Shri Mataji is always with us when our attention is on Her
We were having a simple puja to celebrate the fifth birthday of International Sahaja Yoga Research and Health Centre near Vashi, India and we were all sitting in the meditation room saying the hundred and eight names of Shri Mataji. The phone rang and the gateman came in and spoke to Dr. Rai. It turned out that Shri Mataji had told someone to ring up from Pratishthan and give this message.
‘I felt such good vibrations coming from Vashi. Were you all doing My puja?’ She said.
At a Shiva Puja in Pune one year Shri Mataji said, ‘One day the world will be so beautiful that Shiva will close his third eye and flowers will fall from the heavens,’ and at the end of the puja She asked them to take apart all the petals from all the flowers on the stage and give them to us with the prasad (I still have mine in a book).
I felt like jumping and dancing with joy
A few days after the 2001 Birthday Puja in Delhi I had the blessing to find myself again at Shri Mataji’s Lotus Feet, with a bouquet of flowers and a proposal for four books related to Sahaja Yoga that my wife and I wanted to write. Shri Mataji smiled, took the flowers and started immediately to talk about a Texas project on which She had Her attention very much. I explained some difficulties we had run into, and although I felt hesitant doing it, I gave it a bandhan in Her presence knowing how powerful this can be. Shri Mataji took the matter seriously and further inquired about the matter in a very pointed way, and then She Herself gave a bandhan. Putting Her attention on the matter, She immediately told me what the root cause was. This very important guidance helped tremendously with furthering our efforts.
‘Paper burn’, Shri Mataji instructed, which I religiously did for a while afterwards until I felt that the situation had stabilized.
She noticed the folder I was holding on my lap rather hesitatingly.
‘What do you have there?’ She asked me with infinite sweetness. I then presented Her the proposals for the four books, and it was an amazing experience. She held each of the four groups of stapled pages in Her hands, putting Her attention very briefly on each one, but She knew everything about the proposal, the book, and all it was going to contain, even before I would open my mouth to explain. We all know how many times, as She is Shri Mahamaya, She lets us talk for a while and go on explaining – but this time it was not like that. Instantaneously She communicated to me the essence, the direction, the corrections and the guidance She had seen in each book proposal.
For example, one of the books was along the lines of a pretty far-fetched concept I had coined and was trying to link it to Sahaja Yoga in the hope it will would ring a bell in the minds of the American public and maybe (in my dreams) become another Celestine Prophecy bestseller. In doing so, I must have mixed in some things which were not exactly pure knowledge.
‘It’s good to write a book, but it should be honest, it should be something that you have experienced yourself,’ Shri Mataji very kindly advised. With hindsight I realized what a bunch of baloney was in (part of) that book, but how gently She had brought that up for me.
On another book, I had put all my devotion and emotion into it, and so it must have maybe gone a bit to the left. Shri Mataji corrected that in a single, most masterful remark. When I started to wave my hands in the air and explain how the Americans have forgotten what a mother’s love is, and how this book wants to…
‘It’s an energy,’ She gently nodded and said. These three words were enough for me to realize that I needed to add a bit more down to earth, possibly even scientific, substance, and not to make it into just poetry in prose.
While She sometimes changed the direction of an entire book with three words, on other occasions She went into the complete details of specific things She wanted to be mentioned in the book. For example, in a book that my wife was planning to write about how Sahaja Yogis received their self realization and what they felt (Testimonials of Enlightement), Shri Mataji suggested, among many other things, that an explanation about Christ turning water into grape juice should be included in the introduction. I was stunned at the profoundness of all of Her guidance – as we sometimes get stunned when we continue to forget in front of Whom we are sitting.
‘I wrote Meta Modern Era in one month,’ She said and hinted at the fact that we, the Sahaja Yogis, can also write a book in that interval.
At times Shri Mataji looked at me very penetratingly, as if concerned that I might forget all the advice She gave. I had imprinted everything in my memory and jotted it down right after meeting with Her, but I also understood that it was important to have pen and paper ready when meeting Her on subsequent occasions.
I remembered how just before going to meet Her, I was waiting outside Her room in meditation together with other yogis, and was feeling my Centre Heart chakra that I had been feeling on several occasions during that trip. I was desperately trying to clear it out since I knew Shri Mataji would absorb it as soon as I faced Her and I didn’t want to trouble Her. I cleared it out as much as I could but it was still there when I walked in. Of course I had completely forgotten about it during those amazing fifteen minutes or so when I was with Her, but when I came out I realized that, by Her Grace, it was completely gone! I thanked Her in my heart while also feeling like pulling my ears for causing Her pain. But the vibrations really lifted me up so much that I felt like jumping and dancing with joy, which in fact I did when back at the camp, to the gentle amusement of another Sahaja Yogi who had accompanied me on that trip.
Editor’s note: paper burning is a technique whereby the problem is written on a piece of paper, then one makes a bandhan on it and puts it in front of the photo of Shri Mataji for some time. Then one burns the piece of paper.
The source of all creativity
At Cabella, Mother wanted to see me about the cover of Sir CP’s book, Corruption. This book was inspired by Shri Mataji and Sir CP put it down on paper.
‘See, this is what this Western artist has done with the cover page,’ She said. It was a plain black colour background with some dirty roots and Corruption, India’s Enemy Within written on it. Although graphically it did mean something, it was very bland and very Western. Shri Mataji said it should be very poetic and in miniature style.
‘Sir CP has written a beautiful book, and I would like us to work out a nice cover for it. Can you think of an idea?’ She said.
‘What can I say in front of You? You are the source of all creativity. But corruption is something like roots being eaten under water,’ I said.
‘Show two lotuses and the roots underneath are being eaten by – these politicians are like crocodiles, so you must show the crocodiles eating away all the roots. I want you to show the night, and these two beautiful lotuses, called Kumudini lotuses, which only blossom in the moonlight. I want you to show a full moon and these beautiful lotuses. Then show a part of these roots under the water and the crocodiles trying to eat the roots. It should be very poetic. You should show some clouds and the reflection of the moon.’
See the creativity of Shri Mataji, how poetic She was! Then She started to suggest some stars and everything. I was very happy that Mother had suggested a beautiful composition. Although I’m not very good at doing realistic work, somehow I felt that I could do it because Shri Mataji was saying all this to me.
Then She talked about some posters I had made. She saw the Sahasrara chakra — there were nine posters of the subtle system, but each time She just saw the Sahasrara chakra — and looked at the Shri Chakra and the colours I had given.
‘These are the real colours of Sahasrara, all the rainbow colours,’ She said. Then She left for America and I had about a month to develop this picture. I somehow finished up doing the illustration: two beautiful lotuses, one red, one pink, with their roots being eaten by the crocodiles, and the moon, the reflection of the moonlight and everything as She had mentioned. I showed the picture to Shri Mataji at Guru Puja.
‘Oh, it is so beautiful,’ She said.
When She was going back after the puja, She said I had done exactly as She desired. Unfortunately it turned out we could not use it, because the lotus was the symbol of a certain political party. Then Shri Mataji asked me to go and see Her at the castle. She was in a green sari, like Shri Lakshmi. She wears pink as Shri Lakshmi, but when I see Her in green, I think of Shri Lakshmi.
‘You have done such a beautiful work of art, but we cannot use it,’ She said. ‘We have to do something which will really strike, but will avoid political conflicts.’ She went into meditation then said, ‘Do you know the story of the elephant who was caught by the crocodile?’ She explained that Shri Vishnu is in the Nabhi and if you don’t have a good Nabhi, corruption is born out of that. The story is of a king who was turned into an elephant and was then caught by a crocodile. The elephant prayed to Shri Vishnu and He came and destroyed the crocodile and saved the elephant. Shri Mataji recited some shlokas: ‘shankar chakra gada haste.’
‘Beta,’ (which means son) She said, ‘India is full of corrupt people and it needs an incarnation of Shri Vishnu. So you show this story and a crocodile and so on.’ I had just been reading an Amar Chitra Katha illustrated comic about this exact story, called Tales of Vishnu. As Shri Mataji was talking, I gave it to Her.
‘What a miracle!’ She said. ‘I am talking about this and you already have it in your bag!’
‘Shri Mataji, how did You know it was in my bag?’
‘This is what it is, the connection. They have shown a grey elephant and you must show a white elephant because white is the symbol of purity.’ So I painted it, with one leg of the elephant in the mouth of the crocodile and the elephant was terrified and pleading for someone to help it escape. Then Mother saw the painting and liked it very much.
‘Our country is full of crocodiles. Show crocodiles on all the four legs, not just on one leg,’ She said.
I quickly copied the crocodile on the computer and it came out beautifully because the publishers were in a hurry to print the book. But the publishers wouldn’t accept this book cover because it was against their code of colours.
I keep Shri Mataji in my heart
There were washing machines and drying machines in the basement of the Swiss Residence in 2001, at the Easter Puja in Istanbul. We were two ladies taking turns to wash Shri Mataji’s clothes down there, so we used to nicely wrap the clothes to be washed, take them down to the basement, first make sure that inside the machine is clean, place the clothes to be washed and mostly wait there until the programme was over. Then again we wrapped the clothes in a clean sheet, and took them upstairs to iron. To anyone who did not know Shri Mataji this could sound to be an ordinary task, but we were really in heaven to be there, and we knew it!
Once I was in the basement with another yogini. We were both absorbed in the silence. I was to go upstairs, so while the other yogini was still in the laundry I came to the elevators and pressed the call button. I had some clothes of Shri Mataji, wrapped nicely into a clean sheet. I was holding them next to my heart. I waited.
The elevator came, the doors opened, and to my astonishment Shri Mataji was in the elevator seated in Her wheelchair and surrounded by some Sahaja Yogis. At the first moment I felt, ‘Oh, I have brought Shri Mataji down to the basement!’ because She was supposed to go up to Her own apartment. I felt so ashamed! Immediately after, I understood that I could not have done this if She had not allowed it to happen. It was more like She had come to meet me in the basement. Then I felt so grateful, and so looked after. I received Her darshan, and did namaste. She was smiling. The doors closed and the elevator went up.
Much later, I had to move from Istanbul to Abu Dhabi where initially there was practically no collective. Normally I would have felt lonely. But no, I never ever felt lonely. I knew that wherever I am, even in the basement, or at the other end of the world, as long as I keep Her in my heart, She will come to me.
A boat tour with Shri Mataji along the Bosphorus
After an auspicious Easter Puja in April 2001, Shri Mataji stayed a few more days along with Her family members. We were praying – She knows how many million times, ‘Shri Mataji to please stay longer.’ In fact we meant – ‘please do not go.’ The air we were breathing was full of Her heavenly fragrance, love, compassion and care. Every morning was another celebration for us because She was there! To see the divine Mother together with Her family gave us extra joy. The love, care, sweetness and respect were so meaningful as we watched them together.
One sweet day, Shri Mataji wanted to go on a boat tour along the Bosphorus. We were very excited and a small boat was arranged through a Sahaja Yogini. In a short time we were at the coast walking to the boat. The lucky people of Istanbul were watching Shri Mataji and receiving Her darshan. The weather was beautiful. She passed in front of the Rumeli Hisarı, which is an old Ottoman castle whose shape is of the Arabic letters of Allah.
The boat was really small. Shri Mataji walked onto it and sat on Her seat, accompanied by Her family members. Including the leader we were three yogis and were sitting just in front of Her Lotus Feet because there was no other space. Her eyes were looking at us in such a lovely way and were engulfing us in Her compassion. The boat departed slowly and just then a huge group of birds flew towards Her, singing a beautiful melody. As soon as they got close they put on a dance show. It was amazing. She was looking and smiling at them.
We almost forgot to offer Her tea and other small things to eat. The boat went all the way along the European side of the Bosphorus and Shri Mataji put attention on everything.
‘Look at the sun!’ Shri Mataji said while the boat was turning from the European side to the Asian side. We all looked at the sun. ‘Wherever I go, the sun follows Me!’ She said. With Her right hand She pointed at the sun as it was rising over the sea towards us.
It was difficult to keep tears from our eyes. She was shining, the waters of the Bosphorus were very quiet, and our hearts and Istanbul together were saying inside, ‘Bolo Shri Ma – Adi Sakshat!’ After the Asian side was also completely blessed by Her, She returned to the car and to the residence.
Thank You Shri Mataji for all Your attention on Turkey and we pray that entire Turkey becomes Your pure instrument.
Easter Puja, Istanbul, 2001
Shri Mataji watched a Hindi movie
At the Easter Puja, on 22nd April 2001 in Istanbul, Shri Mataji was staying at a hotel six kilometres from the airport. On the Friday and Saturday evenings Shri Mataji attended the programmes at the puja campsite, three kilometres from the airport. During the day She met with the press and media that were interviewing Her. The press officials all received their self realization and found it difficult to leave Her, lost in joy in a state they had never experienced before.
Shri Mataji moved to the Swiss Residence, which was located in the city centre a few kilometres from the hall where She would be having a public programme after the puja on 24th April. A group of Sahaja Yogis were busy preparing the Residence and dinner. We were bustling about, like birds learning how to fly through hotel corridors filled with Her divine fragrance. When at last the puja time arrived, She was ready in time, with Her breathtaking beauty, which seemed impossible for us – it might have been seconds.
Our puja tent was decorated with golden satin and the ceiling was covered in different blue satin. Thousands of small lights covered the ceiling. Everything started shining and carrying us to a higher state when Shri Mataji arrived.
Shri Mataji wanted to return to Her new hotel as soon as the incredible speech, Easter Puja and the gift ceremony were over. The Mercedes that was carrying Shri Mataji, and the car carrying the yogis who would be serving Her, departed immediately. The sky and sea, everything was bowing before Her as Her car glided through the streets. Different figures, colours and shapes were appearing in the sky.
We arrived at the door of the Residence and Shri Mataji entered the lift. As soon as the door closed we saw hotel officials running through the corridors screaming. Obviously something extraordinary was going on. Shri Mataji was there but the people running around seemed quite scared. We tried to catch hold of someone to find out what was happening. They told us to run because terrorists had raided the hotel. Turning our heads we saw fifteen to twenty armed men running towards the building.
Shri Mataji was here with us, we had just performed an incredible puja and Her vibrations had engulfed us so much that our hearts could not feel anything but love and peace for everyone. Carrying the bags with Shri Mataji’s private belongings, we too got in the elevator and went up to Her suite. The police officers did not allow the other Sahaja Yogis who had followed us with their cars into the hotel. Even Shri Mataji’s luggage and clothes were not allowed in. The leader did not say anything to Shri Mataji yet. Shri Mataji said She wanted to watch an Indian movie and started watching one that was similar to the picture outside – men who were surrounding buildings with their guns.
Shri Mataji’s car was still in front of the Residence and had to be parked. Terrorists could have entered the Residence. Recalling what we had seen in action movies, we started listening for voices and went downstairs with the lift. We parked the cars while saying the Bhranti mantra. The entrance to the Residence was like a horror movie. The doors were wide open and not a single hotel official or security guard was in sight. We could see armed men running through the corridors on the monitors along the walls. Jay Jagadambe Jay Jagadambe…
We went back to the suite upstairs. Shri Mataji was still watching the movie. The people there had heard gunshots and two of the bullets had hit the room next to that of Shri Mataji, where the yogis were serving. Even more, one of the bullets had whizzed between two of the yogis and gone through the wall while the other got stuck in the ceiling. The fact that nobody was hurt was only one of the miracles. Nese, the Turkish leader, drew the curtains tightly in Shri Mataji’s room so that nobody could see inside. After the bullet Shri Mataji had to be informed of what was going on outside. Nese explained the situation to Her.
‘It will be alright, I will stay here and it will be over tomorrow morning,’ She said, without any change on Her face, and She gave a bandhan. Then She asked for Her dinner. The leader and I served the food that had been prepared beforehand. Serving Shri Mataji was one of the most wonderful things and that night; this service gave us unprecedented peace, satisfaction and joy. We were practically swimming in vibrations.
Just then they called from the puja tent and said one of the tent’s pillars had collapsed shortly after Shri Mataji departed, and told us that the Sahaja Yogis had encountered much danger. Everything had happened at the same time that evening.
There was a knock on our door. The Hotel Manager had come to tell us that the hotel’s security was insufficient. He wanted us to quietly leave Residence. They were transferring everyone to another hotel. Shri Mataji said She wanted to stay at the Residence and continued watching Her movie. One of our friends who was also staying at the Swiss Hotel that evening, if you can call it a coincidence, called us, and told us the terrorists were trying to find out if there were any renowned people staying at the hotel. We were three women apart from Sadhana Didi, and there was only one man with us, but he had left us.
We locked the not-at-all safe door of the suite, put a couch behind it and started waiting. Shri Mataji went to Her room to sleep. We kept thinking of many different scenarios, but at the same time a power was wiping away our thoughts as they came. We do not know what it did to us but in the end deep sleep took over all of us and we spent the night between sleep and phone calls (Sir CP, the Indian Consulate General, etc).
The terrorists reached an agreement with the Turkish Minister as Shri Mataji was finishing Her breakfast the next morning, at around 11.30 am.
Public programme in Istanbul, 2001
Shri Mataji was covered in a kind of cloud
I was in a hotel in Istanbul in 2001. I was told that I would be serving Shri Mataji. I wore my sari and got ready in excitement. Before we entered, I was asked not to look at Shri Mataji directly, since She was with Her family members. While we were serving the food, I couldn’t keep myself and looked at Shri Mataji, but to my amazement, I couldn’t see Her. She was covered with a kind of cloud, and the rest was clear.
Editor’s note: it was better to see Shri Mataji normally, but as She once said, if we did see Her in ways that were not normal, due to some slight imbalance within us, we did know a little more Who She was.
The roof plan is very important
One day, at the Easter Puja gathering in 2001, Shri Mataji was about to go out from the Swiss Residence. She was going to see some houses, and maybe to buy a house in Istanbul. I was holding the door of the elevator so that when She arrived She would not have to wait. The leader was pushing Her wheelchair, and when they were about to enter the elevator, somehow I told Shri Mataji that I was from Ankara, and am an architect.
‘Really?’ Shri Mataji said. In fact it so happened that, after that puja I never went back to Ankara, and for two years worked as financial advisor in a company having nothing to do with architecture. Now whenever I say I am something, I remember that ‘Really?’
Shri Mataji said that I could go with them to see the houses. I was very happy. I went in the car with the Sahaja Yogi who was running a real estate company, and had presented a selection of photographs of buildings to Shri Mataji. Our car was in front, showing the way, and Shri Mataji’s car followed. We went to a number of very nice looking buildings. Each time we stopped near a building the Sahaja Yogi showed Her the house from a distance and asked if She would like to see it. Each time Shri Mataji did not even get down from the car.
‘No, the vibrations are not good,’ She said each time. At last there were only a few left to see, when in front of one house Shri Mataji looked very pleased. She opened the door of the car, and told us to see the vibrations. She was smiling, and said the vibrations were very good. Then they sent us inside to see it. This one was an irregular building with slightly trapezoidal floor plan and non-parallel walls, organically built by some genuine down to earth family for their own use. It was not a very smart looking building according to the dry Western architecture education I had got in university.
I did not fully understand why Shri Mataji had refused all the other nice looking rectangular buildings and had chosen this humble one which did not even have the walls straight! But I was happy that She was pleased with it and tried to understand the real beauty of the building. I went round the whole house, looking at it, wondering what I could possibly tell Shri Mataji about it when I went downstairs. She asked if I saw the house.
‘Yes Shri Mataji,’ I said.
‘How is it?’ She asked me.
‘It’s very nice Shri Mataji,’ I said.
‘How many bathrooms does it have?’ She then asked. With all the nonsense in my mind about architectural style and all that, I had not even counted the bathrooms! I asked permission to go and count, and ran back into the building.
Eventually the house was to be bought, and I was given the task of drawing it. We took measurements with a couple of Sahaja Yogis, and I spent the night in a Sahaja Yogi’s house at their computer preparing the drawings. It was a three storey building, and there was a small plot of land as a garden. I drew the three floor plans and another ground floor plan showing the garden around it on a fourth sheet of paper. The drawings were taken to Shri Mataji along with some real estate documentation. Then we were called to go into the room, so we went in and sat in front of Shri Mataji. She was looking at the plans I had drawn, and they were talking. Someone said the house has three floors.
‘No, it has four,’ Shri Mataji said. They looked at me,
‘It has three floors,’ I said. She showed me the plans.
‘One, two, three, four,’ She was counting. Then I suddenly understood! In architectural practice the ‘site plan’ showing the garden should have the ‘roof plan’ on it, whereas I had drawn the ‘ground floor plan’ twice, one with the garden, and one without the garden. Naturally when She counted them, there appeared to be four floors! It was a moment to remember; here I was sitting in front of Shri Mataji, and learning how to draw a house from Her.
More vibrations than the Himalayas
When Shri Mataji was in Genoa in 2001, She said there are more vibrations in Genoa than in the Himalayas.
Gian Carlo Fuente
I know how to drive
I live at Cabella, and I drove Shri Mataji’s car for a few years. The main thing I would say about that is after the trip with Shri Mataji, you realised that your attention was not clear enough and was not there enough. Somehow after every trip you realised that you could have put your attention on Her more, and could have taken the opportunity to put your attention on Her presence. But you realised that your attention was not strong and pure enough to take full advantage.
‘I know how to drive, but if I drove, no one would drive for Me,’ She once said to me. She was amazing, She knew each and every road, not only in London where She lived for some years, but also in Italy. I drove Her in London once for about two weeks, and sometimes She directed me – where to go and how to go, and how long it would take to go from one place to another place. She was always right.
Rajeshwara from Italy
Shri Mataji being driven along the driveway to the castle
Mother’s Day 2001
Once Mother mentioned that we should offer our prayers when we give Her flowers. We were all waiting outside the castle at Cabella to receive Her divine darshan on the auspicious occasion of Mother’s Day. I had a huge bouquet in the shape of a heart made of roses, from Austria. As Mother was still resting inside, we all started meditating and I felt to put all the prayers of the yogis from Austria into the bouquet.
‘Please Shri Mataji, accept all our love, devotion, dedication and surrender to Your Lotus Feet,’ I prayed.
Later when we went inside, Shri Mataji took the bouquet of roses in Her left hand and put Her right hand on the bouquet.
‘I give all My blessings,’ She said.
Conversations at Cabella
In May 2001 Shri Mataji invited me to live at Cabella for some time. When I arrived I could hardly walk. The next day Shri Mataji was going out somewhere, and on Her way in She saw me at the door with all the other people, and a lot of us had a flower for Her. I was amazed at what She said – considering it was unbelievably kind of Her to invite me.
‘I am so glad you could come’, She said, and I felt like replying ‘Mother, I’m the glad one, You are just totally gracious and wonderful.’
The next day Shri Mataji called me to Her room and talked to me for over an hour. I thought I would never be like this with Her again. I had to be more or less carried in. It was wonderful to be at Her Feet. Especially Her left Foot was very close to where I was sitting beneath Her. She talked about many things, and towards the end showed me photos of Her great grandchildren, like any proud great grand-mummy. It was indescribably sweet.
‘Now get up and walk. Don’t think about it, just walk. By the way, I have been working on you,’ She said, and I got up and did.
She told me I didn’t need to pay anything, because I was Her guest, but I insisted, because otherwise others finished up paying one’s food and bills, which didn’t seem right. I felt that if I did what was helpful to everyone then somehow the money would turn up from somewhere. So far it has.
‘Where did we find this beautiful country with all these wonderful people in it?’ Shri Mataji said about Italy and the Italians.
On the Foot and Mouth epidemic which was then raging in the UK. She said She didn’t know whether it was worth Her while saying it in public, because who would listen? I replied that even if they didn’t now they would in the future. She said the cause of this disease was quite simple. If one lets the animals out in the fields that are cold and damp and above all chalky or limey, (a lot of the UK is chalk and limestone) then this affects the animals’ feet and mouths. So the solution is to keep the animals in barns, and to bring the food to the animals, not take the animals to the food.
I had a letter from Pat Anslow, thanking Mother for looking after and saving the life of their elder son who has been very seriously ill the year before. It was only when Maureen Rossi, his aunt, got on the phone to Shri Mataji that the doctors were able to stop resuscitating him in the hospital. Mother said that people who had known Her for years, like the Anslows, (two of the first few Sahaja Yogis in the Western world) should let Her know when something serious like this happened. This made me feel better, because I had contacted Mother when I kept getting iller, and She had asked me to come to Cabella, but I was a little unsure about the whole thing. When in England, Pat had told me he had been having the most phenomenal experiences of how the world would be when Sahaja Yoga is really working out. He said it would be so beautiful he really couldn’t describe it – a totally different and transformed world. In the letter he alluded to these experiences, and I noticed that when Mother read that part She seemed to smile and slightly nod as if to say – yes, he’s got it.
You have to cure him
In May, 2001 the younger child, Varada, was sick and Shri Mataji told us to give him vibrations.
‘You have to cure him,’ She looked at me and said. She said ‘you’ in a way that She meant, ‘You have the power to cure.’ So I started working on him, but with a new awareness that somehow Shri Mataji had given me the responsibility and the power to accomplish this job, and in a very little time the child was much better. I really felt at that time how Shri Mataji’s words go very much beyond the literal meaning. Her words have a power beyond imagination and even one word can penetrate deep inside ourselves.
On other occasions I had the privilege of carrying Her chair, with Shri Mataji sitting on it, inside and outside of Her house. On those occasions I always felt the honour of being able to carry Her, and being able to be so near Shri Mataji.
Promise Me that you will not divide
There was a time when, for many years, Shri Mataji would regularly invite leaders and senior yogis to come and meet with Her to discuss various topics related to Sahaja Yoga. During one of these meetings – it was at one of the pujas in Cabella in the spring of 2001 – the following happened.
We, a group of about fifteen leaders, had been invited to meet with Shri Mataji in the castle. In a mood of silent expectation we were sitting in the living room, waiting for Shri Mataji to come from Her room. Normally at the beginning of such meetings Shri Mataji would greet us and perhaps inquire about our wellbeing, saying things like, ‘How are you?’ or ‘How is your job?’ but this time it was different.
After we had been waiting for some time, the door of Her room opened and Shri Mataji appeared, wearing a dark red sari. She greeted us briefly, walked to Her chair, sat down, and immediately started to talk to us in a very decisive manner. In clear words She addressed us, as follows:
‘Now, you must all promise Me that you will not divide amongst yourselves, as you have done with all the others.’
Before we could wonder what She meant and who those ‘others’ were, Shri Mataji continued saying how, after the departure of each incarnation, the followers of that incarnation had invariably started to disagree with each other and started to create division. She explained how at the time of Christ, they had allowed someone like Paul to take hold of the teachings, or how, almost immediately after the demise of Mohammed, human beings took over and created a division. She talked about how in many religions, human beings would change and distort the legacy of that incarnation and create a system out of it.
‘But you must promise Me that you will not do that to Me,’ Shri Mataji said after a while, and, ‘if I am the Adi Shakti, then the one thing you cannot do to Me is that later on you will create division amongst yourselves.’
Shri Mataji appeared very concerned about the prospect that this could happen. She explained how the solution is in the fact that we have vibrations. If we truly are in the state in which the vibrations are guiding our thoughts and deeds then such divisions cannot take place. She warned us that if division and discord do start to show up, it is a sign that we are not in tune with Her and the vibrations. She continued by saying that the other very important asset we have is collectivity. She stressed the importance of collectivity quite a lot, how – as one body – we must stick together and that we really must preserve unity and not allow division to take place. She urged us that if we are Her children, we cannot allow this to happen to Her, and to Sahaja Yoga. That this is a responsibility we have towards creation itself.
‘Now, will you promise to Me?’ She then asked.
‘Mother, we promise You…’ Each one of us, individually and as a group, vowed to our dearest holy Mother Shri Mataji.
Henno de Graaf
A piece of advice
Periodically Shri Mataji would talk to me about the recollections of Her that I had been collecting. One time She had been looking at the draft of the book, and noticed that I had put in what William Blake had said about Chelsham Road.
‘He didn’t only write about your house,’ She said, and I felt She was correcting my ego a bit. I then made sure that I found some other things Mother had told people about William Blake, especially about Her house at Brompton Square.
Later She very graciously said, ‘You have a fair idea of what stories should go in,’ and left the choice to my discretion.
This may be a good place to try and remember some of the wonderful presents Shri Mataji gave me. Regrettably nearly all are no longer with me, because I have moved so many times and have rarely had anywhere safe to store my things.
The greatest present was three locks of Her hair, in a brown carved wooden box. She told me that Her hair is Lord Yama. When we first got realisation She said there were evil people trying to kill us, and that hair would protect me.
When Shri Mataji came to Crosscraig for the seminar, She gave me a beautiful brown silk sari, and an incredible ruby and gold necklace. Then when She came the second time, She gave me a statue of Lord Brahmadeva giving Shri Parvati to Shri Shiva in marriage. It was quite small, about eighteen inches high, and wood, and very old. Later She also gave me a ceramic statue of Lord Ganesha, about a foot high. It is brown and glazed and came from a village pottery She had started. She also gave me a wooden statue of Lord Shiva in meditation.
Shri Mataji gave me a blue and white cotton sari and told me to cut it up and give half to another lady, and to make it into a dress for my daughter.
When I was pregnant with my son, Shri Mataji gave me a cotton sari in blue and pink, Rajasthani style. When he was born Shri Mataji brought me a bunch of flowers in a copper vase and She insisted I kept the vase. She also gave me a beautiful emerald ring and a matching pair of earrings at this time.
Then another great present was a child’s dress, for my daughter. It was made of the sari which Shri Mataji wore in the classic photo, and it was pink and gold, not blue or orange as it is sometimes coloured. The dress had been made for Shri Mataji’s granddaughter, but she had grown out of it and Mother gave it to my daughter.
Then She gave me a pair of Her shoes – black leather with small heels.
Shri Mataji gave me a mangal sutra.
She gave me many saris, and one was from Her trousseau, She told me. It was purple with a real silver border. She also gave me a lovely yellow checked one, and a greenish one in a print silk. She gave me one which was yellow with a red border and She said it had started off white, and She had had it dyed. Shri Mataji wore it at a puja at Dhulia in 1980 or thereabouts.
Shri Mataji gave me one of pale grey silk with a design of flowers in purple and green, and it had a purple border. She said the flower design had been put on later.
The first time we went on the India tour, in 1983, She gave us all Madhubani pictures. I had one of Shri Bhairava and one of Shri Adi Shakti. She also gave me some children’s paintings of the Three Magi, which She herself had worked on to touch them up, and a blue wall hanging of Lord Krishna.
She gave me a set of handmade pottery plates, that was a Christmas present. Then, one year we had the Christmas Puja on Christmas Day at Chelsham Road and I gave Her, on behalf of all of us, a pair of gold earrings in the shape of lilies, but She said that it was too soon to offer Her gold, so She gave them back to me and told me to keep them.
In 1982 She gave me a beautiful red sari – Banares style – and wrapped me up in it. She said it was the colour of the right heart chakra and represented Lord Rama, who would always protect me.
When I was briefly back in London in 1986, Shri Mataji gave me a lovely red and white dress for my daughter and a little suit for my son.
In India She gave the children a little toy cooking set in brass – cooker, spoons, a little tava for making miniature chapattis etc.
India tour presents included many beautiful handloom cotton saris, four per year, many mats to sit on while on the tour and then to take home, a large white woollen shawl, almost a blanket, little Ganeshas, and on two different occasions copper plates for puja.
When I lived at Shudy Camps in 1988-9, She gave me a blue and white cotton sari with a design of little six pointed chakras on it, just before I went to South Africa. When I was about to go, She told me to help myself to anything I might need to start a centre from the attic of Shudy Camps, where all the things from ashrams which had closed down were stored. I took some videos, puja utensils, pictures and so on. She later gave us a silver gilt lamp for oil, very large, and a little tray for kumkum and oil.
A few months after I started the centre in Cape Town Shri Mataji gave me a beautiful sari, and the blouse to go with it, which She had worn at the Mahalakshmi Puja at Mechelen.
She also gave me a beautiful red and gold shawl at the Navaratri Puja in Margate, in 1989, after I had been doing Sahaja Yoga in Cape Town for some months.
When I was at the Diwali Puja at Novi Ligure in 1998 She insisted I took a bigger present than the earrings on offer for the hosting country present, and handed me a necklace.
At Cabella, in 2001, She did the same thing, and gave me a costume gold necklace, very pretty, from the Far East. The next puja I was up on the stage giving a present and Shri Mataji said, ‘What a nice necklace. Where did you get it?’
I am only one of thousands of people She gave presents to, so it shows how many presents Mother gave to us, Her children!
The two people must talk to each other
When Shri Mataji was in Genoa in 2001 She talked about Princess Diana. She said she was a realised soul, and did not grasp her role as a Gruha Lakshmi. Shri Mataji said that she did not talk to Prince Charles enough. Shri Mataji said that in a Sahaja marriage the two people who are married must talk to each other, and that the Sahaja Yogis don’t talk to each other enough.
Gian Carlo Fuente
The ceasefire lasted seven weeks
It was the beginning of June 2001 at the Shri Adi Shakti Puja in Cabella, Italy. It was a weekend when there was a suicide attack in a discothèque in Tel Aviv, Israel, and things were looking very grim. In the leader’s meeting Mother said She was very concerned about Israel. In the puja talk She spoke of all the wars in the world and how serious things were in all the parts of the world where there was conflict.
I went up with flowers on behalf of Israel after the puja, and felt really bad and weak at the knees, I could barely stand. It was as if Mother knew because She looked at me.
‘How are you?’ She said, as if She was aware that I was not ok.
‘Please save Israel,’ I said, I don’t know where from. ‘Please save Israel,’ I repeated.
‘Write it down,’ Mother smiled and said, so I thought She meant to make a bandhan.
‘To write it down?’ I said, to make sure, and She looked at me.
‘Write down what you want Me to do,’ She repeated. I stepped off the stage, quite perplexed, not really knowing what She meant. Next to me were some ladies who suggested I write a letter to Mother expressing my prayers and wishes. So I wrote there and then, actually sitting in the puja hangar. I wrote from my heart, asking Mother to save the children of both the Palestinians and the Israelis before they should be got hold of by this hatred.
When I finished writing, I put my hand down, and felt a strong cool breeze tumbling from the stage where Mother was sitting; it washed over the writing paper and my hand as if She was reading what I had written.
Following this incident, there was an unexpected and unprecedented ceasefire, which lasted seven weeks.
It just flows without thought
People ask what it is like to do the puja, to be the pujari. Doing puja to Mother was a wonderful thing, fantastic. It’s like you were not really doing it, just helping. Things just flowed so fast, and somehow you knew what to do at the right time – you knew what to get. Maybe you forgot something, but it didn’t matter. Maybe that was meant to be forgotten. Some people did panic, but Shri Mataji told you and She did say what She wanted all the time.
‘Give Me this,’ or ‘Give Me that,’ She would say, if something was not right. It just flowed without thought and sometimes it was so fast, but you didn’t worry. And everything worked out.
Some Sahaja Yogis in front of Shri Mataji at Cabella, 2001
A wonderful level we can all attain
The first time I saw Shri Mataji was in 2001 at the Royal Albert Hall, and I had a wonderful experience. We were sitting in the hall, which was nearly full, waiting for Shri Mataji, and suddenly the wind started to blow, very gently, soft and fresh, and I asked myself what was going on, because it was not possible that the wind could blow like that in this hall. Suddenly I understood that maybe Shri Mataji must have arrived. Just a few moments after this happened, someone come to announce that She had arrived. It was the cool vibrations that were blowing.
A few minutes after Shri Mataji arrived and sat in front of us, I felt something like energy but it was very cool and strong, coming from the sky and passing into the whole of my left side, like a big tube. My head was moving towards my right side to let this energy pass through me, and it was as if I was unconscious. This energy was aware of everything in me.
After a short time it stopped and I was feeling very nice. At that moment I didn’t really realise what had happened, but the day after the programme, I was in total thoughtless awareness, and had no doubts at all. This remained for three days. I understood that Shri Mataji wanted to make me feel and experience the level we can attain. It was wonderful. So far I haven’t reach this level, but I hope one day we will all be there.
Meeting the nice lady
I wanted to share a story that took place with my daughter during the public programme in the Albert Hall in 2001. Before the programme, my daughter had been persistently difficult, causing me to give her a stern telling off – something I rarely did. Shaking with indignance and rage she cried herself to sleep, missing the whole programme and subsequent realisation that Mother gave to the thousands gathered below us. As I looked lovingly at my daughter sleeping peacefully, Mother started to invite all the children onto the stage.
‘Daddy, I want to go onto the stage and meet the nice lady,’ were Louisa’s first waking words, as if by some pre-arranged divine plan. However as we were on the top floor balconies I couldn’t see any way that I could get there in time, and tried to discourage her, but she was having none of it. ‘Daddy, I really want to meet Her!’ and sweeping her up, the crowds parted as fellow brothers and sisters parted in a wave of encouragement, ushering her onto the stage where she ran up and was cuddled and kissed by Mother.
Climbing down off the stage, one was struck by the serenity that had overcome the hyper-active little five year old girl, and indeed she sat and slept peacefully in the car on the two hour drive home, not waking until mid-day on the morrow, when she still radiated that atypical peace and stillness.
A pair of silver chappals
In July 2001 Shri Mataji was in England for the Albert Hall Programme, and I was helping look after Her in Her house at Ealing. I always thought, over the years, that maybe Mother didn’t know me any more, because although She had spoken a lot to my family She hadn’t spoken to me since I was a little girl. A silly human thought, but I had the chance to go down into Mother’s dining room at Ealing with my oldest friend in Sahaja Yoga, and I was to give Shri Mataji a pair of silver padukar, chappals for puja. My father wanted me to ask Shri Mataji to vibrate them for Scotland.
There was just my friend and myself in the dining room at Shri Mataji’s Feet. My friend started to introduce me, and Shri Mataji interrupted her.
‘I’ve known her since she was a little girl,’ She said. At this point my mouth nearly hit the floor, as I couldn’t believe it. She asked all about my family, and how they all were, and She knew every detail.
I felt completely awestruck
Shri Mataji took the padukar (chappals) and looked at them closely. She laughed and told us that the jeweller always made the bit at the front too big for Her toes! When Shri Mataji put Her Feet onto the silver I suddenly felt an immense rush of power that was being pulled towards the silver at Shri Mataji’s Feet. She was silent for a short time, then the power dissipated and then said that the padukar were ready. It was as though a huge amount of vibrations had been put into the silver, perhaps charging up every single part of the molecular structure so that in perpetuity they would resonate with Shri Mataji’s presence.
At that time I was in the first year of my PhD, the subject of which was the effect of antibiotics on the immune response of healthy human cells. Mother asked me how it was going and then spoke to Alexandra and myself for some time about antibiotics, saying that on the whole they were very bad as they prevented the body from doing its job properly, but that in severe cases they were necessary. She did say that modern medication was a gift from God and we should use it to protect ourselves from illness and disease. Shri Mataji also told us that the drug companies were not good as they held back drugs that would help people so that the companies could make more money out of their older drugs.
As always when in Shri Mataji’s presence I felt completely awestruck. Whenever I was blessed to be in Her presence and She spoke to me personally I always felt Her great love not only as the Goddess but also on a more personal note.
You are all just Her children (written in 2001)
It’s quite confusing sometimes when you go to Mother. You walk into the room and there may be some people there already. They may be leaders and they may be talking about something. She will start speaking to you about something connected to Sahaja Yoga. Maybe someone comes out of the room and they are being very secretive about it. Then you go in and Mother speaks to you as if you are completely in the know and She will just turn to you and talk to you about the problem, as if you are completely involved in it. She doesn’t have this thing where She talks about this thing with one person and another thing with another person. You are just all Her children and, if you are there, She will bring you in and will talk to you about it. Sometimes it is very difficult because She will assume you know everything, when, in fact, you don’t.
Shri Mataji might, for example, be talking about the house in Genoa and there are all kinds of problems — getting permission to do this, how things work there, organizing the food, paying the bills or whatever. You may walk into the room and She will be talking to someone about this, and then She will start speaking to you about this. To begin with, this dumbfounds you, but after a while I realize that it is this attitude of — She isn’t going to treat this person in a special way and that person in another way.
One example of this was a beautiful experience I had with Shri Mataji in Her apartment in Cabella. She had just washed Her hair and She wanted to dry it, so She sat in the big windows which look out over the valley. It was a beautiful sunny day and She sat on the chair with Her hair towards the sun — and asked me to sit at Her Feet and massage them.
I sat there and massaged Her Feet and that itself would have been enough, and then She started telling jokes. She had us in fits of hysterics and was telling these really funny stories. She was really making me laugh, again symptomatic of this way She had of just bringing everyone in, irrespective of who you were or where you came from.
A very devotional dance
Four months before the Guru Puja 2001 I dreamed that I was with a lot of ladies, and we were following Shri Mataji, who was a young teacher of dance. She was turning and dancing so fast. We were wearing saris and were on the stage at Cabella.
Then a lady from Como asked me to be in a very devotional dance to do in front of Shri Mataji at the puja. It was to the song Vande Mataram. During the practices we felt very good, almost crying with devotion. When we were in front of Shri Mataji it was totally different, I was very emotional my heart was very open, and the movements were like offering all my love and devotion to Her. I felt the energy went from my heart to Her, full of gratitude to dance for Her.
Daniella from Milan
A havan to clear the house
There was a period when we had some negativity in the house, in Italy, and I had a chance to speak to Shri Mataji about it. She suggested that we should do a havan in the house, just me and my wife, to get rid of the negativity. So we did a havan in the middle of the lounge, and put a little fire there, and the negativity was destroyed.
Immediately my toothache was gone
I was at Cabella, at a Guru Puja, and was watching Shri Mataji on the big screen in the hangar during the puja, as She was giving the talk. However, because of the pain in my tooth I couldn’t concentrate much and was just holding my head. As I watched the screen Shri Mataji suddenly made a gesture as to flick a little piece of dust off Her face, and immediately my toothache was gone.
A slightly different flavour
Each puja had a slightly different flavour and atmosphere, and we could never predict what that woulld be. This is because, for example, in Guru Puja 2001, Shri Mataji was like a mother. I didn’t feel any element of the distant guru, but in another puja after that, I felt that completely. There was a distance, a withdrawn feeling – not involved in the mundane, not involved in the humans around there.
Photo: Guru Puja 2001
Havan in the courtyard, Guru Puja 2001
The part where you make a mistake (written in 2001)
There is traditionally a part of the puja where you have to make a mistake. Inevitably, you can never expect the unexpected because Shri Mataji never does the same thing twice. Very often She will ask you what is to be done next and She will ask you what song should be sung or She will point to something and you have to guess what has to be done, which is a test, in a way, to see if you are on the ball.
Very often Shri Mataji is quite strict on the stage and She doesn’t like to waste time. There is a race to get everything done fast enough. That is probably why we share the job between three or four people. When She starts, She doesn’t like to be there too long.
There is often something wrong with the elements. For instance, the water may be too cold or too hot. If it is too hot, you have to have cold water to cool it down and if it is too cold you must have hot water to warm it and you have to quickly mix it to sort it out.
Shri Mataji might ask for something which we haven’t got. For example, one time She asked for kumkum, so we brought Her the powdered kumkum, which She normally uses for the bindi.
‘No, no,’ Shri Mataji said, so we brought Her the liquid kumkum, which She has us put on Her Feet. She looked at us and we could see we had misunderstood Her. What She meant was She wanted powdered kumkum to put on Her Feet instead of the elements. We hadn’t prepared anything of this sort, so we had to rush round and find something. Luckily, we did find some, which we had there, but not so much.
Like a party for them (written 2001)
When Shri Mataji comes in and goes out from the castle, She always takes the flowers from the children. When She arrives, She always takes the flowers from them, even if She goes out two or three days running. One day in 2001, She went out and the children were not there because they were in the school.
‘The children are not here,’ She said. When She came back from Genoa at night, She was so happy to see them and said, ‘Ah, here they are.’
Shri Mataji is so patient because sometimes it is too much to receive all the children — at least twelve — and their flowers and their drawings. Last year, I was in Shri Mataji’s kitchen cooking and my daughter was there doing her homework and also Bibi, Rosario’s son.
‘Come, Shri Mataji wants to see the children,’ someone said.
‘How are you? Sit down,’ She said to them. She gave them sweeties and asked them if they liked the school. My daughter said she did, but Bibi said he didn’t very much. ‘Maybe we can make a school here in the castle,’ She said.
She also asked my daughter, Radhika, about her little sister, Puja, and Radhika told Shri Mataji that Puja was in the kindergarten. They stayed with Her for a while, meditating, and then they came out. It was very nice.
When Shri Mataji comes back from India, they normally sing songs for Her or do something like that. The children see Shri Mataji all the time and they are very happy because it is like a party for them to go and give the flowers.
Pictures for Shri Mataji
In 2001 there was a lovely evening when all the children had drawn pictures for Shri Mataji. My children had done that, and She took them in the big salone. They had all drawn something – one little girl had done something with a lot of colour.
‘There is a horse here,’ Shri Mataji said – we couldn’t see a horse, just colour. My son had done some round things like a Kundalini, and most of them had drawn swans.
‘They are like hamsa, swans, all of you have drawn hamsa,’ Mother said. The children were from two to ten years of age.
We often had a chance to give Her flowers, and She told us how the mothers should be. She said we should be sweet to them and ask them where their attention is. Once when Shri Mataji came from America She said how the children are left alone there and the parents don’t look after them at all. She also said that in Italy people are too attached to their families and children – but in one way it is good because the Italian mothers are strong. She said children have very good attention, so they should learn computers, and if the attention is good then they are good at computers. We must always have loving attention on the children.
The cleansing that was beginning in Colombia
Six years ago we had a great experience which helped us to spread Sahaja Yoga. It was because we met Shri Mataji that we started to look for all the possibilities to go to all the different places: schools, government ministries, the army, universities, government secretaries and even the President’s office, because there is a great strength that allows us to communicate Sahaja Yoga.
In the village of Canajoharie, the Colombian ladies prepared for the arrival of Shri Mataji to America and decorated the house for Her. It was on the occasion of the Shri Krishna Puja in 2001 and we had the great opportunity to be near Her. The night Shri Mataji came, we saw how our leader, in the company of other yoginis, welcomed Shri Mataji with the aarti, garlands, flowers and perfumes.
Shri Mataji and the ladies from Colombia
Our leader felt that it was a good moment to explain to Shri Mataji the violent situation that existed in Colombia at that moment. While Mother was looking at the newspaper where all that news appeared, I bowed my head towards Her Lotus Feet and not even for a single moment did I stop asking forgiveness for all the Colombian men and women. That moment I felt something like a powerful ray of energy inside, that flowed through all my chakras and that went in different directions – up and down – horizontally and in every direction, within me. My face was full of heat, and I went on asking for forgiveness. I did not feel fear, because I said to myself, ‘I am in front of the Goddess and anything that happens has to happen.’
The next day Shri Mataji went out to drink tea in the garden of the house. We were my friend Sonia and I, and Shri Mataji asked us to pour water onto Her Feet, that were on the green grass. As the water ran over Her Feet, the earth absorbed it with such power that we felt it. For us, this had the meaning of a puja. With all our beings we experienced the cleansing that was beginning to happen in Colombia at that time. When Shri Mataji fixed Her eyes, and glanced in a penetrating way towards me I have never seen such big eyes, while She was talking to me.
We went back to the hangar, where we were sleeping, full of joy. Everything was love and happiness. We had had the biggest gift, smiles and answers from our Divine Mother.
When we went back to Colombia this desire to transmit Shri Mataji’s teachings with great compassion in our hearts was awakened within us, and from this moment we were able to go to people in important and responsible positions to give realisation.
Shri Mataji and Sir CP drinking tea in the garden
Welcome to America
When I arrived in America it was the spring of 2001. The same year, I attended the Shri Krishna Puja at Canajoharie in the presence of Shri Mataji. At the end, She offered presents to the American leaders. I was also called on the stage, and Mother gave me a wonderful painting by Roybal.
‘I know you appreciate arts,’ She said. To me, this was a kind of, ‘Welcome to America.’
To feel as a part of Shri Mataji
More than twelve years ago, before coming into Sahaja, I suffered a hip fracture and prosthesis was placed in my hip after a painful accident, which to my good fortune brought me into Sahaja Yoga. For that reason, I cannot sit in lotus position and is not easy for me to sit on the floor.
In July 2001 at Canajoharie, we were at a leaders meeting with Shri Mataji and sitting at Her Feet for several hours. I had to change positions because of the prosthesis. Our Holy Mother asked me to come closer to Her and I was blessed that She put Her Divine Foot on my leg. I surrendered completely and went immediately into thoughtless awareness. Shri Adi Shakti gave me the privilege to feel as a part of Her.
It was a unique, timeless and joyful experience of feeling one with the Divine.
Shri Mataji understands
We were down in Genoa, in August 2001. Shri Mataji bought a villa there and She was sorting it out and looking after it. There was work to be done and She had a furniture exhibition there and we were all helping.
In the afternoon, a lady came in, a Sahaja Yogini, and asked if she could do some cooking for the yogis, but because Shri Mataji had a room next to the kitchen, they didn’t want to disturb Her. So they wanted to get Her permission. The people said this lady had taken three weeks off work to come and cook for everybody.
‘Yes, of course, you can go in the kitchen. After all, I was the housewife and I know about these things,’ said Shri Mataji. She understands.
The view from Shri Mataji’s villa in Genoa
My dream became a reality
I had a dream that I wanted to see whales. I was with Shri Mataji in Her house in Genoa, Italy in September 2001 and one evening She invited us to watch the TV with Her. I sat next to Her and was surprised at the amazing pictures of nature from around the world that we saw. Suddenly, beautiful pictures came from Newfoundland and, of course, with a lot of whales.
I got my desire and was overjoyed to watch these beautiful whales together with Shri Mataji. So my dream became a reality, in one way.
The hallway of Shri Mataji’s Genoa villa
Every desire is taken are of
I’ll never forget the first time I went to Caxton Hall in the summer of 1982, and Shri Mataji took my fringe out of my eyes and stroked my cheek. I’d always secretly longed for Her to stroke my cheek again and just after I was married and Mother came to Genoa, we met Her and leant into Her car to give Her some flowers – and to my utter joy and surprise She reached out and stroked my cheek in just the same way as when I was a child. Amazing how every detail of our lives and our desires and our needs is taken care of.
The attention of Shri Mataji (written in 2001)
I was lucky enough to go to Cabella, because my husband was helping with the villa in Genoa. So it was just he and I went to talk to Shri Mataji. I thought I would be waiting in the kitchen, but I was asked to go in too and we were with Her for three hours. Mother was very sweet and said She had known me since I was very little. She asked if I was happy with my marriage and if my parents were happy with the marriage, and how my brother was. She had never spoken to my brother because he came to Sahaja Yoga much later than the rest of us.
‘Oh, he’s a sweety pie, I know him,’ She said. She was so caring and asked if I was learning Italian, and said not to worry, it would come.
All the time I was there, She had Her Foot out of Her sari. I was sitting right in front of Her Foot, and for the whole conversation Her Left Nabhi toe was pointing at me and She was moving it at me and I kept being blasted by vibrations. I knew this was because I needed it – it was a blessing because of various situations which had to be resolved at that time.
When we eventually left She said to please send Her love to all my family, and She said my mother and father were very good people, and that my husband was very saintly. She looked me very strongly in the face and said this. That was enough for my lifetime, my present for the whole of this life and all the lives before. But I realise that whether She talks to a person or not, the attention She has when She does talk to you is the same attention as She has for everybody, and the attention that She put on my marriage is the attention She puts on all the marriages.
Shri Mataji’s energy working through us
One of the first times Shri Mataji received us at the castle, She invited us to talk to Her because we were looking for a place to make an Indian restaurant in Genoa. Another time which was very nice was when Shri Mataji was at the villa in Genoa one evening. It was two o’clock in the night and everyone was unpacking ceramics and things for the exhibition we were to have there. These were all handmade ceramics which had come in a container from India, and were to be sold there. We were preparing something for Shri Mataji and Her cook was also there.
We had been very busy because Mother had asked us to put a lot of cow dung on the ground in the front of the villa there. At first we didn’t take it seriously, when Shri Mataji asked us to bring the cow dung from Cabella. Then she asked us to mix it with water and put it on the ground. She said that cow dung has very cool vibrations because the cow is the first incarnation of the Goddess.
We all enjoyed this special evening. It was nice to see how Shri Mataji managed all these people and how they could work so well together and with such energy. We really felt it was Shri Mataji’s energy working through us.
Do Jihad with yourself
I was in Shri Mataji’s room, and She started talking about the happenings of those days (September 11th 2001).
‘Do you know what the meaning of Jihad is? It means purification,’ She said. You have to do Jihad with yourself. Everyone has to do Jihad with the six enemies which are inside us.
They are all protected
Shri Mataji spoke to my husband and me in 2001. Among other things She spoke about America, because it was soon after the September 11th disaster. She spoke about George Bush and said he was a real gem, and that She was communicating with him all the time. She said how pleased She was to hear that all the Sahaja Yogis that worked in those two towers (The World Trade Centre) got out all right. She looked so proud of Sahaja Yoga and so proud of the vibrations; proud of the protection of the divine.
‘See, they are all protected,’ She said. She looked away into the distance with such an expression on Her face – you can’t describe that face of Mother – but Her expression seemed to express that world of divine justice, where it really is just. The divine justice is there as a complete rock, just a paradise if we can jump into this world.
A letter to the President of the USA
Concerning a letter Shri Mataji sent to George Bush:
‘Did you see the letter which was sent to the President?’ Shri Mataji said. After that his speech was so good.
The Irish peace process
Seamus Harten went to a puja with some new people from Ireland and a conversation took place between Shri Mataji and one of the new ladies.
‘We need peace,’ Shri Mataji said.
Very soon after that the peace process started in Northern Ireland. It seemed impossible that this could happen but it did and it was a complete miracle.
It gets better. At the Navaratri Puja in Greece in 2001, we went on stage with a gift from Ireland. At that time the peace process was in some trouble and Mother asked how it was in Ireland. I was still quite new in Sahaj, and excited to be in Her presence,
‘It’s not going well,’ I blurted out, and mentioned Tony Blair and some other leader too.
‘Ah, it’s gone to their heads,’ Shri Mataji replied, and lifted Her hand and touched Her head. It was very powerful, the way She said it and waved Her hand. This was amazing, it was as if She had been following the process and knew everything.
I cannot forget those words, but the miracle was that the next day even the Greek newspapers had big headlines that the IRA had agreed to decommission their weapons. This had been a huge sticking point in the negotiations as the IRA always saw themselves as an army, but now an Ulster Unionist leader and his sworn enemy of the IRA share power, and they are traveling to other conflict areas in the world now to show people how these differences can be overcome for the sake of peace.
Mother’s message for Ireland
After Navaratri Puja in Greece in 2001 I went up to the stage along with the rest of the Irish collective to offer the national gift to Mother.
When we had offered the gift to Her, She said this. It is not an exact quote but very close to what Mother said, as I remember.
‘Any island which moves away from the main land has always had problems. I know the English have been difficult to you in the past but they have always been good to Me. You can be great too, why not! But first you have to go back, to get your powers.’
After this experience I felt amazing, it felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Years of conditionings had been removed in an instant.
The human behaviour of the Goddess
I call this story the human behaviour of the Goddess. It happened at a Navaratri Puja, in Greece in 2001. I went to this puja with another Brazilian yogini, Francisca, one of the first yogis in Brazil.
I used to have long hair and decided to cut it very short. Then, I had the idea that women in Sahaja Yoga were supposed to have long hair as a sign of femininity. So I felt a bit shy and guilty with my short hair when I went up on the stage to offer the gift after the puja, for Brazil. The moment arrived to give the gift, a very nicely carved bird, made from wood, with flowers around it, made by a Brazilian artist. We were very well dressed, in beautiful saris, and with many jewels to be in Shri Mataji’s presence.
We did namaskar, and I showed Her the present, but She did not look at it. She looked very fixedly at both of us. I tried to explain about the carving – but She continued looking at us.
‘Where are you from?’ She asked.
‘Brazil, Shri Mataji,’ I answered.
‘Oh, but you look like Indians!’ She continued.
At that moment I felt She was reacting to my hair, in a simple, compassionate and human way. As if to say, ‘I do not mind about the hair, I love you.’
At Navaratri Puja 2001, I was one of two American yogis fortunate enough to come to Greece after the tragedy of September 11th. I was very overwhelmed to be able to go to Mother’s Feet and offer the present from USA to Mother.
I was with a very good, very sensible yogini. We were waiting to give the gift, and then there was a big commotion. One by one, the former World Leaders approached us, telling us that we needed to protect Shri Mataji from a horrible Greek woman who wanted to approach Her.
The sensible, mature USA yogi by my side showed great dignity and discretion by ignoring these requests, maintaining neutrality, whereas I, all of 23, newly married in Sahaja Yoga, and sadly quite stupid, was caught up in an illusory idea that I could in fact protect Shri Mataji from anything.
So after some weak efforts to stand between the woman and Mother, the woman ultimately prevailed. She spent some time at Mother’s Feet, and I watched closely for signs that she was being troublesome, but I didn’t see any; she was certainly very passionate but Mother seemed to be enjoying her company.
Afterwards, Mother blasted the leaders for trying to prevent the woman from seeing Her. She really told them off, and then invited the woman to stand and voice her grievances. I still remember the woman’s trembling voice as she explained how she had been marginalized in her collective.
Just when I thought it was over, and that perhaps somehow my complicity had escaped detection, Mother turned and smiled directly at me. I was only a few metres away, She smiled straight into my face, and in that moment, I felt so much shame that I nearly left the pendal. She knew that I had blindly followed again, instead of using the discrimination She was trying to develop in me. I have never felt so diminished.
It is very hard to be a leader and I am glad it is a test I have not had on my shoulders. I admire the great work that leaders of the past have done to build the foundations of Sahaja Yoga. But I hope that I will not follow anyone blindly, ever again, because I cannot forget the weight of Mother’s smile.
On a lighter note, also in that experience Mother asked me if I was a dancer. Until that point, I was a secret dancer, every day. I used to put on bhajans and dance joyfully and innocently around the kitchen when no one was there. And She knew.
Also, while I was at Her Feet, there was a moment when She asked me, ‘Are you pregnant yet?’
I don’t know if She asked me out loud or in some separate dimension, because when I glanced at the other yogini she didn’t seem to hear anything. Within two months of returning from Greece, I was pregnant with our first son. I didn’t realise that it had happened until I stood up before Mother in Lake Piru at Diwali Puja in 2001 and felt a sudden faintness. Then suddenly I knew without a doubt that my son was coming.
I could help the Adi Shakti
It was in Athens, after the Navaratrii Puja 2001. Shri Mataji was about to leave the stage. There was a little step at the side, and it would have been easy not to see it and fall. Shri Mataji could not see the step.
‘It is here, it is there,’ the people near Her said, and so on. So I put my hand on the step so She could see it, how it was a different height from the stage.
‘Now it is all right,’ She said. She took some time to move, and when She moved Her Feet She said something about not falling. I was there with my hand, and She put Her hand on my hand for support. At that moment my hand was so strong, that it did not move at all, and gave Her time to regain Her balance. Then She went to the car.
I know that the moments after the puja are important and one should not go too near to Shri Mataji, at least on the stage, but I had the feeling that She had fulfilled my desire to greet Her, in a very beautiful manner, giving me the feeling that small as I am, I could help the Adi Shakti.
Navaratri Puja Athens, 2001
The air-conditioning was not on
We were in Athens in October 2001. It was a warm evening and Shri Mataji was giving a public programme in a hotel there. At the end of the programme, Shri Mataji gave the experience of self realisation. Nearly all the people who had come for the first time said they had indeed felt a cool breeze, on their hands and above their heads, but some insisted it was the air conditioning.
Someone went to find the hotel staff to ask them to please turn it off, and the staff, when found, said it was not on in the first place.
The transformation of humanity
When Shri Mataji returned from Navaratri Puja in Greece, in 2001, it was very late at night, but nevertheless, our compassionate and ever caring Mother invited all of us staying at Cabella into the big room. She looked out across the valley, out of the big windows of the large reception room and one could see the lights of the village outside. One amazing thing I recall was this.
‘The transformation of humanity has to take place in My lifetime,’ Shri Mataji said at one point.
A love attack
In November 2001, Shri Mataji expressed a desire, after the 9/11 attacks, that a minimum of 800 yogis should come to America for the Diwali Puja. A big group came from Austria and we were split on two flights, one on Alitalia, the other on Swissair. Two days before the departure we came to know that Shri Mataji would be on the Alitalia flight and – of course – I was booked on the other one. I desperately wanted to be on the same flight as Shri Mataji and eventually and miraculously managed it.
I arrived, shining and with a singing heart, with a big group of Austrian yogis at Milan Airport, where we waited for Shri Mataji.
‘Now I am going to America with all my astras,’ She looked at us and said when She arrived. Austria is the land of the astras, the weapons of the Devi. Then She said something like ‘This is a love attack on America.’
An ancient swayambhu
At the Diwali Puja in 2001 I had the opportunity to ask Shri Mataji about the Ale Stenar (Ale’s Stones) which are situated at a forty minute drive from Malmö in the south of Sweden.
I asked Shri Mataji what it was. She answered that She had to go there to decide what it was. Then I asked if it is a swayambhu.
‘Yes,’ She answered clearly.
‘It is too perfect to be manmade,’ I continued.
Then She compared it with Stonehenge, which is also a swayambhu with very nice vibrations.
Shri Mataji continued regarding the Ale Stenar saying that they are very old.
‘How old?’ I asked.
‘Very old,’ She answered, ‘the people who lived there where very spiritual but then there was a gap until now.’