GRANDCHILDREN

” … So it is important for Sahaja Yogis to understand that they will first of all look after their children, give them whatever they need, nourish them, give them guidance, don’t spoil them, and secondly, once they are married and have children, they will not try to possess them, and possess their children, their wives
(1990 DIWALI PUJA)
The grandparents can spoil them, not you :
” .. . No, you have to be extremely strict with your children when they are growing up. […]

FROM 16 YEARS ONWARD

After the age of 16 years, they are to be treated just like your friends.
About chastity :
” …Purify your mind today on that point, that everybody else is my brother or sister. If you are married it’s all right. But look at everyone, try to look at everyone as a brother, as a sister. Both relationships don’t exist (here). This is a funny country where there is no relationship which is pure. It’s such a filth I tell you, […]

FROM 12-16 YEARS

” . .. At 12 years old it is important to give them what they need and all the love they want .. . ”
Give them all security :
” … At 12 years of age, you see, the sternum bone still is releasing the antibodies and, it is important at this time to give them all the securities that they need and all the love they want … ”
(1985 CHILDREN AND OTHER TOPICS, […]

FROM 6-12 YEARS

” . . . By 6 years, they become independent children, but respect should be kept. Then they take to their education … ”
(1986 ADVICE ON CHILDREN, VIENNA)
The child should never be corrected in the presence of others (see general advice).
” … Till the age of 10 years, you should teach them .. . ”
” .. . Till the age of 12 years they must be properly brought up; not too much of love, […]

FROM 2-6 YEARS

PHYSICAL CARE :
Massage the children until they are 6 years old :
Put oil in the nose and ears. Put oil in the hair at night.
If the child is overactive, use sahaj techniques and put ice onto his liver.
Put vibrated water in their drinks and use vibrated sugar.
Brush their teeth :
Rub the gums with your finger (with a drop of olive oil and a little bit of salt if you want). […]

FROM 0-2 YEARS

GENERALADVICE
Most impressionable :
” … The most important time is when children are born because they are the most impressionable . . . ”
(1986 ADVICE ON CHILDREN, VIENNA)
” . . . For 3 months after the birth, you should look after them very carefully … ”
First forty days inside :
The baby should stay the first forty days inside if possible. (1986 ADVICE ON CHILDREN, VIENNA)
“… At a small age, others than parents should not touch the child, […]

PREGNANCY

Special blessings of God :
“…And tremendous things happen when a woman conceives a realized soul. But even a non-realized soul: when a mother conceives her face just starts glowing. You can see she’s creating something. It’s the special blessings of God which come on her … ”
(1980 THE MOTHER)
After marriage, don’t hurry up to have children :
“…Think it over properly and then have children. When you have a proper place to live in, […]

ADVICE ACCORDING TO AGE

One of the challenges we face as parents is to constantly adapt our attitude towards children as they grow older. Shri Mataji has also given us much specific advice on how to deal with these changes, how to change our relationship with our children according to their age. Many practical suggestions are included for each specific age group. […]

PRACTICAL CARE

hri Mataji has given much practical advice on raising children. Here are some guidelines which can be applied to most ages. In the next chapter they will concern specific ages.
SLEEP
No more than 10 hours :
” … Children (not babies) should not sleep more than 10 hours …”
Also their sleeping times I think are rather early, …
“… you make them sleep, so if they sleep very early you must get them up early also. […]

TEACHINGS

This chapter is about some basic things we should teach our children to become dignified human being and yogis. This includes advice on teaching them how to behave and how to talk. Also the importance of talking to them and taking time for them has often been emphasized by Shri Mataji.
TEACH THEM HOW TO BEHAVE
” … Now if they do anything wrong, you must tell them it is wrong. You’re his parent, as a parent you must tell him this is wrong. […]

VIBRATIONS

Here follows recommendations for taking care of children’s vibrations as well as some specific treatments against strong negativity. Of course most common treatments in Sahaja Yoga are applicable for children as well.
HOW TO KEEP THEIR VIBRATIONS
Meditate early :
Shri Mataji has recommended that the children should meditate with us in the early morning from the age of being young babies.
(1983 ADVICE GIVEN TO MOTHERS)
Know about their vibrations :
” … There are so many other things one has to know about children, […]

COLLECTIVE CARE

With regards to the problem of attachment, Shri Mataji has often emphasized the fact that raising children should be done on a collective basis. This does not necessarily mean that one has to live in an ashram or send the child to Sahaj schools. Rather it implies that parents should allow others and the sahaj collectivity to also take care of their children and to correct them.
The collective should have a common view on a child ‘s upbringing and discuss how to improve the children. […]

ATTACHMENT

One of the basic principles to keep the Mooladhara of children in a good state, is to allow them to be in contact with many people other than the parents, from very early childhood. In the West parents often keep their children to themselves, perhaps for fear of loosing them later. This spoils the children and develops their ego. One has to love them but detach from them, trust them to others, allow them to grow up in the security of the collectivity. […]

SPOILING

In this chapter the attention goes to the dangers of spoiling children whether by giving too much attention and love, or by being too strict, or by loving only your own child. Spoiling with money and materialistic ideas is also a risk.
NOT TOO MUCH LOVE AND NOT TOO STRICT
Move with the instruction of spirit :
“… We should not love them in a way that they don’t respect you or they don’t listen to you and they should not think that they can convince you and justify themselves. […]

FAITH

FAITH
” … So, the ego-oriented societies lose their faith, that’s the way it happens you see. What is a very important thing is faith. They have no faith in their own parents. Now on whom will you have faith? You don’t have faith in your own children, then in whom will you have your faith? That’s a vicious circle we have made. First the parents had no faith in their children, so the children have no faith in the parents. […]

DISCIPLINE

Shri Mataji has often given advice on the necessity to discipline children and on how to do it: with love, dignity and respect.
 IT IS NECESSARY TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN
” … Sahaja Yoga children have to be extremely well disciplined…”
(I980 MARRIAGE AND COLLECTIVITY, CHELSHAM ROAD)
The children should be handled very carefully and with love :
” … My eternal love flows towards you all and I keep on telling you things and making you understand but you have not got hurt neither you got spoiled. […]

THE IMPORTANCE OF PARENTS’ BEHAVIOR

Shri Mataji has in many occasions talked about the fact that the way parents behave in the family has a big influence on children. Children follow the example of their parents, and parents need to give a proper place to children in their life.
Shri Mataji has also often said that parents should not fight in front of the children. They should behave in a decent way and give security to the children.
CHILDREN FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF THE PARENTS
Children learn from the behaviour of the parents:
[…]

GENERAL ADVICE ON CHILDCARE

This section contains the advice Shri Mataji has given on raising children. She has often told us the importance of correct behavior in parents and the need to give discipline in a balanced manner.
Shri Mataji spoke on subtle ways to correct children, the danger of spoiling or getting too attached to them.
She has emphasized the value of collective care for strengthening the Mooladhara of children. She has told us how to look after their vibrations, […]

THE NEED FOR GOOD UPBRINGING

With a good upbringing children become extremely beautiful:
” . . . But as children if they have an influence, very beautiful influence of proper family life, proper school life, proper guidance, proper love and help in every wayin their growth, then children become extremely, extremely good, beautiful. And I bless all the Sahaja Yogis to have children of that nature, and to look after your children. That’s very important, because they are tomorrow’s Sahaja Yogis and they should be a better quality, […]

MOTHERHOOD IS THE GREATEST THING

“Motherhood is the highest thing …
… I tell you the race, any race which does not have superior mothers cannot exist, cannot exist. Any country which doesn’t have mothers of a great quality cannot exist. It will perish no doubt about it. The mothers have to look after the preservation, not only of their own children, but of the whole race, of the whole nation. It is a very important thing.
Wherever the mothers have failed, […]

CHILDREN, THE REFLECTION OF SHRI GANESHA

Shri Ganesha shines through them very clearly :
” . . . We should have to learn so much from the children, how innocent they are, how simple they are. They are very generous, and children will give away everything that they have, everything. They don’t understand possession of things, just imagine! If somebody likes something, “All right, have it!” And they’ll keep something for a person who likes something, you know. They are wonderful people, […]

THE IMPORTANCE OF PROPER UPBRINGING

When somebody finds a treasure and sees the beauty and value of it, he does everything to keep it safe. In the same way when we see the beauty of children and realise the greatness of motherhood and parenthood, we will give importance and time to the care of children and put all our love to raise them.
In the next pages are quotes from Shri Mataji describing the beauty of children, the greatness of motherhood and the need of a good upbringing for our children. […]

Acknowledgements

The idea for this book arose from the desire to provide access to valuable material Shri Mataji has offered us on the subject of raising children. The original intention was to create this for Sahaj Yuvas, many of whom already have, or are reaching the age, of becoming parents themselves.
As we began compiling material, we discovered so much knowledge which we had not known (or forgotten). The book has proved helpful to us in our continued efforts in raising our own children as well as treating all Sahaj children with the dignity and respect Shri Mataji has shown us. […]

Introduction

Her Holiness Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi has offered much advice on raising and educating children. This book is an attempt to make this knowledge easily accessable. It contains excerpts from talks of Shri Mataji relevant to the subject of raising and educating children in Sahaja Yoga.
Many themes are repeated in the lectures of Shri Mataji. These have been classified according to the subject they touch upon such as discipline, motherhood, physical care, etc.
At the beginning of several chapters, […]

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated with deepest love and respect to H.H. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, who is the source of all the knowledge which it contains.
Her love for children, Her patience with parents and Her compassion for humanity will always be an example for the present and future generations.
JAI SHRI MATAJI […]