Look at your flower!
It was April 1993 and we were waiting for Shri Mataji to arrive at Rome Airport. It was very, very hot and there were no fans or air conditioning. Shri Mataji’s plane was four hours late and it was so hot! Katey Headlam was in a very smart skirt and jacket, and she had put a yellow daisy, in the lapel of her jacket, but it had completely wilted.
Shri Mataji finally came through, sat down and we were all given the opportunity to offer our flowers. We gathered around Her, about thirty of us, waited on one side and then moved off to the other side after giving our flowers. When it came to my turn, there was a man in front of me who bowed down after giving his flower. Shri Mataji took Her attention from him to me with such love and looked at me like a mother who is so proud of Her child. She made me feel so good, about all the conditionings I’d been through, and all the problems that had been overcome since my realisation eight months before, everything was worthwhile, from that moment on. That one look, seemed to say, ‘Now you are coming up.’ I bowed down and had the joy of offering my flower, and I had the joy of watching other people had at those moments too.
Then it came time for Shri Mataji to go to the Rome ashram, to Her little house there. Just as we were leaving the airport, I saw Katey again and looked at the flower on her lapel. It was as if it had just been picked: fresh, yellow and as if it was a completely different flower from the wilted one earlier.
‘Look at your flower!’ I said
‘Yes, it’s Shri Mataji!’ she replied.
We belong to Shri Mataji’s attention
In my first year of Sahaj life, after a puja near Rome, Italy, our bus was waiting to take us back to Austria. It had been a wonderful weekend and I felt really tired after the puja. I was sitting in the back of the tent watching things going on, on the stage. Yogis were playing and singing bhajans and Shri Mataji was enjoying it. I was too but I was almost falling off of my chair – I was really exhausted and couldn’t sit, couldn’t stand and couldn’t keep my eyes open any more so decided to go to the bus and sleep.
I pulled my ears, made namaskar to Shri Mataji and when I stood up again, She looked directly at me in the back of the tent, folded Her hands and bowed Her head gently. Whoosh! What a wake up that was for me — no more tiredness, no more craving for sleep. Immediately, I knew that She knew me through and through, though I had never met Her personally. I sat down again in awe and pure attention, watching Shri Mataji until She left.
In April 1993, Shri Mataji arrived in Athens for a public programme. She stayed at the Hotel Olympic, right next to the temple of Olympian Zeus in central Athens. That morning, She was going from the hotel to the TV station for an interview. She came out of the hotel and went past me to get into Her car, and all of a sudden I felt my whole body filling up with Her holiness.
Now holiness is a feeling that I cannot explain. You can tell somebody that you are thirsty or hungry or angry, they understand. But holiness? How many people have ever had this feeling, to feel the holiness of the person that is standing in front of them? It was the most unique experience I have ever had with Shri Mataji and I hope that the whole of humanity can experience that, too.
Since then, I had many other experiences with Shri Mataji that point out to the absolute truth that She represents. But the feeling of Her holiness is now getting to be a permanent one, not only when in Her presence, but in everyday life.
A great spiritual centre
During Shri Mataji’s visit to Greece in 1993 She stayed at the house of the leader. She proclaimed that Greece would become a great spiritual centre.
In the beautiful home of our Mother
I got my self realisation in Helsinki in September 1992, right after Shri Mataji’s second visit to Finland. The first time I saw Shri Mataji in Her physical form was at Sahasrara Puja in Cabella in 1993.
We were all standing while Shri Mataji arrived from the right. Without looking up I just felt Her presence so strongly. As my Kundalini shot up like a rocket, I felt as if the whole cranium opened up. The vibrations were so strong that tears started falling down my cheeks. I have never after felt the vibrations that strongly.
One or two years later in Cabella, probably also at Sahasrara Puja, I stayed in Cabella after the puja. I found myself in a car with some American yogis, heading for the airport to see Shri Mataji off. At the airport we were fortunate to sit down at the Feet of our Mother, who was talking so sweetly to Her children. At some point Shri Mataji expressed Her surprise that there were so many American yogis attending the puja.
‘I’m from Finland, Shri Mataji,’ I foolishly raised my hand and said. I felt a bit awkward and I had to repeat myself a couple of times before Shri Mataji could hear me. I afterwards understood that I should not have tried to catch Mother’s attention the way I did, but as usual I had not slept during the nights in Cabella. I had been suffering from severe insomnia for many years and somehow desperately wanted Mother’s attention.
Shri Mataji then asked us where we intended to spend the night. As we did not really have any plans, She suggested that we go back to Cabella and to the castle. She said that we would be shown around the castle, and invited us to stay the night in Her home. So, as offered by our Mother, we returned to Cabella, where we were guided around in the castle. We all stayed the night there and I had the deepest and sweetest sleep of my life, as I felt I was in the arms of my Mother.
Later when the Finnish leader asked Shri Mataji about my sleeping problem, I was told by Mother to forgive my father and to take care of my liver. During the war my father sent me – together with some 20,000 other children – to Sweden when I was under three years old. As to my liver, I had suffered from hepatitis in the late 1960’s, and my liver has probably never fully recovered since.
So, of course, Mother really knew, and cared for, each and every one of Her children.
Yes, I am coming
In June 1993, after Shri Mataji gave a public programme at the Royal Albert Hall in London, She invited the new people to come on stage where She either worked on them or spoke to them one at a time. I am from Singapore, and was a nineteen year old university student studying in England, and had been in Sahaja Yoga for less than four months. There were so many people on the stage, taking their turns to speak to Mother, and when my turn came, I just gently held Shri Mataji’s right hand with both hands.
‘Shri Mataji, will You come to Singapore one day?’ I asked.
‘Yes, I’m coming, I’m coming,’ She replied with a smile, and stared deeply at me for a while. There were so many people waiting to see Her and talk to Her so I had to move on. Later I realised those moments had been an incredible experience of complete thoughtlessness – a kind of vacuum, after speaking to Her and holding Her right hand. It was something quite out of this world.
Shri Mataji at the Albert Hall in 1993
The year 1993 came in my life with a holy grail of nectar. It was at the Guru Puja, July 3rd – 4th 1993 in Cabella that it all began. A musical performance programme had begun before Adi Shakti Shri Mataji. The whole art theatre was packed with virtuoso artists and Sahaji listeners. At about one o’clock in the morning my turn came and I began to sing. As my first note came out, Shri Mataji blessed me with self realisation. I then immediately came to know the difference between music for mere entertainment and Sahaja music. It is true that music entertains the mind but Sahaja music is much more than that – it touches your Spirit and gives rise to spiritual ascent.
The next day was a Guru Puja day. For this puja, Sahajis from all over the world had gathered. When I heard the words from the speech of Shri Mataji I experienced that Mother’s speech was like music and Her words were mantras. For me this was a very valuable discovery. I was terribly thrilled by it. Even in a technical sense this discovery carried a deeper meaning:
Shri Mataji’s speech, Her thoughts, Her teachings are all Divine Music because in them there is rhythm. There are notes and words which are not mere words but mantras. Sahaja music affects the subtle system through the frequency of the chakras. When Shri Mataji explained anything regarding a particular chakra, She used that musical note whose frequency matched that of the corresponding chakra. This is why Shri Mataji’s speech, thoughts and teachings are all Divine Music and they directly touch the Spirit.
Shri Mataji always gave chaitanya to the world through Her Divine Music and through the music of others. Through it there is a continuously flowing and living spring of chaitanya. Musical notes are the carriers of chaitanya and through these the disciple can acquire spiritual knowledge and growth.
While I was writing the book The Search for the Divine Mother, I had the chance to meet Shri Mataji twice, in 1993 and 1994.
Shri Mataji questioned me about the symbols of the Goddess, namely the dove, the moon and the serpent. She said the dove is the only white bird flying up vertically, therefore it represents the Holy Spirit or Kundalini. Concerning the moon, She said that the moon represents the Spirit, because it reflects the sunlight, as the Spirit is the mirror of God the Father within us. She said that is the reason why in Indian mythology the moon is the brother of the sun.
As for the serpent, She said that the serpent in the Bible is the Goddess that inspired Eve to look for the fruit of knowledge. Shri Mataji explained that Adam and Eve were totally divine, and as such could not be the root of mankind. They had no children as opposed to what the Bible said and should they have had children, these would have been divine and as such could not fulfill the purpose of the creation.*
Human beings have evolved from the animal stage to the human stage. She explained, without specifically using these words, that Adam and Eve were kind of divine prototypes for the human race. I asked Her if Adam and Eve had really lived on earth or if they were in Vaikuntha. Shri Mataji asserted that they really lived on earth in Kashmir.
‘No doubt about it!’ She added, and said that the Gnostics knew this because they were poets.
Shri Mataji wanted to know about Sumer, which is considered to be the most ancient civilisation, for the Western world. When I answered that Sumer was 4000 BC, and Shri Mataji said that Indian civilisation is much older. There is a temple in India that was built at the time of Markandeya, 16,000 years ago. She continued, and explained that all the mathematics we believe comes from Greece, from Pythagoras, was written in Sanskrit much before.
Shri Rama came in 6000 BC and Shri Krishna 4000 BC. She said that the eras, yugas in Indian tradition, last 2000 years, not 10,000 years as is often believed. The prophets: Zoroaster, Abraham and Moses came in about 2000 BC, Christ at the beginning of the Christian Era, and 2000 AD Shri Mataji.
She said that there were planes during the time of Shri Rama. At that specific moment, I thought, but did not express it in words, ‘But if there were planes why don’t we find any trace of this in archeology?’ Shri Mataji captured my thought.
‘There was a gap,’ (I understood a time gap which explains a lot) ‘between two eras when the deluge took place,’ She answered instantly and said that India was at that time submerged.
I explained to Shri Mataji that in the Assyrian mythology, a male god kills the Goddess, whereas in India, the Goddess kills the asuras. She said that the Indians had done it right! Shri Mataji asked me where Assyria was located, and I answered that it was Iraq.
At the end of this conversation, Shri Mataji stopped and contemplated the sky through the window of Her room in the ashram. I bowed down and left Her room and felt that Shri Mataji had taken me on Her wings on an incredible journey through time and space.
*Editor’s note: Extract of an email from Gwennael: ‘Shri Mataji said publicly that the story of Adam and Eve is too complex for human beings to understand.’
You must be completely thoughtless
We were at a public programme in Paris, in July 1993. After the programme the people were asked to come up and see Shri Mataji. All the people went up, and She was working on them and She was one by one asking them.
‘Take this one, he has got Nabhi problem, or this one, he has got Agnya,’ She would say to us. Shri Mataji was directing us.
‘You work on this one, you work on that one. You must be thoughtless when you are working on somebody. You must be completely thoughtless, and say My mantras, and be on your Kundalini. And once you are on your Kundalini and you are working on that person, it clears out very quickly.’ That was when She told us we had to keep on working with the candle and on our vibrations.
Shri Mataji leaving the Belgian ashram
You know I never miss a plane
After Her stay in the Belgian ashram, ‘Nirmala House’ in mid July 1993, Shri Mataji left for the airport. We went by car from Everbeek to Brussels and everything went smoothly with Shri Mataji sleeping in the back of the car. We arrived at the end of the highway and approached the ring road around Brussels. We mentioned that the ring road was completely blocked.
‘What should we do now?’ asked the driver of the car.
We decided to go straight through Brussels. In one of the tunnels under the town, where the maximum allowed speed was 50 kms per hour, the driver was going faster. At that moment a sweet voice was heard from the back of the car.
‘You don’t have to go so fast. You know I never miss a plane.’
We arrived at the airport and there was still time for all of the yogis to offer a flower to Shri Mataji.
Bert Op de Beeck
You will become Sahaja Yogis
One day after the public programme in Prague, in 1993, Shri Mataji and about fifteen Yogis were shopping in Novy Bor. At lunchtime Shri Mataji sat down under a big tree and ate some sandwiches. Suddenly She looked down to Her Lotus Feet. There were some ants climbing up Her Feet.
‘Don’t worry, in your next life you will become Sahaja Yogis,’ She smiled and said.
Mother looked at me and I felt better
In July 1993, I had the opportunity to go shopping with Shri Mataji. She came to Germany with the Indian singers. Shri Mataji stayed in the ashram in Frankfurt, then we had public programmes in Berlin and Hamburg. In Berlin we went shopping and I was invited to go along too. We went to a big super store and when Shri Mataji found a necklace She would buy ten or twenty of them.
The leaders went off somewhere for some reason. There were just three of us, ladies. Mother wanted to sit down, so She took us to the shoe department and we sat down there. I was sitting next to Shri Mataji, but I just couldn’t look at Her, and I kept thinking, ‘This is God!’ Meanwhile Shri Mataji was just chatting, and talking, and laughing to the other lady, giving me time to calm down. I can’t remember any of the things She said, but I remember the joy and the naturalness. Slowly I began to enjoy this, and I laughed, and then Mother looked at me, and I felt better.
The shop assistant brought a pair of shoes for Shri Mataji to look at. She touched them, and vibrated them and said they were very nice. Then another sales assistant brought some more. In the next few minutes Shri Mataji vibrated all these shoes that the unknowing Berliners would be buying.
Mother knew just what each of us needed.
Thank you very much
When I first became a Sahaja Yogi, I had the desire that I wanted to meet Shri Mataji personally and wanted to ‘shake hands’ with Her. When I recognized Her as the Incarnation of the Holy Ghost, this desire was not important any more. Three years later Shri Mataji visited Prague, in about 1993. After the evening meditation suddenly I remembered my desire.
The next day after a public programme Shri Mataji was leaving the house (ashram) in the morning to go to the airport. Many Sahaja Yogis were waiting in front of the house and inside, in front of the door of Her room. I was waiting in the kitchen together with some ladies. Suddenly the door at the back of the kitchen opened and Shri Mataji was standing there. We did not expect Her to come from this door.
‘Ah here you are, waiting for Me,’ She said. She was not coming out of the door because there was a small step. The lady travelling with Shri Mataji was behind Her.
‘Hand!’ she whispered to me. Normally it is the job of the leaders or Her attendants to give Shri Mataji a hand. There was no leader around and I was next to the door – so the lady again whispered ‘Hand!’ I understood, and offered Shri Mataji my hand to step over this small doorstep. I was completely thoughtless and full of joy.
‘Thank you very much,’ Shri Mataji said after two or three metres.
After all, they are also My children
In 1993, in Prague, we went to a big carpet store with Shri Mataji. There were three sellers and Shri Mataji got them quite busy, showing Her all the carpets. At the beginning they were friendly towards Mother, but after about twenty carpets we could see they were getting more and more upset. After ten more carpets, although we could not understand them we felt they were probably complaining. At this point one of the Sahaja Yogis turned to the sellers and also began feeling a bit upset with them, and you could see this on the Sahaja Yogis’ faces.
‘After all, they are also My children,’ Shri Mataji suddenly said.
At that time some of the people of the Eastern bloc countries were not very friendly in their work places, because they were not paid well and had to be very particular about rules. A short time later, about five minutes past closing time, we were on our way out. Shri Mataji suddenly asked us to stop because She saw a beautiful vase She wanted to buy.
‘How much is it?’ Shri Mataji asked, and the lady shop assistant started to be very impolite to Mother. This was too much for us, but just at this moment Shri Mataji turned to us with a big motherly smile and said, ‘It must be her liver.’
All the tension turned to humour and we all started laughing. It was a big lesson.