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H. H. S H R I M A T A J I N I R M A L A D E V I
Weddings, Talk To Bridegrooms
Palazzo Doria, Cabella Ligure (Italy), September 17th, 2000
I didn’t give any lecture to the girls.
I think it is more the responsibility of the men to make their marriages successful.
Men have to understand that marriage is a very important part of your life. And your time and respect should be given for that.
The way you care for your wife from the very beginning helps you a lot.
You try and understand what she wants, what are her demands, anything – try to see that you show her your interest in her. From the very first day, be careful not to neglect her and to misunderstand her. She comes from another country, so she has her own upbringing, her own ideas – try to understand and respect them.
Marriage is all joy, but you must take it up very seriously. It’s not just a joke.
Specially in Sahaja Yoga, one should understand that marriage is a very important thing, by which you have a couple which are sanctified. And they carry the responsibility of making the Sahaja Yoga very successful. Sahaja Yoga is a great thing, because it can transform the whole world into a very beautiful place. And you are responsible for that.
As men, you should understand your responsibility as a great person, who is the, sort of a head of the family.
I – yesterday I told you that I don’t believe in divorce, but I expect you to be very good husbands, who will give all love, all affection, all care to your wives.
In Sahaja Yoga, men and women are absolutely equal. They may not be similar, but they are absolutely equal. And they are complementary to each other. You should not think that your life is the most important one, and that your wife is something negligible.
I have seen most of the marriages in Sahaja Yoga are successful, and they have very nice children also.
Marriages only fail when there is the play of ego. That is more with men than women normally. And that can ruin the lives of your wife and yourself, your children.
Women are sensible, but they can tolerate up to a point. So we should see how much wisdom you have, to make a good family – that is what we need. With good families only, we’ll have good children and we’ll have a universal Sahaja Yoga.
So, please, do not have expectations about yourself, but about your wife – what she wants, what her desires are, what her needs are, you must look after that side.
As men, you have responsibility. You are not marrying just for marriage’s sake, but you have a responsibility. At least 95% Sahaja Yoga marriages are successful, and very beautiful children are born, children are born to Sahaja Yogis who are sensible. But if you have any problem, you must tell Me and we’ll try to help you. Sahaja Yoga is one big, global family.
So you have also your responsibility to the whole organization of Sahaja Yoga.
She is coming from another family, another country, another atmosphere.
So try to make her understand and adjust herself. So don’t try to find faults with her, but make her feel comfortable and happy, then she can grow in Sahaja Yoga very well.
And your children must respect the mother, absolutely. As you respect Me, your children should also respect their mother.
I’m sure you are going to have a very nice time, if you are sensible about your marriage.
There is no force in Sahaja Yoga.
You have decided to marry in Sahaja Yoga and so the marriage has taken place.
I haven’t told anything to the ladies this time, because they look so sensible, so anxious and looking for the future.
I think always men should try to understand the responsibility of a married life, more than women.
Innately, the women know and understand that it’s important that their married life should be successful.
But I’ve found out sometimes the men take them for granted – that should not be such.
For everything she does for you, and with all love and affection, you must appreciate it.
You should appreciate her, that’s the only way you can show your love to her.
You know, in Sahaja Yoga we don’t allow men to go about with other women, or women going about with other men. It’s not allowed at all, no way.
I think you are all sensible and you will understand your responsibility, marrying a Sahaja Yogini – you are not marrying an ordinary woman, you are marrying a Sahaja Yogini and you pay all the due to her. That’s how you will glorify Sahaja Yoga.
May God bless you all.
[Later at the hangar, at the end of the marriage ceremony – while one of the brides talks about her husband, Shri Mataji says probably aside: “Not yet. Very good”. Ultimately, after all bridegrooms and brides have talked, Shri Mataji takes the microphone]
Congratulations to all of you. (Applause)
It’s a very beautiful experience for me also, to see you all are married so happily with each other, and assuring Me that you’ll lead a very happy and congenial married life.
I’m sure you can do it.
It’s not so difficult. In Sahaja Yoga you know how to love and how to express love.
And these marriages are based on Divine love, that’s even purer, much higher and much more joy-giving.
So I bless you all with My, all My heart, that you all enjoy your married life.
Enjoy is the point. If you cannot enjoy your married life, it will be a misery.
So I want to tell you, whatever is there, learn how to enjoy everything. That’s the best way you can do it. Just now, as you were telling about your names and describing, I felt such a collective feeling within you to understand each other, appreciate each other, and to feel the joy together.
That’s something great that’s in Sahaja Yoga.
So may God bless you, with all My heart I bless you. (Applause)
Guido: Bolo Jagan Mata Adi Shakti Mataji Shri Nirmala Devi Ki!