Please do anything
After the momentous few days of meeting Shri Mataji I returned to Scotland to a veritable ocean of problems, and gloom set it. Shri Mataji phoned me and I told Her that I felt I was too far gone, and that She could not save me. She told me that if I did not face myself then it would be ten thousand years before I had another chance.
‘Please do anything – anything at all, to put me right,’ I replied.
Shri Mataji told me to go and live in London, so She could work on me and help me.
‘You must always do one thing – just trust Me,’ She said.
Before that there were some wonderful happenings in store in Scotland.
Shri Mataji decided to have a seminar at Crosscraig, the house where I was living. The word Crosscraig or Croiscrag meant ‘place of the holy stone’. At that time it had dreadful vibrations because we had been involved with a dangerous false guru cult there. Before Shri Mataji came, She phoned me about some details, and told me only to charge the cost price, and never to make money out of Sahaja Yogis.
They were so damaged
From 1979 we started getting a steady stream of people from who had been badly damaged in their seeking. These people knew what they had done was a con, but didn’t know what to do about it. I remember seeing people being worked on, and it was the first time we saw Shri Mataji literally fighting and helping these people, who wanted to be cleared out. She fought with everything.
We used lemons and chillies, which we would bring with us. Shri Mataji had told us to do it and we had found it worked. People would go to Caxton Hall and be ready to give them to Mother to hand to people. The lemons would turn black as soon as She put them near a candle because the people were in such a state. She would use anything, even electric lights, if She didn’t have a flame. Shri Mataji worked night and day on these people.
About once a month we would hire the Great Hall in Caxton Hall, which really held a lot of people. We had a couple come from one false guru and they could see who Shri Mataji was, but their Agnyas were so damaged; Mother said they were short-circuiting completely. Then we had a lot of those people who wore a picture of their guru.
‘Why are you coming here when you have got a guru?’ we would ask. They would come, and want their realisation, and then would argue.
In the garden
There was a boy out in the garden, in Dollis Hill ashram. Shri Mataji was twirling Her finger, as if She had the Sudarshan chakra of Shri Krishna around Her finger, and She destroyed the negativity in him.
At one point this man had his eyes closed and Mother held an onion in front of his face.
‘Open your eyes,’ She said, and he did, and said something, and Shri Mataji nodded and said that the negativity didn’t like onions.
I can remember standing in Dollis Hill ashram whilst Shri Mataji selected people to go up to Crosscraig with Her in July 1979. A group of us travelled north by mini-bus, whilst others journeyed in a train with Shri Mataji. We broke our journey at Birkenhead in Liverpool, where Shri Mataji held a programme in a large apartment. During the train ride from London to Liverpool, Mother met and gave realisation to an American tourist. He came with us to the house in Birkenhead and then came on up to Crosscraig.
She was wearing the same sari as in my dream
Before I met Shri Mataji, my parents and I were going through a rough patch in our lives. I was five at the time. I had a dream that an Indian lady, who I later discovered was Shri Mataji, was standing at the prow of this barge and She was looking towards me. I was not in the barge.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll come and get you soon,’ She said with great love in Her eyes, in the dream. She was wearing a sari which had spots on it and I remembered it very clearly.
My parents went to meet Shri Mataji down in London. I didn’t go down because we were living in Scotland at the time. However, soon Mother came up to our house with a lot of Sahaja Yogis from London. My parents had come back before and told me that Shri Mataji was coming, and when She arrived, Her car pulled up and it was a Mercedes. I remember Her getting out of the car and She was wearing exactly the same sari as She had been wearing in the dream, so I knew exactly who She was.
I felt my heart open in waves
I travelled up with a friend from Glasgow and we arrived at the place where Shri Mataji was meeting people on a beautiful sunny summer’s afternoon. It was a small establishment, which was capable of accommodating a reasonable number of people.
In the evening, everybody congregated in a large room and Shri Mataji came and sat down at the front of the room facing us. I had a big, optimistic hope that She wouldn’t notice us, that we would sit at the back of the room and be able to observe what was happening. In reality, we were ushered down to the front almost immediately and introduced to Shri Mataji, who greeted us in a friendly and direct way. She very quickly put Her attention on me.
‘You have a bad heart,’ She said and asked the assembled Sahaja Yogis to direct their attention to me and they began to chant a mantra, which I didn’t know at the time, but was the mantra for the Left Heart chakra. I felt my heart open in waves as if a part of me, which had been asleep, was suddenly awakening. It was a very intense experience, but yet very normal. Many questions were immediately answered by that one experience, which lasted no more than a few minutes.
How deep and powerful everything was
Shri Mataji had all the older Sahaja Yogis wash our feet in Her bath water. This was outside in the garden and we newer people sat in a row on the edge of the lawn with our feet down on the gravel area where one drove cars in. In those days we did not realise how deep and powerful everything was that was going on.
I picked a bunch of herbs from the herb garden, and put one or two flowers in with them, then presented it to Shri Mataji.
‘One day I must tell you about all these,’ Shri Mataji said. She took a foxglove.
‘This flower is sacred to Lord Shiva,’ She said. The foxglove contains digitalis, a substance used in heart surgery. She also said sage was very good. Years later, I heard that the Americans had taken sage to Her, as it is sacred to the Native Americans.
Shri Mataji just transformed the place
We stayed up at Crosscraig at the time of the seminar for about a week. Each day, with Mother there, it got clearer and lighter, even though more and more damaged seekers kept turning up. A whole family of brothers and sisters came over from Ireland. Shri Mataji worked relentlessly, with yogis, elements and persuasion.
She just transformed the place, the vibrations, while She was there. I remember we had pujas, we had a havan and we had an ajwan session. There was one point where everybody came and took vibrations from Her. Some people touched Her and the rest of us held hands with those who had their hands on Her body, and She just gave vibrations that way.
A havan and ajwan
We had a havan in the field by the side of the loch and, as always in those days, Shri Mataji Herself sat on the further side of the fire. I watched the havan from a distance. There were all these people and Shri Mataji was next to the fire, in the field, and the people were all sitting round this fire. I was only a child of five, but I could feel the power of what was happening. The havan was the thousand names of the Goddess.
Shri Mataji had some people bring in a wheelbarrow full of burning charcoal from the havan, afterwards. She had us bring it into this room where we were all gathered, and had us shut all the windows and the doors. I was sitting right next to Her, and next to the wheelbarrow. She put a whole lot of ajwan in it and we weren’t allowed to leave the room. I was choking and having a terrible time, but it was very good.
More about the seminar
One time Shri Mataji kept us up all night, and being summer the nights were only about two hours long. We went outside as the sun rose, about three in the morning, in a golden line over the loch. Shri Mataji said the negativity had come for us in the night and had had a nasty shock when met by the Adi Shakti Herself.
The room in the centre of the picture, with the black inside its window, was where we had the puja. Shri Mataji slept next to it, on the right in the photo – white behind. After the puja Shri Mataji had us go into Her room and we massaged Her Feet and legs to take the vibrations which had been generated during the puja. Very often in those days the vibrations were not taken, and Mother explained they would cause Her great pain if they were not absorbed.
The strange thing about the cooking was this: we had a big catering style fridge, and Shri Mataji made a chicken dish which we didn’t finish, so we put the leftovers in the fridge for another day. Then after She had left, about a week later, Pat Anslow, who stayed up after the seminar, and I made another chicken stew and also put it in the same fridge and forgot about it. About three weeks after this we suddenly remembered the two stews; our stew had gone completely rotten whereas Mother’s was as fresh as the day it had been made.
We had a couple of cats, half wild moggies that had wandered in off the moors. Shri Mataji explained that cats often tend to get possessed, although one of ours was alright
We had beautiful weather, an almost midnight sun. I can remember Shri Mataji talking in the garden, about herbs.
A great feeling of love and compassion
Shri Mataji was sitting on the lawn on the front of the house, and She had all the Sahaja Yogis around Her and I remember running up to Her and She was telling them something and the feeling of love and compassion that She gave was so great.
Mother cooked for us. We had these big catering size pots and Mother was cooking for us.
Lemons and chillies
Shri Mataji was curing false guru victims at Crosscraig with lemons. I saw Her putting lemons on a chakra and then burning the lemon in a candle. It was when She burnt the lemon in a candle that I would notice that the catch in the person being worked on would disappear.
Shri Mataji cooked for us, wearing a Snoopy apron which had ‘Come and get it’ printed on it. She cooked delicious spicy food, with plenty of chillies to clear the left side.
Because of the love with which it was made
Someone was cooking pizza for everyone when Shri Mataji was at Crosscraig. I was very small, but I wanted to make one for Mother, so my mother gave me a little piece of dough and I made a small pizza. It went into the oven with all the other bigger pizzas but because it was so small when the other pizzas came out mine was burnt. I still wanted to give it to Shri Mataji but my mother said it was too burnt.
Nevertheless, I must have taken it to Mother, or somehow She heard about it. Anyway She asked for it and ate it, and said it had good vibrations, because of the love with which it was made.
To make Shri Mataji’s work easier
There was a megalith, an ancient standing stone, near the house, in the garden. This was why the place was called Crosscraig, or Croiscrag, which meant ‘place of the holy stone’. There were quite a few standing stones in the Rannoch Valley, but this one was all alone, about a metre and a half high and near the edge of the loch (lake).
We took Shri Mataji to see it, as it was only about fifty metres from the house, and She told us something very interesting. She said that the people who put up these stones knew that She was going to come there, but that also some negative things were going to go on there beforehand. She asked us to feel the vibrations of the stone and it didn’t seem to have any, either positive or negative. Shri Mataji said that was correct, and that the stone had been put there thousands of years ago to absorb some of the negative vibrations and so make Her work easier, but that it was as if full, so could not emit cool vibrations.
She never stopped working on everybody
At night Shri Mataji would ask the people to go, and we would direct vibrations while She slept, and She would wake up and comment on something and then fall back to sleep again. She never stopped working on everybody, just individually and collectively. She was working on every newcomer that came. People were coming from Ireland, as well as Scotland and England, and were coming to get cleared out.
People were really getting better. They were all improving as the week went on. People who had physical problems were just getting better, were feeling healthier, getting more energy.
The tremendous power, joy and majesty
We made garlands out of pink lupins from the garden for Mother, for the puja. They were for bracelets and anklets as well as a garland. When we sang the aarti to Mother, although I did not know what it meant, I felt the tremendous power, joy and majesty of the great Goddess in front of me. When we were bowing to Mother, She offered us a boon, but said we should ask in our hearts for something material.
It was a beautiful few days. As She left to get in Her car, I gave Her a flower, an orange one from our garden and to my amazement, Mother gave me a big hug. It was wonderful.
An honour and a blessing
Afterwards, Shri Mataji gave us a ceramic Shri Ganesha and a beautiful wooden statue of some deities, and also She gave me a wonderful gold and ruby necklace and a number of beautiful silk saris. Such generosity, because it was such an honour and a blessing that She came to the house in Scotland to save us, and on top of that She gave gifts!
Mother told me She would replace all the terrible memories of my misplaced seeking with beautiful memories, and so it has indeed been.
Our eternal Mother
When I was a child I used to have a recurrent dream. It came back a few times when I first got realisation. It went like this: I was in a beautiful, golden, shining place, and somehow all the others there had bodies of light. I asked Shri Mataji about this, and especially about the golden shining place.
‘Don’t you remember? You were with Me then,’ She said, meaning before I was born in this lifetime. There were many of us there, and on other occasions She also told us we have been in Her presence in Her previous incarnations.
The gentlest handshake
When we left Crosscraig in July 1979, we came down to Glasgow in a mini bus and Shri Mataji and others who were going south were getting on a train. As I was the only person to stay in Glasgow, I shook Shri Mataji’s hand as She was leaving. This was an incredible experience, as over that last couple of days, I had developed a considerable awe of Her power, which was immense.
When we shook hands, the handshake was the gentlest handshake I have ever experienced and it transformed my impressions of what a handshake could be. It had the strength of an elephant and yet it was as if it had been compressed into an egg without cracking it. It had authority and power and great sensitivity in it.
A very helpful relative
When we were arranging a programme in Cardiff in the mid-eighties, Shri Mataji told us that it was very important that we invite one of Her relatives who was living there. His name was Councillor Varma. This gentleman had the privilege of being one of the very first people in the UK to organise a public programme for Shri Mataji back in 1979, namely on the 20/07/1979, in Cardiff. Shri Mataji said that She was very pleased how he had managed to organise everything so well, all on his own, in 1979.
Shri Mataji said Wales is ‘the Maharashtra of the UK’. She also said that the first time She visited Wales in 1979, while travelling through the countryside, She noticed that the old Welsh place names had a strong influence from Marathi language, rather than Sanskrit as some scholars might assume. Shri Mataji also mentioned that on Her first visit in 1979 She enjoyed visiting Newport as well as Cardiff.
It was a lot easier to be thoughtless after that
I first met Shri Mataji on the 26th July 1979. I don’t think I actually got my realisation then, as Shri Mataji said it took a couple of weeks. The first experience was Shri Mataji invited some of us to a flat in Ashley Gardens. I had voices going on in my head all the time and Shri Mataji asked me what I had done. In the end, She got me to put my left hand under one of Her Feet and the right hand towards the candle flame and Shri Mataji started going into my subconscious, though I didn’t know it then. On the outside it looked as if She was dozing. Then all the voices stopped and a cool breeze just came blowing into my Agnya.
It was a lot easier to be thoughtless after that.
An unbelievable experience
In August 1979, my friend and I had been teaching at a martial arts club for some years. We had taken instruction from many Japanese masters and had been trying to achieve the state of Moksha. Unbeknown to me, my friend had been attending lectures at Caxton Hall over the previous six months; given by a lady he called Shri Mataji. He gave me an audiotape of one of Her lectures and I listened to it. I lay in my garden in the warm sunshine and when I heard Shri Mataji’s voice for the first time, I felt in my heart that the owner of this voice was 110% pure love. I ran into the house to find my wife Brenda and we both listened, and all we could think was, ‘How could we meet Her?’
I told my friend that I would go with him when next he went to Caxton Hall, but he said there was no need as Shri Mataji was coming to his home before she gave a lecture in the East End of London the following week.
Brenda and I went to the house to await Shri Mataji. Brenda went into the kitchen whilst my friend and I went into the lounge. Eventually we heard great shouts outside. Brenda was looking out of the kitchen window when she heard a woman’s voice behind her say, ‘Hello,’ She turned round to see Shri Mataji for the first time. She told me later that it was all she could do to stop herself running forward and embracing this wonderful lady she knew instinctively was her Mother.
Brenda showed Shri Mataji into the lounge, and I saw Her for the first time. She gave us a wonderful smile and as She sat down, a young girl dropped to her knees and bent to Shri Mataji’s Feet, as she did this I saw what I can only describe as a transparent snake shoot up her back towards Shri Mataji. The transparency was shimmering, and Shri Mataji pointed and looked up at us excitedly.
‘Ha! Did you see? Did you see the Kundalini?!’ Shri Mataji exclaimed. I looked at Brenda and my friend we all looked shocked and disbelieving at each other, but once again Shri Mataji asked, ‘Did you see the Kundalini?’ We all nodded our heads in acknowledgment.
That evening Brenda and I attended the East End programme with our three children. I had recently lost my elder brother who had died suddenly, and he had always worried about my eldest son, who had been a bit accident-prone. When Shri Mataji came up to work on us and grant us our realisation, She worked on my eldest son and told him there was someone there, looking after him. She asked if we had recently had a bereavement and smiled and told my son he could tell his uncle to go now, as he would always be looked after. Brenda and I couldn’t believe our ears. Then Shri Mataji saw two children sitting in front and said they were born realised.
‘Whose children are they?’ She asked. It was my son and daughter, and Shri Mataji told us we were very lucky to have born realised children. I did not quite understand what this meant at the time.
Shri Mataji massaged me with oil
The first time Shri Mataji came to Crosscraig was for the seminar and the second time was with Sir CP for a short holiday. That was later on, in about September and She came for a few days. One evening, we had a large open fire in the living room and Shri Mataji was sitting by the log fire. I was five and She massaged me with oil, while I was lying in front of the fire — back, legs, the whole body.
I also remember we drove right round the loch with Shri Mataji and Sir CP, a trip of about twenty-five miles in all, and at one place there were some wild geese walking across the road. We stopped the car to let them cross. Shri Mataji mentioned that the goose, or swan, is known as the hams – hence the name – Hamsa chakra.
Editor’s note: there is a legend in India that the swan can suck the milk out of water when it is all mixed up – the symbol of discrimination.
An informal visit
When Shri Mataji came the second time to Scotland in 1979, to graciously visit us at Crosscraig there were fewer people. She made ordinary tea, with milk and sugar, and put some fresh basil in to flavour it. She gave it to us to drink and said it would be good for our Vishuddhis.
A man dropped by who was not a Sahaja Yogi. He went on long distance yachting races. Mother said his vibrations weren’t too bad, because being on the sea so much cleared him out a bit. He met Shri Mataji but had no idea who She was. He was critical of the fact that many people had servants in India. Mother explained very gently that in a country where many people were poor and uneducated, if some of them could be employed to do menial tasks it was a good thing.
‘What else are they going to do for a living?’ She said.
I wondered about people who met Shri Mataji but were not seeking Her. I asked if, when a person died, whether they would recognise Her in the other realm.
‘No, why should they?’ She replied.
I am protecting them
I remember Mother sitting on a rock, at Loch Rannoch in Scotland in 1979, and both Her and Sir CP had a fishing rod. Mother was very amused by this activity. Someone else caught a fish. Mother didn’t catch a fish, but what did happen though, while all this was going on, was that about a hundred fish suddenly came to the surface, sort of bobbing up, as if they wanted to be caught. Mother didn’t catch any of them, but they just appeared out of nowhere. These fish just started appearing spontaneously everywhere and when She left, they all vanished again.
Shri Mataji was smiling.
‘Sir CP will not get any fish because I am protecting them,’ She said. It was really sweet.
Gregoire de Kalbermatten
The warm reception Shri Mataji got in Scotland
In 2001, at Cabella, Shri Mataji spoke to me about Scotland and said how much She loved Scotland, and how She would never forget when She went there in the 1970’s, and how She went to Crosscraig, Rannoch. She recalled how She was greeted there with the aarti, and the warm reception She got in Scotland from the local people and the Sahaja Yogis. She said that memory is with Her always.
Alexandra Maitland Hume
Not enough words to thank Her
In 1979, we were living in Shimla, a hill station in the Himalayas, and got our realisation from a strong Sahaja Yogi, Maneesh Singh.
‘You have got realisation,’ he said, but I told him that I would only believe it when Shri Mataji Herself told me so.
We went to Delhi to meet Her and when all the first timers were going to the stage to bow down to Shri Mataji’s Lotus Feet we also did.
‘Did I get my self realisation?’ I asked Shri Mataji.
‘Yes, you did,’ She said, smiling, and while we were taking permission from Her to leave for Shimla, She gave me a big long hug and blessed all of us – myself, my son and my two daughters.
My husband had a serious heart condition, and Shri Mataji knew it and gave me strength to bear that, and the witnessing power when he expired soon after. She again met me and took my hand in Hers.
‘I am taking on all your responsibilities,’ She said.
I know you have been waiting for Me
The first time I met Shri Mataji was 1979. We had had our realisation in April in Shimla but we hadn’t met Shri Mataji yet. She came from London to Delhi in August and did a public programme. We went down to meet Shri Mataji there. We sat right in front and I was with my brother and sister and mother, and as soon as the programme was finished we ran right up to the stage.
‘I know you have been waiting for Me for such a long time, and here I am,’ Shri Mataji said as soon as She saw me. Those were Her very first words, and we went to Her house the very next day, and were going back to Shimla after that. My brother said that we always got car sick on the drive to Shimla.
‘They won’t this time, they will be just fine,’ Shri Mataji said. We went to the bus station and there was a very strong smell of roses there, all around us, and that stayed with us the whole long trip to Shimla, and we didn’t become sick, not once. It was like fresh roses.
When I first came to Sahaja Yoga in early 1979, Shri Mataji asked us to look up into the sky to see if we could see vibrations. We looked really hard and couldn’t see anything.
‘Shri Mataji, I see white dots and black dots,’ I said.
‘Focus on the white ones, and you will see the vibrations,’ Shri Mataji said. Suddenly you could see them, sparkling – and She said the black dots were the negativities. What happened after that was that I could see vibrations all the time in the air, and on top of people’s heads, and everywhere. You don’t have to try so hard, now She has shown it to you.