Nirmal Dham Bhoomi Pujan: The pain can only be removed by you

New Delhi (India)

2000-04-07 Bhoomi Devi Puja Talk, NGO Foundation, New Delhi, India, Hindi, 44'
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2000-04-07 Public Program Nirmal Dham Bhoomi Pujan Hindi Nodia NITL-RAW, 48'
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2000-04-07 Public Program (Hindi)

[Translation from Hindi scanned from the Divine Cool Breeze]

I bow to you all the seekers of truth. I never expected that you will come in such big numbers, and would understand the importance of this work, Once we were going for a Sahaj Yoga programme, and were passing through a place known as Daulatabad. By chance, in a sahaj way, our car developed some problem and stopped. When I got down I saw there were many women, more than a hundred, standing there with their children. The number of children was many times more than the women These women were collecting water from a leaking tap. Wearing tattered clothes, and managing to cover their heads with torn veils, they were standing in that scorching heat. I couldn’t understand what was happening! I asked them, “What are you doing here? How have you come here?” They replied, we are all Muslim ladies. Our husbands have divorced us. These are our children. The amount of Mehar (settlement), which we got from our husbands, was so little, that it was not enough even to pull on for a month. Somehow we have got employment. We break stones into small pieces to earn our livelihood. But where do you live? They pointed towards an area of broken down huts. We live there. There were crooked tin sheds and some had only some cloth shelter, which could not be called a house. They said we all live in that.
I said, O God. Tears began to roll down My eyes. I sat there on a stone and started crying. That crying was not going to solve anything. A question arose in my mind that despite the rich culture and purity of our country, and despite the fact that the women of this country hold their character in high esteem, why is the condition of our country so miserable? Then another thought came to my mind. If the mothers are so miserable, what will be the condition of the children? How could they bring up their children and educate them? Then a thought came to me that there should be some organisation which could support and help these kind of destitute and neglected women, and give them some help and support. Many years have passed since. And I became absorbed in Sahaj Yoga work.
My inlaws belong to Uttar Pradesh. There I saw, there is no respect for women. No one listens to them. Women are dominated. Only women who assert themselves could be noticed, but the simple and mild women are suppressed in every way. No one bothers about them, whatever their condition. If some women die in their young age, their husbands are invited to marry again. I was aghast to see all this because this this does not happen in Maharashtra . In Uttar Pradesh if a woman becomes a widow, the society forces her to remain a widow for the rest of her life. So I thought that such an organisation should be started first in Uttar Pradesh.

And it gives me great satisfaction and joy that we are starting this organization in Uttar Pradesh. It is my desire that these destitute and needy women should be given such training that they become self-sufficient and be able to support and bring up their children nicely. They should command respect. But this organisation by itself is not sufficient. This problem is of a very scale. The bigger goal will be achieved only when women are given their rightful place in the society. When the men of this place begin to realize their duty and responsibility towards their wives and their families, and what they are required to do. Their lives are very self centred. This has to be changed Men should look after their family, their children, their wife, their mother with real love, affection and understanding. So many of you are sitting here. If you all take a pledge to honor and respect the women, then a lot can be achieved. Men never become widowers. But if a woman becomes a widow, she remains a widow forever. She is tormented so much. It is the women who point fingers and say – you must be very unfortunate. Something must be wrong with your stars. And even to the extent that ‚”you ate up your husband”!. I Myself have heard them with My own ears, saying things like this! Maybe that is the reason why women of olden times used to commit Sati, (jump into the funeral pyre of the husband). The worst happens if a widowed girl is young and charming. Then she is very vulnerable.

That is why, first of all I said, that if any widow comes into Sahaj Yoga, she should be made to get married again. But who will marry a widow in our country? If at all someone does agree to marry a widow, he will keep on humiliating her. Being born a male, makes a man think he is a superior being with special rights to do whatever he desires. They do not know that this is the road to hell. This is wrong. It is nothing but wickedness. This sort of behaviour is depravity.
To behave in this manner with one’s wife, who provides all comforts to you, is against our culture. It is written in the Indians scriptures – „Yatra Naariya pujante; Tatra ramante Devata”– where the women are honoured, There reside the Gods”. But women have also to be worthy of honor and respect. The women of our country are in a miserable condition today. That is the reason why there could be not be a good government in the country. It can never improve. These are the days of Navratri but all the Goddesses are unhappy with this kind of situation. No blessings will come from them. Right from Goddess Laxmi onwards, no Goddess will give you any blessings, if you do not take care of your wife and do not give her the respect she deserves. I feel that if this can be corrected, then every other kind of problem will be solved. Because sakshat Lakshmi’s blessings will come as solutions. Those who do not respect the Gruha Lakshmi of the house, they have no right to expect any blessings from Lakshmi.
In this connection I happened to see a Video Tape, in which they showed the widows who live in Brindavan and Gokul. Shri Krishna Himself must be wondering how these women are being made to suffer so many hardships. Because they are widows, they are made to sing bhajans the whole day, and earn only one rupee for it. And people use them for all kinds of services.
I was wondering, after seeing this video, no one had any reaction or judgement. There are five lakh women in this plight. It did not prick the conscience of anyone. Those who are rich and amassing wealth, that they should go there and do something to relieve the suffering of these women? . Make something for them. No one with morals or sympathy for the miserable state of these widows! It never entered their minds. And this video has been shown many times. I felt there is no use to continue showing this video. And the lady who came to show this film was motivated by the desire to defame the organizers and for publicity. What will happen by screening the film. If they have so much of money then why don’t they construct proper Ashrams for these women. There are one or two ashrams but not with proper facilities. The existing Ashrams, which are very few in numbers, are not managed properly. So why shouldn’t an Ashram be built, where at lease these women can get shelter and food. Many women commit suicide, because it is better to die, than to live in these conditions.
In our society it is compulsory for a woman to get married. And after marriage if the husband dies then all is lost. Then living becomes very difficult for her. And she has to face all kinds of insults. All these kinds of problems exist in this country. It is not so in other countries, because there are different ethics. If a woman becomes a widow, she will go around and find herself another husband. , or look for some other business. Our country is such, that along with Rani Padmini, thirty-two thousand women jumped into a pit of fire to save their honour. To save their purity. So in this country what other alternative do they have. N what way can we lessen their burden. So much They cannot live a life of honour and dignity. Their situation becomes so bad that I feel that if anyone gets some disease, at least he can go to a hospital. Some solution or others can be found for him or her. But tell Me, in the case of these unfortunate women, in what way can we lessen their burden. So much sorrow and not even a sympathizer. To add to this there is a belief that even seeing a widow would bring bad luck. Must not eat food cooked by a widow. This society of ours does not know that this has not been written in any of the Scriptures. Shri Rama got Mandodri married to Vibheeshana. There are innumerable examples. Shri Rama did this. After the death of Ravana, Shri Rama got Mandodari married to Vibheeshana. But people say that up to that it was alright. But other widows cannot marry again.
Now just think, that if your mother, sister or daughter is pushed into such a circumstance, then God save us from such a Samaj (society). Better there is not any Samaj at all. And if there is, then everyone has the right to live a happy and peaceful life. So I desire that if any of you have troubled the ladies, inside your family or outside, he should completely change himself. He should consider himself guilty of the crime, and I cannot tell you what will be their punishment. Because Satya Yuga has started. And it is necessary `that everyone should stay within the path of dharma. And in dharma the most important thing is love. If a man cannot even love his own wife, then whom can he love. The one who cannot love his daughter, whom can he love. Her only fault is that she is a woman. If there were no women in the world, from where would you have got a mother, and from where would you have come. An aversion to this should arise.
In Maharashtra also there was a problem of child widows. Not this much, but still there were. But such great stalwarts existed, like Tilak, Gokhale, Ranade etc. They all got married to widows. And they brought about a lot of awareness there. Made reforms. In Pune, education for women is completely free. Up to graduation they don’t have to spend a penny. More than that is required here. Because compared to that place the situation is very bad here. It is very necessary to bring about awareness and vigilance.
If the woman is overbearing, then she is the boss. A lot of women have learnt that it is better they become dominating and aggressive. But there is no use in this. It is the dharma of a woman to absorb everything into herself. Because, like Mother Earth she has her own powers. They must awaken their shaktis. She should stand on her dharma, awaken her creative powers, and live with self-esteem.
Just by talking nothing can be accomplished. We should understand fully that this is a grievous sin. And we should never do such wrong things. Only then can we have some change in our country. Just by joining Sahaja Yoga it cannot be done. Everybody, whether a Sahaja Yogi or not, if anyone in your neighbourhood is beating a woman, you should go and rescue her. If someone is drunk and behaving violently, then you must correct him. This is your duty as a member of the society. And till such an awakening comes within you; till then, this job cannot be achieved.
The second problem is with the women themselves. That they have so much self respect that they will suffer everything quietly, but if you even suggest that they should marry again, they will never agree. We had a Sahaja Yogini. Very beautiful to look at, and she had three children. The elder boy must have been 14 or 15. Wherever she went to look for a job, the men used to get mad after her. Not after their own wives, but after another women who is a widow. So lots got after her. So I told her in a roundabout way. I told her that in view of all these problems that you are facing, it is better if you get married again. She just fainted. As soon as she heard this, she fainted, that how could Shri Mataji suggest this. When she regained consciousness, she asked Me – Mother, what mistake did You see in me that You made such a suggestion. O Dear! What was this terrible punishment that I suggested to you. Means, there is such a lot of false belief and conditioning in the minds of women, that they constantly feel „Oh! I have become a widow”! According to the norms of society , I can never marry again. Cant do anything. And if we do, then we are good for nothing. Who will advise and convince them. Then I made her son understand that you try and convince your mother, because she will not be able to live safely anywhere, because she was beautiful, and a widow. Then, after one year this entered her brin, after she suffered a lot of hardships. After a year she realised that what Shri Mataji was telling me, was for my own good. Then I fixed her marriage. Of course there was no question of getting her married in India, because once a woman is widowed, she is a lost case. I got her married in the US. In that way her children were also looked after, grew up, and got settled in the world. These women will beg for alms, but will never marry again. Has this been told by God! Is it written in any shastras (scriptures). No where. These have been man made, to torture women. We dont believe in widowhood. Just don’t believe. Because, what is widowhood. If a husband has died, then he has died. But that becomes widowhood and is branded on her head. Is this necessary. Or then, both should die together. And if they don’t, then make the woman’s position so miserable. There is no such statute that all couples should die together. If this was the dharma, then all would have died together. But this does not happen. But if by chance the woman stays alive, then she is a lost case. Women have borne so much sorrow, that now you don’t have to endure any more sorrow again. Such women could be fighter cocks, or dominate everyone in the house. All this can happen. But she cannot be a good woman. She will always be distressed and disturbed. That is why this organization has been started, on a small scale, and I will try to see that they will be supported and trained to stand on their own feet and live with dignity. And if they are widows and still young, we will get them married into good homes. If you don’t agree to marry them, we will get them married in America. You keep sitting here. This is the best. If you think too much of yourselves, then keep sitting here. This ego of man must go. I have always said that it is not the women who have to be reformed. It is the men who need to be reformed. What is it that gives you so much pride in your head. What do you think of yourselves. Someone was just telling me, that if a man goes into IAS (Indian Administrative Service), then he is the most sought after son-in-law. I asked, what is there in IAS. No penny nor paisa. No earnings. Nothing. Only problems every day. I know this very well. That is, if you are an honest person. And if you are dishonest, then also problems. And if you are honest, then plenty of trouble. Inspite of that, women stay there and look after all the family members, support them, and give them love. But I could never understand that how it entered the brains of men, that if they are in IAS they become something exclusive! Once anything enters the heads of human beings, especially in India, then he starts flying like a balloon. Then, whether he hits someone, or kicks them, or uses a stick on someone, or illtreats anyone, it never occurs to him that, what is this I am doing?
Of course they will be vegetarians. The Jain community says – Do not kill even a mosquito. Do not kill bedbugs. All the things that suck blood, do not kill them. But one can beat his wife. That is allowed. After all she is your wife, and she has come to your house to be beaten. If she cannot bear beatings, then what kind of a wife is she! This weakness of yours, and we are so shameless, that the reason for this that whatever self respect we have, gets finished. It used to be said in our country, that those who do menial jobs, they beat their wives. But now I see that everyone beats. No one has any shame or conscience in this matter. In other matters there is lot of self respect and shame, but not in beating your wife. They will scold their wife in front of everyone. They see no harm in it, that I have insulted my wife before others. Why did I do this. I should not have done it.
Actually in the homes itself there is no teaching of the boys. And that is how they are brought up. Therefore in this organisation, I will do My best, to see that women are relieved of all these sufferings. The good work that is being done, no one notices. The children are getting spoilt. Your own children are becoming unruly. They will steal and commit other misdeeds. How has all this come. Because the society itself has broken down. Family life has broken down. This is why it has happened.
So our kutumb (family unit) is very important. It is the collection of many family units that makes up the society. And from societies, countries are built. We talk of our country. What about the family. The family itself is getting lost. A family who lives with honour, self respect and loyalty to the country, only then will the women get their place. She should be respected. We must try to understand her.
In Maharashtra also have arrangements for such organisations, where this same state of affairs exists. Like troubling the daughters-in-law like it happens here. But that will also change. And this will also change And these people will have to change. If they do not change, then their own children will grow up and beat their fathers. They will beat their own wives later, but first they will beat their fathers. Then everyone’s head will become alright. So much ego is there in human beings. After all, for what is there so much ego? What big achievement have you done that you have so much pride. Now, everyone must support and help this organisation. Not just giving money. But in making it successful. The biggest challenge is that we have to look after these women. We have to find them and bring them here. I don’t know, because I do not live here. So, if you know of any such women in distress, who are oppressed and are in trouble, and who have no one to support them, and who are suffering a lot after being widowed; all such women should be brought by you to this organisation. Right now there is arrangement for 100 ladies. What will this be sufficient. But still. We have to make them understand what is being done here.
Those who have no choice will of course come here. But those who choose to stay on in their homes, and are being tortured, have to be helped. Their husbands and their inlaws have to be counselled and advised. Our country is the only one where the family unit is valued. Nowhere else. The credit for this goes to the Indian Woman. Not to the men. It is they who have anchored this country. If not, we also would have been lost long ago. And it is better for you to understand that if you continue to do this excessive torture, then these same women will revolt. That will not be good. It will be the murder of love. It is not a good thing. The good thing is, that with proper understanding you protect and look after your wives, and your daughters. You protect them. And give them love and affection. They should feel that you love them. All the time. There is no danger that they will take advantage and sit on your head. One odd case may be there. But if a man is morally strong, she can never sit on your head. But if she is suppressed – she should not be so suppressed that even the children are not able to be brought up properly. Children do not respect their mothers. Even if they touch the mother’s feet, they do it as if some stone or bricks are lying in their way. And the father has no time. Then definitely the children will get spoilt. And all the crimes that are happening, which we read in the papers every day, are caused by the fact that our family unit is not strong. It is due to them that our society exists. And you are sitting here. If you want it to continue you must remember that honoring women, supporting them in their advancement, and bringing about a change in society, must be considered by you as your supreme aim. And you must put your attention to that. This is My dearest wish. I keep blessing you with eternal blessings, but to enjoy all these blessings you have to gather everyone together. We have to consolidate everyone. When you cannot even unite one family, who will you unite. It is important that everyone should live together with love and harmony. Now you are Sahaja Yogis and this is a very important achievement. This is gyan marg. In this you understand the real meaning of love, and how we have to do give and take with each other. How we should behave towards each other. You will be amazed to see how the whole society will change. We don’t have to become like the foreigners. Not at all. There the women keep filing lawsuits . In America the women marry seven or eight times and become rich. All the husbands become paupers. Not all this. We don’t want all this. What do we want. Mutual love. Good children. You will see how much this can benefit you. Lots of benefis. There will be prosperity, not only for the society, but also for the country. There will be no cause for fighting and misunderstandings. If this is for the general good, then why don’t we do it. In this understanding we can progress. What I see is this. Here all Sahaja Yogis are sitting and I am going to tell you something new. That others recognize that these people are Sahaja Yogis. We people who are Sahaja Yogis should unite all of them together. It is the swabhav (nature) of Sahaja Yogis which will impress every one and bring them into Sahaja Yoga. What I have said, preserve it in your heart. Because this gives Me pain inside. And this pain, can only be removed by you. Eternal Blessings (Ananth Aashirwaad)