A gift of eleven years of life
This story is to do with my personal mother coming to Sahaja Yoga, in 1992, shortly after I came. Just before this time she had been quite sick and all the doctors who were treating her were convinced it was a heart defect. She had been suffering from a serious heart problem since she was fifteen years old. We were very worried about her.
A year later Shri Mataji blessed us with a visit. In September 1993 She came to the south of Poland and graciously accepted to stay in my parents’ house. My mother had some personal attention from Shri Mataji. The topic of my mother’s health was never really treated directly, all I know that after Shri Mataji’s visit my mother’s symptoms were never as serious as before and it was only many years later that they came back.
Eleven years later the symptoms of her illness returned and were diagnosed as very dreadful kind of cancer, so it was a blessing that all those years had been given to my mother by Shri Mataji. When my mother applied for a disability pension from the state she was refused, because they said it was impossible for her to have this disease for so many years because it kills in twelve weeks.
Shri Vishnumaya was paying homage
On the same occasion, in 1993, it was the only occasion that Shri Mataji travelled from Warsaw, the capital, down to the south of Poland. It was about three hours on the train, and it was one of the first days of September. It was not raining but there was lightning after lightning in the sky – no clouds, just lightning. The next day Shri Mataji commented that this was Shri Vishnumaya manifesting, because Poland is also the country of Shri Vishnumaya and this deity was paying homage. Shri Mataji said She saw one thousand and one flashes of lightning.
Now I can tell you
Shri Mataji came to Poland six times and I was with Her in the hotel and was usually waiting for Her in Her apartment – cleaning, preparing dinner and so on. Once I somehow went to the hall and was standing next to Mother when She was working on the people. One young man came.
‘Are You God?’ he asked Her.
‘I can’t tell you this because I don’t want to be crucified,’ She answered. After that She worked on him for a while and then She whispered to his ear. ‘Now I can tell you. I am God!’
Can you imagine! She said it!
Hania from Poland
Phoning to God
We were in Poland and I was with Annegret Kaluzny from Switzerland. We were working on people and there were two of us yoginis and five hundred people queuing and we couldn’t give much attention to every single person. So we just gave a bandhan before and the Kundalini did the work. They felt cool or warm, but it worked like that.
Later, when Shri Mataji came to Warsaw, we told Her about this. We said it was like phoning to God.
‘Phoning to God?’ Shri Mataji said. ‘But do you know what it means when you do the bandhan? It is like when you make a circle in the water and it goes deep, like turbulence. And when you do this on your hand, you do the same in the Paramchaitanya. It’s acting immediately.’
Which chakra represents Poland?
On the request of a lot of people, I asked Shri Mataji which chakra represents Poland.
‘Only human beings are creating borders, not God. Poland is a part of the Void, of Europe,’ Mother answered.
She is there
After a programme in Warsaw, the sky was completely pink. Mother told us that whenever the sky is pink, She is there.
He recognised Me
Shri Mataji was in a very small shop in Warsaw, buying some porcelain. A five to six year old gypsy boy and his face, hands and clothes were very dirty. The owner of the shop tried many times to push him out but the little one tried to come closer to Shri Mataji. I was thinking that hopefully he would not spoil Her beautiful sari. Mother took him on Her lap and embraced him.
‘He recognised Me,’ She said.
We felt we were just Her instruments
One day after Shri Mataji had given realisation to 10,000 people gathered for a public programme in a big stadium in the outskirts of Sofia, Shri Mataji asked all people that wanted to be cured should come the day after. This experience was really like being in the Bible! Like Christ, She performed several miracles: one person came half paralysed walking with sticks and left a few minutes after walking freely, not believing himself what had happened. Shri Mataji was asking all the yogis to work on the people.
We felt we were just Her instruments and channels for Her divine vibrations. She called me and asked me to work on a person distant from twenty metres (She really had Her attention everywhere) and to teach him to say Allah hu akbar. He indeed had a strong blockage in the Vishuddhi and I tried to explain him how to say the mantra Shri Mataji had asked me to teach him. I was unsuccessful as this seeker did not speak English and I did not speak Bulgarian. Therefore I worked on his Vishuddhi for a while and after, considering my mission was completed, I came back to work on other people. Shri Mataji called me again.
‘He has to say Allah hu akbar sixteen times,’ She said. I was not at ease with myself, but I did come back and this time wrote to him what to say, which he finally did.
‘Now he got his realisation!’ Shri Mataji told me a few moments later. All this happened while Shri Mataji’s incredible multidirectional attention was working on all people in the room, with one Foot on one person, one hand giving vibration to another one, etc.
I could feel Her love, Her attention
The Hungarian public programme in September 1993 was my first Sahaj trip out of Romania, when I was sixteen. Some days before leaving, my mother started forbidding me to do Sahaja Yoga. She never used to forbid anything and therefore this was very weird. However she allowed me to go to Hungary, as ‘the last time’.
This public programme showed me a very compassionate Shri Mataji, such as I had never seen before. She spent so much time working on and talking to every newcomer. I was below the stage and just prayed to Her that my mum would change and would allow me to do Sahaj as before.
When Mother was leaving we were supposed to go to the airport to bid Her farewell, but our bus was very late. We reached there when Shri Mataji had already received everybody’s flowers, and we were at the back with no flowers and a huge crowd of Sahaja Yogis in front of us. The next moment a Sahaja Yogini started distributing flowers, which solved my first problem. Then there was an announcement, that no one could cross the customs counter, and Shri Mataji had already gone beyond there.
‘Don’t bother about them! Just run and give Her the flower,’ a Hungarian yuva shakti came to me and said.
Suddenly the crowd of Sahaja Yogis, this huge ocean of people, split apart, like Moses’ Red Sea. Seeing the flower in my hand, everybody made way. In two seconds I was at the customs counter. I ran through it before anybody thought of stopping me and reached Mother, who was talking to some leaders and about to enter the boarding passage. Nevertheless She turned, and with a smile took my rose, that matched the colour of HHHer sari. I could not stop my tears. I could feel Her love, Her attention. She knew I was there, and that was very important for me.
Needless to say, after returning home my mother was appeased and later she even took her realisation.
Twelve girls dancing with flowers
In 1993 when Shri Mataji came we performed a dance – Jai Shiva gaya hai! – It was Shri Mahalakshmi Puja, 8th September, when Shri Mahalakshmi was born. The puja was at the Palace of Culture in the centre of Sofia. So we were twelve girls dancing with flowers. After the dance She said, in the puja talk, that the dancers all came from Kashmir.
Shri Mahalakshmi Puja, Bulgaria
The Shri Mahalakshmi Puja was celebrated on September 8th, the day when the Virgin Mary was born, in the National Palace of Culture, NDK the biggest culture and congress centre in Bulgaria.
Everything gets its answer
Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi visited Bulgaria in September 1993. We had decided to organize a small exhibition of handmade traditional Bulgarian lace and embroidery. I had to bring a big pack of these to the capital of Bulgaria, Sofia, where Shri Mataji was going to come, but a day before my departure I sprained my ankle badly. The pain I felt was severe, so when the coordinator of the projects connected with Shri Mother’s visit called me that day, I explained, with a fully despairing voice, that I could neither bring the handicrafts nor go myself. She calmed me and said that she would ask the collective to give me a bandhan — and the miracle happened. Half an hour later, the pain in my left ankle was gone.
The following day, I, alongside with numberless other yogis, went to Sofia and welcomed Shri Mataji at the airport.
That same evening, I was one of those lucky ladies, who had the immense honour and blessing to decorate Shri Mataji’s Lotus Feet at the small puja that She most graciously allowed us to offer. And then what a miracle — I saw that Her left ankle was swollen and bruised at that same place where mine was before the bandhan. I could freely move around, stepping with my leg, which ankle I had sprained the day before.
On remembering how painful it was, I felt extremely miserable that I had burdened Shri Mataji with my pain. However, some time passed and the worries that were plaguing me got their answer. I read one of Mother’s talks, where She said that She had taken an oath to cure us and to take the pain away and that it shouldn’t make us feel guilty.
A connection between the Bulgarians and the Indians
One year Shri Mataji came and we were at the airport offering flowers to Her. Then She was looking at each one of us, and suddenly said that we had very good noses! We don’t know if this was all the Bulgarian people, but that is what She said. She also said that there was a connection between the Bulgarians and the Indians, that we are very close to the Indians, also in the way we look.
A picture of a swayambhu
On one occasion the Bulgarian yogis offered Shri Mataji a present at the puja. It was a picture of a swayambhu – the Holy Mother Shri Ade Shakti. It is in Bulgaria, on the top of one of our mountains. It is engraved in a rock and it is quite a long way to climb up there. The swayambhu shows a woman riding and killing something with a spear. Shri Mataji said there was a connection between the Indian swayambhus and this one. The name of this place in Bulgaria is Madara, and there are other swayambhus near there, showing the Kundalini.
The swayambhu mentioned above
One with Mother
In September 1993, there was a Ganesha Puja in Cabella. I had married in Ganapatipule in December 1992. They announced that married ladies who had never done a puja before could come to perform it. I had a very big desire to do it, since the beginning of the ceremony, like an inner voice calling me. The Yoginis behind me were pushing me to go on the stage because I was newly married, but I remained seated, because I had did not feel good inside and I could not go in front of Shri Mataji in such a state. Furthermore, I already had the chance to do a puja to Her.
At the end of the puja, the Italian leader asked the ladies to come in front to give the prasad. So I went in front, and surprisingly, not many ladies did and I was the second or third lady to reach the stage, whereas I was sitting quite far back. The leader asked me to come on the stage, but I could not understand what he wanted. I came on the stage and felt very shy. I was in front of Shri Mataji, the leader started to present a plate of prasad to Her and She ate some, then he gave me the plate of prasad and I gave it to other ladies who were arriving, waiting for the trays. It went on and on, tens of trays and dishes circulated one by one from Shri Mataji to the leader’s hands, then to mine, then to the yoginis.
Finally, I did namastey and went back to my place. When I sat down I was in a totally different state, which is extremely hard to describe. Of course, all my thoughts were gone, as absorbed, and I was so deep inside in complete peace. I was floating in heavens – there was no inside or outside. There was no use to talk, no use to smile even, just I was. I was one with Mother.
A revolution and revelation
When I was in London in the 1990’s, Shri Mataji called me to Her house. After giving us some tea and food, we were sitting in Her living room, just two of us, and during the conversation, this message was written as I was going back to Toronto next day. There was no special occasion, except that She visited Canada a few weeks after I brought the letter to the Toronto collective. The top lines on the letter are my hand writing, whereas the message was written by Shri Mataji Herself.