)

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[Shri Mataji speaks at the end of the marriage ceremony]

Shri Mataji: You hear?
Yogi: Yes.
Shri Mataji: It was such a joyous and a beautiful occasion that we all enjoyed it thoroughly and all the brides and bridegrooms look so very happy. It gives Me great pleasure and I bless you from My heart.
Only I would say that after marriage try to make a loving successful marriage. It is very important.
For example, we saw from one country there were six to seven girls who misbehaved and took a divorce. Because of this kind of a thing we have banned that country practically because we think there’s something wrong with these ladies that they have broken one after another so many marriages.
So must be their empty ego or may be something like that. It has been our experience. Also there are some other countries also. From there are – we find some very bad instances of very good marriages we have had. So what I said that if you don’t want to marry don’t marry.

But in Sahaja Yoga it is not for yourself or for your wife you are marrying but you are marrying for Sahaja Yoga. So when you fight, quarrel or do all nonsense you are only harming the name of Sahaja Yoga.
So you have to enjoy each other’s love, each other’s feelings, and the joy of a married life. I have seen some people are so stupid that they don’t know what is the joy of a married life. If you do not want to enjoy it’s alright. It’s like the cake if you don’t eat, you don’t eat.

But to be sensible and to be acting according to the Divine laws, you should stick on properly with great excitement and great enthusiasm.

There are so many marriages in Sahaja Yoga who have been extremely successful. They have got children who are born realized, very beautiful children and they have all the families coming to Sahaja Yoga by seeing how the marriages have taken place.
I have to give some notes to you that the husband should not think that because he has married he has a right to dominate the wife, always to sit on her head. Of course in the West they don’t do it. But in India they do it very much. They are very, very aggressive men.
On the contrary in the West I find that women are much more, much more aggressive than the men are, which is something I can’t understand. And because of this sometimes the marriages fail. There is no need to aggress anyone. Need not trouble anyone. If it’s absolutely incorrigible, if it is not at all possible to carry on, we have in Sahaja Yoga sanctioned divorces. But it’s a shameful thing. I don’t like it to have divorces and then not to enjoy the life.

So you should get into a beautiful romantic mood now, and enjoy your wife and enjoy your husbands. And don’t start quarreling from the first day (Shri Mataji laughs, laughter and applause).

Now. If you indulge into divorces you bring actually bad name to your family, upbringing. Then you bring bad name to your country.
And as a result other girls who want to get married from your country, because of My experience of such girls who have destroyed their married life, I don’t like to marry anyone from that country.
It has become now a practice that we see about six-seven years now, how the marriages have been working out. So if you want to discard completely all the decency and the beauty of Sahaja Yoga marriage, then it would have been better you should have decided not to marry. Because there’s no obligation on us as such. It’s more the obligation on you that you should get a good wife or a good husband.

Despite everything – supposing you don’t want to accept it or don’t want to do it, do not just think of the divorce, because I have seen people in the West are always thinking at the time of marriage how to get divorce. But is a very shameful thing. It’s a very wrong thing. It shows no sahaj life. If you are real sahaja yogis you should be able to carry on with your wife or with your husband in a very loving sahaj manner. Is the blessing of Ganesha on you. He’ll protect your married life, He’ll help you very much, He’ll take you away from wrong things.
I know it’s such a blissful thing to be married in Sahaja Yoga. But there are some stupid women or stupid men who do not want to enjoy their married life. That case we will agree to have them divorced. But once they are divorced we’ll not allow them to marry in Sahaja Yoga.
That is for definite. We don’t want to marry anyone who has divorced.
If they have divorced with proper reason it’s alright, but just for the sake of divorcing if you want to have a kind of a special treatment you will not.
So I have to tell you that as far as Sahaja Yoga is concerned, divorce is out of bounds but in case you want to fight, you want to trouble, you want to destroy other’s lives, then of course divorce is done.
I would request you now to enjoy the company of your wife or your husband. It is for enjoyment that we have started marrying people from this country to that country.
Yesterday I have told you that you don’t organize your marriages because we are not responsible. Let us organize your marriages.
If you start like this, all kinds of funny problems will start as they have mostly in the Western society.
Because, they come here, they want to select a girl, or they select the girl in their, from their own centers. That is in center they are not meditating but trying to find out a girl or a boy. This kind of a nonsense we want to stop.
So if you want to marry in Sahaja Yoga you don’t have to find out your own bride or your bridegroom because we want to see how the vibrations match and how things work out.
Despite that also marriages fail. But invariably I have seen when the marriages are fixed by themselves they fail. It’s just like any other marriage.
So the best thing for you is to now make a compromise with yourself that you are not going to be stupid and you are not going to waste your married life.
I’ve been crying, you see, with your smoke (Shri Mataji laughs).

So I worked very hard for you.
With all this we have done, with such scrutiny, with such understanding; and you should not make us miserable for nothing at all.

So I again and again request you that you be in a very happy mood now. I’m very happy, I bless you from My heart.
And I am sure your marriages will work out. But don’t be hasty.
Take it easy. Everything is to be taken easy first of all, and see, gently work it out your marriage.

May God bless you.
Thank you all. (Applause)

Yogi: Now, now on behalf of yogi married couples and sahaja yogis, we offer garland to Shri Mataji.
Shri Mataji: In a…(She laughs) We have a custom now that the bride and bridegroom receive their food in one plate, one plate. And they feed each other. So the first, the boy …

(Speech in Marathi away from mike)
Ah. First the girl, the bride has to give the morsel in the mouth of the husband. You shouldn’t be very naughty to give a big one, alright? (Laughter)
Ah. Then the boy, the bridegroom, has to give the morsel in the mouth of his bride – with love.
Now also there is custom in India, I don’t know if you can do that. It’s very simple though that you have to take the name of your wife or your husband in a couplet. It’s like this. And if you can do some people, you just compose it now, and you can raise your hands. Say I give you about ten minutes to compose a couplet in any language that you want to, in which the name of the bride and bridegroom is there.
So the bride does that and the man does that. Then all your life, married life, you don’t call your husband by name.
I mean, it’s something great (She laughs) that you are not to call your husband by name. But you have to say what – I don’t know in English – darling? (She laughs, laughter and applause)
That is, that is I don’t know what that is in English, but…. but that’s how, but… according to us in Indian way we call him the master. And also in Maharashtra they call it the Turban-in-the-hook. You see, because the husband has a turban and he puts it on the hook. So they call it… If you ask him (her), “Where is your husband?” – so she, the lady will answer, “The turban-in-the-hook has gone out” (laughter, She laughs). So there are interesting, very, very interesting customs. And that actually brings husband and wife very much together.
There are so many games they play after the marriage is done.
But practically now I think you have got lots of things done already; but if you want to take the names I’ll give you ten minutes I said.
Alright?
Thank you.
[The garland is offered to Shri Mataji]

H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi.