Married Life

We have to prove to the world that marriage is a Divine Institution… and by this Divine Institution, if you have been put together, it’s also a Divine Plan… and through this Divine Plan, many things are going to work out (1993-1224)

First thing we have to know… that this marriage ceremony that we have organized with a purpose… and the first purpose is that we regard marriage as very essential for Sahaja Yoga. Now why marriage is important is because marriage is like a big Yagnya… like a big Tapasya, you can call it… or is a great experience… how to achieve a balance… how to become a witness… and how to become the Spirit… is important (1993-1228)

Now the first and foremost thing you have to know is that he is your husband… and nobody else… nobody is more important than him. You see, men are very easy to be controlled… if you can make them feel they are the most important people for you… then you can manage them very well. The first and foremost ambition… or idea… should be that I’ll make my married life extremely happy… because if the married life is happy, you will be happy. Now men have a habit sometimes of losing their temper… doesn’t matter… that’s their habit… so you shouldn’t immediately become the same type… but you can little bit… in a womanly way, try… to put your… sweet… device of smiling in it… or laughing it out… somehow… but not to make it serious… it’s very important (1993-1228)

So how to handle the men, especially your husbands is an art… and that art you will achieve gradually… but if you start finding fault with the men… then you are finished. You must say that ‘you are the best’… that’s the way you have to deal with them… not that you are befooling them, because you say this… but because you love… and love is the basis between you and him… nothing else… not money… not what you have got for him… or he for you… nothing of the kind. Love is something which you can express also through matter sometimes… by giving some nice presents or nice food or something… but the most important thing is your heart – you should not cheat… in any way… you should not be hypocritical… or try to do something that is not pure (1993-1228)

So, in Sahaja Yoga, the purpose of these marriages is to have you connected internationally… so you all transcend all the barriers of your nationality… barriers of racialism… of caste… of so much of materialism… so you should not compare your husband with anyone… he is your husband… and you shouldn’t expect too much of him. So try to understand… not to boss your husband… or try to put him right… or do things. I have seen some ladies who are extremely tense… tense type… they can never give joy… they are themselves not in joy… how can they give joy… so the tension should not be there… at all… of any kind… be relaxed… you are the other side of Sahaja Yoga, which gives peace… joy… and nourishment… and also complete tranquillity… in the family, you are responsible for tranquillity… even if the husband is angry (1993-1228)

First feed your children, your husband… and then you eat yourself… because that is the job of a woman… like a man should go earn a living… do what he wants to do… job and all that… but the woman has to really look after the husband… look after the family… everything. So the only thing you have to do is to love them with a clean heart… and all the time forgive… and let them… ‘know’ that… “she is the only one I have, in the whole world”… apart from… the Holy Mother (1993-1228)

Most important thing is you should not talk about your past at all… because past is finished. Now you are Sahaja Yogis… you are Realised Souls… so you don’t have to say a word about your past. Even if your husband starts talking, you just stop and tell him… ‘we are to live in the present, don’t tell us about your past… just forget the past, and live in the present’… because in the present resides the Reality… and the Reality is the Ocean of Joy (1993-1228)

You should not nag him for anything. Supposing he doesn’t like some things… you shouldn’t do it… whatever he doesn’t like… small things you know. Also you must understand how you have to take to the style of life of your husband. Women should be entertaining… they should not mind if somebody comes to stay, or live with them… on the contrary, they should be happy they are able to look after someone who is a Sahaja Yogi. So for Sahaja Yogis, you must keep always your heart open… your house open. It is the responsibility of the women to make their marriage happy… depends on their intelligence, and on their dedication to Sahaja Yoga… it’s their responsibility. And if you see in a wider sense, the responsibility of making a good society is that of a woman… even if she has to suffer, she can… like this Mother Earth, she can suffer anything… she never feels she suffers, she is so great. You are the shaktis… so as shaktis if you have to suffer you don’t mind… and what you have to feel is that we are responsible for making our society a perfect society… that’s our responsibility. All your greed… all your ambitions… everything… should be directed towards making a very very happy married life (1993-1228)

Tape References:

Date/Ref – Title – Qual – mins

–1993-1228 Talk to bridegrooms & Shri Gauri Puja, G’pule – see 1993-1224 good 10 1993-1224 Talk about Marriages, To Bridegrooms, G’pule – see 1993-1224 poor 20

– end – 10 Mar 2003