Children

The children are produced and cared for by the wife, the shakti or power of the family, who has all the qualities of motherhood; It is important not to quarrel before the children, nor to say “I hate you”, nor to chastise the children, but to give them dignity, by providing them with a ‘nest’ in which to grow. They depend on the mother for love and guidance. If the wife starts competing with the husband, then the children and family suffer (1981-0328); When dealing with your children you should sit down together and discuss with each other, how we are going to improve the children, and never have ‘two views’. Never support your child if he is doing wrong, and if any Sahaja Yogi says that ‘this is wrong’, then you should take notice of that (1987-1230.1)

We should not hold on to our children in the presence of others, but should let them be with others; In India, parents give their children to sleep with their relatives, not with themselves. The psychology is that the child gets used to another man, or another woman… while they are innocent. So the relationship of innocence is developed, and nobody feels anything funny if somebody touches you, later on; Let the children be with other people… don’t have fears… they will love you much more; Overprotected children are very dangerously placed, because they have no immunity for anything (1985-0421); Ladies in the ashram, should not sit in one’s own room with the child, but should do work (of the ashram – Ed), and let their children play with the others (1985-0421)

It is natural to be collective… for a child to mix up with others, to talk to others… if you don’t allow the child to do, then he becomes perverted… he has problems. So give them a better life, a better situation, a better education and a better discipline, because you are equipped… don’t give them what ‘you’ had. The amount of discipline they have is coming from you… how far you are disciplined. They know that you are depending on them, that you can’t exist without them… they have this idea, so they don’t listen to you. But if they know that they will lose your love if they don’t behave, they will be alright… they are very intelligent (1985-0421); So, dealing with children… always make yourself an example… and part and parcel of that advice; There is one thing I tell you… they can give up everything… but not your love. If they know you love them… they will not accept anything that will make you not love… not love ‘them’… this is for definite (1997-0823.1)

The same dharma is for your children… that you bring up your children, not troubling them too much… but into a free life… let them use their wisdom. Sometimes I know, children go astray, and try to follow wrong things… then you must correct… you must tell them… it’s your duty… and that correction should be in a Sahaj way (1997-0823.1); Don’t be harsh with them… you see, children should not be ‘made’ to do something… they themselves will start doing… after some time… when they see you doing… but don’t spoil them… that’s the point is – we must see the discretion about it. Encourage them to be generous… to be sharing… to be compassionate… to be kind to others. But, if they are rude, or if they are harsh, or you find they are quarrelling… then you can slap them… it’s alright… yes you have to… for 5 yrs you have to do that… in case, I mean… it’s not a religious duty! (1988-0921); Children must be disciplined, and made to feel the vibrations (1985-0421); Children must also meditate… otherwise they’ll become difficult children… force them to meditate… they must meditate… if the children don’t meditate they’ll have troubles… they’ll be very troublesome children… so try to make them meditate…alright (1989-1203)

They should be made collective and very strong on their Mooladharas. You should be alert to the children’s vibrations… try to find out what’s wrong with them. For example, if you find a child that’s misbehaving, don’t ‘go on’ all the time with him – call the child once… make the child sit down, and talk to the child… that you should do like this… (1985-0421); Cruelty to children may result in the children getting weak hearts (1982-0711); Little children should respect their elders, calling them Auntie or Uncle… and not only by their first name (1985-0421); The relationship must be established in childhood… like Aunty or Uncle… or even Mr – little children should never call older people by their first names… that’s not done (1985-0421)

It is Shri Ganesha who creates the child within the mother’s womb… he selects the face… the colour… everything. With his magnetic power he manages to attract the right type of genes… he does all such important things for you… all the time busy… never rests… so full of joy and hard work (1984-0902); They are special children given to you as a trust… they are not ‘your’ children… they are the Adi Shakti’s children; So too much hugging etc. is not necessary – try this more on others’ children, and less on your own (1985-0421); All the children of the world are your children – you are the parents of all the children… you have to look after all the children (1989-0423)

Some children have beautiful attention, and some don’t have… it is not always the blame of the parents, but of course partly they are responsible. At this age if their attention is not good, at what age are they going to improve. Parents pamper them, spoil them… then the children can’t have good attention (1988-0106); Children in the West never sit quietly… they must go out and make a big noise – yet in India, the children sit so quietly (1983-0107); In India, you find children absolutely keeping quiet… because the mother takes up responsibility to train her child. Yesterday also they were running about here… the reason is the mother doesn’t take responsibility, as a mother, to see the children are properly brought up (1997-1005); During the Mother’s speech, children who make noise should not be there, or should be near the door, so they can go out (1983-0725)

Children, if they are not massaged fully, they become very restless (1984-0902); So it is important to understand how to give all the comfort to the child, and look after the child… but don’t spoil the child (1984-0902)

There are so many very great Saints who want to be born, and the Divine Mother wants only such people to be married by Her, who will bear such good children. But we spoil our children, we ruin them… to us they become ‘our’ children and not the children of the Adi Shakti. Then such children stand out because they’re absolutely spoiled, they are aggressive, very naughty, troublesome and possessed. You should think ‘we are just here to create these children for Sahaja Yoga’, and ‘these are Mother’s children… we are just looking after them’. Then the detachment will come. Sometimes you have to scold them, you have to put them right, you have to talk to them and tell them… ‘you are Sahaja Yogis and you are great people!’ (1987-1230.1); You have to load them with dignity… load them with praises… so that they settle down (1985-0502)

I am so very happy to see so many children here… all are beautiful Born Realised, and very sweet things… and we should really know that between ten and fifteen years, you will see the force that is coming up… and they will correct you… they’ll remove all your complications. So allow them to grow… allow them to be grown up Sahaja Yogis… and you will see the difference… how sensible they are… how beautiful they are. Support them… help them… understand them (1995-0625)

For all the parents who have children… Sahaja Yoga children have to be extremely well disciplined… your children must know how to behave themselves… they must know how to answer… how much they must talk. Do not spoil them with presents… give them presents at the right time… and tell them how they should behave… you have to discipline your children… this is your duty. No child should be allowed to answer the parents back… if they answer back, give them 2 slaps… that’s allowed… teach them to be respectful… if you do not teach them, they will be disrespectful to other people… and other people will smack them, and then you won’t like… but they have every right to smack if a child misbehaves (1980-1205)

You have to tell them how to behave… sit down with them for one hour and talk to them… not in the presence of others… tell them they are like Queens and Kings… put self esteem in them, so they behave themselves. It’s no use spoiling your children – here they will see something on the TV… and you get it for them

– no… you must tell ‘no’… what you want is not what the TV tells you… but what you need is this… and keep it. If they break the toys, and all that, tell them… ‘if you are breaking toys you are not going to get it… keep it properly… arrange them’… let them organise… this is how you train. Respect is the thing – we do not respect our possessions… we just indulge into them… we throw our clothes here and there… and that’s why the children, when they grow up, they have no discipline… and they throw all ‘their’ clothes (1980-1205)

Another habit children must form is to get up early in the morning. The parents must get up in the morning… give them baths… get them ready… give them tea. If the children do not do that, it is because of the parents… parents must be ideal about it. So the whole responsibility of spoiling the children is with the parents… and nobody else – even the Sahaja Yogis should not spoil the children. You have to tell your children til they are 16 years of age… everything that is good, righteous, how to behave and how to live… you have to… otherwise they become vagabonds… and they think ‘oh we can do whatever we like’. Of course you should never pay for children’s work… if they work, they are working for themselves… it is a very bad habit to pay them for doing some work… all this training must be given to them (1980-1205)

Too much of interest in children is also not allowed… that all the time to run after the children… because once they know they are dominating you, they’ll sit on your head. Gradually they will learn. You see, children are still not human beings… either you make them human beings… or you make them devils… is in your hands. You should not be unkind by any chance… but you should not be in any way dominated by them… it’s not the parents who should take instructions from their children (1980-1205)

Tape References:

Date/Ref – Title – Qual – mins

–1997-0823.1 Primord’l Taboos, S Dharma, Krishna Puja, Cabella see 1997-0823 good 65

–1989-1203 Farewell talk – Shudy camps – see 1989-1008 good 35

–1988-0106 Swimming in the sky of joy – G’pule – see 1987-1220 good 25

–1987-1230.1 Marriage, Kolapur – see 1987-1219 good 45

–1985-0421 Ganesha Puja, Children, B’ham – see 1985-0408 not good 25

–1983-0107 Ganesha Puja – Rahuri – see 1983-0113.1 – (5 Pujas in India) good 20 1980-1205 Marriage & Collectivity, Chelsham Road poor 20

1981-0328 Nabhi talk – Australia [some noises, + 15 mins Q&A] good 55 1982-0711 Nabhi to Sahastrara, Derby good 90

1983-0725 Guru Puja, Why in England, pt 4 – Lodge Hill good 50 1984-0902 Ganesha Puja talk, Switzerland [French translation] good 55 1985-0421 Mooladhara + Meditation, B’ham good 35

1985-0502 Niraananda, Vienna Ashram good 60

1988-0921 Speech at Ammonk Ashram, New York good 35 1989-0423 Archangel Shri Hanumana – Margate good 45 1995-0625 Richmond Park talk – Richmond Not good 45

1997-1005 The Main Qualities to imbibe, Navaratri, Cabella good 80

– end – 10 Sep 2002