Talk to bridegrooms and marriages, Ganapatipule (India), December 29th, 1994

[Before weddings talk; starts at 10:14]

You have decided once for all. After getting married, I hope none of you will turn back. Because it creates a very bad feeling and I mean, it has become something like what is happening with other people who are not Sahaja Yogis. It’s a responsibility. I know that sometimes you start thinking. Normally, they say that, “It was such an atmosphere that Mother, we accepted and we married”. And after that, I don’t know what goes wrong. So, this marriage is not a mental marriage you must know, it’s beyond mental. If you start thinking now of one thing, then after marriage you’ll start thinking of something else. So, all those, even now, you have to decide. Because I have decided now, I’m so fed up with this kind of thing, those who do such a thing for no rhyme and reason – actually this, I don’t know why I’m doing it. Such an explanation, if you give, then you’ll have to go out of Sahaja Yoga permanently.

But we can’t afford to have these kinds of things going on. Especially girls feel very hurt and are shocked. If something wrong with them, if they are aggressive or they try to get out of Sahaja Yoga or teach you something else, then I can understand. But otherwise, you should not at all, on your own, just for no rhyme and reason, give up the girls, because they are very sensitive and I’m also sensitive on that point.

There are certain hurdles, I have seen, because all these years we have been marrying boys and girls, from different countries. Sometimes, it happens that these girls, when they- especially Indian girls – when they go abroad, they get enamoured by the way you have money, the way you have comfort. And you overly try to individualize them. It means, you pay much attention to them, not to the collective, but to them. And sometimes, they really get spoiled, I tell you. I have known some girls who have really become horrid. So, you must keep a balance. And to approach Indian girls, has to be little gentle, not to be extremely aggressive or extremely hasty.

But another bad point is this that the girls start playing on your mind sometimes, I have me known. That they want to send some money to their parents. This should not be allowed. Or they might say that, “Let us separate. Let us take another house and go away from ashram”. This has once happened in Australia and everybody has learned a lesson from that, because the girls were very unhappy when they separated. You see, in the West, there are no servants nothing. You have to do all the work yourself. But in the ashram, these are collective problems and everybody solves your problem. And you feel so independent and so relaxed. So, here we are marrying you all only for Sahaja Yoga And not for your whims and your ego.

So, please, try to understand that if you are getting married, try to have a kind of a temperament that will suit Sahaja Yoga. Of course, you have to respect your wife she’s your housewife, she’s the one who look after you. She should be your companion and she’ll be kind to your parents. She has to be. But on the at the same time, you also have to take the responsibility and tell her whatever you want her to do. You’d better tell her that, “I would like you to behave like this, or do like this”.
Normally, they are very congenial and good and will accept. But sometimes, sometimes they do defy. It doesn’t matter, they have got a little freedom to defy also. On major points, of course, they should not. But in minor things, you shouldn’t try to dominate them. Actually, it is a com – it is the question of companionship. You are companions, two wheels of one chariot. If one wheel is small, it will go round and round. And the left wheel is on the left-side and the right wheel on the right-side. It is not you can change the plate wheels. So, the left wheel has to understand its responsibility and the right wheel has to understand its own responsibility.

All the time, some people have a also bad idea of nagging, fighting. That’s no companion. On the contrary, try to be gentle and nice and be friendly. But in no way spoil them to such an extent that they go against Sahaj behaviour. So far, very few, I would say 1 to 2% of marriages have failed. But I’m sorry for that, sorry, and sometimes even marrying for two, three years, then they separate. So, the poor children also suffer. So, this should not happen. One should try to see that Sahaja Yoga marriages are for Sahaja Yoga work and Sahaja Yoga community and for the whole universe. And the way you treat a wife and are kindly to her and bring her up – maybe she doesn’t know so much of Sahaja Yoga, maybe she’s not so deep as you are personally- so, try to tell her and bring her up, is a way how you handle the situation and work it out.

So, I leave it to your responsibility. And I’m sure, at this occasion, I wish you all the best for your married life. Especially for the coming New Year, all the prosperity and all the happiness. I hope you will realize that it is quite a hazardous task to select people from this country to that country. And we have tried to do it our level best. If you find something is wrong even before garlanding the girls, you can tell us and run away. We’ll not say anything. But afterwards, it’s not fair. It’s not fair to us. Because we have been really thinking of making you happy. And for that, we have organized these marriages with all consideration. And then, you should not make us unhappy, that’s not fair. So, again and again, I tell you, if you decide not to marry, you can decide now. Till you get married you can decide.

I am surprised that you are all eating outside in some of these stalls, and that’s why I’m sick, because you also got sick. Why did you eat there? You have got food, everything. Why should you go to these stalls? I don’t mind buying other things, but why to eat that horrible food cooked by this dirty people? And which you shouldn’t have had. It’s a very wrong thing.

So, please, try to understand. There are very few rules to be followed in Sahaja Yoga, all for your benevolence, for your good health, for your prosperity. But you should do it and you should not try to escape it, or think that you are an individual, you’ll carry your wife whatever you like. This kind of an idea, if she suggests you, you just tell her to shut up. That’s the only way we can manage things. Because we had lots of problems from that kind of a thing that people did.
May God bless you all.

[Hindi]

Some people have got it- little fallen down also. It’s not the external beauty and all this it’s not the intelligence. It’s not over education, nothing. What is good is temperament, nature and sahaj depth. That’s the main thing.
[End of talk before marriages at 20:06]

[At 49:03 on audio; not on video]
Babamama: Before we conclude this beautiful ‘get together’ with the joy that we have had for so many days, I think Shri Mataji wants to speak to you.
May I request, I call him Sir C.P., doctor Shrivastava, to kindly say a few words.
Sir C.P.: After this beautiful poetry, it’s difficult to say anything because my heart is also full, I’m sure, as yours is. But since I’ve been instructed to say a few words, I will. First of all, this cannot be a part of the earth that I have been living in, it must be a part of heaven which I am seeing here.
[Applause]

[On video at 4:40:58]

This evening, the upper most idea in my mind was, if only, if only this wonderful world which she has created here could be seen all over the country and all over the world, what a marvellous world this would become! Qawwali sung by very eminent Qawwals, and I cannot thank you enough, superb, absolutely wonderful! And Qawwalis sung by Romanians! I could no believe my ears.
Qawwalis by Romanians, wonderful, fantastic!
And this being sung in the gathering of angels. I think I should not take more of your time. I will only say, Madam, you are my wife, but you are the Mother of the universe.
[Applause]
Mataji Shri Nirmala Devi ki! Jai
[Applause]
As you see, I am a very happy man today and I want, first of all, to congratulate those of you who have got married today, the brides and bridegrooms. Our love and blessings will be with you ever. All these marriages will be beautiful. They will succeed enormously and I want to wish all of you a very happy New Year which is coming. Thank you.

[After weddings talk 4:43:42]
Shri Mataji: I am very happy, of course, to see you all here, beautifully wedded to each other. Now you have to only know that through this wedding, you have to create the light of love everywhere, between yourselves, between other Sahaja Yogis, all over the world. We have to spread this love, this Divine love, Chaitanya, it’s called Ruh, all over. You see, the whole world is in a turmoil. Every community is in trouble, and it really hurst me very much, wherever I know about it, that for nothing at all, people are suffering even now, today, in this modern times.
I don’t know how we have advanced. Now it is for you to be on the lookout: wherever you can help people, please try to help. Go all out to do that. Also, you must find out what’s wrong with your society, what’s wrong in your country. Please, try to write it down and also to study. Because we are in the collective, all right. We are enjoying ourselves, it’s heavenly here, I feel it myself. But the whole world is suffering and we have to think about them. We have to find out how we can help them. I wish the whole world can become Sahaj and enjoy the bliss of God almighty.

I hope you are all enjoying each other and all the friends are enjoying. Only thing, one message I have to give: just enjoy.
And try to make others also enjoy. Lot of humour is needed, lot of understanding is needed, to make your life very beautiful. No use making miserable moments, no use, there’s no need. Just understand that in every moment, there is the bubbling of joy. Try to catch that and spread joy all over. God is love and God is truth. But God is joy. If you are not joyous, then it’s not Divine. So, those people who go very serious, should know that they have to still laugh a lot and enjoy yourself.
May God bless you. Thank you.
[End of talk at 4:46:51]