Wife

The wife is the Gruhalakshmi, the Goddess of the household, the most important and the most powerful part of the family. She is equal to but not similar to the husband, and if she starts competing with the husband, then the family and the children suffer. Her most important role is to produce the fruit of the family, the children. She is the shakti, the power of the family, the motherhood, and bears all… and is to be respected, and is also to be respectable. Without a healthy family basis, all society will be destroyed (1981-0328)

Of course you have your wife, which is your private thing… there should be something like ‘private’ in Sahaja Yoga… and that is the only thing that is private for you… that you are husband and wife… the rest is all collective (1986-0818); The place of the wife, in the subtle system, is on the left hand side of the stomach, in every human being (1978-1005)

Some of the ladies are extremely dominating and stupid – marriage is honeymoon, as they call it… honey is the essence and moon is the peace. Now if the women are quarrelsome, fighting, sarcastic, it’s absolutely a hell for man. Instead of this, she should know how to please the husband… in a way it’s a trick… how to please others. What do we do to our husbands… do we try to please… first of all, find out what he likes… like my husband, I would say… he said you must wear bangles… so all my life I have worn bangles… it pleases him… what’s the matter… little, little things you do just to please him… then he also starts thinking what should I do for my wife… but first it must start from woman, not from man, because women are responsible for the society. First you must know how to keep the children pleased, how to keep your husband pleased. It’s not your job to dominate, at all… your job is to neutralise his domination, by simple simple things (1997-1004)

Man doesn’t want a wife to be on the horse, and beating with a whip… why has he married – for the happiness, for the joy, for the sweetness of a woman. It’s a very important thing… because so many women are thinking they are something great… some of them have some money… some of them have jobs… but first thing is to keep the society very happy… and to keep your husband happy is the first job… if a woman cannot keep the husband happy, she’s no good for us… this is her job… this is why she is married. You have to love… you have to take your husband into your heart first… this is your duty (1997-1004)

Now if your wife is dominating… try to understand why she does it… what is her problem… what’s wrong with you that she is dominating – if you introspect, you’ll find that you give very little time to her… it is important that you should give some time, pay some attention… and get some things that she likes. Men should try to know what a woman likes… what she wants (1997-1004)

Women should take an interest, and know what sort of colour he will like, and this and that… and also, public opinion is very important for men. Men care for public opinion very much, and you should see that you create a good public opinion in his presence, so that he’ll appreciate you… all these are tricks you see… I tell you, men are very simple… but you have to understand. Sometimes they get angry… doesn’t matter… if they are angry with somebody else, they will come and put it on you – it’s better… because if they do anything to others, they’ll beat them. If you understand few things about men, it can work out. Of course some are very miserable husbands, I know… and some miserable wives… for them we have divorce allowed in our Sahaja Yoga… we have divorce for them (1997-1004)

Now why I am telling you this… because the collective Gruhalakshmis are not alright… like the Swiss women are very good I agree, but very fond of cleanliness… Swiss are mad after cleanliness… you can’t talk to them for 5 minutes… cleaning, cleaning… very difficult… doesn’t matter if the house is a little untidy… it’s not important… this is a subtle type of materialism I think, that the guest is sitting there, and why are you doing all these things in her presence… but this, western women never understand. Another thing is… you go to somebody’s house… their colour scheme is different… but western women, as soon as they enter… immediately they will criticise, on the face – so… you must always consider the feelings of others… if somebody is wearing a dress, immediately they will pass a remark… a very western idea… some Indian women also, though you will not find good Indian women doing that… immediately they say things which will hurt… this is not the way a woman should go… on the contrary, always praise… what’s the harm… you’ll enjoy your sweetness… women have to have a heart… a very large heart (1997-1004)

As a wife you are a part of society… which you have to not only create… but also to preserve… and to advance… it’s the duty of women. They don’t know what their duty is. Now their ‘not duty’ is to work like secretaries… or some sort of politicians. Their main duty is to become a very active member of their society. Marriage is a mission in life… it’s very sweet to be a wife, and a mother (1995-0625)

You should not nag your husband for anything. Supposing he doesn’t like something… you shouldn’t do it… whatever he doesn’t like… small things you know. Also you must understand how you have to take to the ‘style of life’ of your husband. Women should be entertaining… they should not mind if somebody comes to stay, or live with them… on the contrary, they should be happy they are able to look after someone who is a Sahaja Yogi. So for Sahaja Yogis, you must keep always your heart open… your house open (1993-1228)

It is the responsibility of the women to make their marriage happy… depends on their intelligence, and on their dedication to Sahaja Yoga… it’s their responsibility. And if you see in a wider sense, the responsibility of making a good society is that of a woman… even if she has to suffer, she can… like this Mother Earth, she can suffer anything… she never feels she suffers, she is so great. You are the shaktis… so as shaktis if you have to suffer, you don’t mind… and what you have to feel is that we are responsible for making our society a perfect society… that’s our responsibility. All your greed… all your ambitions… everything… should be directed towards making a very very happy married life (1993-1228)

Tape References:

Date/Ref – Title – Qual – mins

–1993-1228 Talk to bridegrooms & Shri Gauri Puja, G’pule – see 1993-1224 good 10

–1986-0818 Raksha Bandhan, Hampstead – see 1986-0823.1 good 20 1978-1005 Dharma [+ further 30 mins – Qual. not good] good 40 1981-0328 Nabhi talk – Australia [some noises, + 15 mins Q&A] good 55 1995-0625 Richmond Park talk, Richmond Not good 45

1997-1004.1 Nature & Balance, evening before Navaratri, Cabella good

– end – 21 Mar 2003