Halloween is a very bad idea
In 1981, some of us London Sahaja Yogis were with Shri Mataji at Warwick Road ashram, another of the Sahaja Housing Coop properties in the Earls Court area, and it was the evening of Halloween, the 31st October. Celebrating Halloween is a very bad idea. Traditionally, it is the evening before the day of All Saints, the 1st of November, and is the evening, or ‘e’en’ all the ‘hallows’ or ghosts traditionally fly, but Halloween parties, when people dress up as ghosts and witches and so on, are not auspicious.
It was early evening: Mother had a candle and was putting the flying bhuts into the candle, although all we could see was black smoke coming out of it. Within minutes it was black and burnt down. It was a big fat candle, about two inches in diameter and six inches high. She called for another one and another, each as big, and again and again the black smoke stained the candle black and it burnt down in a fraction of the time that a candle does normally as Shri Mataji cleansed the area.
Diary extract: the first programme in Rome, November 1981
One representative of each of the European countries then in Sahaja Yoga – Switzerland, France and Germany, was at the station to welcome Shri Mataji.
The first evening the programme took place in the back room of a library. There was a crowd as far as the street, lots of young people from twenty to thirty-five years old. A large number got their realisation. Shri Mataji’s speech was full of subtleties and finesse to introduce Sahaja Yoga to these Romans. Later in an Italian restaurant I was feeling a sore throat coming on, I looked at Shri Mataji, so incredibly beautiful, and a big gush of love rose in me. In the evening She asked us to come and sleep on the floor around Her bed, but I did not want to inconvenience Her and the others with my sore throat.
‘You too, I’ll cure you!’ She said.
The next day the pain in my throat had gone. Later we had an amazing puja dedicated to Shri Mahalakshmi at Ruth’s place. We said the qualities to the Virgin Mary in Latin, and the vibrations came so cool. We clad Shri Mataji in a beautiful royal blue sari, the colour of Mother Mary’s cloak. For me there was total joy and doubtless awareness: the circle was fastened, the Catholic conditionings were losing their grip. A little while before, sitting next to Shri Mataji, She had asked me to put my hand on Her left Vishuddhi and She worked on me.
‘Oh, Shri Mataji, You are so perfect,’ I said.
‘It is the higher self of all of you who called Me to this earth,’ She laughed and said to us. After the puja She touched my Agnya chakra, I was in total thoughtless awareness.
‘Look at her dilated eyes!’ Shri Mataji said to the others.
I was in total bliss.
I wanted to say ‘Mother’
I met Shri Mataji in Rome in the autumn of 1981 when I was thirty years old. Gregoire and Catherine de Kalbermatten had given me realisation in early August. Catherine was busy with her baby so Gregoire and I organized programmes for Shri Mataji, who came in November. She had accepted to give four public programmes in Rome.
At last, the big day arrived. I had never met Shri Mataji and there was a group of Swiss yogis who came for these programmes. We went to the airport to greet Shri Mataji and She arrived with the Australian lady, Kay McHugh. We were waiting at Arrivals and I had a little bouquet of flowers. At first, when Shri Mataji arrived, I did not realise it was Her because She was not tall, and had a coat over Her sari and a scarf. I did not expect to see Her like that, knowing Her from the photos. Shri Mataji immediately took me in Her arms.
‘My child,’ She said. I wanted to say, ‘Mother.’ I had this word ‘Mother’ in my throat, but I could not say it because I was just overwhelmed with emotion or joy. It was an extraordinary moment to at last meet Shri Mataji, and see Her. We drove back, Mother in the front with Gregoire and I was in the back with Kay and for the first time I heard Shri Mataji in Her human form, talking and chatting.
The same evening was the first programme, so all the yogis went first to do the introduction and I was to drive Shri Mataji there after a while. I drove Her to the programme, and I was alone with Her in my little car.
While Shri Mataji gave the talk, She demonstrated raising the Kundalini on me and showed the audience how it was happening. You can imagine with what strength I felt my Kundalini going up then! It was absolutely great and to translate for Shri Mataji was certainly a great moment. After the programme, we went to eat pizza with Shri Mataji in a Roman trattoria and they sat me next to Her. So the first day I met Shri Mataji, I had this extraordinary chance of being able to drive Her, translate for Her and then eat sitting next to Her.
So it went on for the next few days. There was a lot to do, and Gregoire gave the introductory talks. I would drive Shri Mataji for shopping or whatever and then I translated for Her; it was really a great, great week.
The day after I met Shri Mataji was a Sunday and She agreed that we should do a little puja to Shri Mahalakshmi. Shri Mataji said it would be a good idea to have the puja at my home, as I was going to stay in Rome, whereas Gregoire was going to leave a few months later, and we received that phone call at my place where I was, with about ten or fifteen Swiss yogis staying. We rushed to prepare the house: we put clean sheets on the bed and a set of clean red towels, but nothing was new and nothing was only for Shri Mataji.
She came and said She needed to have a bath before the puja, so we prepared the bathroom. It was all so exciting, and we arranged my lounge for a puja. There was a marvellous puja and She asked me to come and wash Her Feet. I had never washed Her Feet and at that time there were no videos of Shri Mataji, and I had no idea of how I was supposed to do it, so I started rubbing them.
‘Ruth, I have just had a bath,’ She told me. ‘My Feet are not dirty. You don’t need to clean them.’
You can imagine how embarrassed I felt, but it was beautiful anyway. That week was extremely intensive and was an amazing time for me, as I was so new in Sahaja Yoga.
Raising my Kundalini to give me strength
Gregoire de Kalbermatten was doing the introduction at a public programme in Rome in November 1981. We had been shopping with Shri Mataji and She went directly from shopping to the programme. I drove Her there, and before going on stage She wanted to refresh Herself, but nothing special was prepared for Her, so we went to the Ladies’ Room.
‘Oh, poor Ruth, you’re catching on Centre Heart,’ She said. ‘You’ve been running too much. I made you run too much.’
And there, with ladies coming and going, Shri Mataji raised my Kundalini and worked on me. Then Shri Mataji went on stage and started speaking, and I translated Her words into Italian. Because at that time we were so few, we were doing all different roles and going from one thing to another.
This was so amazing, Shri Mataji raising my Kundalini to give me the strength to be in shape to translate for Her.
Maybe I will see You in paradise
We were a little group of European yogis who accompanied Shri Mataji for the first programmes in Rome in 1981. We went out with Shri Mataji to see some basilicas that She wanted to visit. The first one was Santa Maria Maggiore, and as soon as we entered Mother was delighted with the marble floor displaying huge circles.
‘See,’ She said, ‘they are like chakras,’ and then looked to the left where there were some places where Catholic people confess their sins. ‘What are these wooden boxes for?’ Shri Mataji asked. We told Her, and She was amazed. ‘Really?’ She said.
We went to another basilica, San Pietro in Vincoli. This is the basilica where there is a magnificent statue of Moses by Michelangelo and Shri Mataji asked us to put our hands towards the statue, the vibrations were cool. She explained to the little party of Sahaja Yogis who were accompanying Her how the sculptor, who was a realised soul, had captured the aspect of the Guru in Moses, with his left hand on the Nabhi and his right hand directed towards the heart and the strong determination in his gaze.
‘Only one thing is inaccurate,’ She said, ‘he should have Egyptian chappals on his feet and not Roman ones.’
We crossed the whole nave of the church with Her until we reached the place where the holy bread is exposed, and there were some Italian women there, kneeling down and praying with their rosaries (sacred beads). Shri Mataji told us to move a little at the back; She was wearing a beige coat and a scarf around Her head.
‘Let them see My Kundalini,’ She told us, placing Herself right in between the altar and the women saying their ‘Ave Marias,’ (prayers to Mother Mary). Shri Mataji stood there for quite a while and then we all went back with Her towards the entrance. Behind us we heard somebody walking very fast, as if the person wanted to catch up with us.
‘Are you Catholic? Are you following Christ?’ the lady who had followed us asked Shri Mataji. She wanted to give us an image of Christ on the cross, with blood all over His face, and we were not inclined to take it, but Mother said to take it.
‘Yes and we are following this lady,’ Ruth who could speak Italian, answered, indicating Shri Mataji. The little group was nearly at the porch and we all stopped.
‘So you are like us. Do you believe that Jesus is really in the holy bread?’ the woman said to Mother.
‘If you really believe that He is there, then He is,’ Shri Mataji answered, and the lady seemed to be a bit troubled at this point.
‘Don’t feel guilty,’ Shri Mataji said to the woman, who was now facing Her. Ruth translated this into Italian.
‘It is not easy not to feel guilty after what had been done to Christ!’ the woman said. Shri Mataji told Ruth to ask the lady in Italian, what she thought of Her.
‘Una molto bona persona,’ the woman looked at Shri Mataji and said. This means: ‘A very good lady.’ By now she was very moved and we were all feeling very strong vibrations flowing in our hands, and the woman fell into Mother’s arms.
‘Maybe I will see You in paradise,’ she said.
Gregoire who was posted in Rome invited Shri Mataji and our little group for supper and there Shri Mataji again spoke about the Last Supper that Christ took with his disciples; She said that He had gathered them there to say good bye and as he was pure pranava (vibrations) when he shared the bread to give it to them it was full of His vibrations, thus when He said: This is my body, it was real as the bread touched by the Hands of Christ became vibrations….. Again that evening Shri Mataji shared the bread with us.
The closest representation of Christ
When Shri Mataji travelled to Rome in 1981 we visited different places with Her, and were lucky enough to go to the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican, including the chambers of Raphael. When we entered the Sistine Chapel, it was really something magnificent to see all the paintings of Michelangelo.
Mother told us that Michelangelo was a realised soul and how that was the most perfect painting and the closest representation of Christ. In that Last Judgment painting, we can see the Agnya chakra — because there is a shape, an oval shape like an egg, around Christ, and Mother Mary is next to Him.
Then Mother showed us how in the Last Judgment, all the people from the left side were going down to the hell and how people were raised up to be judged and saved. The people who were going down to hell were going down on the left side of Christ, according to the painting. She gave us all an explanation of the Last Judgment.
We stayed quite a while there and it was amazing to see that, in the presence of Shri Mataji Herself, giving us all these commentaries.
The strength and the power and the greatness
We went to see the statue of Moses by Michelangelo. In front of the statue there were three ladies, all with black clothes and they were all praying and they were kneeling on the wooden pew.
‘Let them face My Kundalini,’ said Shri Mataji. So Mother put Herself in front of these three ladies and then She was looking onto the Moses and also giving us an explanation.
‘Look how he put the hand on the Void,’ She said, ‘how the Right Nabhi, the right knee was not covered to show us the place of the Void and the Nabhi.’ Then She told us that the two horns on the head were representing the ego and superego. Mother enjoyed the strength and the power and the greatness which was coming out of this statue.
After, when we were going out of the church, one of the ladies who was praying behind Mother came running and wanted to talk to Shri Mataji, but she didn’t know how to start. The lady asked Shri Mataji who She was, if She was a spiritual person and whether She believed in the Virgin Mary. She was so emotional, so touched and she didn’t know what to say. Shri Mataji was listening quietly to her.
‘Yes, of course, I believe in all that you believe. Of course, I believe in the Virgin Mary,’ She said, ‘but you should not feel guilty.’
‘Oh, how do you know it?’ asked the lady. Then Shri Mataji started to sit down. It was amazing because the lady just kneeled in front of Shri Mataji and was kissing Her hand. It was such a great experience because when we, the yogis who were around, saw these three ladies praying like this, we were laughing a bit inside and saying, ‘Oh, look at this lady there, praying like this,’ as if it were a bit unnecessary.
Shri Mataji wanted to show us how these ladies, even if they were praying that way, had the sensitivity to recognise Her and knew that there was something special about Her. With their hearts, they showed their devotion and their receptivity to the spiritual power of Shri Mataji. It showed us that we have to respect people who pray to God in their own way because, if they are sincere, it is a reality for them.
Then Shri Mataji told the lady to come to the programme. It was a very touching and moving moment and I think Shri Mataji just wanted to give us that lesson, that we have to also respect people who believe in a sincere way with the heart because God is close to all of them.
I am Mother God
When Shri Mataji came to Rome in November 1981, She stayed at Grégoire and Catherine’s place. After two big and very successful public programmes took place, one day we went to visit Florence. We went to see the museum where Michelangelo’s statue of David is housed.
‘It is the representation of Luv or Kush,’ She commented when leaving.
We also went to the Uffizi Gallery, where Shri Mataji gave us Her comments on each painting. When leaving, I was holding Gregoire’s older son in my arms and She smiled and asked me whether I was his godmother. I answered that Marie-Laure was his godmother and that I was the godmother of Gregoire’s other son.
‘You are the godmother, and I am Mother God!’ She smiled again and answered.
Marie-Amelia de Kalbermatten
Editor’s note: for Christians, a godmother is a sort of honorary mother who is present when the child is given its name at the religious ceremony in the church.
The Holy Spirit arrived
Shri Mataji’s journey to Italy began in Rome. We saw some sights of the city with Her. In a church we saw Michelangelo’s statue of Moses, a massive figure of one of the ten primordial masters – Adi Gurus. Shri Mataji taught us that the incarnations of the Adi Guru are expressions of the principles in our Nabhi Chakra – dharma-peace-justice-generosity-seeking and our own inner mastery. The Nabhi Chakra has its place not only around our navel, but also at the knees and elbows and around the crown at the back of the head. Shri Mataji pointed out how the great, realised artist had depicted Moses: he wears a toga which surrounds his whole body, and the naked knee can be seen with the toga swirling about it. The long beard ends in a big curl, winding itself around the Nabhi and beneath it his hand points to the Nabhi Chakra.
We left Rome early in the morning of the next day and went to Florence in several cars, and it was raining heavily. Shri Mataji came out of the door, umbrellas were opened to bring Her to the car and it suddenly stopped raining. Shortly after it again began to rain heavily and continued for the whole journey. Finally, when the convoy stopped at the side of the road near Florence, the sun came out. On a nearby street lamp two white doves were cleaning their feathers with the sun rays falling on them. The Holy Spirit had arrived.
At the Uffizi Gallery in Florence this special guided art tour continued. Shri Mataji drew our attention to the faces depicted on certain paintings and to the good vibrations of certain artists. In Florence, too, we went to a church. In a corner some women were praying and selling pictures of Jesus with His head drenched in blood and wearing a crown of thorns. This was not at all like the glorious picture of Christ Shri Mataji had given us and showed the deep feelings of guilt a certain belief system has implanted into the hearts of the believers. We stopped near one of these ladies, who was interested in Shri Mataji. An Italian yogi exchanged some words with her.
‘What do you think about Me?’ Shri Mataji asked.
‘Oh, she’s a beautiful lady,’ the woman said, but her eyes and vibrations spoke for themselves.
Back at the piazza, for some of us the time to say good-bye had come. This was the only time Shri Mataji kissed me on the cheek like an Italian mama.
The teacher of all the teachers
We went to see the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, in Italy in 1981. It is one of the most famous picture galleries in the world, where especially you have Italian paintings. At that time, we were a group of people from Italy and Switzerland. There was a lady who was a teacher of the history of art, so she started to explain to Shri Mataji about the pictures, but she couldn’t say more than the name of the painter, the year he painted, the title of the painting. Everyone could have read that themselves.
‘Look at this colour, how it makes contrast with the other one,’ said Shri Mataji, after she had finished. ‘Look at this line, how it separates the painting in two parts. Look how the light puts the attention on this central part.’
In fact, Shri Mataji was Herself giving us all a course of history of art and of painting. It was just so beautifully done and it was again a subtle teaching to the so-called teacher because Mother is the teacher of all the teachers.
Taking us back two thousand years
We discovered Botticelli when Mother told us that he was a realised soul. We discovered the Primavera and The Birth of Venus. At one of the paintings, it was amazing because Shri Mataji came close to the painting.
‘Why did they paint Joseph like this?’ She said. ‘He was not at all old. Why do they paint him so old?’
It was like taking us back two thousand years and realising that Mother knew Joseph and how he was. She was just there, like Shri Mary. She said that he was such a gentle and sweet husband and he did not look at all like that. We were quite stunned at that moment.
Have you given a bandhan?
It was the first time Shri Mataji came to Rome, for a series of programmes in November 1981. I had taken a holiday from work and went to London for a series of weddings, and Shri Mataji was going to see the yogis at these weddings. Shri Mataji had nobody to travel with Her and I said, if Shri Mataji accepts it, I would with great pleasure travel with Her, and She had accepted.
So there we were at the airport. I had met Shri Mataji for the first time only about five or six days before, when She had arrived in Rome. She had done some shopping and there was a lot of hand luggage. I had taken an Economy Class plane ticket and Shri Mataji had Her Business Class plane ticket. We arrived at the gate and the flight attendants started shouting at Shri Mataji because She had too much hand luggage. I was a bit panicky, but Shri Mataji said She was thirsty, so I went to fetch Her a cup of tea, in a plastic goblet. I gave a bandhan for this situation to solve itself because I was worried about all this hand luggage, consisting of porcelain cups and saucers and so on.
When I came back, I could not believe it. Before this, the airline attendants had been so aggressive with Shri Mataji but now I saw that they were being so kind to Her. Shri Mataji explained that they said they would accompany us to the airplane from the gate. They carried our hand luggage and they even upgraded me to Business Class so I could sit next to Shri Mataji. I was absolutely stunned and Shri Mataji laughed.
‘Well, Ruth, have you given a bandhan then for the situation to change?’ She said.
‘Yes,’ I said.
I knew that it was not my bandhan that had done it, but Shri Mataji. It was just so amazing to see these people change their attitudes so much.
Shri Mataji sent me to look for you
When Shri Mataji and I arrived in London from Rome in November 1981, Sir CP was waiting for Her with the official United Nations car and the driver. So Shri Mataji had me sit in the front seat, next to the driver and She was sitting next to Sir CP and they were discussing the construction of the house of Brompton Square.
At that time, Shri Mataji and Sir CP were staying at a hotel with the Sahaja Yogis in Earls Court, while Brompton Square was being rebuilt. We arrived there and Shri Mataji took me downstairs, where She was staying in rooms with windows way up, which only gave a little bit of light, because the rooms were almost underground. She opened Her suitcases and started chatting with me and I felt very shy.
‘Come, let’s go upstairs. We’ll meet the yogis,’ She said, and She went into this lounge, which was not decorated at all. Shri Mataji sat and told the yogis who were there about Her trip in Rome and the programmes.
After a while, I needed to go and freshen up after the long travel, so I got up discretely. After a little while I heard somebody knocking and saying, ‘Ruth, are you there? Because Shri Mataji sent me to look for you. She did not know where you went.’
It came off like butter
There was some wallpaper on the ceiling in the dining room and it wouldn’t come down. Shri Mataji decided She didn’t want it because the person who put it up had such a caught up right side. She’d changed Her mind.
‘No, we won’t have the wallpaper on the ceiling. We’re going to have mirrors,’ Shri Mataji said. She had us take the wallpaper off and it would not come off. We were soaking and soaking, and still it wouldn’t come off. ‘How’s it going?’ She said when She came down to see us.
‘Oh, it won’t come off, Mother,’ I replied.
‘Well, just give this person a bandhan,’ She laughed. We did as She asked and the next minute the wallpaper just came off like butter. It just fell off.
I am reminded of a precious moment from the Brompton Square days when Shri Mataji had glanced at Her reflection in one of the many, many mirrors in the house.
‘You see, I need all these mirrors to help Me remind Myself who I am – that I am in this form,’ She explained.
Gilding the roses
I remember standing outside the Brompton Square house waiting tentatively for the door to open … imagining the deities scrutinising each new arrival. I can remember anticipating the rush of vibrations – and that heavenly fragrance. If Shri Mataji’s bedroom door was ajar the sound of Her voice, and Her laughter, coming from the depths of the house, would give hope of Her darshan.
One day I was a bit anxious about the state of my chakras, after a crowded and hot London tube journey. My vibrational sensitivity had suddenly increased on arrival and each catch was now glaringly evident. I wasn’t ready to be under that divine magnifying glass and I was hoping for a little job in the background to allow for acclimatisation. Instead, I was given a pot of gold paint, a little brush and a ladder and told that Shri Mataji wanted me to paint some of the roses on Her bedroom wall.
There She was seated on the sofa, the Goddess Herself ! Black hair tumbling elegantly over Her shoulders, Her lotus Feet stretched out in front of Her, it was as if She had nothing else in the world to do other than survey my amateurish work. Not only was I standing high up on a ladder, I also had to have my back to Her to do the painting. I couldn’t have felt more exposed. And in Her own gracious way She put me at ease by chatting about this and that. Shri Mataji spoke of books I’d just happened to have read; and asked me what I’d studied that week at school. Any naive comments from me were met with an exclamation: ‘Really?!!’ and Her eyes became big with astonishment – as if I’d uttered a unique gem.
Following this soothing conversation came a companionable silence and the job was done to Her satisfaction. All the while I could feel the kindness pouring from Her eyes, onto me and into me, warming me like sunlight; every little fear of being ‘caught up’ melting away.
On another occasion I was working at Brompton Square, and thought, worried, that Sahaja Yoga was not working out in the world, and at that moment Shri Mataji read my mind and took the scraper I was using.
‘You have to have patience,’ She said a few times.
After a few moments I realised what She meant, and carried on with my work with renewed vigour and a more peaceful mind. However, the wallpaper was not coming off easily. As Shri Mataji was doing Her rounds at that time She asked us what the problem was. When we told Her, She asked us to bring the container with the water we were using, then She vibrated it. After that the wallpaper came off very easily. We later discovered the problem was because the Sahaja Yogi who had put it up was very right sided and his vibrations made the paper hard to remove.
One day down in the basement dining room of Brompton Square in the early 1980`s there was a small gathering of Sahaja Yogis listening to Shri Mataji. Caleb and Danya`s father asked Her two questions.
One was why did Christ have the crown of thorns placed around His head and the other was why did He allow Himself to be baptised in the river. The first answer was that the negative forces wanted to excite his Ekadesha Rudra so that He would get angry and destroy the creation, because he was Shri Ganesha. The second answer was that the baptism was to satisfy the ego of John the Baptist.
Shri Krishna was pleased
When I was living in the hotel at Bramham Gardens and going to work in Brompton Square I used to stop at the flower shop and get some flowers on the way. When I arrived at the house Shri Mataji would hold up Her fingers with the centres I was catching on, then I would proceed to the front of the house and give myself a good shoebeat. After a while less and less fingers would go up until no fingers would go up. Eventually Shri Mataji said Lord Krishna was pleased with me so I thought, how can I thank Him?
I remembered He liked butter so I went and bought some butter and prepared myself like I was going to do a puja. I sliced off a small piece of butter and let it slide down the back of my throat after saying to Shri Krishna, ‘I don’t know anything about how to please You but this is an offering to You from me.’ All off a sudden my Vishuddhi chakra opened up wider than my throat and my whole mouth went cool. I then thanked Shri Krishna.
Shri Mataji was much beyond this human body
Shri Mataji once told me I could go and see Her whenever I had free time, at Brompton Square, so for about five years I would go once or twice a week, on my days off. She asked me to do many small things. On one occasion She asked me to get a hand lotion for Her hands, and told me to put it in Her room. Anything She would ask me to do I would do, because I saw Her as the Mother of the universe, the doer of everything.
Sometimes She would appear to me to be like an ordinary Indian lady, very compassionate and happy to see me, and then another form, which I felt in my subtle system, was that She can see through me, and see through the whole universe. Shri Mataji was still an Indian lady but She was much beyond this human body. The third form was when She is the Mother of the whole universe, the Mother of God, it is She who came, for the first time, in full complete form.
One time at Brompton Square, I was doing gold painting in Her bedroom, along with one or two other Sahaja Yogis. She asked me to go and sit near Her. She said She wanted to see my past and future, and wanted to work on that. She went deep asleep for about two hours. I sat in front of Her for about an hour and then went back to work. After that Shri Mataji called me back and said that She had done the job.
One day She asked me to clean Her bathroom, because the wallpaper and furnishing and everything was finished. I said I wanted to clean it really properly but that it might take a little more time, and She said that was alright. When Shri Mataji looked at the job, after about two or three hours, She said that I had done the cleaning the way She did the cleaning of the people’s inner selves.
Enough wallpaper to finish the job
The yogis were decorating the basement of the house at Brompton Square and had bought this really nice wallpaper from Harrods. While putting it up they ran out of paper and tried to go back to Harrods to ask for some more. However Harrods were out of stock and couldn’t order any.
Mother was consulted after coming back from Harrods. She told them to check the storage area. After searching the whole storage area, taking everything out so they could get to the back, they found three rolls of the exact same wallpaper, enough to finish the job.
Do it with all your love
Shri Mataji was at the bottom of the stairs of the ground floor at Brompton Square, with Sahaja Yogi’s gathered around Her. She was holding a paint brush in Her hand and was painting a piece of wood.
‘In whatever you do, do it with all your love, attention and understanding,’ Mother said as She was doing this.
Shri Mataji must have felt my fear
When I was working in Shri Mataji’s house at Brompton Square on renovations, somebody had put me to papering a ceiling over a staircase well. They left me there on a little plank over the well. I was too shy to say that I was terrified of heights. All of a sudden the plank wobbled and I felt a sudden fright in my heart, but didn’t say anything out loud.
Shri Mataji was right at the other side of the house and in the over twenty years I have known Her, I have never seen Her run, before or since. But She ran into the room and told me to get down immediately. She must have felt that fear in my heart.
‘Is that Calvary and Golgotha
Becoming a building of pity and compassion?’
There was a woman and her brother and they brought a sixteen year old boy who had blood cancer to Shri Mataji’s house in Brompton Square. I was working in the same room as where Shri Mataji was working on this boy. He was so weak, he couldn’t even sit up. She had him lying down. She called me over to work on him as well.
‘What do you feel?’ She said to me. There was incredible heat and Shri Mataji put Her Feet on his Nabhi, worked on him with Her Feet. I was feeling it all and after twenty minutes or so, it was just blowing cool. I saw and felt Shri Mataji cure this boy of cancer. That was a tremendous experience, a wonderful thing to actually be there and feel and experience on the vibrations Shri Mataji cure the boy.
After being almost carried in, he walked out, full of energy. It was incredible.
Helping Shri Mataji tidy Her saris
This either took place at Brompton Square or Bramham Gardens. I was in Her bedroom together with another Sahaja Yogini. The yogini that was with me had another task to see to and she left the room. Shri Mataji also had to leave the room; but She said She had to speak to the deities to explain to them that I had Her permission to be alone in Her room. Shri Mataji turned Her back to me, and I could hear She was speaking to the deities – very quietly – but not in English, the moment She left the room.
I was left alone in the room; I sat down facing Her shoes that were at the foot of Her open wardrobe with many saris hanging in it. The fragrance in the room, the vibrations, and the deep, deep silence, was an experience beyond words; there was no body and no mind! Shri Mataji walked back into the room.
Shri Mataji said, ‘You’re enjoying, Ann,’ and laughed.
An offering for the ganas
One day in Brompton Square I was passing the kitchen and Shri Mataji was there as I walked by. Then a thought came into my head that it would be nice to have a meal cooked by Her, and spontaneously, to my surprise, She called me, gave me some money and sent me to the Midnight Shop to buy some butter and lots of onions – from memory there may have been chicken in the meal also but that was already there.
When She had cooked the meal She started to pour the rice, which now had butter in it, into a glass bowl, but some spilled onto the counter. When I tried to clear up the spilt rice She told me to stop, because that was an offering to the ganas who were jealous of me, because She had cooked a meal. This made me very worried, but it was all right because the rice had pacified them. Shri Mataji then had all the Sahaja Yogis come to the dining room served the meal. It was absolutely delicious.
‘Thank You Mother,’ everybody started saying.
‘Don’t thank Me, thank Fergy,’ She said.
I wanted to hide under the table and pull my ears. So now anytime I cook or chop or serve food and something jumps away from the main part of the meal I treat that as an offering and offer it to the ganas.
David was a realised soul
While at Brompton Square in December 1981, Shri Mataji remarked that David, the king in the Old Testament, was a realised soul. The story of Noah’s Ark was the story of Lord Vishnu’s fish incarnation, She said.
You are all so lucky you have Me
One cold, snowy evening, we sat at Brompton Square with Shri Mataji (in a room without a roof!) and watched the first video taken of Shri Mataji giving a talk, it must have been about 1981.
‘She speaks with such sincerity! What a sincere, genuine person! You are all so lucky. You have Me. I do not have anyone like this to be with in that way,’ Shri Mataji said of the video afterwards.
One day Shri Mataji was preparing for a trip to India, and was packing Her saris in Her suitcase. As usual, the room was filled with Sahaja Yogis. That day I had been rushing around from place to place, and with many misgivings, entered Her room knowing that my chakras were very caught up. After sitting for a few moments, an overwhelming wave of Her serenity and stillness swept over me, soothing, calming my agitation. I felt all my inner tensions unknotting one by one, my chakras clearing, my mind and heart becoming tranquil. It was an experience of immense, indescribable comfort, of being in heaven, of being enveloped in the tidal wave of Her love.
‘A building of pity and compassion’
In the winter of 1981, Shri Mataji moved to 48, Brompton Square, Knightsbridge. She and Sir CP lived there for a few years. When Shri Mataji bought the house in Brompton Square, She invited all the Sahaja Yogis to come and work there. Shri Mataji oversaw all the building works in every detail, and revealed to us Her boundless knowledge of all things, including building construction! She instructed that the house was to be stripped back to its skeleton. Every single layer – and there were so many – of wall paper was scraped away – everything was stripped back to its basic structure. A skeleton was left, often without a roof in places. And we knew that as we worked, Shri Mataji was stripping away all our layers of conditioning and negativity.
Shri Mataji gave a gift to every person in the collective
In 1981 Shri Mataji stayed in London for Christmas. It snowed on Christmas Eve and Mother said it was because Kevin Anslow, Pat’s son, wanted a white Christmas.
Shri Mataji had a whole shipment of gifts for all of us, a couple of crates. She brought them to Chelsham Road and had us unpack them in the meditation room and there was packing material all over the floor. Out of the crates came loads of ceramic animals and other objects. We had to lay them all out and then Shri Mataji assigned one to each of the people in the collective. Mother was amazing in the way She remembered all the names of the people in the collective, and there were quite a few of us by then. She gave each of those people a gift for Christmas when She came on Christmas Day, after the puja.
The Comforter promised by Christ
In 1981 Shri Mataji stayed in London for Christmas. On Christmas Day we had a puja and Mother came. At the end of the puja the leader stood in front of Her.
‘Mother, You are the Comforter,’ he said.
‘That I am.’ She answered.
‘Mother, You are the Counsellor,’ he continued.
‘That I am,’ She answered.
‘Mother you are the Redeemer,’ he said finally.
‘That I am,’ She replied.
In the Bible Christ promised to send the Comforter, the Counsellor and the Redeemer.
Bloodshed was avoided
When I first came to Sahaja Yoga, Shri Mataji was very pleased that I came from behind the iron curtain. I had an experience of Kundalini rising in Poland around the time when Shri Mataji visited my country and the pope performed a morning mass to the Virgin Mary in Mother’s and Sir CP Srivastava’s presence. Since that day, everything started to work for me to make it possible to come to England to get my full Realisation from Shri Mataji.
In 1981, the political situation in Poland was very tense because of the Solidarity uprising. Shri Mataji called me to do Christmas Puja at Chelsham Road, and was very concerned about Poland. Shri Mataji asked me to pray for peace in Poland during the puja and said that there should be no bloodshed.
The next week, I heard that martial law was declared by General Jaruzelski, who was then the head of state. I did not know what to think, as it was such a controversial decision to make. I found out later on that had Jaruzelski not declared the martial law, the Russian tanks, already waiting for an order to go in, would have invaded the country and there would have been a terrible bloodshed, followed by occupation of Poland by the Russians troops. But because of the martial law, the bloodshed was avoided.