CREDITS & Notice of Rights

COMPILATION AND BOOK RESEARCH : Henno and Trupta deGraaf, Lakshmi Ward, Marie Rajan, Victoria Zyblut, Phil Ward
PHOTOGRAPHY : Paul Anant, Calin Chiroiu, Matthew Cooper, Dmitry Kovalev, Michael Markl, Richard and Gautama Payment, Axinia Samoilova, Vera Subkus
DESIGN CREDITS : Dara Tittjung, Mario Barba, Manfred Tittjung
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. […]

ABOUT FLIRTING AND FALLING IN LOVE

We may be surrounded by friends and other people who find it normal to have a boyfriend or girlfriend –but we know that we would like a deeper relationship based on spiritual values.
It is essential to remember that our self-respect is strengthened by being patient and waiting until we get married. Following a chaste life, in the essence of what this means, allows us to gain the most – we will be sure of success in all its aspects. […]

THE PRINCIPLE OF MARYADAS

We have  to understand that  how to keep our relationships  in proper respect to each other’s modesty and chastity
” … Now we have to understand the maryadas, about which I have told you before also. The relationships between men and women are only pure if a certain amount of boundaries are kept. Like, supposing you have milk in one container and you have got something else in another container. To keep the purity of one container, […]

THE TRADITION OF RAKSHA BANDHAN

The sister makes some nice things for him to eat
” … Now, today is the day when in India we had a function held where people tied rakhi to someone, to someone whom they found to be a sister. And still now, it’s now ten years have passed to those things, but that day they will call the sister. The sister comes, she ties the rakhi, and the brother has to give some sweet present to her. […]

THE ROLE OF BROTHER AND SISTER

THE ROLE OF THE SISTER
 
She tells him the right path, enlightens him and sometimes shocks him
” … Everywhere what the electricity does, a sister does for her brother – she cooks for him, she tells him the right path, she enlightens him and sometimes shocks him, also. They have to have certain shocks; otherwise they will not know how to work it out. And the best of all, she’s the one for whom you have to be very careful to know the technique how to handle your sister. […]

A PURE RELATIONSHIP

That purity must be maintained in the society of Sahaja Yoga
” … Now the last day (of Diwali) is very important, is a very universal day I should say, called as Bhaya Duja. They call it also in Marathi Vao Dijum. It’s the brothers and sisters day. Now the brothers’ and sisters’ relationship has to be very, very strong. And the purity of that relationship is to be maintained. It is not necessary that you should be born as brothers and sisters, […]

THE BROTHER AND SISTER RELATIONSHIP

Relationships between men and women have lost their boundaries in modern society. The values of innocence and chastity are not respected though they are the basis of balanced societies.
Outside of marriage, men and women should have a brother and sister relationship filled with respect, innocence and protection. Shri Mataji once said ‘”if this could be managed, it would be a great day of ecstasy for Me.”
True freedom and security in society are based on a dharma in which for women, […]

THE ORIGIN OF GUILT

The greatest guilt is when he crosses the limits of sisterhood
 
” … Now, these relations are disappearing, which are to live again, to prosper again and to grow again, and thus we are going to improve our left Vishuddhi. Left Vishuddhi comes out of guilt. But in the subconscious the greatest guilt in a human being is when he crosses the limits of sisterhood. This is the greatest guilt in his mind, which he is not aware. […]

TO HAVE A SENSE OF SHAME

So the sense of shame must be developed among men and women
 
” … It looks nice, it looks beautiful. It gives you an additional charm if you have the sense of shame, a little bashfulness. See, your Princess of Wales is regarded as something beautiful. She is bashful. Her bashfulness is so natural. That bashfulness is not there, like a – I don’t know what animal does that, but somebody who has no shame. […]

IDEAS OF WESTERN SOCIETY

How you can rationalize sex? It is such a spontaneous thing
 
” … But as you will find that in the West it’s hard to find a really a wise person. You can say that people are over-educated and they are very well equipped with understanding of the material side of life and all that, but as far as the wisdom is concerned, one can get shocked the way they are behaving. I just can’t understand – […]

THE POWER OF CHASTITY

Chastity is the fragrance in the flower, the essence of our existence
” … People try to do things to look very attractive and this and that. Don’t waste your energy like this. You are saints, live like saints. Traditionally as we live, we have to live that way and evolve out of the tradition, don’t do something new, something absurd, nonsensical. We don’t have to attract anyone. Chastity is the fragrance in the flower which attracts the bees, […]

THE IMPORTANCE OF INNOCENCE

It is important that they must preserve their innocence
” … Now, this Ganesha when He is in a childhood, as you see, when the child is born, the children are extremely protective or fiery, you can say, about anybody touching their innocence. When they are absolutely young they are not even aware of it. But slightly, as soon as they start growing, they become very aware and they don’t like their clothes to be taken out in the presence of others, […]

INNOCENCE AND CHASTITY

The essence of pure love and the source of joy is  innocence. Chastity is our power, the fragrance of existence. Both must be respected if we want to feel the pure joy of the spirit.
In Indian tradition, girls learn from a young age the skills to prepare them for marriage. Boys prepare themselves to get a stable job and assume the responsibilities of a family. From childhood, they are both taught to feel the company of their future husband or wife. […]

ADVICE TO WOMEN

REALISE YOUR IMPORTANCE
We all could do what Mother is doing today
” … So this new movement of women’s liberation and all that, is a sign of that secret work that is going on. Because women are left- sided, they are sly. They work it out very cleverly and cunningly. But you all could be like Me. You all could achieve all My powers much more than men can achieve if you want to.
But you have to get out of your small visions and small ideas about glorifying yourself. […]

QUALITIES OF WOMEN

Shri Mataji has often said that women have a special role in society and that they have special qualities and powers. It is important to understand the importance of this role and to try to develop those
qualities.
Shri Mataji has encouraged women to maintain their chastity and self-respect. Rather than adopting manly qualities to achieve respect and recognition in society, women should endeavor to live up to their special role and use the powers they have within. […]

ROLE MODELS OF GREAT WOMEN

SHRI LAKSHMI
She doesn’t  assert pressure on people
” … Now, this Lakshmi is the Goddess who stands on the lotus. She represents all the well-being, the wealth, the glory of wealth, the decoration of wealth; whichever is auspicious. Whatever is not auspicious is not wealth. According to Sahaja Yoga, or according to any scripture, it is not wealth at all. So She’s a lady who stands on a lotus, showing that a person who has got wealth has to be a person who does not assert his pressures on people, […]

WOMEN

When we contemplate Shri Mataji’s life we can see that She is leading the kind of life of which every woman dreams. She has been a respected daughter, woman and wife; beautiful, magnetic and dynamic. She has a happy marriage and is a wonderful mother, grandmother and great- grandmother – loving, patient and playful. She is independent and plays an active role in society and is respected all over the world; spreading justice and peace, helping mankind on all levels, […]

ADVICE TO MEN

TO APPRECIATE AND RESPECT  WOMEN
Women want to give love and men have to appreciate that
” …In Sahaja Yoga that’s how it is. We want to give love and men have to appreciate that love, and this joy whether you are a brother or a husband or a son – anyway, the woman’s love is for you. And she gives you that love that makes you absolutely not only joyous, but also religious … “ […]

QUALITIES

I. YOU ARE THE HEAD The man has to be the head 
” …Ultimately you have to become the Spirit, which is in the heart. Which the brain, you know, takes. And that’s why the man has to be the head. He has to go out, he has to work, he has to deal with people, he’s an extrovert as you call it… ”
980 THE VALUE OF MARRIAGE, UK
II. PROTECTION
The man has to protect,   […]

ABOUT MEN

In Shri Mataji compared the qualities of men with those of Shri Rama who is a very noble and virtuous character. He is the ideal son, brother, husband, father and king. He assumes his responsibilities in a disciplined, dignified and loving way. 
Likewise the qualities of a man are more of the right side. He is extrovert, has to work and deal with people with honesty, humility and high moral values. 
A man is the head and his role is to protect, […]

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Women are women, and men are men
” … To have the best connection is to have pure relationships, and it should be discretionary. Mother is a mother, father is a father, sister is a sister, brother is a brother, all these are different, various types of relationships should be understood. Women must understand they are women and men must understand they are men.
Also, relationship to yourself is very important. Women should not try to be men – […]

KEEPING THE BALANCE

This balance has been created long time back ” … So a very long time back. Say, even when Radha Krishna existed, Radha was the power and Krishna was the one who was expressing. This is the potential and the kinetic. And people only know about Krishna, but Radha was the power. When He had to kill Kamsa, He had to ask Radha to do it. It was She who did everything, She had to dance and He pressed Her feet. […]

BALANCE IN THE UNIVERSE

Before creation, when nothing existed, God was   One and undifferentiated. In the beginning there was Brahma, whom Shri Mataji has described as a formless energy. This energy dwells in itself : desiring, organizing, loving. Slowly, the desire to create arose within this energy. When this desire grew, a nucleus was formed. This nucleus is called Sadashiva – God Almighty. It has an aura around itself which is the Power of God – the Adi Shakti. Shri Mataji said that this desire to create was then transferred to the Adi Shakti, […]

NOTES

This compilation includes many themes which are repeated in the lectures of Shri Mataji. These have been classified
according to the subject they touch upon.
At the beginning of the sections, a few comments written in italics are given to introduce the subject. These are researchers notes and not from Shri Mataji.
All content between ” … ” are quotes from Shri Mataji’s talks. The titles in the beginning are in bold to give you a quick overview of the subject. […]

Acknowledgements

After having published the book called “Raising Children in Sahaja Yoga”, the idea spontaneously came to compile a similar book on the role of men and women in Sahaja Yoga.
As we began listening to Shri Mataji’s speeches, we realized the breadth of the subject – one book soon became two. The first book is about the roles and qualities of men and women, as well as the brother- sister relationship. The second book concerns different aspects of married life. […]

Introduction

Her  Holiness  Shri Mataji  Nirmala Devi has  on many occasions described and given advice about the many roles men and women fulfill in their lives.
This book attempts to make this knowledge available. It contains excerpts from talks of H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi relevant to the role and relationships of men and women in Sahaja Yoga. Many themes are reoccuring-these have been classified according to the subject they touch upon.
This compilation can of course in no way replace the talks of Shri Mataji in their entirety. […]

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated with deepest love and respect to H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, who is the source of all the knowledge which it contains.
Shri Mataji has inspired many men and women with Her own life. She has led an extraordinary life which is the expression of our most beautiful dreams.
Shri Mataji has been a role model as a child, as a young woman, a woman, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother, […]